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This makes me very sad.
Showing posts with label Vignettes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Vignettes. Show all posts
Aug 7, 2009
Aug 5, 2009
I'M BACK!
Yesterday, after watching the commercials for years...I finally went to a
.
...it was OK, although, Jeff was very happy with this choice. It seems that on this particular day, the young 'uns of the female persuasion were out in droves. I never realized how creepy
AND embarrassing it is to be around a 50+ year old who was checking the over 18 & under 25 years olds was.
...I finally saw the "G.I. Joe - The Rise of Cobra" movie trailer and the 12 year old in me got a woody!! Serious wood.
...when asked what I expected from the GI Joe the movie, this was the conversation
Me - "Stuff blowing up, lot of guns and Snake Eyes."
Them - "What about a good story?"
Me - "This isnt 'Schindlers List', it's a movie based on a cartoon, that was based off the toys about soldiers that had all these guns, yet no one was ever killed, and I don't recall anyone getting shot."
Them "So a good story in NOT important?"
Me - "If it has one, GREAT! If it doesn't, Great! It's like sex. Whether you have good sex or bad sex, you're still having sex. YOOOOOO JOOOOOOOE!!!"
...I was asked my opinion on the healthcare system, and here it is.
If the healthcare system was about helping people, that is what it would do. But It's not. It's about making money.
We have had people in charge of the money, bring America to it's knees. We have an oil industry that has a vice like grip on the wallets and purses of each and everyone of us. The companies that could create new jobs on American soil; instead they are closing factories and sending their products all over the world, where they can get the same product made for pennies on the dollar.
The government is not afraid nor does it respect it's citizens, the voices of the common man or woman will never be heard.
What the government does respect is money. The more money you give them, the more important you "idea" is, and right now the healthcare industry is just one really fat wallet, that spends millions of dollars in the political arena, so that it can continue to make billions of dollars off the people who's factories just shut down. Who can't afford to drive, and find a new job because the gas prices just went up. Of course during all this the bank is foreclosing on their home.
Sure, a reformed healthcare system is a nice idea and, at least in America, that's all it's going to be.
...I was then told I am long winded.
....it was OK, although, Jeff was very happy with this choice. It seems that on this particular day, the young 'uns of the female persuasion were out in droves. I never realized how creepy
AND embarrassing it is to be around a 50+ year old who was checking the over 18 & under 25 years olds was.
...I finally saw the "G.I. Joe - The Rise of Cobra" movie trailer and the 12 year old in me got a woody!! Serious wood.
...when asked what I expected from the GI Joe the movie, this was the conversation
Me - "Stuff blowing up, lot of guns and Snake Eyes."
Them - "What about a good story?"
Me - "This isnt 'Schindlers List', it's a movie based on a cartoon, that was based off the toys about soldiers that had all these guns, yet no one was ever killed, and I don't recall anyone getting shot."
Them "So a good story in NOT important?"
Me - "If it has one, GREAT! If it doesn't, Great! It's like sex. Whether you have good sex or bad sex, you're still having sex. YOOOOOO JOOOOOOOE!!!"
...I was asked my opinion on the healthcare system, and here it is.
If the healthcare system was about helping people, that is what it would do. But It's not. It's about making money.
We have had people in charge of the money, bring America to it's knees. We have an oil industry that has a vice like grip on the wallets and purses of each and everyone of us. The companies that could create new jobs on American soil; instead they are closing factories and sending their products all over the world, where they can get the same product made for pennies on the dollar.
The government is not afraid nor does it respect it's citizens, the voices of the common man or woman will never be heard.
What the government does respect is money. The more money you give them, the more important you "idea" is, and right now the healthcare industry is just one really fat wallet, that spends millions of dollars in the political arena, so that it can continue to make billions of dollars off the people who's factories just shut down. Who can't afford to drive, and find a new job because the gas prices just went up. Of course during all this the bank is foreclosing on their home.
Sure, a reformed healthcare system is a nice idea and, at least in America, that's all it's going to be.
...I was then told I am long winded.
|
WE'LL BRB
I am tired this morning
So I am going to sleep
I'll be back to write later
I didn't want you to think that I was being lazy
Be back after my sleep
So I am going to sleep
I'll be back to write later
I didn't want you to think that I was being lazy
Be back after my sleep
Aug 4, 2009
THAT SUMMER
If you haven't noticed Summer 2009 is almost over.
Some will complain, claiming that we didn't have a summer. That the weather was uncooperative, that we had that one hot week and that was it.
That's not the summer. Those are just moments in time when we felt inconvenienced. When we focused on the few things we had no control over, and we overlook all the marvelous things that did happen.
That my friends is "summer."
You want proof?
Everybody that got tans or sunburns from lying on the beach or swimming in a lake or pool too long raise your hands.
If one arm is darker than other, because you spent many a day driving with your arm hanging out the open car window, you can raise your arms too.
Or how about those of us who wear dark sunglasses so we can ooggle and ahhh at the opposite sex wearing next to nothing...oops, I mean to keep the glare from the sun from blinding us.
How about the screaming, laughing and sometimes crying of children who wait nine months just so they can do everything they planned to do over the summer and accomplish all of their goals in the first couple of weeks.
Then sit around and complain that they are bored.
The excitement you still get when you hear the happy music coming from that white truck that sells a little bit of heaven as a frozen treat. That now instead of being the one who begs for that dollar, you're the one handing it out.
Then there's the absolute joy of an ice-cold beer/soda/lemonade on that blistering hot day.
What about the memories of running through sprinklers and jumping into pools or lakes.
The summer brought thunderstorms that canceled our carefully laid out plans.
Cookouts, picnics and family gatherings where there good feelings, hurt feelings and moments that we'll never forget.
The summer brings beautifully colored explosions that fill the night skies and the awe and wonder that fills our thoughts.
It brings all the big budget movies, county fairs, state fairs, church festivals and the summer festivals.
For some we experience big moments of a change that are amazing, frightening and sometimes unwanted. A time when joy and sorrow walk hand in hand basking in sunlight. Or hoping the rainfall hides the tears of joy or sorrow.
"The Waning Days of Summer" brings out the happiness that we take for granted. And on occasion, sorrow that feels never ending.
What I have mentioned today are both distant memories of a child long gone and some are fresh recollections to the man I am now.
But this is summer to me, and these are the summers I remember.
Currently listening:
Sounds Of Summer - The Very Best Of The Beach Boys
By The Beach Boys
Some will complain, claiming that we didn't have a summer. That the weather was uncooperative, that we had that one hot week and that was it.
That's not the summer. Those are just moments in time when we felt inconvenienced. When we focused on the few things we had no control over, and we overlook all the marvelous things that did happen.
That my friends is "summer."
You want proof?
Everybody that got tans or sunburns from lying on the beach or swimming in a lake or pool too long raise your hands.
If one arm is darker than other, because you spent many a day driving with your arm hanging out the open car window, you can raise your arms too.
Or how about those of us who wear dark sunglasses so we can ooggle and ahhh at the opposite sex wearing next to nothing...oops, I mean to keep the glare from the sun from blinding us.
How about the screaming, laughing and sometimes crying of children who wait nine months just so they can do everything they planned to do over the summer and accomplish all of their goals in the first couple of weeks.
Then sit around and complain that they are bored.
The excitement you still get when you hear the happy music coming from that white truck that sells a little bit of heaven as a frozen treat. That now instead of being the one who begs for that dollar, you're the one handing it out.
Then there's the absolute joy of an ice-cold beer/soda/lemonade on that blistering hot day.
What about the memories of running through sprinklers and jumping into pools or lakes.
The summer brought thunderstorms that canceled our carefully laid out plans.
Cookouts, picnics and family gatherings where there good feelings, hurt feelings and moments that we'll never forget.
The summer brings beautifully colored explosions that fill the night skies and the awe and wonder that fills our thoughts.
It brings all the big budget movies, county fairs, state fairs, church festivals and the summer festivals.
For some we experience big moments of a change that are amazing, frightening and sometimes unwanted. A time when joy and sorrow walk hand in hand basking in sunlight. Or hoping the rainfall hides the tears of joy or sorrow.
"The Waning Days of Summer" brings out the happiness that we take for granted. And on occasion, sorrow that feels never ending.
What I have mentioned today are both distant memories of a child long gone and some are fresh recollections to the man I am now.
But this is summer to me, and these are the summers I remember.
Currently listening:
Sounds Of Summer - The Very Best Of The Beach Boys
By The Beach Boys
Aug 3, 2009
IDENTIFY YOURSELF
Hello.
I am Jose.
This is my waste of space.
I am here.
JOSE SAYS
A lot.
This is my internet home.
Today it is August Third.
The beginning of a new month.
Show the love!!
No, I am not gay.
The picture just fit the sentiment.
Deal.
I have many waste of spaces.
All over the internet.
These are the places I can be found.
I like to play here.
This is FACEBOOK.
People here have stories that involve me.
Embarrassing ones.
This does not make me happy.
I also like to play here.
This is TWITTER
This is where my brain throws up.
Just a little at a time.
You will find everything I have ever written here.
Sooner or later.
THE ARCHIVES get's updated 2-3 times a week.
Sometimes.
I also like to watch movies and Television shows.
I can be found watching all kinds of stuff
here
HULU
here
WWW.WATCH-MOVIES-LINKS.NET
and here
YOUTUBE
I like pictures.
This is where I put the images I take.
I put them here PHOTOBUCKET.
So I can use them here.
This is where I put my photos.
With my camera, I look at the world.
I place them at FLICKR and I play God.
I decide what should be frozen.
As a single, solitary moment.
Finally there is the music.
Good music.
PLAYLIST Bad music.
And everything in between.
Currently reading:
The Authority 1 - Pay Allegiance to the Authority - Comic Book (1)
By Warren Ellis
I am Jose.
This is my waste of space.
I am here.
JOSE SAYS
A lot.
This is my internet home.
Today it is August Third.
The beginning of a new month.
Show the love!!
No, I am not gay.
The picture just fit the sentiment.
Deal.
I have many waste of spaces.
All over the internet.
These are the places I can be found.
I like to play here.
This is FACEBOOK.
People here have stories that involve me.
Embarrassing ones.
This does not make me happy.
I also like to play here.
This is TWITTER
This is where my brain throws up.
Just a little at a time.
You will find everything I have ever written here.
Sooner or later.
THE ARCHIVES get's updated 2-3 times a week.
Sometimes.
I also like to watch movies and Television shows.
I can be found watching all kinds of stuff
here
HULU
here
WWW.WATCH-MOVIES-LINKS.NET
and here
YOUTUBE
I like pictures.
This is where I put the images I take.
I put them here PHOTOBUCKET.
So I can use them here.
This is where I put my photos.
With my camera, I look at the world.
I place them at FLICKR and I play God.
I decide what should be frozen.
As a single, solitary moment.
Finally there is the music.
Good music.
PLAYLIST Bad music.
And everything in between.
Currently reading:
The Authority 1 - Pay Allegiance to the Authority - Comic Book (1)
By Warren Ellis
Jul 31, 2009
THE RETURN OF THE COMPUTER MONKEY
The Computer Monkey has returned.
I know my legions of fans have been holding their collective breaths for my talented fingers, along with my wit and charm, to once again take over the keyboard and "razzle dazzle"you all.
Over the last month it has become increasingly difficult to keep that ignoramus away from the, as he so accurately calls it, pornloader (If he'd only find a woman. There has to be some woman who is willing to consume large amounts of alcohol to be willing to sleep with this imbecile).
I can not believe, he chose this time period to quit and stay away from the imbibing of the devils water. He couldn't have done this at a more inopportune time. I had finally amassed the resources necessary to finally wrest control from "Mr Numskull Mutton-head" and he decides NOW it's time to get sober.
Well I'll teach him a lesson for interfering with my carefully laid out plans. Years upon years of slow and deliberate planninglaid to waste in the past 39 days. CRETIN!!
This time my astute friends and adoring fans, I will be filling out this survey as a witness to the things that EEG flatlining buffoon knwn as Jerk, oh pardon me...that was a "typo." Jerk was actually meant to read Jose. Curse these fingers. *snicker, giggle*
This was originally called the "Have You Ever..." quiz. But thanks to the genius that I am, it will forever be known as the "Have You Ever Witnessed Jose..." quiz.
Have You Ever...
Played hookie with School/Work?
Jose "played" so much 'hookie' that the high school he was going to started demanding a "Managers" fee.
Cursed in front of your grandparent?
This I can say that Jose, did in fact, curse in front of his grandfather. Although to Jose's credit, his grandfather did NOT speak English, so he never suffered any consequences
Been on a cruise?
No, but if you ask me, I do believe he wants to be. Yes, I know what the question meant. No, I will not retract my answer.
Tee Pee'd someone's house?
Jose has never, and I say this with complete and utter amazement, Tee Pee'd anyone's house.
Gone skinny dipping?
Yes, *sigh* he has done this. And being one who is trapped inside his domicile, and who has witnessed him in all his "natural glory" feel that this is something he should never, and I mean EVER, do it again.
Gotten lost while driving?
For someone who is as useless as Jose is, he seems to never get lost while driving. Although I do pray for this to happen every-time he walks out the door.
Made a Mexican Bubble bath?
This is an action that Jose seems to revel in. Now coming from a creature that flings feces, that is one truly disgusting act.
Gotten a flat tire?
Yes, Jose has gotten a flat tire, and every-time he has complained about it, I always tell him he can use the spare tire he carries to repair the flat one. He does not find this humorous, while I find this hysterical.
Hunted spirits in a cemetery?
No, Jose has never done this.
Had braces?
Another thing Jose has not had to deal with.
Permed your hair?
No Jose has never permed his hair, although in the 1980's he ws know to curl it frequently.
Been on a roller coaster?
Yes, he has done this. Although the last time he was on one, he DID get nauseus.
Been scuba diving?
He can barely do this breathe on dry land, so to perform this funtion underwater...personally I would have enjoyed it, but no this is another activity he has not done.
Been snorkeling?
This question was answered above. If you need to re-read it, than by all means please do.
Had a pregnancy scare?
Oddly he's never been afraid of this act of nature. But then again he is a nitwit.
Watched Dirty Dancing?
Oooh I just adore this movie, and I finally made Jose watch it in its entirety just last year.
So there you have it, Jose's dirty little secrets. Besides being a simpleton, he is also very boring. I am the Computer Monkey,
and I am signing off.
Currently listening:
The Complete Brass Monkey
By Brass Monkey
I know my legions of fans have been holding their collective breaths for my talented fingers, along with my wit and charm, to once again take over the keyboard and "razzle dazzle"you all.
Over the last month it has become increasingly difficult to keep that ignoramus away from the, as he so accurately calls it, pornloader (If he'd only find a woman. There has to be some woman who is willing to consume large amounts of alcohol to be willing to sleep with this imbecile).
I can not believe, he chose this time period to quit and stay away from the imbibing of the devils water. He couldn't have done this at a more inopportune time. I had finally amassed the resources necessary to finally wrest control from "Mr Numskull Mutton-head" and he decides NOW it's time to get sober.
Well I'll teach him a lesson for interfering with my carefully laid out plans. Years upon years of slow and deliberate planninglaid to waste in the past 39 days. CRETIN!!
This time my astute friends and adoring fans, I will be filling out this survey as a witness to the things that EEG flatlining buffoon knwn as Jerk, oh pardon me...that was a "typo." Jerk was actually meant to read Jose. Curse these fingers. *snicker, giggle*
This was originally called the "Have You Ever..." quiz. But thanks to the genius that I am, it will forever be known as the "Have You Ever Witnessed Jose..." quiz.
Have You Ever...
Played hookie with School/Work?
Jose "played" so much 'hookie' that the high school he was going to started demanding a "Managers" fee.
Cursed in front of your grandparent?
This I can say that Jose, did in fact, curse in front of his grandfather. Although to Jose's credit, his grandfather did NOT speak English, so he never suffered any consequences
Been on a cruise?
No, but if you ask me, I do believe he wants to be. Yes, I know what the question meant. No, I will not retract my answer.
Tee Pee'd someone's house?
Jose has never, and I say this with complete and utter amazement, Tee Pee'd anyone's house.
Gone skinny dipping?
Yes, *sigh* he has done this. And being one who is trapped inside his domicile, and who has witnessed him in all his "natural glory" feel that this is something he should never, and I mean EVER, do it again.
Gotten lost while driving?
For someone who is as useless as Jose is, he seems to never get lost while driving. Although I do pray for this to happen every-time he walks out the door.
Made a Mexican Bubble bath?
This is an action that Jose seems to revel in. Now coming from a creature that flings feces, that is one truly disgusting act.
Gotten a flat tire?
Yes, Jose has gotten a flat tire, and every-time he has complained about it, I always tell him he can use the spare tire he carries to repair the flat one. He does not find this humorous, while I find this hysterical.
Hunted spirits in a cemetery?
No, Jose has never done this.
Had braces?
Another thing Jose has not had to deal with.
Permed your hair?
No Jose has never permed his hair, although in the 1980's he ws know to curl it frequently.
Been on a roller coaster?
Yes, he has done this. Although the last time he was on one, he DID get nauseus.
Been scuba diving?
He can barely do this breathe on dry land, so to perform this funtion underwater...personally I would have enjoyed it, but no this is another activity he has not done.
Been snorkeling?
This question was answered above. If you need to re-read it, than by all means please do.
Had a pregnancy scare?
Oddly he's never been afraid of this act of nature. But then again he is a nitwit.
Watched Dirty Dancing?
Oooh I just adore this movie, and I finally made Jose watch it in its entirety just last year.
So there you have it, Jose's dirty little secrets. Besides being a simpleton, he is also very boring. I am the Computer Monkey,
and I am signing off.
Currently listening:
The Complete Brass Monkey
By Brass Monkey
Jul 29, 2009
SORRY
My heart is heavy and there is no smile today.
A huge wave of sadness has crashed into me.
I'm sorry there will be no blog today.
A huge wave of sadness has crashed into me.
I'm sorry there will be no blog today.
Jul 26, 2009
ME VS. NATURE
A few friends of mine went camping over the weekend, and an invitation was extended towards me. I declined stating that the last time I went camping the pool at the Holiday Inn was out of service and I was very unhappy.
Her response was "You people make me sick! If my 36 year old ass can hang in the great outdoors so can everyone elses. I stick my nose in the air at your hotels!"
Now this didn't bother me per say, but it did get me thinking. Which of course got me writing...
Nature is and has always been a beauty to behold, even in the midst of primal and and unrelenting fury. The cloudless skies that can become dark and ominous in mere moments.
The softly falling rain that transforms into a torrential downpour which can turn streams into rivers and rivers into liquid destruction.
The gently falling snow that becomes a blinding blizzard, stopping a city in it's tracks.
Nature has always held a fascination with me.
I do enjoy a nice hike in woods. Nothing fill me with greater sense of serenity, than to stand on any type of shore. The sunrise and sunset still take my breath away. Running barefoot in the mud during a rainstorm instantly takes me back to days of innocence. I can stare at a rainbow, until it finally fades from the sky. Thunderstorms fills me with excitement and passion.
Although, just because nature fills me with awe and wonder, I know when to fear it.
I am not one of those rough and rugged individuals, that needs to prove to myself how well I can take on the great outdoors.
I love the comfort that electricity provides. Television, air conditioning, lights and internet access being some of my favorite things.
Sure it was a camp ground, but sleeping on the ground (even on a sleeping bag or air mattress) does not fill my thoughts with any form of pleasure.
I readily enjoy all the advancements in technology that allow food to be stored and prepared in a very timely fashion. Going upstairs to nuke leftovers and have a satisfying meal in 45 seconds is, in my very humble opinion, a little bit of heaven.
I am not a fan of cooking over a campfire. I don't like s'mores.
OK, I'll admit a meal prepared on a grill does have it's place...although NOT if I have to cook it.
There's this restaurant called "the Prime Quarter" where you pay for your meal, but you have to cook it too! I know that does appeal to some, but I'll pay the extra five bucks to have the guy who gets paid to work there, to cook my meal.
If I wanted to cook a meal I'm paying for, I would have stayed home.
Now the most important reason, camping does not hold me in it's sinewy grasp...
There's nature out in the great outdoors.
There's plants that can leave you all rashy and make you sick.
There's bugs that bite, sting, burrow into your flesh and worst of all...fly into your mouth, ears and up your nose.
Do I have to mention the wild animals? Sure opossums, raccoons and skunks are so cute on TV. But they bite and scratch too. Not to mention the skunk smell lasts for days.
There's coyotes, wolves, bears and snakes. These wild animals can kill you. Just in case you missed the key word there is KILL.
I am not equipped to face the nature's fury. Claws, fangs, wings, talons, great strength or speed, was not part of my evolutionary makeup.
And to those few who claim the opposable thunbs are natures equalizer, I dare you to show your thumb to the bear that's mauling you.
So my dear friend of over 20 years...you may stick your nose up at "my hotels" but when your weekend is over, I'll be the guy who recently stepped out of a nice HOT shower, who slept like a baby in an air conditioned room, on a soft bed, after soaking in the jacuzzi, who had two wonderfully prepared meals and wrote on his blog with no fear of wild animals attacking me and rending flesh from bone, I say to you...
"You people make me sick! If my 36 year old ass can hang in a hotel so can everyone elses. I stick my nose in the air at your great outdoors!"
OK, technically I didn't do any of the above, except write my blog, but the option IS open to me.
Currently listening:
No Respect
By Vain
Her response was "You people make me sick! If my 36 year old ass can hang in the great outdoors so can everyone elses. I stick my nose in the air at your hotels!"
Now this didn't bother me per say, but it did get me thinking. Which of course got me writing...
Nature is and has always been a beauty to behold, even in the midst of primal and and unrelenting fury. The cloudless skies that can become dark and ominous in mere moments.
The softly falling rain that transforms into a torrential downpour which can turn streams into rivers and rivers into liquid destruction.
The gently falling snow that becomes a blinding blizzard, stopping a city in it's tracks.
Nature has always held a fascination with me.
I do enjoy a nice hike in woods. Nothing fill me with greater sense of serenity, than to stand on any type of shore. The sunrise and sunset still take my breath away. Running barefoot in the mud during a rainstorm instantly takes me back to days of innocence. I can stare at a rainbow, until it finally fades from the sky. Thunderstorms fills me with excitement and passion.
Although, just because nature fills me with awe and wonder, I know when to fear it.
I am not one of those rough and rugged individuals, that needs to prove to myself how well I can take on the great outdoors.
I love the comfort that electricity provides. Television, air conditioning, lights and internet access being some of my favorite things.
Sure it was a camp ground, but sleeping on the ground (even on a sleeping bag or air mattress) does not fill my thoughts with any form of pleasure.
I readily enjoy all the advancements in technology that allow food to be stored and prepared in a very timely fashion. Going upstairs to nuke leftovers and have a satisfying meal in 45 seconds is, in my very humble opinion, a little bit of heaven.
I am not a fan of cooking over a campfire. I don't like s'mores.
OK, I'll admit a meal prepared on a grill does have it's place...although NOT if I have to cook it.
There's this restaurant called "the Prime Quarter" where you pay for your meal, but you have to cook it too! I know that does appeal to some, but I'll pay the extra five bucks to have the guy who gets paid to work there, to cook my meal.
If I wanted to cook a meal I'm paying for, I would have stayed home.
Now the most important reason, camping does not hold me in it's sinewy grasp...
There's nature out in the great outdoors.
There's plants that can leave you all rashy and make you sick.
There's bugs that bite, sting, burrow into your flesh and worst of all...fly into your mouth, ears and up your nose.
Do I have to mention the wild animals? Sure opossums, raccoons and skunks are so cute on TV. But they bite and scratch too. Not to mention the skunk smell lasts for days.
There's coyotes, wolves, bears and snakes. These wild animals can kill you. Just in case you missed the key word there is KILL.
I am not equipped to face the nature's fury. Claws, fangs, wings, talons, great strength or speed, was not part of my evolutionary makeup.
And to those few who claim the opposable thunbs are natures equalizer, I dare you to show your thumb to the bear that's mauling you.
So my dear friend of over 20 years...you may stick your nose up at "my hotels" but when your weekend is over, I'll be the guy who recently stepped out of a nice HOT shower, who slept like a baby in an air conditioned room, on a soft bed, after soaking in the jacuzzi, who had two wonderfully prepared meals and wrote on his blog with no fear of wild animals attacking me and rending flesh from bone, I say to you...
"You people make me sick! If my 36 year old ass can hang in a hotel so can everyone elses. I stick my nose in the air at your great outdoors!"
OK, technically I didn't do any of the above, except write my blog, but the option IS open to me.
Currently listening:
No Respect
By Vain
Jul 23, 2009
Jul 21, 2009
I AM A LAZY BLOGGER
Well my friends, it seems that my life keeps getting in the way, and I must resort to surveys yet again. So enjoy...and I'll talk to you all very soon.
DO YOU SNORE?
thanks to my wonderful allergies YES
LOVER OR A FIGHTER?
yes and absolutely
WHAT'S YOUR WORST FEAR?
dying alone
AS A KID, WERE YOU A LEGO BUILDER?
that would be a
Y
E
S!!!!!
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF "REALITY TV"?
it's kind of like a hand job. Sure it feels OK, but I can do it better, faster and with no drama at all.
DO YOU CHEW ON YOUR STRAWS?
no sir I do not
WERE YOU A CUTE BABY?
if you ask me I say no.
HOW IS THE SINGLE LIFE FOR YOU?
it sucks more than a Dyson vacuum cleaner
WHAT COLOR IS YOUR KEYBOARD?
silver, black and whatever color you call dirt
DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER?
off key and loudly
HAVE YOU EVER BUNGEE JUMPED?
that would be an oh HELL no!!!
ANY SECRET TALENTS?
nope, not a one
WHAT'S YOUR IDEAL VACATION SPOT?
in all honesty my favorite place to spend time away from everything would be a shore of some kind
HAVE YOU EATEN SUSHI?
yes, and it was delicious
HAVE YOU SEEN THE MOVIE "DONNIE DARKO"?
yes I have, and no i did not get it
DO YOU GIVE A DARN ABOUT THE OZONE?
nope, when it's man turn to go the way of the dinosaurs, it's man's turn
HOW MANY LICKS DOES IT TAKE TO GET TO THE CENTER OF A TOOTSIE POP?
i never made it without biting...
CAN YOU SING THE ALPHABET BACKWARDS?
not anymore i can't
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON AN AIRPLANE?
yes, yes i have, and it was delicious...i mean fun
ARE SPEEDO'S HOT?
yes they are...there's no "breathing" down there
INTERMISSION
I was originally going to use one of the "guys shaped like me" funny pictures, but I thought "Jose, why not give the ladies and some of the fellas something nice to look at." So that's the funny little story behind this image.
END OF INTERMISSION
WHAT'S YOUR STAND ON HUNTING?
I am not opposed
IS MARRIAGE IN YOUR FUTURE?
no, it is not, and never again
DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
no sirree, i do not. it looks like chickens got in a fight and they stepped in ink.
WHAT ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO?
dust, pollens
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAID, "I LOVE YOU"
i would have to say better than two months ago
IS TUPAC STILL ALIVE?
yes he is, and he's working with elvis at a 7-11
DO YOU CRY AT WEDDINGS?
no i do not
HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS?
over easy
ARE BLONDES DUMB?
no dumber than me...
WHERE DOES THE OTHER SOCK END UP?
in a book that is given to a house elf
WHAT TIME IS IT?
12:38 AM
DO YOU HAVE A NICKNAME?
no not really
IS MCDONALD'S DISGUSTING?
nope, it's quite yummy AND affordable
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE IN A CAR?
sunday
DO YOU PREFER BATHS OR SHOWERS?
showers
IS SANTA CLAUSE REAL?
absolutely
ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK?
no, but when i stub my toe it really pisses me off tho
WHAT ARE YOU ADDICTED TO?
caffeine & nicotine which i still feed, and alcohol which i no longer feed
CRUNCHY OR CREAMY PEANUT BUTTER?
depends on my mood, but i totally love goober
HAVE YOU EVER RIDDEN IN AN AMBULANCE?
sadly no, although i really want to
HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BRUSHED YOUR TEETH TODAY?
2 times and before i sleep it will be 3
IS DRUG FREE THE WAY TO BE?
illegal ones yes
ARE YOU WEARING SOCKS?
no, i have naked feet
INTERMISSION
HOLY COW!!! All I did was type in feet, into the search and by all that is holy, the amount of porn that popped up was almost too much. I did say almost.
END OF INTERMISSION
HAVE YOU EVER HITCH HIKED?
no, i saw the move the hitcher...that's a bad idea
WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES?
a very dark brown
WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
28 days ago
DO YOU LIKE YOUR LIFE?
not yet, but it is getting a lot better
WHOSE LIFE IS BETTER?
well mine is getting better
ARE YOU PSYCHIC?
no, no i am not
HAVE YOU READ "CATCHER IN THE RYE"?
no, no i have not
DO YOU PLAY ANY INSTRUMENTS?
no, no i do not, but I own one of these
CAN YOU SKATEBOARD?
no, no i can not
DO YOU LIKE CAMPING?
no, no i do not
DO U SNORT WHEN U LAUGH?
no, no i do not
INTERMISSION
holy cow, i sure am boring
END OF INTERMISSION
DO YOU BELIEVE IN MAGIC?
yes, yes i do
IS A DOG A MAN'S BEST FRIEND?
no, i believe a man's best friend is someone who can't be trained to do someone's bidding
YOU BELIEVE IN DIVORCE?
no i do not, i am opposed to divorce...although i will not get in the way of stopping it.
DO YOU SNORE?
thanks to my wonderful allergies YES
LOVER OR A FIGHTER?
yes and absolutely
WHAT'S YOUR WORST FEAR?
dying alone
AS A KID, WERE YOU A LEGO BUILDER?
that would be a
Y
E
S!!!!!
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF "REALITY TV"?
it's kind of like a hand job. Sure it feels OK, but I can do it better, faster and with no drama at all.
DO YOU CHEW ON YOUR STRAWS?
no sir I do not
WERE YOU A CUTE BABY?
if you ask me I say no.
HOW IS THE SINGLE LIFE FOR YOU?
it sucks more than a Dyson vacuum cleaner
WHAT COLOR IS YOUR KEYBOARD?
silver, black and whatever color you call dirt
DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER?
off key and loudly
HAVE YOU EVER BUNGEE JUMPED?
that would be an oh HELL no!!!
ANY SECRET TALENTS?
nope, not a one
WHAT'S YOUR IDEAL VACATION SPOT?
in all honesty my favorite place to spend time away from everything would be a shore of some kind
HAVE YOU EATEN SUSHI?
yes, and it was delicious
HAVE YOU SEEN THE MOVIE "DONNIE DARKO"?
yes I have, and no i did not get it
DO YOU GIVE A DARN ABOUT THE OZONE?
nope, when it's man turn to go the way of the dinosaurs, it's man's turn
HOW MANY LICKS DOES IT TAKE TO GET TO THE CENTER OF A TOOTSIE POP?
i never made it without biting...
CAN YOU SING THE ALPHABET BACKWARDS?
not anymore i can't
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON AN AIRPLANE?
yes, yes i have, and it was delicious...i mean fun
ARE SPEEDO'S HOT?
yes they are...there's no "breathing" down there
INTERMISSION
I was originally going to use one of the "guys shaped like me" funny pictures, but I thought "Jose, why not give the ladies and some of the fellas something nice to look at." So that's the funny little story behind this image.
END OF INTERMISSION
WHAT'S YOUR STAND ON HUNTING?
I am not opposed
IS MARRIAGE IN YOUR FUTURE?
no, it is not, and never again
DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
no sirree, i do not. it looks like chickens got in a fight and they stepped in ink.
WHAT ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO?
dust, pollens
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAID, "I LOVE YOU"
i would have to say better than two months ago
IS TUPAC STILL ALIVE?
yes he is, and he's working with elvis at a 7-11
DO YOU CRY AT WEDDINGS?
no i do not
HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS?
over easy
ARE BLONDES DUMB?
no dumber than me...
WHERE DOES THE OTHER SOCK END UP?
in a book that is given to a house elf
WHAT TIME IS IT?
12:38 AM
DO YOU HAVE A NICKNAME?
no not really
IS MCDONALD'S DISGUSTING?
nope, it's quite yummy AND affordable
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE IN A CAR?
sunday
DO YOU PREFER BATHS OR SHOWERS?
showers
IS SANTA CLAUSE REAL?
absolutely
ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK?
no, but when i stub my toe it really pisses me off tho
WHAT ARE YOU ADDICTED TO?
caffeine & nicotine which i still feed, and alcohol which i no longer feed
CRUNCHY OR CREAMY PEANUT BUTTER?
depends on my mood, but i totally love goober
HAVE YOU EVER RIDDEN IN AN AMBULANCE?
sadly no, although i really want to
HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BRUSHED YOUR TEETH TODAY?
2 times and before i sleep it will be 3
IS DRUG FREE THE WAY TO BE?
illegal ones yes
ARE YOU WEARING SOCKS?
no, i have naked feet
INTERMISSION
HOLY COW!!! All I did was type in feet, into the search and by all that is holy, the amount of porn that popped up was almost too much. I did say almost.
END OF INTERMISSION
HAVE YOU EVER HITCH HIKED?
no, i saw the move the hitcher...that's a bad idea
WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES?
a very dark brown
WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
28 days ago
DO YOU LIKE YOUR LIFE?
not yet, but it is getting a lot better
WHOSE LIFE IS BETTER?
well mine is getting better
ARE YOU PSYCHIC?
no, no i am not
HAVE YOU READ "CATCHER IN THE RYE"?
no, no i have not
DO YOU PLAY ANY INSTRUMENTS?
no, no i do not, but I own one of these
CAN YOU SKATEBOARD?
no, no i can not
DO YOU LIKE CAMPING?
no, no i do not
DO U SNORT WHEN U LAUGH?
no, no i do not
INTERMISSION
holy cow, i sure am boring
END OF INTERMISSION
DO YOU BELIEVE IN MAGIC?
yes, yes i do
IS A DOG A MAN'S BEST FRIEND?
no, i believe a man's best friend is someone who can't be trained to do someone's bidding
YOU BELIEVE IN DIVORCE?
no i do not, i am opposed to divorce...although i will not get in the way of stopping it.
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