MY FAMILY and PEOPLE WHO ANNOY ME

Oh good, I'm still here. Hard to believe that another Turkey Day with relatives you don't like, kids who won't eat, and nothing on TV but football and parades, has passed on by, and I survived. I have to add this. At a family get together, function or reunion, you usually put on the fake smile and wish one and all a happy whatever it is, because you choose to. You hug the aunt with the halitosis that would make Satan weep because you choose to. You agree with everything you're overbearing cousins have to say even when they say the moon is made of blue cheese because you choose too. You put up with your siblings significant others retarded jokes and useless advice because you choose too. You do all this because you choose too. If you didn't, than you wouldn't have gone.

It’s the unwritten rule of family functions. You came because you wanted to, not because you had to. That is unless you're dragging your kids along only because it was the same hell your parents put you through, and it is your job as a parent to do the same to them.

Now you may think 'so what, we all go through that, what makes you so special?' Well let me tell you.....nothing, nothing at all.

If I wasn't annoyed at a family function, than I would have been annoyed with strangers, like standing behind the one person in the world who still has no clue how to use an ATM.

See, its not that I hate everyone, you just all annoy me. I'm ok with that because I probably annoy you too. Let's some time on the people that annoy me. Sadly, this is an ever growing list and won't ever be complete. Everyday there's another dumb mother fucker born, which means there's another chance some fucktard will annoy me. But alas I am digressing.

Being in the express lane (you know, the 10 items or less lane) with the one person who can count to 30 but somehow misses the number 10 in the process?

Those "truth" commercials, because obviously all smokers have no clue that smoking causes cancer. Let me shed a little light on this. It's not that we don't believe smoking causes cancer, we do! It’s just that we don't believe it'll happen to us. That’s the real truth. We aren't dumb or stupid. We just live in denial. So when I'm outside smoking, because I'm not allowed to smoke inside and someone gives me that dirty look for smoking outside...well all I'll can tell you is this, I didn't go out of my way to talk to you because apparently I don't and didn't find you that interesting...SO LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!

People who constantly chew, with their mouths open are on that list. Come on already! Manners costs nothing, but keep that up and it'll cost you my boot in your ass.

People who still ask "does this make me look fat?" If you're asking it probably does. But in direct conflict to my own statement, if you feel good wearing it, and you like the way you look, who cares what someone like me says.

As a matter of fact that goes out to anyone and everyone. If you are reading this, take what I say as an editorial on the things I see. Some days things may be the most annoying thing ever and on other days I won't have an issue. I'm just going on a day to day viewpoint.

So do it if you want or don't. I mean someone out there just got fed up with me as I got tired of someone else. That’s life, deal with it.

I do. I just happen to dwell on it long enough to think if I should write about it. Is this going to be a funny anecdote or a serious prose. Will this be a rant or a rave? Should I even be thinking this much about it? That's how I deal with it.

HELLO...JUST BORED

Yes, I am bored. It happens now and then. You can have the most adventurous life filled with mystery and intrigue, and every once in a while, you'll have a “bored” moment. So that's what I'm having right now.

I'm also having a “blank and empty mind” moment. Which basically translates to, when I have a deep thought or real need to write I'm usually too busy or too far from a computer. But when I set aside some time and have some privacy, that's when I'm hit with my “blank and empty mind” moment.

So since I really don't have anything to say other than that, I guess I'll go on to the next page. Who knew that you could actually waste some time and get out a couple of paragraphs talking about being bored and and blank.

I might actually have to rethink this writing thing I'm doing. I mean if I can pull this off I might have a career in advertising or politics. Isn't that the two career choices if you are a professional waste of time and space?

Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week: Spike can't bite Willow

Spike: I don't understand. This sort of thing has never happened to me before.
Willow: Maybe you were nervous.
Spike: I felt all right when it started. Well let's try it again.
[Spike tries to bite Willow and he backs off screaming in pain.] Spike: Damn it! What's wrong with me?
Willow: Maybe you're trying too hard. Doesn't this happen to every vampire?
Spike: Not to me it doesn't!
Willow: It's me isn't it?
Spike: What are you talking about?
Willow: Well you came here looking for Buffy, and settled. You didn't want to bite me, I just happened to be around.
Spike: Piffle!
Willow: I know I'm not the kind of girl vamps like to sink their teeth into. It's all ways, "ooo, you're like a sister to me," or "oh, we're such good friends."
Spike: Don't be ridiculous. I'd bite you in a heartbeat.
Willow: This doesn't make you anymore scary.
Spike: Don't patronize me. I'm only 126 years old!
Willow: You’re being too hard on yourself. Why we don't wait a half an hour and try again?

Lame quote time:
why is it that when you're wrong no one forgets but when you're right, no ones around?