tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5800021021363490352023-11-16T04:38:17.425-06:00COACE ArchiveThe new and improved (but still the same in all the ways that matter) ongoing Confessions Of A Cereal EaterJose_Sayshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17865112080288319711noreply@blogger.comBlogger840125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-580002102136349035.post-58962029163467713672011-01-14T11:51:00.000-06:002011-01-14T11:51:11.809-06:002010 in Review (March)...Facebook Style<span style="font-weight: bold;">Well hello and Good day to all my friends, cohorts and those undecided, today I'm smooth like a diaper...the same diaper that traps my nephews hind side emissions, which upon first sniff makes you think there's a present waiting but it's just a false alarm...an eye burning, gag reflex inducing false alarm.</span><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Just had a random thought...Most of you know that Kermit the Frog does a YAY! and then flails his arm...so would he be the original "fist pump"er?</span><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><span style="font-weight: bold;">How to NOT build self esteem...</span><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><span style="font-weight: bold;">MOM: Son, don't have children....</span><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><span style="font-weight: bold;">ME: Huh? Where did that come from?....</span><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><span style="font-weight: bold;">MOM: Promise me....</span><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Me: Why?....</span><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><span style="font-weight: bold;">MOM: I don't want to have to explain your "stupid" genes, to yet another generation.</span><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Hello my friends, cohorts and those still undecided, Today I am smooth like Steven Seagal...Under Siege (the original and only the original) Steven Seagal NOT Steven Seagal: Lawman (the TV series) Steven Seagal.</span><br />
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<span style="font-style: italic;">"Just looked out the window and noticed the sky is blue. Scared me a little...then I remembered it's SUPPOSED to be that color. Been a while"</span><br style="font-style: italic;" /><br style="font-style: italic;" /><span style="font-style: italic;">"In this crazy topsy turvy world no one will give a hill of beans what my score was on Atari's Tempest...but it was dang high"</span><br style="font-style: italic;" /><br style="font-style: italic;" /><span style="font-style: italic;">"Dear LA Drivers, Not letting me into your lane doesn't mean u will get there faster. It means you're a douche. Love, Black Prius"</span><br style="font-style: italic;" /><br style="font-style: italic;" /><span style="font-style: italic;">"Alright Brain, you don't like me, and I don't like you. But let's just do this, and I can get back to killing you with beer."</span><br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Hello my friends, cohorts and those yet undecided...today I am smooth like 80's rock hair...sure it helped put a hole in the ozone layer...but you gotta admit them do's were just EPIC!!!</span><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Is it strange that I miss sitting around a table pretending to be an elf, while wolfing down cheap pizza, Jolt Cola and hoping to god that the orc doesn't kill me??</span><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><span style="font-weight: bold;">You know you're getting old when people who are half your age can smoke legally...and have been able to for 6 months</span><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><span style="font-weight: bold;">You know you're getting old when people who are half your age can purchase those magazines and videos your parents never wanted you to see...</span><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><span style="font-weight: bold;">You know you are getting old when people who are half your age, you can legally date...esp when you can meet them in pubs...THANKS SYNDI</span><br />
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<span style="font-style: italic;">“What is kinky? Something with kinks or twists. Well that’s all of us, isn’t it? It’s just a matter of finding who fits with your kinks."</span><br style="font-style: italic;" /><br style="font-style: italic;" /><span style="font-style: italic;">"Everything in excess! To enjoy the flavor of life, take big bites. Moderation is for monks."</span><br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Hello my friends cohorts and those still undecided, Today I'm smooth like a cigarette smoking cat, What? Don't Judge Me! I didn't teach it!</span><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><span style="font-weight: bold;">May your day be filled w/ the sounds of laughter, the promise of hope & blessed with friendships both new & old. Until our paths cross again</span><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><span style="font-weight: bold;">You know you are getting old when your favorite song only gets played on the "classic rock" stations.</span><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><span style="font-weight: bold;">You know you are getting old when you realize that the day you graduated high school, most of the kids graduating high school now were born</span><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><span style="font-weight: bold;">You know you're getting old when you see a concert t-shirt from a show you went to, worn by someone who wasn't even born yet, looking brand new & they're not available in adult sizes</span><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><span style="font-weight: bold;">You know you're getting old when you can remember buying albums and cassettes before the mandatory "Parental Advisory" stickers.</span><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><span style="font-weight: bold;">You know you're getting old when you can remember buying albums and cassettes</span><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><span style="font-weight: bold;">You know you're getting old when you can remember the last time a fashion trend was popular....thanks Michelle</span><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><span style="font-weight: bold;">You know you're getting old when you hear the phrase "What do you wanna do with your life?" And the first answer that pops into your head is "I wanna rock!"</span><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><span style="font-weight: bold;">You know you're an 80's child if you were ever afraid to eat Pop Rocks and drink Pepsi, fearing your stomach would burst from the reaction</span><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><span style="font-weight: bold;">You know you're an 80's child if you fully understand the the significance and the need for 1.21 gigawatts of electricity</span><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><span style="font-weight: bold;">You know you're an 80's child if you know who Meat Tuperello and where he's from.</span><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><span style="font-weight: bold;">You know you're an 80's child if you know who Johnny 5 is...</span><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><span style="font-weight: bold;">You know you're an 80's child if you know the significance of "$2.00 dollars, I want my $2.00 dollars"</span><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><span style="font-weight: bold;">You know you're an 80's child if you associate Peter Gabriel with rain and boom boxes..</span><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><span style="font-weight: bold;">You know you're an 80's child if you know not to touch what belongs to One Eyed Willie...</span><br />
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<span style="font-style: italic;">"I lost 20 pounds...How? I drank bear piss and took up fencing. How the fuck you think, son? I exercised."</span><br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">You know you're an 80's child if you wondered what white bread with butter, Cap'n Crunch and Pixie Stix as a sandwich would taste like</span><br />
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<span style="font-style: italic;">"I Don't give a flyin **ck besides how would I If my arms were flappin?"</span><br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Hello friends, cohorts & those undecided, Today I'm smooth like a Cherry Coke I mean a diet Cherry Coke, WAIT, an ice cold diet Cherry Coke,</span><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Hello friends, cohorts & those undecided, Today I'm smooth like the velvety tones of crooner Micheal Bolton's tender & emotional music, waiting for a punchline, huh? There isn't one, I happen to like Mr Bolton's music. I know, let the ridicule begin...</span><br />
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<span style="font-style: italic;">"Rush Limbaugh says if Health Care Reform passes, he's moving to Costa Rica. Isn't that reason enough to vote "yes?"</span><br style="font-style: italic;" /><br style="font-style: italic;" /><span style="font-style: italic;">"We live in such a strange world. We just love to put everyone into little boxes with labels on them. Gets us off."</span><br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">You know you had awful parents growing up...if they let you, drink from the hose as a kid.</span><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><span style="font-weight: bold;">You know you had awful parents growing up...if you were "grounded outside" during the Summer.</span><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><span style="font-weight: bold;">You know you had awful parents growing up...if they let you ride your bike without a helmet, knee pads or elbow pads.</span><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><span style="font-weight: bold;">You know you had awful parents growing up...if you were more worried about coming home with ripped jeans then you were about the gash on your leg</span>.<br />
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Awesome Quote of the Moment - "If you get out of the chase, you will never finish your journey much less win the race." Jim 'JR' Ross<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Hello friends, cohorts & those undecided, Today I'm smooth like Watermelon Jolly Ranchers...because they are yummy...and when I say yummy I MEAN YUMMY!!!...</span><br />
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<span style="font-style: italic;">"Oxygen is a privilege, not a right."</span><br style="font-style: italic;" /><br style="font-style: italic;" /><span style="font-style: italic;">"HIDDEN roaming charges? Jesus, Sprint has 'fucking people' down to a science, like they practice it in a fucking lab on mice first."</span><br style="font-style: italic;" /><br style="font-style: italic;" /><span style="font-style: italic;">"Just got back from the hospital my daughter suffered her 1st concussion ran head first into bday present bunk bed ladder.she is hardcore now"</span><br style="font-style: italic;" /><br style="font-style: italic;" /><span style="font-style: italic;">"To absent friends, lost loves, old Gods, and the season of mists; and may each and every one of us always give the devil his due."</span><br style="font-style: italic;" /><br style="font-style: italic;" /><span style="font-style: italic;">"Dumbest thing I've seen all day: a Master lock on a plastic chain."</span><br />
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<span style="font-style: italic;">A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, 'Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!' After a few seconds, Little Larry stood up. The teacher said, 'Do you think you're stupid, Larry?' 'No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!'</span><br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">I'm trying to figure out which is more unnerving, being remembered or being forgotten...</span><br />
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<span style="font-style: italic;">"I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have the Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!!</span>"<br style="font-style: italic;" /><br style="font-style: italic;" /><span style="font-style: italic;">"I mean, when I was a kid, Child Protective Services didn't care if our parents beat us. As a matter of fact, the parents of all my friends also had permission to kick our ass! Nowhere was safe!</span>"<br style="font-style: italic;" /><br style="font-style: italic;" /><span style="font-style: italic;">"I mean, when I was a kid, there was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I'm saying? We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons"</span><br style="font-style: italic;" /><br style="font-style: italic;" /><span style="font-style: italic;">"I mean, when I was a kid, there were no MP3's or Napsters or iTunes! If you wanted to steal music, you had to walk, ride a bike, get a ride to the record store and shoplift it yourself.</span>"<br />
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<span style="font-style: italic;">"If I say "he's a good friend" I mean: he can see me in the morning without make-up. Variations: he can see me in a bikini, no tan or playing video games"</span><br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Cougartown is the best comedy on TV! That show is 15 shades of awesomeness and 10 shades of brilliant stuffed in an amazing comedic taco!!!!</span><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Happy Cinqo de Mayo! errr I mean Arbor Day! oops I mean Happy Sweetest Day? wait is it Secretary's Day? Oh It's St. Patrick's Day...YAY!!!!</span><br />
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<span style="font-style: italic;">"I have slept with irish girls & been to ireland which makes me more irish than 99% of the fucks celebrating st paddys today"</span><br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">I am so tired of not being able to sleep like a normal person...this 2 hours at a crack is killing me...</span><br />
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<span style="font-style: italic;">"Mmmm....Coffee - Ahhh....Doggie snuggles - Grrr....Medicine"</span><br style="font-style: italic;" /><br style="font-style: italic;" /><span style="font-style: italic;">"Four wheelin' is always fun! But the guy at the car wash is gonna hate me."</span><br style="font-style: italic;" /><br style="font-style: italic;" /><span style="font-style: italic;">Guide to changing your own life: Realize it’s possible, instead of telling yourself why you can’t.</span><br style="font-style: italic;" /><br style="font-style: italic;" /><span style="font-style: italic;">Become aware of your self-talk. Squash negative thoughts like a bug. Replace them with positive thoughts.</span><br style="font-style: italic;" /><br style="font-style: italic;" /><span style="font-style: italic;">Love what you have already. Be grateful for your life, your gifts, and other people. Every day.</span><br style="font-style: italic;" /><br style="font-style: italic;" /><span style="font-style: italic;">Focus on what you have, not on what you haven’t. Don’t compare yourself to others. But be inspired by them.</span><br style="font-style: italic;" /><br style="font-style: italic;" /><span style="font-style: italic;">Accept criticism with grace. But ignore the naysayers. See bad things as a blessing in disguise. See failure as a stepping stone to success.</span><br style="font-style: italic;" /><br style="font-style: italic;" /><span style="font-style: italic;">Surround yourself by those who are positive. Complain less smile more. Image that you are already positive. Then become that person in your next act</span><br />
<br style="font-style: italic;" /><span style="font-style: italic;">"I am manfully fighting the urge to unscrew people's heads and check inside their brain-caves for bad wiring"</span><br style="font-style: italic;" /><br style="font-style: italic;" /><span style="font-style: italic;">"You know I learned that my girlfriend monitors Twitter so I can't ask girlfriend advice here without paying for it."</span><br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Sweet Baby Jesus why?? Didn't you suffer enough the first time around? Heck I try to ignore myself at least 4-5 times a day....Heh...Heh heh...</span><br />
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<span style="font-style: italic;">"Ke$ha was atrocious on Idol this week. What a brutal season. Please comeback Obi Wan Kelambert-u are our only hope..."</span><br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">I have two open slots available...and for some reason that just sounds so dirty...</span><br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Heh...I'm the Batman...but not the cool Adam West Batman...instead I'm the Christian Bale Batman...</span><br />
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<span style="font-style: italic;">"Psst...Orlando Bloom is sitting at the table next to me at dinner...I feel like we are having dinner together...Except we're not..."</span><br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">I saw 15 kids lined up at Wal-mart to get The Twilight movie that comes out at midnight...which is no big deal because these are the same kids who hang out at Wal-mart at midnight anyway...</span><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Regarding Paramount remaking "The Monster Squad" - NOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Unless it's awesome. I mean Avatar/Serenity/Matrix/Lord of the Rings awesome. Otherwise HANDS OFF HOLLYWOOD!!!!!!</span><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><span style="font-weight: bold;">If we're 90% sure we did nothing wrong. Why do we spend so much energy worrying about the remaining 10%. It's like were wired to feel guilty</span><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><span style="font-weight: bold;">How petty & sensitive R we getting when a social network application can cause problems between the people who R supposed to be your friends</span><br />
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<span style="font-style: italic;">"Everyone in life is gonna hurt you, you just have to figure out which people are worth the pain."</span><br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Bobby Hill is preaching against fornicating...LMAO</span><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Hello cats and kittens...oh wait that's someone elses greeting...what I meant to say is...Hello friends and cohorts and those undecided today I'm smooth like a pick up line</span><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Me: Hello, Nice weather huh?</span><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Her: I'm a lesbian, I'm married, I have herpes, and you're ugly</span><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Me: huh?</span><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Her: Just covering all my bases</span><br />
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<span style="font-style: italic;">“Celebrate your success and stand strong when adversity hits, for when the storm clouds come in, the eagles soar while the small birds take cover”</span><br style="font-style: italic;" /><br style="font-style: italic;" /><span style="font-style: italic;">"And I thought, wow Nordstrom has really gone down hill. Then I realized I was inside JCPenny."</span><br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Hello friends and cohorts and those undecided today I'm smooth like..Sugar. Spice. And everything Nice.These were the ingredients chosen to create the perfect little boy. But Professor Utonium accidentally added an extra ingredient to the concoction... Chemical X. Thus the Powerpuff Boy were born! Using their ultra-superpowers Jose has dedicated his life to fighting crime and the forces of evil.</span><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Hello my friends, cohorts and those still undecided, Today I am smooth....like yuletide bliss...only 9 more shopping months till Christmas...I like books and DVD's :D</span><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><span style="font-weight: bold;">It's official, my brain is for the most part useless, I had to dig out the yearbook to start putting names with faces...</span><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Hey I'm mean...yeah...that means I can go put on my pleather jacket, and sing and dance like those bad apples from West Side story...cuz they were tough street hombres...Yeah I'll be a Jet...all this because I can be mean today...</span><br />
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<span style="font-style: italic;">Awesome Quote of the moment - "Before I go to work. All you people out there you have permission to kick ass today.. no need to take names just kick ass."</span><br style="font-style: italic;" /><br style="font-style: italic;" /><span style="font-style: italic;">Greetings my friends, cohorts and those still undecided, today I'm smooth...like a Ken Doll...and it's also embarrassing knowing that doll is hung better than I am...:( Heh</span><br />
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<span style="font-style: italic;">"I REFUSE to see negativity...lets all do it and conquer! World is gettin scary enough without us adding negativity to it!"</span><br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Here's a thought for you...if you were a dessert what would you be?? (do you think we can keep this at least PG rated...thanks)</span><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Hola amigos please click-o on the elite-o guard-o so we can go and kick-o some mucho butt-o... Thanks</span><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><span style="font-weight: bold;">I'm the one with the girlie hand gesture...*reaching into wallet and taking out man card* useless piece of crap, have to keep giving it away, because of stupid man card rules...</span><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Hello friends, cohorts and those still undecided. Today I am smooth like a cue ball...and they itch!!! Stupid razor burn!!! Stupid little razor bumps!!! AHHHHHHHH!!!</span><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><span style="font-weight: bold;">I am not a smart man...nor am I a wise man...isn't having a Spy Museum counterproductive to their profession?????</span><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><span style="font-weight: bold;">I have come to the conclusion that I have the coolest friends on the planet!!! Thank You people for making this place not only tolerable but a joy to be in it!!!!</span><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><span style="font-weight: bold;">How many of you really know all of the people on your friend list? I mean personally know? Here's a task for you. I want all of the people on my list to post how they met me. After you have completed this, re-post this in your status box. You will be amazed at what you read...</span><br />
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</span>Jose_Sayshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17865112080288319711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-580002102136349035.post-16831629010595183982011-01-12T05:27:00.000-06:002011-01-12T05:27:00.645-06:002010 in Review (February)...Facebook Style<span style="font-style: italic;"></span><span class="UIStory_Message"><span style="font-style: italic;">"Sometimes you're crossing the bridge, knowing that the second you get to the other side, you're going to burn the bitch down."</span><br />
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<span style="font-style: italic;">"Dear empty tummy, Shhhhhhh. So loud! You're scaring the dogs. Sincerely, the rest of our body"</span><br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Hello my friends. cohorts and those still undecided...Today I'm smooth...like Tang...because it's yummy, orange and good enough for astronauts, and if it's good enough for astronauts it's good enough for me.</span><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><br />
<span style="font-style: italic;">"Apparently Oral Roberts is dead, but no reports yet of his being staked, beheaded and garlic being shoved in the stump"</span><br />
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<span style="font-style: italic;">"I 'ate my feelings' and I think they may have given me diarrhea."</span><br />
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<span style="font-style: italic;">"I dreamed a baby grizzly bear was my friend but then it ended up crushing my head. Luckily I woke up before he totally ended the friendship"</span><br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Dear Snowplow, Thank you for filling in the driveway, I had nothing else planned for this morning...signed The guy who gave you the one finger salute.</span><br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Dear Mr. One Finger Salute, I saw your rude gesture. I'm only doing my job, today my job is to make sure I put MORE snow in your driveway....signed "What's MY name, Bitch!"</span><br />
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"Sexy and scary, it's a fine line."<br />
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<span style="font-style: italic;">"The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less."</span><br />
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<span style="font-style: italic;">"Do living rooms eventually sicken & die?"</span><br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">How NOT to build up self esteem...</span><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Mom - Don't worry, with looks like yours, be grateful you have a strong personality.</span><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Me - Don't you mean good?</span><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Mom - No.</span><br />
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<span style="font-style: italic;">"I used to think of all the billions of people in the world, and of all those people, how was I going to meet the right ones? The right ones to be my friends, the right one to be my husband. Now I just believe you meet the people you're supposed to meet."</span><br />
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<span style="font-style: italic;">"Not wearing underpants and watching Castle. My Bucket List gets shorter every day."</span><br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Hello friends cohorts and those yet undcided, Today I'm smooth...like ICE...but not just any ICE, I'm talking about that patch that sits right where the garbage cans go, the place where unsuspecting victims, can slip and fall on their pasty, fat asses as a few carloads of people drive by...yeah I'm that smooth</span><br />
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<span style="font-style: italic;">"How come I can spend $$$ on shoes w/o batting an eye but I wait until the damn screen falls off the back of my laptop before I get a new 1 ?"</span><br />
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<span style="font-style: italic;">"Jesus, what a weird day. Time to sit around naked and drink whisky under the stars. Until some cop tases me."</span><br />
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<span style="font-style: italic;">"Best way to ease emotional pain? Laugh your tushy off. I also find doing the running man to old Salt-n-Pepa works wonders."</span><br />
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<span style="font-style: italic;">"The question I've been struggling with is as follows: Do I teach my son to hate the same people/places/things I do, or let him learn to hate on his own?.... And as a follow up, what is the appropriate age for a first sword?"</span><br />
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<span style="font-style: italic;">"A sense of humor is a power in life...try to find yours if you've lost it..."</span><br />
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<span style="font-style: italic;">"Can someone explain to me how a man-slut gets the same network coverage as our President or a telethon for Haiti. Anyone?"</span><br />
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<span style="font-style: italic;">"Why would i want to check a voicemail on my cell phone? People want to talk to me, call again. If i want to talk to you, I'll answer."</span><br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">OH YEAH!!! Here's a little throwback to all the fans of the 80's rock...oh yeah there's some course language, so it's not suitable for all ages...wow look at me being a 'sponsible 'dult.</span><br />
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<span style="font-style: italic;">"Your mother made a batch of meatballs last night. Some are for you, some are for me, but more are for me. Remember that. More. Me."</span><br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Hello my friends, cohorts and those yet undecided, Today I'm smooth like velvet...black velvet...Black velvet and that little boy's smile, Black velvet with that slow southern style, A new religion that'll bring ya to your knees, Black velvet if you please</span><br />
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<span style="font-style: italic;">"It costs nothing to say something kind. Even less to shut up altogether."</span><br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;"> Hello my friends, cohorts and those yet undecided, Today I'm smooth like the vocal stylings of the great Rick Astley...now that's SMOOOOooooooth!!</span><br />
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<span style="font-style: italic;">"Maybe I would have been thinner, richer and more sober if my childhood Idol wasn't Bluto Blutarsky from Animal House."</span><br />
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<span style="font-style: italic;">"My mission, is to one day be as cool of a human as my doggies think I already am."</span><br />
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<span style="font-style: italic;">"KILLER whales. Not Cuddle Whales. Not Soft Whales. They're called KILLER whales. How does this point escape people?"</span><br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">How NOT to build up self esteem... </span><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Mom - You should lose weight. </span><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Me - Why? To be healthy? </span><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Mom - No.</span><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><span style="font-weight: bold;"> Me - To get a Girlfriend? </span><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Mom - No. </span><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Me - Why then? </span><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Mom - Because you're fat.</span><br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">A Nightmare On Elm Street (2010) Trailer - THIS MY FRIENDS MAKES ME VERY VERY HAPPY because this one actually looks very very scary...*waving arms like Kermit the Frog* "YAAAAAAY!!!!!"</span><br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;"> Hello my friends, cohorts and those still undecided...Today I am smooth like heartburn...Damn you Ponza Rotta's from yesterday...Damn You...but YOU WERE SO GOOD...I'll see you soon *wink*!!!</span><br />
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<span style="font-style: italic;">"Damn. Woke up this morning and my house is on top of a witch."</span><br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">YOU ARE EVIL!!! Or I just don't like ICP...well I don't like them, so that makes YOU EVIL!!! Problem solving in my head is fun...even Evel Knievel couldn't make the leaps my brain makes when jumping to conclusions...heh</span><br />
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<span style="font-style: italic;">"A parent's only as good as their dumbest kid. If one wins a Nobel Prize but the other gets robbed by a hooker, you failed."</span><br />
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<span style="font-style: italic;">"If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?"</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Hello my friends, cohorts and those still undecided...Today I am smooth like a freshly shaved face...so very smoo...awww crap I missed a patch....screw it, I'll reshave later today...</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-style: italic;">"I have invented a cocktail called The Pint Of Whisky that uses a pint glass, whisky, and slapping anyone asking for a cocktail."</span><br />
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<span style="font-style: italic;">A true friend doesn't care what you're wearing, if you're home is tidy or not, if you're car is making funny noises, that you only have $5 in the bank this week, or that you and you're loved ones aren't perfect and do actually fight...a true friend just likes you for you! Repost this if you have at least one true friend</span><br />
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<span style="font-style: italic;">"USA = we lose hockey games, win wars & give ppl freedom. Canada = wins hockey games, strip clubs & good crepes."</span><br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Dear Internet, By all that is Great and Holy I did not realize that staying away from the computer for one day would then equal 3 hours of reading updates, emails and status's. I'm sorry internet, I will not neglect you again. Signed, Internet's Bitch</span><br style="font-weight: bold;" /></span>Jose_Sayshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17865112080288319711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-580002102136349035.post-75118313177767652382011-01-10T16:09:00.000-06:002011-01-10T16:09:58.642-06:002010 in Review (January)...Facebook style<b>Hello my friends, cohorts and those that aren't either...Today I'm smooth like hardwood floors...after someone decides to use lemon Pledge on the floor that's right in front of the doorway so that when you wake up and are making a mad dash to the restroom, you slip and fall on your Pale and Fat Mexican Ass...Hello New Year, I guess I'll be your bitch too...</b><br />
<b><br />
</b><br />
<b>HOLY CRAP...my sister is getting married!!!....and I believe the next sign of the Apocalypse is the Four Horsemen regroup and go on a nationwide tour...</b><br />
<b><br />
</b><br />
<b>Hello my friends, cohorts and those that aren't either...Today I'm smooth...like a pick-up line...</b><br />
<b>Me: So what's you're sign</b><br />
<b>HER: We Reserve The Right To Refuse Service To Anyone</b><br />
<b><br />
</b><br />
<b>Hello my friends, cohorts and those that aren't either...Today I am smooth...Like a fine wine..."Noooo I don't wanna get out of beeeeeeeed, I'm waaaaarm and coooomyyyyyy!!! Leeeeave Meeeeee Aloooone!!!"</b><br />
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</b><br />
<b>Hello my friends, cohorts and those that aren't either...Today I'm smooth like...Steve McQueen **blink blink** Oh who am I kidding, I'll never be that smooth.</b><br />
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<i>"He asked God, 'Lord, You have commanded me to be happy, but You haven't told me how. Please, Lord what does it take for two people to be happy?' But the Lord had said all that He would say."</i><br />
<i><br />
</i><br />
<i>a fan - "sorry but you look old. specially your neck & cheecks at the second shot.." </i><br />
<i>Demi Moore - "I'm 47 how am I supposed to look?"</i><br />
<i><br />
</i><br />
<i>"Perhaps the most difficult choices to make are the ones that deny us those things our heart wants most, because, as it's been said, without reason nor prudence, the heart wants what the heart wants, and more often than not, it will not be denied."</i><br />
<i><br />
</i><br />
<i>"When someone says, 'you can't do it!' or 'You're good enough!' You do what I do, look them in the eye and say SHUT UP MOM!"</i><br />
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<b>I am trying so hard not to go into the Perv part of the brain after reading this...</b><br />
<b><br />
</b><br />
<b>I'm not slow...I'm retarded...oh wait that does not make me sound good or nice</b><br />
<b><br />
</b><br />
<b>Maybe you need to use a dry heat to start houses on fire??</b><br />
<b><br />
</b><br />
<b>Ironically, I can't login to facebook, yet I can still do this...sometimes Facebook makes me want to cry...or punch Facebook right in the nose.</b><br />
<b><br />
</b><br />
<b>Started the early morning/late night with some Pantera. Then some Puya & now some Sepultura, its been a good music early morning/late night</b><br />
<b><br />
</b><br />
<b>HOLY CRAP!!! I'M OLD!!! Stupid white hairs growing...I even tried doing the myspace posing to hide them...stupid getting older...well let's see how long this pic stays up before I get sick of my face...</b><br />
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<i>"Never walk away from a fight thats worth fighting...Never hesitate when you know, you're gonna act...Never waste your words on a fool, you won't listen...Never sell your soul cause you'll never buy it...back"</i><br />
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<b>I've come to realize that...me - sleep = silly emo, so to correct this equation...Me + sleep = NOT emo & I wanna be NOT emo. That's my plan</b><br />
<b><br />
</b><br />
<b>I decided to kick it old skool when it came to music today...I pulled out the old boom box and the book of CD's and on this chilly chilly day these are the bands that I have been kicking it with so far today...Type-O Negative - Bloody Kisses, Love/Hate - Blackout in the Red Room, Slik Toxik - Doin' the Nasty, TUFF - What Comes Around Goes Around, Wildside - Under the Influence and XYZ - Hungry.</b><br />
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<i>"Sometimes the mind, for reasons we don't necessarily understand, just decides to go to the store for a quart of milk."</i><br />
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<i>"Watching football is like watching pornography. There's plenty of action, and I can't take my eyes off it, but when it's over, I wonder why the hell I spent an afternoon doing it."</i><br />
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<b>There's something heart warming about reading a Tweet that simply says "Good Morning Sinners!"</b><br />
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<i>"Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die."</i><br />
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<b>thas right beee-yah-chess....that means i am mature.... :P...so take that</b><br />
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<i>"Haven't trimmed my beard in so long that it's gone from Crackling Virility Hedge to Hobo Rape Thicket."</i><br />
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</i><br />
<i>"Don’t kneel at my alter and then change your religion. It stings like a motherfucker.”</i><br />
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<b>It's time for me to get some badly needed sleep. My insomnia is finally getting the beat down it deserves. Bon nuit mes amies, Bon nuit.</b><br />
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</b><br />
<b>My IQ 173 beats Judith Polgar ( IQ=170 ), Albert Einstein ( IQ=160 ) and Bill Gates ( IQ=160 ). LMAO...yeah me smart...funny lil box that shows boobies say to me, Me am smart</b><br />
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</b><br />
<b>Dishes and the kitchen are officially clean.....er than it was 30 minutes ago..heehee</b><br />
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</b><br />
<b>Hello friends, cohorts and those undecided, Today I'm SMOOTH like a flat tire...all pretty on top and a let down on the bottom...</b><br />
<b><br />
</b><br />
<b>I'm trying to bribe a local law enforcement officer (he's my cousin) to let me hold his taser...he said "NO!!!" and it makes me sad</b><br />
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</b><br />
<b>Hello my friends, cohorts and those that aren't either...Today I am smooth like an operator... a smooth operator, smooth operator, smooth operator.</b><br />
<b><br />
</b><br />
<b>and so the epic battle began...one man stood against insurmountable odds. With a reslove of steel forged in countless battles, he approaches the beast. He could smell the evil coming off of it like waves. He will be victorious. He has no choice. He's out of clean socks and unmentionables...damn the beast known as laundry...damn the beast.</b><br />
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</b><br />
<b>I watched Leverage, The depths of awesomeness that is Leverage makes the Grand Canyon look like a crack in the sidewalk</b><br />
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</b><br />
<b>I am KICKIN laundry behinds today...2 more loads and I am DONE!!!</b><br />
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</b><br />
<b>Laundry's ass...OFFICIALLY KICKED!!! I even watched Daybreakers at the same time...Jose's ass...officially bored...I say wait for cable or at least as a free rental</b><br />
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</b><br />
<b>LOL...ok...but I won't wash your unmentionables...and I don't fold clothes...except for towels, those I'll fold</b><br />
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<i>"It occurred to me this morning, as I was pumping my milk whilst reading Twitter, my life would seem odd to the Amish."</i><br />
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</i><br />
<i>"Everything right & wrong with America summed up in this slogan: 'A corndog is a hot dog in a delicious sweater.'"</i><br />
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<b>Hello friends. cohorts and those undecided, Today I'm smooth like silk...the fake milk not the cocoons made by larvae</b><br />
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</b><br />
<b>Hello friends. cohorts and those undecided, Today I'm smooth like the ground...now I wish everybody would get their damn pants off of me</b><br />
<b><br />
</b><br />
<b>Is Jesus Vampire Hunter still available on Netflix? I wanted to watch it, but I just couldn't force myself to</b><br />
<b><br />
</b><br />
<b>When people curse at me I just stare at them and after a few seconds, with "surprise" in my voice I go, 'Oh that's it? Sorry I thought you were going to be original. Sorry, I was giving you too much credit. My bad.'</b><br />
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<i>"Since I am huge Dallas Cowboy fan, does that make me a Romo-sexual? Playoff football-I LOVE IT"</i><br />
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<b>Hello my friends, cohorts, and those undecided...Today I am smooth like Jell-o, any Jell-o except Orange Jell-o. Orange Jell-o is gross.</b><br />
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</b><br />
<b>Hello friends, cohorts and those undecided, Today I'm smooth like a root beer float...A&W root beer, not Barq's...NEVER BARQ"S!!!</b><br />
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<i>"How come it's $2 for an In-n-out burger and $32 for a pilates class? You leave me with no choice..."</i><br />
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<b>Why are Native Americans called Native Americans when they were Native before there was an America?</b><br />
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<i>A small boy was lost at a large shopping mall. He approached a uniformed policeman and said, "I've lost my grandpa!" The cop asked, "What's he like?" The little boy replied, "Jack Daniels and women with big tits".</i><br />
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<b>Nope, I can not see through people. I try and accept exactly what they show me. Sometimes it's good, other times not so much.</b><br />
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</b><br />
<b>No I can't hide from myself...I have tried and I always come to the same conclusion...apparently I'm a really good tracker because I find myself every time.</b><br />
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<i>"a pharmaceutical laced touch to combat the unfriendly touch of time...and memories."</i><br />
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<b>I rarely feel lost, more like misplaced in familiar surroundings. Like a smile on a tear stained face. I always found that disturbing. Or I could be missing, without a trace. Running from the hand I'm holding. I rarely feel lost. But sometimes, I wish I was escaping the thoughts in my head that need erasing. Or it could be that I'm not lost at all, it's just that I haven't been found yet.</b><br />
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</b><br />
<b>Your words are like scalpels, cutting through the pristine to expose the the torment that lies just below the skin...thank you for sharing.</b><br />
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<i>"Your enemy is never a villain in his own eyes. Keep this in mind; it may offer a way to make him your friend. If not, you can kill him without hate--and quickly."</i><br />
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<b>Thank you for putting into words, the desolation some of us feel often.</b><br />
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</b><br />
<b>I believe that we are supposed to remember the joy of youth and embrace life with the same fervor. I hope that the lessons of youth have taught us which path to take. I pray that the dreams of youth continue to fuel the people we have become. I believe that acting like children is never the problem. I believe that acting childish is.</b><br />
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</b><br />
<b>Your words, carefully crafted as they are, continue to open my eyes to new perspectives through your perceptions.</b><br />
<b><br />
</b><br />
<b>My dark and stormy night was, an insanely humid day, when others lost faith and trust in the man I was and for the first time I saw the sickened creature hiding behind the facade of my creation.</b><br />
<b><br />
</b><br />
<b>..What do I know of Life?</b><br />
<b>Life is...</b><br />
<b>just, unjust, difficult and easy</b><br />
<b>fair, unfair, spiteful and forgiving</b><br />
<b>too long, too short, finished or unfinished</b><br />
<b>A collection of moments strung together in a fragile mosaic</b><br />
<b>the past we reflect on, the present that passes by</b><br />
<b>where you started and where you end up</b><br />
<b>the dreams we strive and hope</b><br />
<b>beautiful, ugly, joyous, tragic</b><br />
<b>Life is...</b><br />
<b>What do I know of Life.</b><br />
<b><br />
</b><br />
<b>I believe no memory good or bad is ever truly forgotten or erased. To dwell on either is akin to swimming in the vastness of the ocean drowning in glory days or in moments of misery. But every new experience whether good or bad keeps you moving, towards the shores of living</b><br />
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</b><br />
<b>They could accomplish everything they have ever wanted to do and their life would never be complete. That is the curse of those that spend their time looking towards the heavens and not on the path at their feet.</b><br />
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</b><br />
<b>I welcome those negative people with open arms. If it wasn't for all the people who have told me what I couldn't do, then I wouldn't have tried so hard to prove them wrong. And I wouldn't have known what I had been capable of all this time.</b><br />
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</b><br />
<b>I am saddened by the gifts I'll never get to give to the person that "was not there"...and thank you for reminding me...that I am not the only one who feels this way</b><br />
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<i>"For newcomers, Warren's Rule: if Warren has been awake less than 2 hours, it is Morning, no matter what the clock says."</i><br />
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<b>Hello my friends, cohorts and those yet undecided, Today I'm smooth...And It's just like the ocean, Under the moon, Well it's the same as the emotion that I get from you, You got the kinda loving that can be so smooth : )</b><br />
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</b><br />
<b>Hello my friends, cohorts and those yet undecided, Today I', smooth like Superman, only with a towel as a cape, and underwear on the inside.</b><br />
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</b><br />
<b>Hello friends, cohort, and those still undecided,Today I'm smooth...Like the Ability to lose the power of speech...</b><br />
<b>Her: So what's your name?</b><br />
<b>Me: He...Uh...Heh...heheheheheheheh</b><br />
<b><br />
</b><br />
<b>Hello my friends, cohorts & those yet undecided, Today I'm smooth like Batman...only not filled with angst, a little doughy, not in peak physical condition, goes to bed by midnight, not rich, and has no cool toys. But other than that, just like Batman.</b><br />
<b><br />
</b><br />
<b>Sadly you know those biscuits in the exploding paper tube...all of a sudden I know what I would look like in spandex....*SHUDDER*</b><br />
<b><br />
</b><br />
<b>Hello my friends, cohorts and those still undecided...today I'm smooth like ice... Ice ice baby vanilla, Ice ice baby (oh-oh) vanilla, Ice ice baby vanilla, Ice ice baby vanilla ice, Yo man let's get out of here, Word to your mother, Ice ice baby too cold, Ice ice baby too cold too cold</b><br />
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</b><br />
<b>Hello my friends. cohorts and those still undecided...Today I'm smooth...like butter...on fresh from the oven banana bread...mmmm fresh and hot banana bread</b><br />
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</b><br />
<b>Hello my friends, cohorts and those still undecided...today I'm smooth like a pick up line...</b><br />
<b>Me: Hi, so what's your name?</b><br />
<b>Her: Ida</b><br />
<b>Me: Ida?</b><br />
<b>Her: Ida beat your ass, but I don't hit girls!</b><br />
<b><br />
</b><br />
<b><br />
</b>Jose_Sayshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17865112080288319711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-580002102136349035.post-1041817596873539682010-07-06T04:35:00.000-05:002010-07-06T04:35:25.082-05:00MOVIE REVIEWS 18You know what has always bugged me? Movie reviews that take a "I'm so much smarter than you" route. Every movie review I have ever read takes this approach. They sit there and with a fine tooth comb and condemn every aspect of the movie or they praise the intellectual aspects of this cinematic experience.<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: small;"><div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Me, I just want a simple review. Did the movie achieve it's goal. How was the acting? Was the script/story any good. Was the movie entertaining. Add a positive comment. Add a negative comment. Finally make a simple scale and rate that movie accordingly.</div><div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">It's not asking for much.</div><div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Reading a movie review shouldn't have to be a chore.</div><div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">So let's make that scale</div><div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"> 1. Punch me in the FACE, because that's gonna be better than this movie.</div><div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"> 2. I will never watch the movie again</div><div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"> 3. Did I actually pay to see this?</div><div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"> 4. I wish I saw it on cable.</div><div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"> 5. I'll only watch it if its free on cable.</div><div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"> 6. Can't find the remote...so I guess I'll watch this</div><div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"> 7. This is better then the other stuff that's on.</div><div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"> 8. I will watch the movie again</div><div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"> 9. I CAN'T WAIT to watch the movie again</div><div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"> 10. This movie WILL be owned, in any form because it's that damn good!!.</div><div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Now let's review some movies...</div><div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; font-weight: bold; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-size: large;">KNIGHT AND DAY</span></div><div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><img alt="" height="400" src="http://i595.photobucket.com/albums/tt37/hudson0419/knight_and_day_ver3.jpg" title="" width="270" /></div><div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">I went in expecting nothing. I got a romantic comedy with tons of action. It's like they wanted to make a movie like Jerry Mcguire and then give it Mission Impossible action. Which it succeeds in doing. It's not a great movie, but it's fun, sweet, funny and it doesn't leave you feeling like you wasted time or money.</div><div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">The story is OK, the acting is average, the plot line is pretty standard and there are no "WOW" moments. This is a movie that is carried entirely by the charm of of the characters played by Cameron Diaz and Tom Cruise.</div><div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">7/10</div><div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; font-weight: bold; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-size: large;">SPLICE</span></div><div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><img alt="" height="400" src="http://i285.photobucket.com/albums/ll64/simian2008/cool%20poster%20cool%20movie/splice.jpg" title="" width="270" /></div><div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">I have been itching to see this movie since I saw a trailer for it a year or so ago. It looked like it was going to be a great sci-fi horror flick.</div><div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">What I got was a decent Sci-fi movie, that I had already seen. The special effects were good and so was the acting but the story wasn't solid and the whole movie predictable. You could actually physically count all of the sci-fi cliches that were evident. I was completely let down.</div><div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">3/10</div><div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; font-weight: bold; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-size: large;">THE LAST AIRBENDER</span></div><div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><img alt="" height="400" src="http://i566.photobucket.com/albums/ss109/JRKM/Movie/405px-Tlabposter.jpg" title="" width="269" /></div><div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">For those who don't know, this was a cartoon on Nickelodean called Avatar:The Last Airbender, and it was very good. On Nickelaodean the story had three seasons to tell the story of Aang, Katara, Sokka and Zuko. Since each season had 20 or so episodes, this made for quite an epic series filled with interesting characters, places and events. Each of these moments were integral to the story and the characters. It helped move the story while showing charcter growth. I am a big fan of the animated series.</div><div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">However, when you try and squeeze 5 hours of animation (20 episodes) into a 1 hour and 43 minutes, you lose a lot of the things that made the series so special. They don't have time to develop the emotions, you can't see the personal growth of the characters and it lost a lot of the innocence that really allowed you to connect with the story and the characters.</div><div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">The special effects were amazing and the actors that were chosen for their specific roles were visually almost perfect. (Although I did have a complaint with the actor who played Uncle Iroh but that's more of a visual problem, because the actor did a great job in portraying the caring uncle.) But the story was rushed and felt choppy. There was no charcter developement. The whole movie felt forced. This is a movie that could have greatly benefitted from the 150 minute time limit, but that is not the case.</div><div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">4/10 and it really pains me to give it such a low rating.</div><div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; font-weight: bold; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-size: large;">THE TWILIGHT SAGA - ECLIPSE</span></div><div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><img alt="" height="400" src="http://i819.photobucket.com/albums/zz111/morbowens/twilight-saga-eclipse-movie-first-p.jpg" title="" width="270" /></div><div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">OK. I have to admit of the three so far this movies pretty good. Albeit the "does she or doesn't she" gets old pretty quick, this one actually kept my attention. The story is pretty straight forward with no real surprises. There are some action sequences, some foreshadowing, some teen romance, some verbal tete a tete and the gratuitous "funny" moments. The special effects are quite stunning and again not over done. Many of the characters finally get some back stories. And for once, this didn't feel like a chapter. It actually felt like a stand alone movie, and for the most part it is. It actually does quite a good job of referencing a lot of information from the first two movies, without the need to see them, because the references themselves are self explanatory.</div><div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Overall I actually enjoyed this movie.</div><div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">8/10</div><div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"><br />
</div></span>Jose_Sayshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17865112080288319711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-580002102136349035.post-62312522241127798462010-06-16T15:57:00.000-05:002010-06-16T15:57:01.891-05:00MOVIE REVIEW 16You know what has always bugged me? Movie reviews that take a "I'm so much smarter than you" route. Every movie review I have ever read takes this approach. They sit there and with a fine tooth comb and condemn every aspect of the movie or they praise the intellectual aspects of this cinematic experience.<br />
<br />
Me, I just want a simple review. Did the movie achieve it's goal. How was the acting? Was the script/story any good. Was the movie entertaining. Add a positive comment. Add a negative comment. Finally make a simple scale and rate that movie accordingly.<br />
<br />
It's not asking for much.<br />
<br />
Reading a movie review shouldn't have to be a chore.<br />
<br />
So let's make that scale<br />
<br />
1. Punch me in the FACE, because that's gonna be better than this movie.<br />
2. I will never watch the movie again<br />
3. Did I actually pay to see this?<br />
4. I wish I saw it on cable.<br />
5. I'll only watch it if its free on cable. <br />
6. Can't find the remote...so I guess I'll watch this<br />
7. This is better then the other stuff that's on.<br />
8. I will watch the movie again<br />
9. I CAN'T WAIT to watch the movie again<br />
10. This movie WILL be owned, in any form because it's that damn good!!.<br />
<br />
Now let's review some movies...<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>The Karate Kid (2010)</b></span><br />
<img alt="" height="400" src="http://i885.photobucket.com/albums/ac58/octanerender/Film%20and%20Score/the_karate_kid_poster_04.jpg" title="" width="300" /><br />
Let me start by saying I am a fan of all the KK movies. I am a child of the 80's so the original will have a special place in my memories, as do a lot of the iconic 80's films. But with all that said, the Original KK was predictable, the acting was weak, the story was the usual 80's coming of age storyline and the one endearing factor was Mr Miyagi.<br />
<br />
The updated version holds true to the original story, where the there's a new kid getting bullied and has to learn to stand up for himself, with the help of a wise mentor.<br />
<br />
The story was good, the acting average (although seeing Jackie Chan do something that required more acting and less action was a pleasant surprise) the plot predictable and the characters weren't always believable.<br />
<br />
This version of the movie, does a better job at fleshing out the story, it also does a lot of subtle and wonderful homages to the original. If you're looking for academy award winning material, you won;t find it here. What you will find is a pleasant, inspirational and moral family movie.<br />
<br />
7/10<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>Prince of Persia - The Sands of Time</b></span><br />
<img alt="" height="400" src="http://i295.photobucket.com/albums/mm143/neko_charlotte/prince-of-persia-the-sands-of-time-.jpg" title="" width="270" /><br />
The fact that this is based on a video game leaves me a little worried. For some reason, when it comes to movies based on video games (with the exception of the Resident Evil movies) are always lacking in substance and story.<br />
<br />
I was pleasantly surprised by this movie. It your usual summer blockbuster with lots of special effects and your all start cast. But what I wasn't expecting was that it had a pretty decent story. The story was pretty good, the acting was very good albeit they had a strong cast of very good actors, the storyline lends itself into making this a very a profitable and multimovie franchise and the special effects were amazing.<br />
<br />
This is of course an action adventure movie, and in and of itself , doesn't have many surprises. But it is a fun ride from beginning to end. <br />
7/10<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b><br />
</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>Youth in Revolt</b></span><br />
<img alt="" height="400" src="http://i446.photobucket.com/albums/qq186/Cobra252/Movies/YouthinRevolt.jpg" title="" width="270" /><br />
Although an entertaining film, I never know when or if I should ever take this movie seriously. Micheal Cera does a wonderful job of playing dual roles in this movie, but even when he's being his "bad" self he's still endearing.<br />
<br />
Like I said it is an enjoyable film, with a coherent storyline, decent plot, wonderful actors and believable (although slightly exaggerated) characters. This movie does a great job of being both innocent and pompous with situations that are quite over the top, while being tongue in cheek during the same situations.<br />
<br />
But I'm still not sure whether I actually liked the movie...and I'm not sure whether or not I will watch the movie again, but I was entertained...if not a little befuddled.<br />
<br />
6/10<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>Iron Man 2</b></span><br />
<img alt="" height="400" src="http://i732.photobucket.com/albums/ww326/adecp/Iron-Man-2-Poster-2-512x758.jpg" title="" width="270" /><br />
I wanted to love this movie. I thoroughly enjoyed the first one and I love everything that Robert Downey Jr has been in. but I felt underwhelmed by Iron Man 2. The special effects were amazing and the acting was above average. But in the end I just didn't care. I had no emotional investment in the battel between good and evil. It didn't matter to me who would win the "epic" battle.<br />
<br />
Although the 100 MPH banter between Pepper and Tony almost mad the movie for me...almost. <br />
<br />
When super hero movies set the bar high for themselves, sometimes, they just don't reach that level again. And in my humble opinion, Iron Man 2 fell just short of greatness.<br />
<br />
5/10Jose_Sayshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17865112080288319711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-580002102136349035.post-69624823036561018882010-06-05T11:04:00.000-05:002010-06-05T11:04:07.498-05:00PAUSING FOR STATION IDENTIFICATION<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b style="font-weight: bold;">WELCOME TO "MANUEL IN A DIGITAL WORLD."</b></span></span><br />
<img alt="" height="400" src="http://i289.photobucket.com/albums/ll223/Phulespride/bc1284d8.gif" title="" width="310" /><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><span style="font-size: large;"><b><b style="font-weight: bold;">THIS IS MY BLOG.</b></b></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<img alt="" height="400" src="http://i289.photobucket.com/albums/ll223/Phulespride/0be581dd.gif" title="" width="337" /><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br />
<span style="font-size: small; font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>I WRITE HERE.</b></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<img alt="" height="400" src="http://i289.photobucket.com/albums/ll223/Phulespride/cb697eaa.gif" title="" width="400" /><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;"><b><span style="font-size: large; font-weight: bold;">IT'S USUALLY NOT THAT GOOD.</span></b></span></span><br />
<br />
<img alt="" height="400" src="http://i289.photobucket.com/albums/ll223/Phulespride/99cd7dc4.jpg" title="" width="400" /><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br />
<span style="font-size: small; font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>BUT, IT IS MY BABY.<br />
</b></span></span></span><img alt="" height="400" src="http://i289.photobucket.com/albums/ll223/Phulespride/3d9fefce.gif" title="" width="356" /><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>AND I AM IT'S WEIRD MOTHER.</b></span></span><br />
<br />
<img alt="" height="400" src="http://i289.photobucket.com/albums/ll223/Phulespride/935d9240.gif" title="" width="291" /><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>THIS IS ME. SORTA.</b></span></span><br />
<br />
<img alt="" height="344" src="http://i289.photobucket.com/albums/ll223/Phulespride/3a20c678.gif" title="" width="400" /><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br />
<b><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-size: large;">I'M JOSE.</span><br />
</span></b><img height="383" src="http://i289.photobucket.com/albums/ll223/Phulespride/3d8cc291.jpg" style="border-width: 0px;" width="400" /><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>I DO SPEND SOME TIME ON THE INTERNET</b></span></span><br />
<br />
<img alt="" height="292" src="http://i289.photobucket.com/albums/ll223/Phulespride/3054e152.jpg" title="" width="400" /><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">AMONG OTHER THINGS I AM A BLOGGER</span></b></span></span><br />
<br />
<img alt="" height="400" src="http://i289.photobucket.com/albums/ll223/Phulespride/2c6a3e64.gif" title="" width="331" /><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I REALLY AM</span></b></span></span><br />
<br />
<img alt="" height="400" src="http://i289.photobucket.com/albums/ll223/Phulespride/5a744a28.jpg" title="" width="318" /><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>OK, I'M NOT A GREAT BLOGGER</b></span></span><br />
<br />
<img alt="" height="400" src="http://i289.photobucket.com/albums/ll223/Phulespride/2da2a9c2.jpg" title="" width="317" /><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>BUT I KEEP TRYING</b></span></span><br />
<br />
<img alt="" height="288" src="http://i289.photobucket.com/albums/ll223/Phulespride/6df8134d.jpg" title="" width="400" /><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>BUT I CAN BE FOUND ALL OVER THE PLACE</b></span></span><br />
<br />
<img alt="" height="273" src="http://i289.photobucket.com/albums/ll223/Phulespride/ac3b890f.jpg" title="" width="400" /><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>FOR EXAMPLE I CAN BE FOUND ON</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><b><span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://www.facebook.com/people/Jose-Says/100000808318130#%21/profile.php?id=100000808318130" style="color: black; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; text-decoration: underline;" target="_blank">FACEBOOK</a></span></b></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
http://is.gd/cCpXR</span><br />
<br />
<img alt="" height="302" src="http://i289.photobucket.com/albums/ll223/Phulespride/03be508b.jpg" title="" width="400" /><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br />
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">AND ON<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><a _blank="" href="http://twitter.com/jose_says" style="color: black; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; text-decoration: underline;">TWITTER</a></span></span></b></span><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
http://twitter.com/jose_says</span><br />
<br />
<img alt="" height="400" src="http://i289.photobucket.com/albums/ll223/Phulespride/c18b2ea2.jpg" title="" width="312" /><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>I ENJOY SPENDING TIME HERE<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.movies-links.tv/users/jose_says/" style="color: black; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; text-decoration: underline;" target="_blank">WATCH MOVIES ONLINE</a></span></b></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
http://www.movies-links.tv/users/jose_says/</span><br />
<br />
<img alt="" height="400" src="http://i289.photobucket.com/albums/ll223/Phulespride/9ad68ca1.jpg" title="" width="240" /><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">AND WATCHING TV HERE<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.hulu.com/profiles/jose_says?cb=1275662583#self" style="color: black; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; text-decoration: underline;" target="_blank">HULU</a></span></span></b></span><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
http://is.gd/cCrsU</span><br />
<br />
<img alt="" height="290" src="http://i226.photobucket.com/albums/dd10/detskyt/snoopy-tv.jpg" title="" width="400" /><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>THIS IS A GUILTY PLEASURE<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/user/TheDirtZero" style="color: black; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; text-decoration: underline;" target="_blank">YOUTUBE</a></span></b></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
http://www.youtube.com/user/TheDirtZero</span><br />
<br />
<img alt="" height="226" src="http://i289.photobucket.com/albums/ll223/Phulespride/23f5144e.jpg" title="" width="400" /><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">AND THIS IS A PLACE I PUT PICTURES<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">...sometime's. It's been a little while but it will get updated soon...</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://coacevisual.blogspot.com/" style="color: black; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; text-decoration: underline;" target="_blank">PHOTOS</a></span></span></b></span><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
http://coacevisual.blogspot.com/</span><br />
<br />
<img height="155" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXd13-j9RejMcR8OnYxchrcEnsN4QAL0IBlXykiy1ZVOoOthLiEc89msmVH75uYWEXVvAZL5b-11MpGpli9r5swbrjI8OMniQEo_vfRNIYWpiITuFFlBdKDZUNI7nqirQF-3dMUpWRi89S/s660/bannerfans_5463178.jpg" style="border-width: 0px;" width="400" /><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><b><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
AND THIS IS WHERE<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://coacearchive.blogspot.com/" style="color: black; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px; text-decoration: underline;">EVERYTHING I'VE EVER WRITTEN GOES</a></span></span></b></span><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
http://coacearchive.blogspot.com/</span><br />
<br />
<img height="293" src="http://i289.photobucket.com/albums/ll223/Phulespride/9877d89d.png" style="border-width: 0px;" width="400" /><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">SO WELCOME TO "MANUEL IN A DIGITAL WORLD."</span></b></span><br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: verdana, arial, sans-serif, helvetica; font-size: 13px;"><img alt="" height="400" src="http://i289.photobucket.com/albums/ll223/Phulespride/bc1284d8.gif" title="" width="310" /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">THIS IS MY BLOG.</span></b></span><br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: verdana, arial, sans-serif, helvetica; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;"><img alt="" height="400" src="http://i289.photobucket.com/albums/ll223/Phulespride/0be581dd.gif" title="" width="337" /></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>THIS IS WHERE I WRITE.</b></span></span>Jose_Sayshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17865112080288319711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-580002102136349035.post-62284699915041798252010-06-04T04:47:00.000-05:002010-06-04T04:47:12.675-05:00MODEL PRISONER<span style="font-size: medium;"><b>My cage has no walls</b></span><br />
<div><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>no bars.</b></span></div><div><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>no windows</b></span></div><div><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>no doors.</b></span></div><div><span style="font-size: medium;"><b><br />
</b></span></div><div><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>But it is still a cage.</b></span></div><div><span style="font-size: medium;"><b><br />
</b></span></div><div><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>It is not made of iron</b></span></div><div><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>steel</b></span></div><div><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>glass</b></span></div><div><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>or wood.</b></span></div><div><span style="font-size: medium;"><b><br />
</b></span></div><div><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>But it is still a cage.</b></span></div><div><span style="font-size: medium;"><b><br />
</b></span></div><div><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>It has no visiting hours</b></span></div><div><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>no visitors.</b></span></div><div><span style="font-size: medium;"><b><br />
</b></span></div><div><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>But it is still a cage.</b></span></div><div><span style="font-size: medium;"><b><br />
</b></span></div><div><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>It has no bunk</b></span></div><div><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>sink</b></span></div><div><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>toilet.</b></span></div><div><span style="font-size: medium;"><b><br />
</b></span></div><div><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>But it is still a cage.</b></span></div><div><span style="font-size: medium;"><b><br />
</b></span></div><div><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>There are no guards</b></span></div><div><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>cell mates</b></span></div><div><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>wardens.</b></span></div><div><span style="font-size: medium;"><b><br />
</b></span></div><div><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>But it is still a cage.</b></span></div><div><span style="font-size: medium;"><b><br />
</b></span></div><div><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>There are no parole boards.</b></span></div><div><span style="font-size: medium;"><b><br />
</b></span></div><div><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>It has no early release for good behavior.</b></span></div><div><span style="font-size: medium;"><b><br />
</b></span></div><div><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>My cage has one captive</b></span></div><div><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>prisoner</b></span></div><div><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>inmate.</b></span></div><div><span style="font-size: medium;"><b><br />
</b></span></div><div><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>Just one.</b></span></div><div><span style="font-size: medium;"><b><br />
</b></span></div><div><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>Me.</b></span></div><div><span style="font-size: medium;"><b><br />
</b></span></div><div><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>And I am a model prisoner.</b></span></div>Jose_Sayshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17865112080288319711noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-580002102136349035.post-71253195805380348612010-05-31T04:58:00.000-05:002010-05-31T04:58:13.524-05:00ONCE MORE UNTO THE BREACH, DEAR FRIENDS, ONCE MOREIt's been a long time since I sat behind this keyboard and actually wrote something...or anything that could be construed as new. Or at least anything that wasn't more than a line or two long. OK, that's not entirely true either. I'm in the middle of writing a few stories, that I have hit a slight mental block on, but will be posted when they are done.<br />
<br />
But I haven't written a blog in quite a while.<br />
<br />
I, in the last few...wait a second...umm do any of you even know anything about me?<br />
<br />
Oh I know there a few lovely ladies have been on me to start writing again, and thank you for the emails, they made me feel special and filled me with happiness. And one gentleman who has wondered where I have been, and I promise you all that I will never be away for that long again.<br />
<br />
Let's answer a few of those inquiries first...<br />
<br />
I'm Jose and this is my blog and at this exact moment in time, I am sitting in a smokey room and the night is literally about to end. Thank you Bon Jovi for that little bit of prose. I know one person in here and the rest of the room is filled with people I have never met before. The smell of stale beer, cheap cologne and way too much perfume assaults my sense of smell like the battle of Normandy. I have a diet coke, a pack of smokes, a fully charged laptop and compulsion to write. I don't have any clue what it is I am going to write, but here I sit with my fingers doing the Elaine dance all over the keyboard.<br />
<br />
I'm a recovering alcoholic and in just a few weeks I will have spent one year sober. Which is probably the only positive thing I have done in my life. It doesn't mean I haven't tried to do positive things before, just that when your looking at the world through the distorted bottom of a bottle, it's pretty hard to see things clearly. It's even harder to see what kind of person you are or can be. Instead you have to look back through the years of devastation and self pity to get a clear picture, and it's never pretty. Although it is eye opening and quite a humbling experience.<br />
<br />
I'm also going through a divorce. Don't feel bad about this. I finally came to terms with it in April after being separated for a year. I don't feel bad that my marriage ended but I do mourn the fact that I lost a really good friend. Although I am happy that she will finally be able to find a partner and live a life that will make her happy.<br />
<br />
Less then a week ago there was a girl who I thought was perfect for me, well she ended our blossoming relationship. Mainly because I am overweight. But one point this relationship drove home is the simple fact that if you can't be with me during my low points, you don't deserve me when I reach my high points. What bugs me about this that in the beginning, it wasn't an issue, but through a Dear John letter it was. For someone who claimed to always be honest, she failed and quite spectacularly at that.<br />
<br />
I should be really upset about the pettiness of it all, but it proved to me two things.<br />
<br />
First that I am ready to start a relationship with someone who is willing to be completely honest and second, that honesty is something that is proven not promised. Those are some amazing lessons to learn, and I am very glad I did.<br />
<br />
That's been my last couple of months.<br />
<br />
Now the near future has a few more changes happening. My baby sister is getting married to a good guy. That makes me very happy.<br />
<br />
This just goes to prove that life is constantly evolving and so am I. Normally, all of these things would have sent me down the road of righteous rage and justifiable anger but it seems it takes a lot more than this to get my hackles up nowadays.<br />
<br />
Somehow, someway I have found some peace of mind and the riptide of anger that fueled me for most of my life seems to be less and less of an issue.<br />
<br />
So with all that said, thank you for being patient with me. I've spent to long away from you all and from myself. I am a writer, and I will no longer deny myself that honest truth. I may never be a published writer nor will I ever be paid for this, but by god, this makes me happy. And It's about time I made myself happy...<br />
<br />
Not that way you perverts...<br />
<br />
LOL<br />
<br />
With all that said, I am Jose and this is my blog. Welcome and welcome back...Jose_Sayshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17865112080288319711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-580002102136349035.post-36097570873061039702010-05-02T15:18:00.000-05:002010-05-02T15:18:34.572-05:00MOVIE REVIEWS 15You know what has always bugged me? Movie reviews that take a "I'm so much smarter than you" route. Every movie review I have ever read takes this approach. They sit there and with a fine tooth comb and condemn every aspect of the movie or they praise the intellectual aspects of this cinematic experience.<br />
<br />
Me, I just want a simple review. Did the movie achieve it's goal. How was the acting? Was the script/story any good. Was the movie entertaining. Add a positive comment. Add a negative comment. Finally make a simple scale and rate that movie accordingly.<br />
<br />
It's not asking for much.<br />
<br />
Reading a movie review shouldn't have to be a chore.<br />
<br />
So let's make that scale<br />
<br />
1. Punch me in the FACE, because that's gonna be better than this movie.<br />
2. I will never watch the movie again<br />
3. Did I actually pay to see this?<br />
4. I wish I saw it on cable.<br />
5. I'll only watch it if its free on cable. <br />
6. Can't find the remote...so I guess I'll watch this<br />
7. This is better then the other stuff that's on.<br />
8. I will watch the movie again<br />
9. I CAN'T WAIT to watch the movie again<br />
10. This movie WILL be owned, in any form because it's that damn good!!.<br />
<br />
Now let's review some movies...<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Kick-Ass</span></span><br />
<img alt="" src="http://i289.photobucket.com/albums/ll223/Phulespride/a28b1aa3.jpg" title="" /><br />
<br />
10 shades of brilliant!! This move does in fact KICK ASS!! Solid story, well paced plot, just enough humor, romance, and corniness to off set the large levels of ultra violence. Solid and consistent acting from each character, and each one almost believable. From beginning to end, this movie creates one response after another from laugh out loud moments to OMG!! moments.<br />
<br />
10/10<br />
but if you are not a fan of ultra violence you should stay away from this movie, because it has it in spades.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br style="font-weight: bold;" /> <span style="font-weight: bold;">How To Train Your Dragon</span></span><br />
<img alt="" src="http://i289.photobucket.com/albums/ll223/Phulespride/23383976.jpg" title="" /><br />
<br />
I had no expectations with this movie. None at all. I enjoyed it all. The story was well written, and the plot moved flowed fairly well. They could have spent a little more on character development but you got enough so that it didn't hinder the story. Although I am quickly becoming less of a fan of the gross anatomy deformity present in just about all CGI movies. The movie had heart and quirkiness without it ever detracting from the overall feel of the movie.<br />
<br />
My only real complaint is the jerky camera movements that have become popular to signify dramatic fight scenes, doesn't translate very well in an animated movie.<br />
<br />
But this movie is a lot of fun.<br />
<br />
9/10<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Clash of the Titans (2010)</span></span><br />
<img alt="" src="http://i289.photobucket.com/albums/ll223/Phulespride/5031668d.jpg" title="" /><br />
How can you possibly screw up such a simple story? How can you make a movie that is damn near visually perfect, and have such a dull story? How can you take the caliber of acting talent that was present and literally make it disappear?<br />
<br />
I don't know either but this remake did it.<br />
<br />
I want to sit here and just complain, and criticize the movie, but I won't do that.<br />
<br />
3/10 and that's ONLY because visually, this move is amazing...<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br style="font-weight: bold;" /> <span style="font-weight: bold;">The Losers</span></span><br />
<img alt="" src="http://i289.photobucket.com/albums/ll223/Phulespride/8102de57.jpg" title="" /><br />
<br />
Wow. Wow! WOW!!! What a fun action movie! From the beginning. this movie had drama, was action filled and laugh out loud funny. Even the cliched moments felt refreshing. I actually held my breath during some of the intense moments. The story itself could have been a little more fluid and the characters a little more developed...but over all a really fun way to spend 90 minutes of my life. Here's hoping they continue this as a franchise, because there's still a lot more stories they can tell.<br />
<br />
8/10Jose_Sayshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17865112080288319711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-580002102136349035.post-81756436356269968952010-04-25T17:42:00.001-05:002011-09-26T19:54:25.775-05:00MILK AND SUGAR WITH YOUR INSANITY?<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 18px;"></span><br />
<div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><u style="text-decoration: underline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">After sharing the Disappointment Saga (don't worry, more chapters are coming) I was feeling a bit nostalgic. So I went back and started looking through the ARCHIVES.</span></span></u><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br style="text-decoration: underline;" /></span></span><u style="text-decoration: underline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Wow!! Heh!! OMG!! So for the next week...I'm going to be sharing some of my favorite past entries...and basically giving you directors commentary. Think of it as a lowbudget dvd special feature...</span></span></u></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><i>This is sadly and happily one of my favorite stories...and I don't really know why. I can try and say it's a story of uncompromising hope but it 's more along the vein of unequivocal stupidity. Well either way it's the reprint of the day...oh yeah there is one thing I must mention.</i></span></span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><i><br />
</i></span></span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><i>This story was of course written before the end of my marriage, so that is why the editors note reads the way it does...at the time I had all my stories "proofread" by her, and she would add the occasional little comment. Most times it added that final bit of flair that I love my blogs to have. That's why it stayed.</i></span></span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><i><br />
</i></span></span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><i>But it really is OK...my life has recently taken a bizarre turn which I will be talking about in the very near future.</i></span></span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><i><br />
</i></span></span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><i>So after all that talking, let me share with you...</i></span></span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br />
</span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">MILK AND SUGAR WITH YOUR INSANITY?</span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">QUOTE OF THE DAY:</span></span></span></div></span><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br />
</span></span></div><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."<br />
Albert Einstein</span></span><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br />
I believe there is some quote or proverb that says something about life and experience being two of the greatest teachers we can learn from.</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">But when it comes to those particular lessons, I must have either skipped out of class or had a substitute teacher.</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">This journey starts way back in the first grade. I was rummaging around the pantry for some tasty goodies. I noticed a shiny wrapped object, which warranted further investigation. Upon further investigation, what I discovered was akin to finding a light saber.</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I have always been a firm believer in the </span></span><em style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: italic; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">"if it looks like (fill in the blank) and smells like (fill in the blank), then by all evidence presented it should be (fill in the blank)."</span></span></em></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Baking chocolate does not subscribe to this philosophy. As a matter of fact, baking chocolate laughs in the face of that philosophy. It mocks it while wearing monkey pants. But I believe I am digressing.</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">It smells like a delicious chocolate bar. It looks like one of the biggest chocolate bars I had ever seen. So with my first grade understanding of these simple and basic truths, this was going to be one of the greatest chocolate experiences in my life.</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I was mistaken.</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I can still remember acrid bitterness after the first three chews. The conflicting moments between my taste buds screaming "THIS IS NOT CHOCOLATE...SPIT IT OUT NOW!!!!" while my brain was pleading in a whiny tone to my taste buds "BUT IT LOOKED AND SMELLED LIKE CHOCOLATE! IT'S NOT MY FAULT."</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Luckily I had the wherewithal to trust my taste buds and make a mad dash to the sink where I proceeded to spit the remains out.</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">You know those moments alarming clarity that seem to sneak up on you? I am about to have two of those moments.</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">1. I had not yet learned the fine art of spitting.</span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">2. I couldn't reach the sink properly.</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">As a five, almost six, year old lad, I was a little bit on the pudgy and short side. On a good day and with some planning I could do the infamous run and jump that all young lads and lassies do when there are vertical obstacles.</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">This would not be one of my good days.</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Luckily, the apartment my mom and I lived in had a very tiny kitchen so I was able to take a step, grab a chair, pull it over, climb on it and do that dribble spit thing that children are oft to do, into the sink.</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">There was a moment of illumination while leaning over the sink and spitting out the bitterness that had overwhelmed my unsuspecting tongue; my mouth had been open during my baking chocolate ordeal.</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Allow me to paint by number a picture for you. As I stare at the mess in the sink, on my shirt, shoes, on the chair, and all over the floor I begin to cry, which wakes up my mother. Her first reaction is of course to be quite upset, but settled down pretty quick. There was no parental punishment to be dealt out this time.</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">My mother believed I had learned from my mistake.</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I would prove her wrong.</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">It happened while I was living in El Paso, Texas when I was 8 years old and I had a hankering for something sweet. So </span></span><em style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: italic; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">again</span></span></em><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> I explore the pantry. And </span></span><u><em style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: italic; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">again</span></span></em></u><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> I find a chocolate bar. I had this tingly sensation that I had been at this crossroads before.</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I chalked it up to guilt.</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Until I took that first bite.</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">My fourth grade mind vividly remembered my first grade experience. BUT this time things would be different.</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">First I remembered to keep my mouth shut, tight.</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Secondly I was finally tall enough to be able to spit out the horrendous reminder into the sink.</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Third I had mastered the spitting technique. I had actually won a few spitting contests on the playground during recess.</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Of course this would be the exact moment my mom would walk in the door.</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">With a mixture of horror, wonder, and disappointment she asked me why I didn't learn my lesson the first time I had done this.</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I simply said "I just thought the other one was a bad batch of chocolate."</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">The horror and wonder left her face. The disappointment lingered while she said "I sure hope you learned your lesson this time."</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I would prove her wrong.</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Again.</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I was a senior in high school and I was taking a home economics cooking class. The teacher had on some occasion brought in chocolate treats for her students. We had broken up into cooking teams and she starts to hand out some chocolate bars. Ms. Teacher and I were on the same page of the book, although her interpretation was very different than mine.</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">She begins to say "This is baking chocolate, and not very good to eat."</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I heard 'This is..' as I was biting into what is now my third foray into the consumption of this deceptive food product.</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Only the look of pain on my face gave any indication that I had done something stupid.</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">It became felony stupid when I decided to tell my mom about my home economics experience. This time her expression was simply disbelief, mixed with a touch of "he seems so bright, and then he does this".</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">"Are you ever going to learn?" my mother asked me. I don't know which was more humbling. Her asking me that question or the fact that you could almost hear the last embers of hope quickly growing cold.</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">"Yes mother. I have learned my lesson."</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Seven years later I see it in the pantry.</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">AGAIN.</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I walk away.</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I know it tastes bad.</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I know the disappointment I will suffer if I take a bite.</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I remember first grade and the shame.</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I remember fourth grade and embarrassment.</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I remember 12th grade and the look I got.</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Somehow with all this going through my wasted grey matter, I somehow forget that it tastes like absolute shite, I grab it and take a bite. I, of course, proceed to spit it out.</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">This time I do not tell my mother. I don't want to hear her heart break.</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Now what does all of this have to do with today.</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Yesterday, I was helping my mom clean out her pantry. Take a guess what was in there.</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I am sitting here typing out this story to remind myself that taking a bite of unsweetened baking chocolate is not a good idea.</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Yet...</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I wonder...</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: bold; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Editor's note:</span></span></strong></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: bold; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small; font-style: inherit; line-height: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I, the wife, just read this. I guess I'd better hide the baking chocolate I bought this afternoon for Christmas cookies. Otherwise, I have a sneaking suspicion it will go missing, and I'll never EVER know where it went.</span></span></strong></div>Jose_Sayshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17865112080288319711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-580002102136349035.post-39872512946145557302010-04-21T02:38:00.002-05:002010-04-21T02:38:21.635-05:00NOT ENUFF TIME<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px;"></span><br />
<div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">Yeah...I got some stuff going on</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">I should be back on a schedule of sorts </span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">by the weekend</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;">Wish me luck</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;"> <img alt="Photobucket" border="0" src="http://i289.photobucket.com/albums/ll223/Phulespride/1edfa935.gif" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px;" /> </span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;"> Oh yeah...things are looking up </span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;"> and this makes me happy </span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: large;"> REALLY REALLY HAPPY!!!</span></div>Jose_Sayshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17865112080288319711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-580002102136349035.post-30751419765133937922010-04-13T04:38:00.000-05:002010-04-13T04:38:44.556-05:00Dear Closed Minded PeopleOriginally Posted 5/9/2005<br />
<br />
<span style="text-decoration: underline;">After sharing the Disappointment Saga (don't worry, more chapters are coming) I was feeling a bit nostalgic. So I went back and started looking through the ARCHIVES.</span><br style="text-decoration: underline;" /> <br style="text-decoration: underline;" /> <span style="text-decoration: underline;">Wow!! Heh!! OMG!! So for the next week...I'm going to be sharing some of my favorite past entries...and basically giving you directors commentary. Think of it as a lowbudget dvd special feature...</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<i>For a little while I had this idea...What if you could write a letter to those people/ideas that really just irked you? What would you say? Would you be nice and diplomatic or just plain "in your face"? I only wrote a few of these, and as I sit here typing this, I can't remember why. Who knows, I maybe one day I'll add to the few of these that exist.<br />
<br />
This one I think came across just scathing enough to make a point. It's actually one of my favorites because this is the first thing I ever wrote that got a comment from someone whom I didn't know. I really felt a sense of accomplishment that day. Personally, I believe I was just in a bad mood, and was just sick of dealing with stupid ignorance. I mean I can think of a hundred reasons to hate someone, that doesn't involve race. color. creed, or orientation. I mean, even "He looked at me funny." is a better excuse. So here you go...From the very short lived "LETTERS TO ONAUGH" period, I give you...</i> <br />
<br />
<br />
Dear Closed Minded People,<br />
<br />
How are you doing today?<br />
<br />
I'm feeling a bit of spit and vinegar towards you today.<br />
<br />
I saw a shirt that truly pissed me off and well that led me to this little outburst. The shirt said "Straight Pride" on the front and "God made Adam and Eve, not Adam on Steve on the back. This shirt just made me realize how simple minded some of you are...no wait, I mean it made me realize what simple minded mother fuckers some of you are.<br />
<br />
Gay, Bi or Lesbian, they are still people with real voices and ideas. They didn't ask you to join them in their lives, but you make sure you try to drag them down anyway.<br />
<br />
What they do is not a matter or concern for you.<br />
<br />
You are just a drop of piss in the toilet bowl of your own existence.<br />
<br />
They like most of us don't care what your opinion is. They like most of don't want to hear your opinion.<br />
<br />
So stop trying to force it down my throat. I can form my own opinions. I'm special like that. I like to make my own opinions. I usually use things like facts to help but I'm really weird like that.<br />
<br />
I don't need you to bring a higher power into a debate over what is right or wrong. The Bible gave us two simple rules...Love God, and Love each other because in doing so, you love God. I've read the Bible, a few times. Never does it say, tear your fellow man down. Nor does it say beat them up in my name. Again, and just to reitterate, Love God, and Love each other because in doing so, you love God.<br />
<br />
Here are a couple of rules that are evident in the bible...<br />
<br />
Turn the other cheek...sound familiar?<br />
<br />
Love thy brother as you would thy self...any bells ringing?<br />
<br />
I mean we have all heard the saying ignorance is bliss right? But let's all be honest, it's only blissful when the ignorant leave.<br />
<br />
So to all you close minded afterbirths, whose conception was just because the semen leaked after an anal encounter, I have this last statement. <br />
<br />
Let it go.<br />
<br />
The only true waste of the gene pool, is not the little gay couple having a dinner, but the waste that won't leave them alone.<br />
<br />
Get over it.<br />
<br />
You really aren't that special.<br />
<br />
Sincerely,<br />
MeJose_Sayshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17865112080288319711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-580002102136349035.post-4593986223077888202010-04-11T05:56:00.000-05:002010-04-11T05:56:12.609-05:00I BREATHE IN AND BREATH OUT, PUT ONE FOOT IN FRONT OF THE OTHER<span style="text-decoration: underline;">After sharing the Disappointment Saga (don't worry, more chapters are coming) I was feeling a bit nostalgic. So I went back and started looking through the ARCHIVES.</span><br style="text-decoration: underline;" /><br style="text-decoration: underline;" /><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Wow!! Heh!! OMG!! So for the next week...I'm going to be sharing some of my favorite past entries...and basically giving you directors commentary. Think of it as a lowbudget dvd special feature...</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-style: italic;">This particular blog began a trend that continues today. I started to blog about moments that were happening in my life...as they were happening. Some of them were good things and some of them were very painful. I had made a very important decision, that I would put my life out there. In some cases it helped with the self healing. In other times,, it would be a reminder of things to grow from. All of the things I would blog from this point on, would be honest representations of my life. Pretty, ugly and indifferent this would be snapshots of my life...</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
ORIGINALLY WRITTEN 4/14/04<br />
<br />
<br />
On this day I start a new life in the same way I started my “life.” <br />
<br />
Kicking, screaming, surrounded by strangers, hoping someone will hold me and keep me safe. <br />
<br />
I have come to terms with my fear of being alone. I slept in a bed knowing no one will be there when I wake up. I made dinner for one. I walked around my apartment looking at it for the first time. I walked around and thought to myself, “I no longer have a girlfriend who I have shared the last eight years with. I said 'goodbye' to that girl who I cared about and who I thought cared about me. Nor do I have a friend that was as close to me as a brother. Whose every word meant the world to me and who spoke the truth with absolute certainty.”<br />
<br />
For the first time in nearly a decade, I am on my own, thinking my own thoughts and walking my own path. That's a pretty scary feeling when you see it coming and damn near paralyzing when it broadsides you. Although I am not dealing with the "Oh crap I'm lonely" fear, but the "wow, so where do I go from here" fear. <br />
<br />
And, oddly, I'm OK with that. <br />
<br />
My life's not over. It just rebooting. I think everyone has to hit the reboot once in a while to be able to embrace the world in all it's magnificent beauty and brutality. I stand here before you all and I'm doing it on my own terms. Naked, bare and stronger than ever before. <br />
<br />
Just because I said goodbye doesn't mean that I hate her. All it means is that I know we won't be walking the same path together. But now and then our paths will cross as they are supposed to. Today I walk a path with a mission in my head and a quest in my soul. I intend to look for the person meant only for me. The person who will love me because of who I am. The person who will love me, even if I can't make dreams come true.<br />
<br />
I will do all this while breathing. I'll take a deep breath in and I'll and breathe out. While placing one foot in front of the other. Taking one day at a time. <br />
<br />
And I'll continue to do this until I'm no longer telling myself to do this. I'll keep doing this until I find that moment when I suddenly realize I'm not walking alone, and you are there. Matching me breath for breath and step for step.Jose_Sayshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17865112080288319711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-580002102136349035.post-7547615616450372762010-04-08T07:15:00.000-05:002010-04-08T07:15:28.393-05:00WHATEVER HAPPENED TO SATURDAY MORNINGS?<span style="text-decoration: underline;">After sharing the Disappointment Saga (don't worry, more chapters are coming) I was feeling a bit nostalgic. So I went back and started looking through the ARCHIVES.</span><br style="text-decoration: underline;" /><br style="text-decoration: underline;" /><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Wow!! Heh!! OMG!! So for the next week...I'm going to be sharing some of my favorite past entries...and basically giving you directors commentary. Think of it as a lowbudget dvd special feature...</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-style: italic;">This is technically the very first blog I ever wrote. I had written the occasional article for a newsletter for the comic shop I once worked at, but this was going to be in the style of my brand new hero. Spider Jerusalem.<br />
<br />
As an homage to Spider Jerusalem, I started my first ever rant for "I HATE IT HERE...SOMETIMES", and lo and behold another blogger was born.</span><br style="font-style: italic;" /> <br style="font-style: italic;" /> <span style="font-style: italic;">INTERMISSION</span><br style="font-style: italic;" /><span style="font-style: italic;">First of all, Spider Jerusalem is a fictional futuristic gonzo journalist, from the pages of TRANSMETROPOLITAN. </span><br style="font-style: italic;" /> <span style="font-style: italic;">TRANSMETROPOLITAN was a monthly comic book series that lasted 5 years.</span><br style="font-style: italic;" /> <span style="font-style: italic;">It was written and created by Warren Ellis.</span><br style="font-style: italic;" /> <span style="font-style: italic;">In this series Spider had a weekly column called I HATE IT HERE.</span><br style="font-style: italic;" /> <span style="font-style: italic;">Which I really liked, so I added the "...sometimes"to be original...</span><br style="font-style: italic;" /><span style="font-style: italic;">END OF INTERMISSION</span><br style="font-style: italic;" /> <br style="font-style: italic;" /> <span style="font-style: italic;">I began to write my blog.</span><br style="font-style: italic;" /> <br style="font-style: italic;" /> <span style="font-style: italic;">I started with an introduction of who I am and what I wanted to accomplish.</span><br style="font-style: italic;" /> <br style="font-style: italic;" /> <span style="font-style: italic;">Then the cursing, swearing, and written venom came forth...like a failed spitwad that kind of dribbles down your chin and onto your shirt. I didn't have my voice yet. Hell I had no clue what I wanted to say. I just knew I had to take advantage of this new medium. I just knew I wanted to write. On 09-16-03 I finally wrote a little piece on the the failings of Saturday Morning Cartoons.</span><br style="font-style: italic;" /> <br style="font-style: italic;" /> <span style="font-style: italic;">I added a small introduction to the blog about a week later, and put the intro in before the first blog.</span><br />
<br style="font-style: italic;" /> <span style="font-style: italic;">Since then, I have gone back and done some editing, some clarifying of the original piece while still keeping the original flavor and feel. So with all that said, here's a look to see how it all started.</span> <span style="font-style: italic;">Almost 7 years later, and I still have no clue what I'm doing half the time.</span><br style="font-style: italic;" /> <br />
<br />
Originally Written 9-16-2003<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
(FLASHBACK)<br />
My eyes open, and with a slight panic, I glance at the clock. There's a five and an eleven. With a sigh of relief I wipe the after effects and evidence of sleep from my eyes. I leave my warm and comfy bed and head to the bathroom. Afterwards I wander into the kitchen. I drag one of the two kitchen chairs to the cupboards so I can reach an old margarine container that I use as cereal bowl. The clock now says six, one so I turn on the TV.<br />
<br />
I know the cartoons won't start until AG-USA is over, but I can not take the chance that today for some weird reason things might change. I walk back to the cupboards to get my box of cereal. If my luck holds out I'll have Frosted Flakes and of course the worst case scenario is I get Apple Jacks or Kix. On this particular day I get Alpha Bits. It's not necessarily what I want, but for today it'll be just fine.<br />
<br />
On the TV they are putting some metal tags on some cows ears. I think to myself “Doesn't that hurt them?” followed with a “Oh WHAT DOES THE CLOCK SAY?”<br />
<br />
The little wind up clock that sits on top of the console TV now says six six. OK, I still have time. I have to start making the coffee for my mom, because I know she won't want to miss anything either.<br />
<br />
<br />
INTERMISSION<br />
Of course I later learned it was the coffee smell that woke her up. The reason she sat there next to me is she was just trying to wake up. However, as a child, it was everything and the world that she sat with me.<br />
END OF INTERMISSION<br />
<br />
<br />
Not too much longer now. I check to make sure we have milk in the fridge...and yes we are cool on that front.<br />
<br />
Afterwards I jump in the shower and wash all my naughty bits and the dirty ones too. But because I was wearing my super cool Mr. Spock pajamas I put them back on. I look at the clock six and eleven.<br />
<br />
Alright!! I pour my Alpha Bits into the margarine bowl, add some milk and with great haste, walk into the living room. I'm spilling milk and cereal all over the place, but it's OK; I'll clean it up during the commercials. Thus begins my Saturday morning ritual.<br />
<br />
For the next 5 hours I'll be glued to the boob tube. Spending my Saturday mornings with the likes of the The New Adventures of Mighty Mouse and Heckle & Jeckle, The Bugs Bunny/Road Runner Show, Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids, Shazam, Super Friends, Plastic Man, Captain Caveman and the Teen Angels, The Super Globetrotters, Fred and Barney Meet the Shmoo, Spider-Woman, Scooby-Doo and Scrappy-Doo, The Daffy Duck Show, Fred and Barney Meet the Thing, The New Shmoo, The New Adventures of Flash Gordon, Godzilla, Jonny Quest, and The Jetsons to name a few of the heroic, silly and memorable characters who spent many Saturday mornings with me.<br />
(FLASHBACK OVER)<br />
<br />
Whatever happened to shows like Tom and Jerry, Popeye, Drak Pack, Thundarr, Dynomutt, The Tarzan/Lone Ranger Adventure Hour, The Fonz and the Happy Days Gang, Richie Rich, Heathcliff/Dingbat, Plastic Man and Baby Plas, Hong Kong Phooey, and The Flintstone Comedy Show<br />
<br />
What happened to the cartoons based on video games like Pole Position, Captain N: The Game Master, Pac-Man, Q*bert, Dragon's Lair, Frogger, Donkey Kong, Donkey Kong, Jr. and Space Ace?<br />
<br />
Or the cartoons based on Dungeons and Dragons or music videos (the show was called Kid Video)?<br />
<br />
What happened to innocent fun and hi-jinks? Even then I knew that Saturday morning cartoons were basically really long commercials, but at least they were entertaining and FUN.<br />
<br />
Sure we all got older, and waking up at the crack of dawn to watch some stupid cartoons on a Saturday morning wasn't the same thrill it used to be. I wasn't spending those Saturdays alone. I was eating that bowl of cereal with my mom was right next to me, coffee in hand and laughing at all the silliness that was happening on TV.<br />
<br />
Now this isn't just as a days gone by kinda rant. When I was in my 20's I was living with a now ex-girlfriend and her family. Come Saturday morning, her youngest brother and I would be sitting there watching the Saturday morning cartoons. I mean who was cooler than the X-Men and Batman? Well no one was.<br />
<br />
Now it seems those days are gone. Now on Saturday morning you get news and world reports. I mean, back then I would sit through AG-USA to make sure that I didn't miss a single cartoon. I guess it is kinda silly that at 1:41 AM on a Monday morning I'm here talking about those long gone Saturday mornings, but I miss them. Those days of awe struck wonder. The days of the Bugs and Tweety Show. The days of the Lone Ranger and Tarzan Adventure Hour. The days of Shazam and Isis. But put more simply...I miss the simple and innocent days.Jose_Sayshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17865112080288319711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-580002102136349035.post-12517461376472554082010-04-07T06:14:00.000-05:002010-04-07T06:14:11.065-05:00A USELESS RHYME<!--- blog subject --> <br />
<div class="blogSubject"> </div><!--- blog body --> <div class="blogContent" id="pBlogBody_532362503"><span style="font-size: x-small;">ORIGINALLY POSTED 5/25/05</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
the sun rose today, to meet me at noon<br />
<br />
the birds flew away, they said I came back to soon<br />
<br />
the dog licked his lips and than much lower<br />
<br />
we both ran to avoid the javelin thrower<br />
<br />
what a silly day this has been<br />
<br />
the dreams are starting to begin<br />
<br />
a moment of nonsense I share with you<br />
<br />
of soap, conditioner and shampoo<br />
<br />
a momentary lapse of judgment<br />
<br />
and sharing of letters just sent<br />
<br />
no rhyme or reason, I don't need one<br />
<br />
just a Coke and a cinnamon bun<br />
<br />
now that we wasted time<br />
<br />
with this useless rhyme<br />
<br />
this happy guy<br />
<br />
will just say bye...<br />
<br />
...for now.</span></div>Jose_Sayshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17865112080288319711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-580002102136349035.post-59079798060741949642010-04-06T04:02:00.000-05:002010-04-06T04:02:15.341-05:00ON WINGS AND DREAMS THEY SOARWith golden talons I grip the dirt, feline haunches tense and push against the ground, my talons dig into the earth as I pull myself and jump simultaneously into the air, my wings start to flap and carry me on gusts of wind.<br />
<br />
Away from the Earth towards the heavens. I open my beak and screech in pure joy. The wind ruffles my feathers, my tail twitching in excitement.<br />
<br />
And I see you, banking and diving through the clouds. Your golden-orange skin reflecting the rays from the sun. You look like a living flame all sinewy and sleek...<br />
<br />
I begin the chase, my heart beating in my chest, another screech of HAPPINESS, and a greeting to my friend.<br />
<br />
To my mate?<br />
<br />
I follow your golden-orange light, my wings beating, soaring, using the currents of air to bring me closer to you...<br />
<br />
For hours I fly straight and true. I fly towards you. But as the sun sets, your skin of flame, gets dimmer, until nightfall finally arrives.<br />
<br />
I stare at the horizon, I almost see you. You're almost visible, you're almost clear...and then you're swallowed into the night.<br />
<br />
I spread my wings...as I begin my slow decent circling that spot where the meadow kisses the river. My rear paws touch the ground then my talons. I am weary from my flight. I screech my promise as I do every night - I will follow you wherever you go, I will follow you-...<br />
<br />
In the distance, along the horizon towards the heaven like a fountain of flame comes the response - Come and catch me -<br />
<br />
And I lie down...weak...weary... excited for tomorrow...eager for the chase...Jose_Sayshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17865112080288319711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-580002102136349035.post-49291739871283847742010-04-05T07:00:00.000-05:002010-04-05T07:00:31.464-05:00DISAPPOINTMENT 3 - IT'S NOT EASY BEING ORANGE pt 2ORIGINALLY POSTED 7/18/08 <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
A week goes by and it's time for me to step back into White and Orange Romper Room for my buddies birthday party.<br />
<br />
There were six men in our "Party Animal" Entourage.<br />
<br />
As we all stepped into the lobby/hallway area of Hooters (you might remember me talking about this area -This was the spot where "I was greeted with all of these pictures and posters of all these lovely and "blessed" women garbed in tight white t-shirts and orange shorts"), because of my previous bragging escapade, I led the group being the perennial expert of all things Hooters (the restaurant not the body part).<br />
<br />
Much to my dismay it was the same hostess I met the prior week, and she recognized me. She says "Well hello again. You sure wasted no time coming back."<br />
<br />
Internally - I groaned. I just wanted to crawl under a rock to rot away and become an all you can eat buffet for the worms that are said to frequent under said rock.<br />
<br />
Externally - I said "Well this time I'm here because it's my buddy's birthday and what place better is there to start a birthday party then at Hooters?"<br />
<br />
She laughed and looked at my friend and said "Well then let me be the first to person at Hooters to wish you a Happy Birthday." And she gave him a dazzling smile.<br />
<br />
He said "Thank you." and giggled like a school girl.<br />
<br />
She led us to our table and tells us our waitress will be with us in a minute. We all choose a place to sit our collected fat asses down. The birthday boy looks over at me and asks me what, if anything, I know about the hostess. Without thinking I answer "I know she just turned 18 recently, and I think she's here most Fridays." The guys all looked at me like I was this shaman of cool (which I am SO not).<br />
<br />
After that our waitress shows up, looks at the table, sees me and says "Hi Jose, how are you?"<br />
<br />
Internally - I groaned. I just wanted to crawl under a rock to rot away and become an all you can eat buffet for the worms that are said to frequent under said rock, again.<br />
<br />
INTERMISSION<br />
<br />
I have this habit of introducing myself to people who introduce themselves. For example (and since I can't remember her name, so for the sake of this blog we'll call her "Andi")...<br />
<br />
"Hi I'm Andi and I'll be your server today."<br />
<br />
"Well, howdy Andi, I'm Jose and this is _______ (whoever happens to be with me that day)."<br />
<br />
I do this because many many years ago my mother taught me three simple rules.<br />
<br />
1. Be polite and respectful to the people who handle your food. You never know if they might do something to it.<br />
<br />
2. Be polite and respectful to the people who cut your hair, because they control how good or bad you new look will be.<br />
<br />
3. Be polite and respectful to the people who you fall asleep with, because while you are asleep, you have no control over what might happen while you slumber.<br />
<br />
END OF INTERMISSION<br />
<br />
Externally - I say "Hi Andi, I'm doing good, but not as good as the birthday boy here though. How have you been?"<br />
<br />
She says, "I'm doing good."<br />
<br />
Looks over to my friend and says, "and a happy birthday to you."<br />
<br />
He says "Thank you."<br />
<br />
She asks me "Should we start you with a pitcher of beer like last time?"<br />
<br />
I say "Let's make two pitchers, and I don't think some of us have looked at the menu yet." (god, I sound like a pompous ass don't I?)<br />
<br />
"Ahh, so I'm dealing with a table that's easily distracted, huh. OK, I'll be back with the beer in just a minute, OK?"<br />
<br />
She walked away. The fellas immediately opened up the menus so they would be ready to order when she returned with our libations. When she had gone far enough away from our table, the inquisition began.<br />
<br />
"What do you know about her?" "How old is she?" "How often DO you come here?"<br />
<br />
"Aren't they all a little young?" Ouch.<br />
<br />
I knew one of them would ask me something like that. Me being the "OMG she's just a kid!", when discussing actresses who were in my opinion, recently out of diapers.<br />
<br />
At this point I really had two choices. I could come clean, be honest, and expose the web that I had spun two weeks before. Or I could continue with the charade.<br />
<br />
I chose the latter.<br />
<br />
"Andi" returned with the beer and asked if I was going to have the burger again?<br />
<br />
Internally - Damnit!! How on earth can I have the bad luck of having a waitress with a mind like a steel trap. Normally I would love this, but that night I wanted this horror to end.<br />
<br />
Externally - "Sure that sounds good."<br />
<br />
The rest of the guys, ordered their food, and away she went again.<br />
<br />
"I thought you didn't like looking at the young ones?"<br />
<br />
I looked at each and every one of the guys and said "Have you seen me look around at all? No? It's because I don't sit here and ogle at every waitress. When I do come here, I'm usually with a friend, where we sit and have a conversation."<br />
<br />
This was the truth, because the week before I was there with Mike and we did have a conversation. It was about how to get out of this mess I had gotten myself into, but it was a non-ogling conversation.<br />
<br />
"The times when I come alone, I'm usually reading a book or a comic."<br />
<br />
Which is also another truth...sort of. Back in DISAPPOINTMENT 2 - THE FINAL SPOT-LITE, I made a reference to a strip club "that would end up to be and still is my favorite." I would frequent this establishment during the noon hours for a few reasons.<br />
<br />
1. They made one KILLER burger.<br />
<br />
2. It wasn't very busy.<br />
<br />
3. The dancers chose and played the music. Which was really good music<br />
<br />
4. The bar itself was situated in a way that there was a section that was completely blind to the stage, where one could enjoy the beer, the burger, the music and even read a book or a comic. Which I started doing when I realized how young some of the dancers looked.<br />
<br />
"So can we just drop this and just have a good time? Sheesh."<br />
<br />
"Andi" came back with our food. They ate and laughed. Some of the guys made the usual guy comments and some leered on the sly.<br />
<br />
I concentrated on my burger. I am a guy, and I try really hard not to be a complete pig. I admit I have some piggish moments, but for the most part I try to be a good man.<br />
<br />
The girls started to come over to do some song/clapping thing for the birthday boy, and I excused myself. Because, as we all know, beer makes you pee. So I went to the bathroom. When I got back they were done, and everybody in our group were ready to go our separate ways.<br />
<br />
They all chipped in and took off pretty quickly. Birthday boy, said thanks for a great night and went on his merry way.<br />
<br />
I grabbed all the money and counted it. And then I recounted it.<br />
<br />
SON OF A BITCH!!!<br />
<br />
I was 30 bucks short. How could they? Rotten bastards. Thank god they were my friends and I could get back at them, but someone still stuck me with their part of the bill. I was so pissed off. Thankfully I had the money to cover it, but I was still mighty pissed.<br />
<br />
That was when "Andi" showed up. I asked her why she remembered me? It was a thought that had plagued me the entire evening.<br />
<br />
"Because you and your friend last week, had actually talked to me and you guys were nice and polite. You guys were my first table since I had just finished the training the day before. Since then I've had customers that were slobbish and some that were nice, but you two were the only guys who were polite. So when you walked in I remembered you."<br />
<br />
Wow.<br />
<br />
I said thanks, paid my bill, doubled the tip, and I left.<br />
<br />
I went back a few more times that year, usually with a book, and I always asked if I could be seated in "Andi's" section. It was a good feeling knowing that I was remembered for something positive. It was also a good feeling knowing that I was there visiting someone who could be classified as a friend.<br />
<br />
Than one day I went to Hooters and found out she wasn't working there anymore. I knew this day was coming, because she had mentioned going back to college on different occasions.<br />
<br />
She had finally moved on to greener pastures.<br />
<br />
I was disappointed that I never got to thank her for making me realize that I am not such a bad person.<br />
<br />
This would be a lesson I forgot for a long time.<br />
<br />
Until...Jose_Sayshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17865112080288319711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-580002102136349035.post-30693039904599125472010-04-01T04:00:00.000-05:002010-04-01T01:53:15.155-05:00PAUSING FOR STATION IDENTIFICATION<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">WELCOME TO "MANUEL IN A DIGITAL WORLD."</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span></span></span><img alt="" height="640" src="http://i289.photobucket.com/albums/ll223/Phulespride/d0022962.jpg" title="" width="380" /><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br style="font-weight: bold;" /><span style="font-size: x-large;"><b><span style="font-weight: bold;">THIS IS MY BLOG.</span></b></span></span><br />
<img alt="Photobucket" border="0" height="206" src="http://i289.photobucket.com/albums/ll223/Phulespride/7ae6d4dc.jpg" width="400" /><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: medium; font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>I WRITE HERE.</b></span></span><br />
<img alt="Photobucket" border="0" height="298" src="http://i289.photobucket.com/albums/ll223/Phulespride/cdc364f3.jpg" width="400" /><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="font-size: x-large; font-weight: bold;">IT'S USUALLY NOT THAT GOOD.</span></b></span></span><img alt="" height="640" src="http://i289.photobucket.com/albums/ll223/Phulespride/a3a22716.jpg" title="" width="398" /><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br />
<span style="font-size: medium; font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>BUT, IT IS MY BABY.</b></span></span><br />
<img alt="Photobucket" border="0" src="http://i289.photobucket.com/albums/ll223/Phulespride/9eab0687.jpg" /><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>AND I AM IT'S WEIRD MOTHER.</b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><b> </b></span></span><img alt="" height="400" src="http://i289.photobucket.com/albums/ll223/Phulespride/58557603.jpg" title="" width="267" /><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>THIS IS ME. SORTA.</b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><b> </b></span></span><img alt="" src="http://i289.photobucket.com/albums/ll223/Phulespride/57c9e81d.jpg" title="" /><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">I'M JOSE.</span> </span></b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><b><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></b></span><img alt="" src="http://i289.photobucket.com/albums/ll223/Phulespride/ff39ff75.jpg" title="" /><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>I DO SPEND SOME TIME ON THE INTERNET</b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><b> </b></span></span><img alt="" src="http://i289.photobucket.com/albums/ll223/Phulespride/461151d6.jpg" title="" /><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">AMONG OTHER THINGS I AM A BLOGGER</span></b></span></span><img alt="" height="400" src="http://i289.photobucket.com/albums/ll223/Phulespride/b2510d74.jpg" title="" width="312" /><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I REALLY AM</span></b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;"> </span></b></span></span><img alt="" height="347" src="http://i289.photobucket.com/albums/ll223/Phulespride/2832f032.jpg" title="" width="400" /><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>OK, I'M NOT A GREAT BLOGGER</b></span></span><img alt="" height="294" src="http://i289.photobucket.com/albums/ll223/Phulespride/b0a7257b.jpg" title="" width="400" /><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>BUT I KEEP TRYING</b></span></span><img alt="" height="640" src="http://i289.photobucket.com/albums/ll223/Phulespride/790b87a9.jpg" title="" width="411" /><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>BUT I CAN BE FOUND ALL OVER THE PLACE</b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><b> </b></span></span><img alt="" height="400" src="http://i289.photobucket.com/albums/ll223/Phulespride/580d1741.jpg" title="" width="256" /><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>FOR EXAMPLE I CAN BE FOUND ON</b></span><br />
<b><span style="font-size: x-large;"><a href="http://www.facebook.com/people/Jose-Acosta/1828574689" target="_blank">FACEBOOK</a></span></b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;"> </span></b></span><img alt="" height="400" src="http://i289.photobucket.com/albums/ll223/Phulespride/spider_jerusalem.jpg" title="" width="307" /><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br />
<b><span style="font-size: x-large;">AND ON<br />
<a href="http://twitter.com/coaceisme" target="_blank">TWITTER</a></span></b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;"> </span></b></span><img alt="" height="400" src="http://i289.photobucket.com/albums/ll223/Phulespride/427b5713.jpg" title="" width="310" /><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>I ENJOY SPENDING TIME HERE<br />
<a href="http://www.watch-movies-online.tv/users/phulespride/" target="_blank">WATCH MOVIES ONLINE</a></b></span></span><img alt="" height="190" src="http://i289.photobucket.com/albums/ll223/Phulespride/109d46c2.jpg" title="" width="400" /><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br />
<b><span style="font-size: x-large;">AND WATCHING TV HERE<br />
<a href="http://www.hulu.com/profiles/thedirt_zero" target="_blank">HULU</a></span></b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;"> </span></b></span><img alt="" height="400" src="http://i289.photobucket.com/albums/ll223/Phulespride/3f2997ce.jpg" title="" width="322" /><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>THIS IS A GUILTY PLEASURE<br />
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/thedirtzero" target="_blank">YOUTUBE</a></b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><b> </b></span></span><img alt="" height="400" src="http://i289.photobucket.com/albums/ll223/Phulespride/2cc62bb2.jpg" title="" width="355" /><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br />
<b><span style="font-size: x-large;">AND THIS IS A PLACE I PUT PICTURES<br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">A NEW PICTURE EVERYDAY...</span><br />
<a href="http://coacevisual.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">PHOTOS</a></span></b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;"> </span></b></span><img alt="" height="155" src="http://i289.photobucket.com/albums/ll223/Phulespride/0b1325b5.jpg" title="" width="400" /><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;"><br />
AND THIS IS WHERE<br />
<a href="http://coacearchive.blogspot.com/">EVERYTHING I'VE EVER WRITTEN GOES</a></span></b><br />
<img height="292" src="http://i289.photobucket.com/albums/ll223/Phulespride/9877d89d.png" style="max-width: 800px;" width="400" /><br />
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: x-large;">SO WELCOME TO "MANUEL IN A DIGITAL WORLD."</span></b></span><img alt="" height="200" src="http://i289.photobucket.com/albums/ll223/Phulespride/718477e2.jpg" title="" width="400" /><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br />
<b><span style="font-size: x-large;">THIS IS MY BLOG.</span></b></span><span style="font-size: small;"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" height="206" src="http://i289.photobucket.com/albums/ll223/Phulespride/7ae6d4dc.jpg" width="400" /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>THIS IS WHERE I WRITE.<br />
</b></span></span>Jose_Sayshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17865112080288319711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-580002102136349035.post-81553977726190820582010-03-31T03:57:00.000-05:002010-04-01T01:53:15.159-05:00...AND MARCH COMES TO A CLOSEMARCH IN REVIEW...through facebook status updates<br />
<br />
<br />
Well hello and Good day to all my friends, cohorts and those undecided, today I'm smooth like a diaper...the same diaper that traps my nephews hind side emissions, which upon first sniff makes you think there's a present waiting but it's just a false alarm...an eye burning, gag reflex inducing false alarm.<br />
<br />
Just had a random thought...Most of you know that Kermit the Frog does a YAY! and then flails his arm...so would he be the original "fist pump"er?<br />
<br />
How to NOT build self esteem...<br />
MOM: Son, don't have children....<br />
ME: Huh? Where did that come from?....<br />
MOM: Promise me....<br />
Me: Why?....<br />
MOM: I don't want to have to explain your "stupid" genes, to yet another generation.<br />
<br />
Hello my friends, cohorts and those still undecided, Today I am smooth like Steven Seagal...Under Siege (the original and only the original) Steven Seagal NOT Steven Seagal: Lawman (the TV series) Steven Seagal.<br />
<br />
Awesome Quote of the Moment - "Just looked out the window and noticed the sky is blue. Scared me a little...then I remembered it's SUPPOSED to be that color. Been a while" Christopher Golden<br />
<br />
Awesome Quote of the Moment - "In this crazy topsy turvy world no one will give a hill of beans what my score was on Atari's Tempest...but it was dang high" Dan Christensen<br />
<br />
Awesome Quote of the Moment - "Dear LA Drivers, Not letting me into your lane doesn't mean u will get there faster. It means you're a douche. Love, Black Prius" Alyssa Milano<br />
<br />
Awesome Quote of the Moment - "Alright Brain, you don't like me, and I don't like you. But let's just do this, and I can get back to killing you with beer." Wil Wheaton<br />
<br />
Hello my friends, cohorts and those yet undecided...today I am smooth like 80's rock hair...sure it helped put a hole in the ozone layer...but you gotta admit them do's were just EPIC!!!<br />
<br />
Is it strange that I miss sitting around a table pretending to be an elf, while wolfing down cheap pizza, Jolt Cola and hoping to god that the orc doesn't kill me??<br />
<br />
You know you're getting old when people who are half your age can smoke legally...and have been able to for 6 months<br />
<br />
You know you're getting old when people who are half your age can purchase those magazines and videos your parents never wanted you to see...<br />
<br />
You know you are getting old when people who are half your age, you can legally date...esp when you can meet them in pubs...THANKS SYNDI<br />
<br />
The Soundtrack for tonight's misbehaving is The Devil You Know by Econoline Crush - http://www.myspace.com/econolinecrush<br />
<br />
Awesome Quote of the Moment - “What is kinky? Something with kinks or twists. Well that’s all of us, isn’t it? It’s just a matter of finding who fits with your kinks." Amber Peach<br />
<br />
"Awesome Quote of the Moment - "Everything in excess! To enjoy the flavor of life, take big bites. Moderation is for monks." Lazarus Long<br />
<br />
Hello my friends cohorts and those still undecided, Today I'm smooth like a cigarette smoking cat, What? Don't Judge Me! I didn't teach it!<br />
<br />
May your day be filled w/ the sounds of laughter, the promise of hope & blessed with friendships both new & old. Until our paths cross again<br />
<br />
You know you are getting old when your favorite song only gets played on the "classic rock" stations.<br />
<br />
You know you are getting old when you realize that the day you graduated high school, most of the kids graduating high school now were born<br />
<br />
You know you're getting old when you see a concert t-shirt from a show you went to, worn by someone who wasn't even born yet, looking brand new & they're not available in adult sizes<br />
<br />
You know you're getting old when you can remember buying albums and cassettes before the mandatory "Parental Advisory" stickers.<br />
<br />
You know you're getting old when you can remember buying albums and cassettes<br />
<br />
You know you're getting old when you can remember the last time a fashion trend was popular....thanks Michelle<br />
<br />
You know you're getting old when you hear the phrase "What do you wanna do with your life?" And the first answer that pops into your head is "I wanna rock!"<br />
<br />
You know you're an 80's child if you were ever afraid to eat Pop Rocks and drink Pepsi, fearing your stomach would burst from the reaction<br />
<br />
You know you're an 80's child if you fully understand the the significance and the need for 1.21 gigawatts of electricity<br />
<br />
You know you're an 80's child if you know who Meat Tuperello and where he's from.<br />
<br />
You know you're an 80's child if you know who Johnny 5 is...<br />
<br />
You know you're an 80's child if you know the significance of "$2.00 dollars, I want my $2.00 dollars"<br />
<br />
You know you're an 80's child if you associate Peter Gabriel with rain and boom boxes..<br />
<br />
You know you're an 80's child if you know not to touch what belongs to One Eyed Willie...<br />
<br />
Awesome Quote of the Moment - "I lost 20 pounds...How? I drank bear piss and took up fencing. How the fuck you think, son? I exercised." Justin Halpern's Dad<br />
<br />
You know you're an 80's child if you wondered what white bread with butter, Cap'n Crunch and Pixie Stix as a sandwich would taste like<br />
<br />
The soundtrack for tonight's festivities is Naveed by Our Lady Peace<br />
<br />
Awesome Quote of the Moment - "I Don't give a flyin **ck besides how would I If my arms were flappin?" Sally DElla<br />
<br />
Hello friends, cohorts & those undecided, Today I'm smooth like a Cherry Coke I mean a diet Cherry Coke, WAIT, an ice cold diet Cherry Coke,<br />
<br />
Hello friends, cohorts & those undecided, Today I'm smooth like the velvety tones of crooner Micheal Bolton's tender & emotional music, waiting for a punchline, huh? There isn't one, I happen to like Mr Bolton's music. I know, let the ridicule begin...<br />
<br />
Awesome Quote of the Moment - "Rush Limbaugh says if Health Care Reform passes, he's moving to Costa Rica. Isn't that reason enough to vote "yes?" Christopher Golden<br />
<br />
Awesome Quote of the Moment - "We live in such a strange world. We just love to put everyone into little boxes with labels on them. Gets us off." Amber Benson<br />
<br />
You know you had awful parents growing up...if they let you, drink from the hose as a kid.<br />
<br />
You know you had awful parents growing up...if you were "grounded outside" during the Summer.<br />
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You know you had awful parents growing up...if they let you ride your bike without a helmet, knee pads or elbow pads.<br />
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You know you had awful parents growing up...if you were more worried about coming home with ripped jeans then you were about the gash on your leg.<br />
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Awesome Quote of the Moment - "If you get out of the chase, you will never finish your journey much less win the race." Jim 'JR' Ross<br />
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Hello friends, cohorts & those undecided, Today I'm smooth like Watermelon Jolly Ranchers...because they are yummy...and when I say yummy I MEAN YUMMY!!!...<br />
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Awesome Quote of the Moment - "Oxygen is a privilege, not a right." Warren Ellis<br />
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Awesome Quote of the Moment - "HIDDEN roaming charges? Jesus, Sprint has 'fucking people' down to a science, like they practice it in a fucking lab on mice first." Justin Halpern's Dad<br />
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Awesome Quote of the Moment (if you're a wrestling fan) - "Just got back from the hospital my daughter suffered her 1st concusion ran head first into bday present bunk bed ladder.she is hardcore now" Tommy Dreamer<br />
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Awesome Quote of the Moment - "To absent friends, lost loves, old Gods, and the season of mists; and may each and every one of us always give the devil his due." Neil Gaiman<br />
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Awesome Quote of the Moment - "Dumbest thing I've seen all day: a Master lock on a plastic chain." Amber Benson<br />
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A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, 'Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!' After a few seconds, Little Larry stood up. The teacher said, 'Do you think you're stupid, Larry?' 'No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!'<br />
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Deep Thought of the Moment - I'm trying to figure out which is more unnerving, being remembered or being forgotten...<br />
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I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have the Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!!<br />
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I mean, when I was a kid, Child Protective Services didn't care if our parents beat us. As a matter of fact, the parents of all my friends also had permission to kick our ass! Nowhere was safe!<br />
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I mean, when I was a kid, there was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I'm saying? We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons<br />
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I mean, when I was a kid, there were no MP3's or Napsters or iTunes! If you wanted to steal music, you had to walk, ride a bike, get a ride to the record store and shoplift it yourself.<br />
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Awesome Quote of the Day - "If I say "he's a good friend" I mean: he can see me in the morning without make-up. Variations: he can see me in a bikini, no tan or playing video games" Elizabeth Banks<br />
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Cougartown is the best comedy on TV! That show is 15 shades of awesomeness and 10 shades of brilliant stuffed in an amazing comedic taco!!!!<br />
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Happy Cinqo de Mayo! errr I mean Arbor Day! oops I mean Happy Sweetest Day? wait is it Secretary's Day? Oh It's St. Patrick's\ Day...YAY!!!!<br />
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Awesome Quote of the Day - "I have slept with irish girls & been to ireland which makes me more irish than 99% of the fucks celebrating st paddys today" Warren Ellis<br />
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I am so tired of not being able to sleep like a normal person...this 2 hours at a crack is killing me...<br />
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Awesome Quote of the Moment - "Mmmm....Coffee - Ahhh....Doggie snuggles - Grrr....Medicine" Mickie James<br />
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Awesome Quote of the Moment - "Four wheelin' is always fun! But the guy at the car wash is gonna hate me." Kevin Fowler<br />
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Guide to changing your own life: Realize it’s possible, instead of telling yourself why you can’t.<br />
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Become aware of your self-talk. Squash negative thoughts like a bug. Replace them with positive thoughts.<br />
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Love what you have already. Be grateful for your life, your gifts, and other people. Every day.<br />
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Focus on what you have, not on what you haven’t. Don’t compare yourself to others. But be inspired by them.<br />
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Accept criticism with grace. But ignore the naysayers. See bad things as a blessing in disguise. See failure as a stepping stone to success.<br />
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Surround yourself by those who are positive. Complain less smile more. Image that you are already positive. Then become that person in your next act<br />
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Awesome Quote of the Moment - "I am manfully fighting the urge to unscrew people's heads and check inside their brain-caves for bad wiring" Warren Ellis.<br />
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Awesome Quote of the Moment - "You know I learned that my girlfriend monitors Twitter so I can't ask girlfriend advice here without paying for it." Dan Christensen<br />
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Sweet Baby Jesus why?? Didn't you suffer enough the first time around? Heck I try to ignore myself at least 4-5 times a day....Heh...Heh heh...<br />
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Awesome Quote of the Moment - "Ke$ha was atrocious on Idol this week. What a brutal season. Please comeback Obi Wan Kelambert-u are our only hope..." Chris Jericho<br />
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I have two open slots available...and for some reason that just sounds so dirty...<br />
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Yeah!!! What heather, kris and angel just said...Amen<br />
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Heh...I'm the Batman...but not the cool Adam West Batman...instead I'm the Christian Bale Batman...<br />
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Awesome Quote of the Moment - "Psst...Orlando Bloom is sitting at the table next to me at dinner...I feel like we are having dinner together...Except we're not..." Julie Benz<br />
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I saw 15 kids lined up at Wal-mart to get The Twilight movie that comes out at midnight...which is no big deal because these are the same kids who hang out at Wal-mart at midnight anyway...<br />
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Regarding Paramount remaking "The Monster Squad" - NOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Unless it's awesome. I mean Avatar/Serenity/Matrix/Lord of the Rings awesome. Otherwise HANDS OFF HOLLYWOOD!!!!!!<br />
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If we're 90% sure we did nothing wrong. Why do we spend so much energy worrying about the remaining 10%. It's like were wired to feel guilty<br />
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How petty & sensitive R we getting when a social network application can cause problems between the people who R supposed to be your friends<br />
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Awesome Quote of the Moment - "Everyone in life is gonna hurt you, you just have to figure out which people are worth the pain." Erica Baican<br />
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Bobby Hill is preaching against fornicating...LMAO<br />
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Hello cats and kittens...oh wait that's someone elses greeting...what I meant to say is...Hello friends and cohorts and those undecided today I'm smooth like a pick up line<br />
Me: Hello, Nice weather huh?<br />
Her: I'm a lesbian, I'm married, I have herpes, and you're ugly<br />
Me: huh?<br />
Her: Just covering all my bases<br />
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Awesome Quote of the Moment - “Celebrate your success and stand strong when adversity hits, for when the storm clouds come in, the eagles soar while the small birds take cover” Anonymous<br />
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Awesome Quote of the Moment - "And I thought, wow Nordstrom has really gone down hill. Then I realized I was inside JCPenny." Emma Caulfeild<br />
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Hello friends and cohorts and those undecided today I'm smooth like..Sugar. Spice. And everything Nice.These were the ingredients chosen to create the perfect little boy. But Professor Utonium accidentally added an extra ingredient to the concoction... Chemical X. Thus the Powerpuff Boy were born! Using their ultra-superpowers Jose has dedicated his life to fighting crime and the forces of evil.<br />
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Hello my friends, cohorts and those still undecided, Today I am smooth....like yuletide bliss...only 9 more shopping months till Christmas...I like books and DVD's :D<br />
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It's official, my brain is for the most part useless, I had to dig out the yearbook to start putting names with faces...<br />
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Hey I'm mean...yeah...that means I can go put on my pleather jacket, and sing and dance like those bad apples from West Side story...cuz they were tough street hombres...Yeah I'll be a jet...all this because I can be mean today...<br />
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Awesome Quote of the moment - "Before I go to work. All you people out there you have permission to kick ass today.. no need to take names just kick ass." Dan Christensen<br />
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Greetings my friends, cohorts and those still undecided, today I'm smooth...like a Ken Doll...and it's also embarrassing knowing that doll is hung better than I am...:( Heh<br />
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Awesome Quote of the Moment - "I REFUSE to see negativity...lets all do it and conquer! World is gettin scary enough without us adding negativity to it!" Torrie Wilson<br />
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Here's a thought for you...if you were a dessert what would you be?? (do you think we can keep this at least PG rated...thanks)<br />
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Hola amigos please click-o on the elite-o guard-o so we can go and kick-o some mucho butt-o... Thanks<br />
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I'm the one with the girlie hand gesture...*reaching into wallet and taking out man card* useless piece of crap, have to keep giving it away, because of stupid man card rules...<br />
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Hello friends, cohorts and those still undecided. Today I am smooth like a cue ball...and they itch!!! Stupid razor burn!!! Stupid little razor bumps!!! AHHHHHHHH!!!<br />
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I am not a smart man...nor am I a wise man...isn't having a Spy Museum counterproductive to their profession?????<br />
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I have come to the conclusion that I have the coolest friends on the planet!!! Thank You people for making this place not only tolerable but a joy to be in it!!!!<br />
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How many of you really know all of the people on your friend list? I mean personally know? Here's a task for you. I want all of the people on my list to post how they met me. After you have completed this, re-post this in your status box. You will be amazed at what you read...Jose_Sayshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17865112080288319711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-580002102136349035.post-46370172405176915622010-03-30T03:08:00.000-05:002010-03-30T03:08:38.592-05:00POEMA NAM GLORIAI wish you could see, the vision that stands before me.<br />
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I wish you could see her through my eyes.<br />
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I wish you could see what I see.<br />
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That you could feel the comfort and peace she creates, just by being near.<br />
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Then you could see her unyielding strength.<br />
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When the world, puts more and more on your shoulders,<br />
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you may stumble, but keep on fighting to stand erect.<br />
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You could see her as she continues to move forward.<br />
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No matter how many obstacles are thrown at your feet.<br />
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No matter how many people try to trip you up and drag you down,<br />
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You keep fighting for every step.<br />
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When you smile, it comes with such a brilliance, it chases the darkness away.<br />
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When you laugh, it's infectious and intoxicating, it's pure and genuine.<br />
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And those who share in it, can feel the joy straight to their soul.<br />
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You would be able to see the heart you wear on your sleeve.<br />
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Filled with love and with pain.<br />
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Overflowing with joy and with sadness.<br />
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You could look into your own eyes and you could see how you look at me.<br />
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You could feel how you make me feel and you make me feel beautiful.<br />
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And you could feel how scary it is.<br />
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When someone can look at you the way you've never looked at yourself.<br />
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You could see how I see you.<br />
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Then you could see the vision that stands before me.<br />
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I wish you could see, the vision that stands before me.Jose_Sayshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17865112080288319711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-580002102136349035.post-2984870968107061802010-03-29T07:12:00.000-05:002010-03-30T03:08:19.634-05:00DISAPPOINTMENT 3 - IT'S NOT EASY BEING ORANGEORIGINALLY POSTED 7/17/08 <br />
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The following year, a friend was going to celebrate his birthday and he didn't know where he wanted to go. Another friend suggested Hooters of course this was the hands down favorite among the guys.<br />
<br />
I had never been to a Hooters and neither had the birthday boy. He hemmed and hawed about not wanting to be surrounded by strippers (which of course made me to gasp out in surprise, 'who DOESN'T want to be surrounded by strippers?' I remembered the Dino episodes, of course, but I kept those horror stories to myself.). Being one of the more vocal member of of our particular little clan of "party animals" (said with more sarcasm than Hollywood has silicone), I talked it up like I was seasoned pro and, finally convinced him that into having his celebration among the buxom beauties in orange by saying I would pay for him.<br />
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His birthday was two weeks away. That means I had less than 14 days to actually go there, so I could act the part of the above mentioned season pro.<br />
<br />
I was caught in my web of deceit (who didn't see THAT coming?). Since I had never been to a Hooters, I needed someone to go there with. I couldn't ask the "party animals" because they had all been there when I said how awesome it was, and to ask them would expose me to ridicule. I know it would have been deserved, but like most men, I just didn't want to hear about it.<br />
<br />
I convinced my friend Mike to come with me. Yes, the same Mike from the Cheetahs debacle. Because he was a long time friend, I told him about my predicament. He agreed to go, but I had to pay for him.<br />
<br />
Which basically means I was committed to treating two people, to a place I have never been to and not knowing what to expect.<br />
<br />
That weekend, Mike and I headed to Hooters.<br />
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Upon entering, I was greeted with all of these pictures and posters of all these lovely and "blessed" women garbed in tight white t-shirts and orange shorts.<br />
<br />
OOOH! AHHH!<br />
<br />
ENTER THE HOSTESS<br />
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I did not notice the Hostess. There was a young girl wearing a white polo shirt who stood by the inside door though.<br />
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During this moment in time I was 26-27 years old, and this girl looked like she was 16, so I took her for the busboy...ahh I mean busgirl. When she asked us "How many in your party?" I was a bit stunned. Mike answered "Just us, and we would like smoking."<br />
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She said "Well follow me."<br />
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I asked her "Umm, just how old are you?"<br />
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She replied "I just turned 18."<br />
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"Oh OK." That was all I could say.<br />
<br />
Let me explain why anything ending in "teen" unnerves me so much.<br />
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For the first 12 1/2 years of my existence I was an only child. Except for every other weekend. That's when my step-brother would stay with us, but I really don't count that. At age 12 1/2 my sister came into the world.<br />
<br />
Now if we fast forward the years when I am 26-27 years old my baby sister would be 14-15 years old. Which makes 18 years old look awful young.<br />
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INTERMISSION<br />
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This age discrepancy has ruined a whole lot of things for me. Like Playboy. It's so disturbing to see girls who are the same age or younger than my baby sister, displayed for the whole world to see. It makes me feel like a "perverted old man." When Smallville started some of the "party animals" made comments about Allison Mack and Kristen Kreuk (both 19 years old at the time playing the part of a 16 year olds), being so "HOT!" and it just creeped me out.<br />
<br />
END OF INTERMISSION<br />
<br />
So the youngling sat us and after a few minutes our waitress approached the table.<br />
<br />
Here was yet another "teen."<br />
<br />
We ordered a pitcher of beer, a burger for yours truly, and Mike had the hot wings.<br />
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As I looked around I noticed a small trend. None of the girls here looked like slightly more mature women in the photos from the lobby. Most of them would definitely fit into the "awww isn't she cute" (said in the tone normally reserved for puppies and small children) category.<br />
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I looked at the patrons of the restaurant leering and gawking and thought to myself "Yes sir God, we are all going to hell, and I'll lead the way."<br />
<br />
Our food arrived very quickly, which was a god thing because the faster we ate, the faster we could get out of there.<br />
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The food was OK. Nothing at all to brag about.<br />
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I just wanted to get out of there as soon as possible. I felt like a dirty old man.<br />
<br />
Knowing I would be back in a week, made me feel even dirtier.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
NEXT - DISAPPOINTMENT 3 - IT'S NOT EASY BEING ORANGE pt 2Jose_Sayshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17865112080288319711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-580002102136349035.post-91979436838667307642010-03-28T07:05:00.004-05:002010-03-30T03:08:19.639-05:00DISAPPOINTMENT 2 - THE FINAL SPOT-LITEORIGINALLY POSTED 7/13/08 <br />
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A few years after the "Belly and the Bottle" incident at the Spot, I decided to see if things had changed at all.<br />
<br />
Yes, I am a glutton for punishment.<br />
<br />
No, I am not a fast learner.<br />
<br />
I asked my girlfriend at the time (after this I will refer to her as "the ex") if she wanted to go with me. She completely surprised me by saying "Why not. This way I can see what the big deal with strip clubs is all about."<br />
<br />
We went to the Spot, but somethings had changed.<br />
<br />
The place had been bought, remodeled, renamed and the talent had been upgraded. I was shocked, to say the least.<br />
<br />
The Spot-lite had been turned into a pretty decent establishment. It was clean. I forgot to mention previously that hygiene and cleanliness was not that big on the Spot's list of must do activities. It actually had a stage, well it was more of a riser but, still technically a stage. The bar itself was a separate entity, where the fear of getting a stripper heel in your drink or knocking over an ash tray was no longer a concern<br />
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It had about 75 or so patrons of all legal age groups.<br />
<br />
There were nine dancers and not a single scar or "belly covering thong" was present. They were all attractive and could actually dance.<br />
<br />
The two bartenders were both young and very good at their trade. Which means I did not have to wait for a single drink. I was thinking "Well alright. My bad strip club mojo has finally ended." (Ironically, the next strip club I would go to would end up to be, and still is, my favorite place for my 3B's. Boobies, beers, and burgers.)<br />
<br />
The ex and I find a seat at the bar with a good view of the stage, when one of the dancers comes over and starts talking to us.<br />
<br />
Besides one of the bartenders and the exotic dancers, the ex was the only female in there. I jokingly said, "You're the only girl in here not getting paid." The ex did not find that funny, but I was giggling like a ten year old who hears the teacher say penis.<br />
<br />
The dancer asked us the usual questions that dancers ask as they non-verbally demand their tip.<br />
<br />
Her - "How are you guys doing?"<br />
<br />
Me - "I'm good and yourself?" I learned from my B & B Adventure with Mike that being polite and using manners is always a good way to start a conversation with a half nekkid lady that you just met.<br />
<br />
The ex - "Fine."<br />
<br />
Her - "Did/are you enjoying the show?"<br />
<br />
Me - "We walked in at the tail end of your routine, so we didn't really catch it." I learned from Dino, that if you say that to the dancer, it's a "get out of tipping" comment. Usually reserved for the ones who did not put on a good performance, or if you REALLY did just walk in.<br />
<br />
The ex - "Sorry, I was to busy looking for an open bar spot."<br />
<br />
Her - "Is this your first time here?"<br />
<br />
Me - "Well I was here when it was just the Spot, but the place looks great now." I learned from Dino, always compliment the establishment. You never know if you'll be back, or if you'll run across the same dancer at another establishment.<br />
<br />
The ex - "Yes. I wanted to see what the big deal with strip clubs was."<br />
<br />
Her - "Well I'll be back on stage in about an hour, I hope you stick around."<br />
<br />
Me - "Well my calender is clear." Insert laugh here.<br />
<br />
The ex - "I guess."<br />
<br />
So we sat there, drinking our alcoholic beverages of choice and another dancer came around after her set to non-verbally demand her tip and, she pretty much asked the same questions with the exception of the "back on stage" comment.<br />
<br />
The answers stayed more or less the same.<br />
<br />
Next thing I know the first dancer sits next to the ex and starts talking to her. They are laughing and talking which results in yours truly able to enjoy the current performer on the stage.<br />
<br />
For some unknown reason I get this feeling, like something isn't kosher.<br />
<br />
The dancer and the ex are still deep in conversation. Yet my spider sense is tingling.<br />
<br />
The current dancer finishes her set, and does the walk around. She get's to the area where the ex, the first dancer, and I are sitting and she joins in their conversation.<br />
<br />
She gets her tip.<br />
<br />
Looks at me and goes "Hi."<br />
<br />
Me - "Hello. So are you having a good night?"<br />
<br />
Her 3 - "It's pretty good."<br />
<br />
SILENCE.<br />
<br />
I give her the tip.<br />
<br />
Her 3 - "Thank you."<br />
<br />
Me - "You're..."<br />
<br />
She walks to the next eager patron.<br />
<br />
Me - "welcome."<br />
<br />
That funny feeling I had before, is starting to become clear...so I wait and see if it happens again.<br />
<br />
Dancers 4, 6, and 8 all ask the usual questions.<br />
<br />
Dancers 5, 7, and 9 do not.<br />
<br />
I glance over at the ex and notice that she and dancer 1 are still talking.<br />
<br />
Then the light bulb finally illuminates those dark crevices of thought.<br />
<br />
The motions, the laughs, the hair twirling, the glancing touches, I know I have seen this all before. It's the things that girls who are flirting do.<br />
<br />
I wave the bartender over, order a drink and I casually ask him "So five of the dancers are lesbians aren't they?"<br />
<br />
Bartender - "Uh yeah, five of the girls ARE gay."<br />
<br />
Me - "The one talking to the ex is too, isn't she?"<br />
<br />
Bartender - "Yeah, she is." Insert bartender laugh.<br />
<br />
Her - "I gotta get ready for my set."<br />
<br />
The ex - "OK."<br />
<br />
Dancer 1 leaves.<br />
<br />
Me - "The ex, you do realize she's been flirting with you."<br />
<br />
The ex - "What?!"<br />
<br />
Me - "Ask the bartender."<br />
<br />
The ex - "Is she...?"<br />
<br />
Bartender - "Yeah" Insert bartender laugh...again "She is."<br />
<br />
And you can see the realization come across the ex's face.<br />
<br />
The ex - "Jose, we ARE leaving now."<br />
<br />
Me - "Umm OK."<br />
<br />
Why was there an "umm" moment? Because it dawned on me, that the ex was getting hit on, and I was chopped liver. The ex was getting real flirt action, while your unsung hero, wasn't even getting fake flirt action. Which is quite a massive blow to the frail male ego.<br />
<br />
I have never returned to the Spot/Spot-lite.<br />
<br />
NEXT DISAPPOINTMENT 3 - IT'S NOT EASY BEING ORANGEJose_Sayshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17865112080288319711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-580002102136349035.post-69115468909786049822010-03-27T06:58:00.002-05:002010-03-30T03:08:19.644-05:00DISAPPOINTMENT 2.1 AND DISAPPOINTMENT 2 - THE REVENGEORIGINALLY POSTED 7/12/08 <br />
<br />
A few years later (six to be precise) Dino would come to the land of Miller Beer, cheese heads and brats (the sausage not, the unruly kids) for a week in the summer. By then yours truly finally had some drinking and strip club experience under his belt and remembering the filthy little hovel that Dino had taken me to so many years earlier, I had devised a plan. Well, OK, it was more like revenge, but come the end of the day I knew he would get the joke. HEH!<br />
<br />
There was this place called The Spot, and it was a horrid little place, with overpriced beers (even by strip clubs standards) and lackluster performers (of the unattractive and out of shape sort). How did I find this place? Let me share this story.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">DISAPPOINTMENT 2.1</span><br />
<br />
My friend Mike was on leave from the army during Christmas and we decided to go to see some boobies. I only knew where one club was, so Mike decided to look in the phone book to see if there were others in the area.<br />
<br />
I did not know that strip clubs advertised in the phone book. For some reason I found that bit of information completely hilarious. As I am typing this I am still giggling about that.<br />
<br />
We ripped out the page that had the listings and went on this quest for beer and breasts. The first place we went to was a place called Heart Breakers. It was just like the Motley Crue's "Girls Girls Girls" video but it was so crowded that it took forever to get a beer. I am the kind of guy that if I have to wait for a beer, it's an automatic rejection from me.<br />
<br />
I know that there were breasts being shimmied and exposed but if I have to wait five minutes for a beer, well that's just unacceptable. After about an hour we went to the next place on our B & B Adventure.<br />
<br />
We arrived at a place called Cheetahs.<br />
<br />
There was this moment while we were walking through the Lincoln Town car and Cadillac filled parking lot that I had a feeling that this may not be such a wise decision. We approached this very nondescript building and all kinds of alarms were going off in my head, BUT I was committed. <br />
<br />
At the door, there was a list of rules. No Beepers, no fur, no sport caps, no guns/knives/brass knuckles (this one made me very VERY concerned), and no use of illegal drugs. I looked at Mike and he just shrugged his shoulders and said "How bad can it be?"<br />
<br />
We opened the door, and I honestly saw the biggest black man I have ever seen. And by biggest I meant 6'9" - 6'10" and had arms bigger than my thighs, without flexing. He looked at us...pulled out a hand held metal detector and proceeded to metal detect us. During this I was watching his arms get bigger and bigger. He saw me staring, grinned and made a muscle. He flexed his muscle and I kid you not, his arm doubled in size.<br />
<br />
He asked us if we were going to make any trouble and in that instant I remembered every bit of courtesy and good manners my mother had ever taught me and I honestly replied in a very meek voice "No sir, I promise you will get no problems from me." <br />
<br />
He laughed and said "Have a good time boys."<br />
<br />
In that same meek voice I said "Yes sir, anything you say."<br />
<br />
He laughed again, we paid the cover charge and he told us that they have a two drink minimum and then he opened the second door.<br />
<br />
Before I get to the actual experience inside this establishment, I have to describe Mike and myself during this time period. Mike was one of those guys who is very white, like Larry Byrd white, with a military haircut. More or less he looked pretty clean cut.<br />
<br />
I was still emulating Nikki Sixx. I was this Mexican with long ratty/spiky hair, hoop earrings, and black eyeliner.<br />
<br />
OK, you have those images in your head? Good.<br />
<br />
Mike and I walked in the second door. Where I was witness to another dive, and a dive whose entire clientèle, employees and dancers were all African Americans.<br />
<br />
Mike was leading the way, and they gave him this cursory glance, but when their peepers got a hold of me, the glaring and dirty looks commenced immediately and would continue for the 35 minutes we were there. I was the one who was on the receiving end of the cold (as in iceberg cold) and unwelcome glares. Needless to say I had never finished the 2 drink minimum in under five minutes before that particular evening. That night I also found out I had the super human ability to have 6 beers and 4 or 5 shots in 35 minutes. Not even the dancers came by me. The only person who treated me somewhat decently was the bartender.<br />
<br />
35 minutes came and went and we we're on our way.<br />
<br />
Next we went to The Spot. I was in there for a couple of minutes and I had flashbacks to my Juarez experience, and I thought to myself if Dino ever comes up to visit I'm bringing him here. (I'll be going into details about this establishment during the "REVENGE" portion of this blog)<br />
<br />
The night ended there, thankfully. I didn't know how many more disappointing strip clubs I could endure.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">DISAPPOINTMENT 2 - THE REVENGE</span><br />
<br />
Six or so months later, Dino was here. I suggested we should go out for drinks, and that I had found this awesome place he would just absolutely love. Since Dino and I are very alike, he wholeheartedly agreed. I again did my Nikki Sixx emulation process, and Dino did his "going out" getup which is best described as part Guido and part Goth.<br />
<br />
We got there around 9 P.M. which for strip clubs is usually the time when it starts to get busy.<br />
<br />
The Spot was hopping. When we walked in we doubled the clientele. There were these two old guys who were playing cards with the bartender who looked like Crazy Cooter from the Dukes of Hazzard but nowhere near as friendly.<br />
<br />
We both take a seat at the bar just as one of the the dancers hits the stage.<br />
<br />
The stage was a piece of construction beauty. It was a part of the bar with extensions to make it about 6' by 9' with a pole in the middle. The bar was one of those oblong things, so when a dancer is done with her routine, she actually walks around to collect tips on the bar itself.<br />
<br />
The performer was sheer magic. She had a beer belly. Not the cute little belly that some girls have. It was the kind that actually hid part of her thong. She also had some less than flattering scars and an unfinished and faded belly tattoo that was supposed to be a unicorn, but now kind of looked like a bull (I know this because I asked her).<br />
<br />
After her routine, she did the bar walk.<br />
<br />
She got to where Dino and I were sitting and she took an immediate liking to Dino. She was flirting and making small talk with my cousin.<br />
<br />
She asked him where he was from.<br />
<br />
He said Dallas.<br />
<br />
She said (and folks I can't make this up) "So where's that? Is it in Wisconsin?"<br />
<br />
I started laughing, and Dino had this incredulous look on his face.<br />
<br />
He said "No, it's in Texas."<br />
<br />
She said "Wow, there's a Dallas WI, and a Dallas TX, that's incredible." Then she picked up his bottle of beer, licks the bottle seductively, places it in between her breasts (while resting it on the previously mentioned beer belly) starts dancing with it, let's go of her breasts and shimmies and shakes with this "licked" beer bottle resting on her belly.<br />
<br />
I tip her for her hard work, and Dino just sits there watching her as she puts his beer back down on the bar. He tips her. She walks around the bar and looks back at Dino and blows him a kiss. Afterwards she walks into the back room.<br />
<br />
My cousin immediately pulls out his wallet, puts a buck on the bar and tells me "We're getting the fuck out of her...RIGHT NOW!!"<br />
<br />
I ask why he's not finishing his beer. He physically shudders and just walks out the door.<br />
<br />
I bust out laughing and follow him out.<br />
<br />
He asks me "Why the hell did you bring me here?"<br />
<br />
"Do you remember the place you took me to in Juarez? Consider this payback. Which makes us even."<br />
<br />
He just stares at me, then punches me in the sternum, starts laughing and says "You're right, we are so even."<br />
<br />
Yes, it's true folks, sometimes revenge is best when it served cold. Or at least when it's served by a scary looking chick, who licks bottles. Heh.Jose_Sayshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17865112080288319711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-580002102136349035.post-17829298034479246382010-03-26T04:11:00.000-05:002010-03-30T03:08:19.649-05:00DISAPPOINTMENT 2<span style="font-style: italic;"> </span>ORIGINALY POSTED 6/29/08<br />
<br />
<span style="font-style: italic;">In my previous blog I just totally flaked out. The closing paragraph read as such...</span><br style="font-style: italic;" /><br style="font-style: italic;" /><span style="font-style: italic;">"Later that year my cousin would take me to Hooters and to Juarez, Mexico. Where again disappointment would rear it's ugly head. But that's a story for later."</span><br style="font-style: italic;" /><br style="font-style: italic;" /><span style="font-style: italic;">Yet, this is how it was supposed to read:</span><br />
<br style="font-style: italic;" /><span style="font-style: italic;">"Later that year my cousin would take me to Juarez, Mexico, where again disappointment would rear it's ugly head, and the tale of my first time at Hooters. But that story comes later.</span><br style="font-style: italic;" /><br style="font-style: italic;" /><span style="font-style: italic;">Sorry for the confusion.<br />
<br />
I guess one could safely say that I can't proofread for crap. Anybody know any proofreaders and/or editors who would be willing to see me slaughter the English language, and then try and help me fix it? Volunteers and people who work for cheap (Free) just message me...thanks.</span>(Yeah this is actually kind of serious)<br style="font-style: italic;" /><br style="font-style: italic;" /><span style="font-style: italic;">Since that particular snafu is cleared up, let's continue down the highway that leads to Disappointment 2...</span><br />
<br />
<br />
Later that year the family and I headed down to El Paso, TX for a summer vacation.<br />
<br />
Because heading down to Texas in the middle of summer is always a brilliant EFFIN idea.<br />
<br />
I guess waiting for spring, late fall or even winter was completely out of the question. Instead we went down in the middle of summer. Which is akin to standing in the path of a "Flaming Broccoli Fart Coming From The Bowels Of Hell!!!"<br />
<br />
My cousin Emilio (Emmy) had all these things planned out that we would be doing as a family and as house guests.<br />
<br />
My cousin Dino, of course, had other plans.<br />
<br />
Dino, who is three years old than yours truly, has always had a bit of a wild streak in him. This encounter would be no different.<br />
<br />
But I am getting way ahead of myself. First I have to tell you about the trip itself.<br />
<br />
We drove to El Paso, TX from Waukesha, WI.<br />
<br />
"We" consisted of mom, step-dad, step-bro, half sister (who was still small and young enough to require a car seat) and of course, your unsung hero...Me!<br />
<br />
We would travel by Pontiac Phoenix.<br />
<br />
A Pontiac Phoenix, that's what 5 people endured a cross country trek in.<br />
<br />
A Pontiac Phoenix who during the course of this trip, we needed to get a tire, because the retread was falling apart, before we even got out of IL.<br />
<br />
A Pontiac Phoenix who decided that this would be the most opportune time to have the air conditioner malfunction to the point of needing to be replaced.<br />
<br />
A Pontiac Phoenix who decided on the return trip, that this would be an opportune moment to have the "replaced" air conditioner caused the car to over heat...3 times.<br />
<br />
If it wasn't for the portable cassette player I brought along, I would have killed someone.<br />
<br />
If Poison, Whitesnake, Ratt and Motley Crue had not been on this trip, there would have been a headline somewhere that said "Teenager Kills Family - Blames it on "The M****R F*****G air conditioner!"<br />
<br />
The 1500+ mile (straight) venture into what was quickly becoming my very own personal hell. Then we arrived in El Paso.<br />
<br />
INTERMISSION<br />
If it wasn't the car working against us, Mother Nature decided to join in the fun. Amid downpours that caused us to cease all forward movement and coyote's doing suicide sprints across the interstate, some higher power did NOT want us to get to El Paso.<br />
END OF INTERMISSION<br />
<br />
We would be spending the week at my aunt's home.<br />
<br />
As I previously mentioned Emmy would be our tour guide/host for the week.<br />
<br />
Emmy was already there with his wife when the Phoenix limped in from it's ordeal on the Highways and Interstates of America.<br />
<br />
Dino showed up roughly 2 hours later.<br />
<br />
Emmy and step-dad took the car to the garage so that the repairs could be made.<br />
<br />
Step-bro and I decided to jump into the pool to get rid of the "Been in a car too long" funk and mom, aunt and sis were in air conditioned splendor.<br />
<br />
After a few hours Emmy and step-dad returned and the Phoenix with a new AC and 4 brand new tires.<br />
<br />
Emmy informed us that we were going to go to Carlsbad Caverns the next day.<br />
<br />
(yay...another 150+ miles in that damn car...effin...yay).<br />
<br />
Dino asked me if I wanted to hang with him and one of his buds.<br />
<br />
16 year old kid asked to hang out with two19 year olds... I SAID OOOOH HELL YEAH!!!!<br />
<br />
Mom heard him ask me, and she volunteered the Phoenix to be the party car (albeit, she did not know it would be a party car).<br />
<br />
Oh F**K, I can spend MORE time in THAT car.<br />
<br />
About an hour or so and we were on our way OUT.<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">MY FORAY INTO THE SEEDY UNDERWORLD OF FAKE ID'S</span></span><br />
<br />
On our way to pick up his friend, we stopped at a gas station, filled up with gas, I bought cigarettes (heh), and Dino gave me his fake ID. He was going to be using his real one. He told me not to let the bouncers look too long at it or they'd realize there were two IDs for the same person, his and mine.<br />
<br />
Dino looked at me and said, "Manny, were going Juarez, to hit a few bars. Drinking age there is 18. But don't do anything stupid and when we get home, don't tell your parents."<br />
<br />
Being the cool as ice future rock star I said, "OK!! Boy that sure does sound like fun!" with a huge grin on my face. See how smooth I was...<br />
<br />
Of course, to get ready for drinking, we needed "a base."<br />
<br />
I had no idea what that meant, luckily Dino was there to explain the inner workings of bar hopping.<br />
<br />
We headed to Whataburger where we got something to eat, which for the record really, REALLY sucked. "Base food doesn't need to be good, it just needs to be filling, that's why were eating an hour and a half before we hit the bars. That way you won't get drunk as fast." Made sense to me...I had no clue what he was talking about, but he was buying dinner and I was cool with that.<br />
<br />
We picked up his buddy, got some cash and headed to Juarez, Mexico.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">CUE THE MARIACHI MUSIC!!!</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">MY FORAY INTO THE SEEDY WORLD OF MEXICAN BARS</span></span><br />
<br />
The first bar we went to was called Porky's..<br />
<br />
Really.<br />
<br />
No, I'm not kidding. It really was called Porky's.<br />
<br />
This is the first beer I ever drank in a bar. OK, not a fan of Meeler Liiite.<br />
<br />
It's 2/3rds gone, and I don't care, this is the best beer I ever had. I like beer. And look, the goofy grin makes it's appearence.<br />
<br />
After an hour or so, Dino looked at me and smiled, really, really big...think Cheshire cat...then think rabid wombat. "We're taking him." is all Dino said. His bud, started grinning and heartily agreed.<br />
<br />
We left Porky's and headed down the street. We went a couple of blocks and we stopped in front of a non-descript building, and we walked in.<br />
<br />
My eyes got huge; the goofy grin makes it's 3rd appeaence of the night. From the doorway, I could see a girl dancing and she appeared...yes, she was topless, and starting to work on the bottoms. I was a happy boy.<br />
<br />
I was completely enveloped in newfound HAPPINESS.<br />
<br />
The bartender headed over to ask us for our ID's. He took one good look at me and told Dino, that all my drinks were double priced. I guess he must have some kind of amazing mental ability to see past my mature exterior and surmised that I might be falsely representing my age.<br />
<br />
Dino looked at me and said "Will you please wipe that goofy grin of your face. He's letting us stay but your drinks are double price.<br />
<br />
COOL!!!<br />
<br />
He asked us for our drink order and I was about to have my 4th beer of the night.<br />
<br />
Before I go any further, I need to describe the current situation. The bartender looked just like Danny Trejo except with a beer gut. He had all the tattoos, was shirtless, and wearing sunglasses. And looked like he could really do some damage to a person. Dino ordered us three beers. I was awfully scared of this guy. <br />
<br />
My newfound happiness was beginning to wane.<br />
<br />
With Dino leading the way, we started to approach the stage where the now completely naked woman was dancing away.<br />
<br />
Then closer we got to the stage the more my newfound happiness was becoming memory.<br />
<br />
I'm not saying the girl were unattractive, but WELL...SHE WAS UNATTRACTIVE.<br />
<br />
Suddenly Dino started laughing uncontrollably and pointed across the room. Parked by the door to the strippers' dressing room was a stroller (thank God the baby wasn't in it, but the diaper bag was hanging on the handle). We all started laughing uncontrollably until a new dancer came out with obvious signs that her breasts had just been used for the primary purpose that breasts were designed for...<br />
<br />
and there went the last kernel of newfound happiness.<br />
<br />
This day I learned that not all strip clubs looked like the kind you see in '80s T&A movies.<br />
<br />
But some will look like the ones in '70s T&A movies where they go to Tijuana and expect to see a donkey show.<br />
<br />
For the next 3 hours we watched nakedness go from bad to worse.<br />
<br />
After that, anywhere was an improvement. We headed to the our last bar of this trip. It was OK, except for a couple who were all over each other. They had their tongues jammed down each other's throats. I could deal with that. Then they pulled back, with their tongues imitating two snakes frolicking and undulating. At this point in my beer haze it made me throw up a little bit in my mouth. Afterwards, we went to Jack in the Box and got food. It did not sit well in my tummy after a bunch of beers, the sad strip bar and the dancing snake show.<br />
<br />
NEXT: "DISAPPOINTMENT 2 - THE REVENGE"Jose_Sayshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17865112080288319711noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-580002102136349035.post-85860413452579186502010-03-25T04:30:00.000-05:002010-03-30T03:08:19.654-05:00DISAPPOINTMENT ORIGINALLY POSTED 6/28/2008<br />
<br />
When I was much younger (and Spanish was my main language) there was a restaurant that we passed quite often. Whenever we did, I would begin to giggle.<br />
<br />
It was a Tex-Mex restaurant named Chi Chi-s.<br />
<br />
Why did this make me giggle?<br />
<br />
I guess before I can continue, I need to give a tiny little language lesson. In Spanish the word chi chi's is a slang term meaning boobies. Which is one of my favorite English words...I'm just saying is all.<br />
<br />
Because of this auspicious name, this building became a place of great interest and importance.<br />
<br />
<br />
Now we fast forward our tale to 1988 and I was 16 years old.<br />
<br />
A friend named Chris regaled to me a wonderful tidbit of information. "Jose" he said "last night we went to Chi Chi's for dinner and it was awesome the f..."<br />
<br />
Trying to contain my excitement, I asked if they allowed teens in there? (Of course in hindsight...)<br />
<br />
"Yeah, why wouldn't they?" That's right Chris, keep me in suspense...<br />
<br />
"Dude we are going right now!" As I proceeded to drag him to his car.<br />
<br />
Chris was looking at me like I was insane, "Dude, are you OK?"<br />
<br />
"Yeah man, I AWESOME...so let's get going!"<br />
<br />
With an ounce of trepidation he said OK, and then we were off.<br />
<br />
I was stoked.<br />
<br />
I was finally going to the promised land.<br />
<br />
I was ready for this moment.<br />
<br />
I was finally at the restaurant called boobies. Or Chi-chi's to my American friends.<br />
<br />
We walked in and I immediately began my search. I looked near and far.<br />
<br />
HUH?<br />
<br />
I looked at Chris "Dude? Umm, where are the girls?"<br />
<br />
Chris stared at me, confusion evident in his eyes.<br />
<br />
The hostess sat us by the windows.<br />
<br />
"Um Chris, there are girls here right?" as I began to notice that there were people of all types sitting at tables and in booths. Eating something that resembled Mexican food.<br />
<br />
Some guy asked what we wanted to drink. Chris and I asked for a Coke.<br />
<br />
I looked at the menu.<br />
<br />
I looked at Chris, and asked him, "Why is this place awesome?"<br />
<br />
"Huh?"<br />
<br />
"Earlier you said 'Jose last night we went to Chi Chi's for dinner and it was awesome the f..' what makes this place awesome?"<br />
<br />
"They have the best Mexican food in town."<br />
<br />
"WHAT?!?!"<br />
<br />
"Yeah the food here is great!"<br />
<br />
That's when the disappointment sunk in.<br />
<br />
Chris asked me what was wrong?<br />
<br />
I told Chris what chi chi's meant in Spanish, and he laughed.<br />
<br />
And laughed.<br />
<br />
And Laughed.<br />
<br />
"Well that sure explains why you freaked out when I said I was here."<br />
<br />
Meekly I responded with a barely audible "yeah"<br />
<br />
He laughed a little while longer.<br />
<br />
After catching his breath he says "Well let's order our food, you'll love it."<br />
<br />
When the food arrived disappointment number two hit me. The food absolutely sucked.<br />
<br />
Chris was in hog heaven, but when you get homemade Mexican food on a semi regular basis, restaurant food always falls a bit shy.<br />
<br />
So we ate.<br />
<br />
Then we paid.<br />
<br />
Then we left.<br />
<br />
I silently vowed that I would never again would I fall for a name like that again.<br />
<br />
Later that year my cousin would take me to Hooters and to Juarez, Mexico. Where again disappointment would rear it's ugly head. But that's a story for later.Jose_Sayshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17865112080288319711noreply@blogger.com0