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Well hello and Good day to all my friends, cohorts and those undecided, today I'm smooth like a diaper...the same diaper that traps my nephews hind side emissions, which upon first sniff makes you think there's a present waiting but it's just a false alarm...an eye burning, gag reflex inducing false alarm.
Just had a random thought...Most of you know that Kermit the Frog does a YAY! and then flails his arm...so would he be the original "fist pump"er?
How to NOT build self esteem...
MOM: Son, don't have children....
ME: Huh? Where did that come from?....
MOM: Promise me....
Me: Why?....
MOM: I don't want to have to explain your "stupid" genes, to yet another generation.
Hello my friends, cohorts and those still undecided, Today I am smooth like Steven Seagal...Under Siege (the original and only the original) Steven Seagal NOT Steven Seagal: Lawman (the TV series) Steven Seagal.
"Just looked out the window and noticed the sky is blue. Scared me a little...then I remembered it's SUPPOSED to be that color. Been a while"
"In this crazy topsy turvy world no one will give a hill of beans what my score was on Atari's Tempest...but it was dang high"
"Dear LA Drivers, Not letting me into your lane doesn't mean u will get there faster. It means you're a douche. Love, Black Prius"
"Alright Brain, you don't like me, and I don't like you. But let's just do this, and I can get back to killing you with beer."
Hello my friends, cohorts and those yet undecided...today I am smooth like 80's rock hair...sure it helped put a hole in the ozone layer...but you gotta admit them do's were just EPIC!!!
Is it strange that I miss sitting around a table pretending to be an elf, while wolfing down cheap pizza, Jolt Cola and hoping to god that the orc doesn't kill me??
You know you're getting old when people who are half your age can smoke legally...and have been able to for 6 months
You know you're getting old when people who are half your age can purchase those magazines and videos your parents never wanted you to see...
You know you are getting old when people who are half your age, you can legally date...esp when you can meet them in pubs...THANKS SYNDI
“What is kinky? Something with kinks or twists. Well that’s all of us, isn’t it? It’s just a matter of finding who fits with your kinks."
"Everything in excess! To enjoy the flavor of life, take big bites. Moderation is for monks."
Hello my friends cohorts and those still undecided, Today I'm smooth like a cigarette smoking cat, What? Don't Judge Me! I didn't teach it!
May your day be filled w/ the sounds of laughter, the promise of hope & blessed with friendships both new & old. Until our paths cross again
You know you are getting old when your favorite song only gets played on the "classic rock" stations.
You know you are getting old when you realize that the day you graduated high school, most of the kids graduating high school now were born
You know you're getting old when you see a concert t-shirt from a show you went to, worn by someone who wasn't even born yet, looking brand new & they're not available in adult sizes
You know you're getting old when you can remember buying albums and cassettes before the mandatory "Parental Advisory" stickers.
You know you're getting old when you can remember buying albums and cassettes
You know you're getting old when you can remember the last time a fashion trend was popular....thanks Michelle
You know you're getting old when you hear the phrase "What do you wanna do with your life?" And the first answer that pops into your head is "I wanna rock!"
You know you're an 80's child if you were ever afraid to eat Pop Rocks and drink Pepsi, fearing your stomach would burst from the reaction
You know you're an 80's child if you fully understand the the significance and the need for 1.21 gigawatts of electricity
You know you're an 80's child if you know who Meat Tuperello and where he's from.
You know you're an 80's child if you know who Johnny 5 is...
You know you're an 80's child if you know the significance of "$2.00 dollars, I want my $2.00 dollars"
You know you're an 80's child if you associate Peter Gabriel with rain and boom boxes..
You know you're an 80's child if you know not to touch what belongs to One Eyed Willie...
"I lost 20 pounds...How? I drank bear piss and took up fencing. How the fuck you think, son? I exercised."
You know you're an 80's child if you wondered what white bread with butter, Cap'n Crunch and Pixie Stix as a sandwich would taste like
"I Don't give a flyin **ck besides how would I If my arms were flappin?"
Hello friends, cohorts & those undecided, Today I'm smooth like a Cherry Coke I mean a diet Cherry Coke, WAIT, an ice cold diet Cherry Coke,
Hello friends, cohorts & those undecided, Today I'm smooth like the velvety tones of crooner Micheal Bolton's tender & emotional music, waiting for a punchline, huh? There isn't one, I happen to like Mr Bolton's music. I know, let the ridicule begin...
"Rush Limbaugh says if Health Care Reform passes, he's moving to Costa Rica. Isn't that reason enough to vote "yes?"
"We live in such a strange world. We just love to put everyone into little boxes with labels on them. Gets us off."
You know you had awful parents growing up...if they let you, drink from the hose as a kid.
You know you had awful parents growing up...if you were "grounded outside" during the Summer.
You know you had awful parents growing up...if they let you ride your bike without a helmet, knee pads or elbow pads.
You know you had awful parents growing up...if you were more worried about coming home with ripped jeans then you were about the gash on your leg.
Awesome Quote of the Moment - "If you get out of the chase, you will never finish your journey much less win the race." Jim 'JR' Ross
Hello friends, cohorts & those undecided, Today I'm smooth like Watermelon Jolly Ranchers...because they are yummy...and when I say yummy I MEAN YUMMY!!!...
"Oxygen is a privilege, not a right."
"HIDDEN roaming charges? Jesus, Sprint has 'fucking people' down to a science, like they practice it in a fucking lab on mice first."
"Just got back from the hospital my daughter suffered her 1st concussion ran head first into bday present bunk bed ladder.she is hardcore now"
"To absent friends, lost loves, old Gods, and the season of mists; and may each and every one of us always give the devil his due."
"Dumbest thing I've seen all day: a Master lock on a plastic chain."
A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, 'Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!' After a few seconds, Little Larry stood up. The teacher said, 'Do you think you're stupid, Larry?' 'No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!'
I'm trying to figure out which is more unnerving, being remembered or being forgotten...
"I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have the Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!!"
"I mean, when I was a kid, Child Protective Services didn't care if our parents beat us. As a matter of fact, the parents of all my friends also had permission to kick our ass! Nowhere was safe!"
"I mean, when I was a kid, there was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I'm saying? We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons"
"I mean, when I was a kid, there were no MP3's or Napsters or iTunes! If you wanted to steal music, you had to walk, ride a bike, get a ride to the record store and shoplift it yourself."
"If I say "he's a good friend" I mean: he can see me in the morning without make-up. Variations: he can see me in a bikini, no tan or playing video games"
Cougartown is the best comedy on TV! That show is 15 shades of awesomeness and 10 shades of brilliant stuffed in an amazing comedic taco!!!!
Happy Cinqo de Mayo! errr I mean Arbor Day! oops I mean Happy Sweetest Day? wait is it Secretary's Day? Oh It's St. Patrick's Day...YAY!!!!
"I have slept with irish girls & been to ireland which makes me more irish than 99% of the fucks celebrating st paddys today"
I am so tired of not being able to sleep like a normal person...this 2 hours at a crack is killing me...
"Mmmm....Coffee - Ahhh....Doggie snuggles - Grrr....Medicine"
"Four wheelin' is always fun! But the guy at the car wash is gonna hate me."
Guide to changing your own life: Realize it’s possible, instead of telling yourself why you can’t.
Become aware of your self-talk. Squash negative thoughts like a bug. Replace them with positive thoughts.
Love what you have already. Be grateful for your life, your gifts, and other people. Every day.
Focus on what you have, not on what you haven’t. Don’t compare yourself to others. But be inspired by them.
Accept criticism with grace. But ignore the naysayers. See bad things as a blessing in disguise. See failure as a stepping stone to success.
Surround yourself by those who are positive. Complain less smile more. Image that you are already positive. Then become that person in your next act
"I am manfully fighting the urge to unscrew people's heads and check inside their brain-caves for bad wiring"
"You know I learned that my girlfriend monitors Twitter so I can't ask girlfriend advice here without paying for it."
Sweet Baby Jesus why?? Didn't you suffer enough the first time around? Heck I try to ignore myself at least 4-5 times a day....Heh...Heh heh...
"Ke$ha was atrocious on Idol this week. What a brutal season. Please comeback Obi Wan Kelambert-u are our only hope..."
I have two open slots available...and for some reason that just sounds so dirty...
Heh...I'm the Batman...but not the cool Adam West Batman...instead I'm the Christian Bale Batman...
"Psst...Orlando Bloom is sitting at the table next to me at dinner...I feel like we are having dinner together...Except we're not..."
I saw 15 kids lined up at Wal-mart to get The Twilight movie that comes out at midnight...which is no big deal because these are the same kids who hang out at Wal-mart at midnight anyway...
Regarding Paramount remaking "The Monster Squad" - NOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Unless it's awesome. I mean Avatar/Serenity/Matrix/Lord of the Rings awesome. Otherwise HANDS OFF HOLLYWOOD!!!!!!
If we're 90% sure we did nothing wrong. Why do we spend so much energy worrying about the remaining 10%. It's like were wired to feel guilty
How petty & sensitive R we getting when a social network application can cause problems between the people who R supposed to be your friends
"Everyone in life is gonna hurt you, you just have to figure out which people are worth the pain."
Bobby Hill is preaching against fornicating...LMAO
Hello cats and kittens...oh wait that's someone elses greeting...what I meant to say is...Hello friends and cohorts and those undecided today I'm smooth like a pick up line
Me: Hello, Nice weather huh?
Her: I'm a lesbian, I'm married, I have herpes, and you're ugly
Me: huh?
Her: Just covering all my bases
“Celebrate your success and stand strong when adversity hits, for when the storm clouds come in, the eagles soar while the small birds take cover”
"And I thought, wow Nordstrom has really gone down hill. Then I realized I was inside JCPenny."
Hello friends and cohorts and those undecided today I'm smooth like..Sugar. Spice. And everything Nice.These were the ingredients chosen to create the perfect little boy. But Professor Utonium accidentally added an extra ingredient to the concoction... Chemical X. Thus the Powerpuff Boy were born! Using their ultra-superpowers Jose has dedicated his life to fighting crime and the forces of evil.
Hello my friends, cohorts and those still undecided, Today I am smooth....like yuletide bliss...only 9 more shopping months till Christmas...I like books and DVD's :D
It's official, my brain is for the most part useless, I had to dig out the yearbook to start putting names with faces...
Hey I'm mean...yeah...that means I can go put on my pleather jacket, and sing and dance like those bad apples from West Side story...cuz they were tough street hombres...Yeah I'll be a Jet...all this because I can be mean today...
Awesome Quote of the moment - "Before I go to work. All you people out there you have permission to kick ass today.. no need to take names just kick ass."
Greetings my friends, cohorts and those still undecided, today I'm smooth...like a Ken Doll...and it's also embarrassing knowing that doll is hung better than I am...:( Heh
"I REFUSE to see negativity...lets all do it and conquer! World is gettin scary enough without us adding negativity to it!"
Here's a thought for you...if you were a dessert what would you be?? (do you think we can keep this at least PG rated...thanks)
Hola amigos please click-o on the elite-o guard-o so we can go and kick-o some mucho butt-o... Thanks
I'm the one with the girlie hand gesture...*reaching into wallet and taking out man card* useless piece of crap, have to keep giving it away, because of stupid man card rules...
Hello friends, cohorts and those still undecided. Today I am smooth like a cue ball...and they itch!!! Stupid razor burn!!! Stupid little razor bumps!!! AHHHHHHHH!!!
I am not a smart man...nor am I a wise man...isn't having a Spy Museum counterproductive to their profession?????
I have come to the conclusion that I have the coolest friends on the planet!!! Thank You people for making this place not only tolerable but a joy to be in it!!!!
How many of you really know all of the people on your friend list? I mean personally know? Here's a task for you. I want all of the people on my list to post how they met me. After you have completed this, re-post this in your status box. You will be amazed at what you read...
Jan 14, 2011
Jan 12, 2011
2010 in Review (February)...Facebook Style
"Sometimes you're crossing the bridge, knowing that the second you get to the other side, you're going to burn the bitch down."
"Dear empty tummy, Shhhhhhh. So loud! You're scaring the dogs. Sincerely, the rest of our body"
Hello my friends. cohorts and those still undecided...Today I'm smooth...like Tang...because it's yummy, orange and good enough for astronauts, and if it's good enough for astronauts it's good enough for me.
"Apparently Oral Roberts is dead, but no reports yet of his being staked, beheaded and garlic being shoved in the stump"
"I 'ate my feelings' and I think they may have given me diarrhea."
"I dreamed a baby grizzly bear was my friend but then it ended up crushing my head. Luckily I woke up before he totally ended the friendship"
Dear Snowplow, Thank you for filling in the driveway, I had nothing else planned for this morning...signed The guy who gave you the one finger salute.
Dear Mr. One Finger Salute, I saw your rude gesture. I'm only doing my job, today my job is to make sure I put MORE snow in your driveway....signed "What's MY name, Bitch!"
"Sexy and scary, it's a fine line."
"The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less."
"Do living rooms eventually sicken & die?"
How NOT to build up self esteem...
Mom - Don't worry, with looks like yours, be grateful you have a strong personality.
Me - Don't you mean good?
Mom - No.
"I used to think of all the billions of people in the world, and of all those people, how was I going to meet the right ones? The right ones to be my friends, the right one to be my husband. Now I just believe you meet the people you're supposed to meet."
"Not wearing underpants and watching Castle. My Bucket List gets shorter every day."
Hello friends cohorts and those yet undcided, Today I'm smooth...like ICE...but not just any ICE, I'm talking about that patch that sits right where the garbage cans go, the place where unsuspecting victims, can slip and fall on their pasty, fat asses as a few carloads of people drive by...yeah I'm that smooth
"How come I can spend $$$ on shoes w/o batting an eye but I wait until the damn screen falls off the back of my laptop before I get a new 1 ?"
"Jesus, what a weird day. Time to sit around naked and drink whisky under the stars. Until some cop tases me."
"Best way to ease emotional pain? Laugh your tushy off. I also find doing the running man to old Salt-n-Pepa works wonders."
"The question I've been struggling with is as follows: Do I teach my son to hate the same people/places/things I do, or let him learn to hate on his own?.... And as a follow up, what is the appropriate age for a first sword?"
"A sense of humor is a power in life...try to find yours if you've lost it..."
"Can someone explain to me how a man-slut gets the same network coverage as our President or a telethon for Haiti. Anyone?"
"Why would i want to check a voicemail on my cell phone? People want to talk to me, call again. If i want to talk to you, I'll answer."
OH YEAH!!! Here's a little throwback to all the fans of the 80's rock...oh yeah there's some course language, so it's not suitable for all ages...wow look at me being a 'sponsible 'dult.
"Your mother made a batch of meatballs last night. Some are for you, some are for me, but more are for me. Remember that. More. Me."
Hello my friends, cohorts and those yet undecided, Today I'm smooth like velvet...black velvet...Black velvet and that little boy's smile, Black velvet with that slow southern style, A new religion that'll bring ya to your knees, Black velvet if you please
"It costs nothing to say something kind. Even less to shut up altogether."
Hello my friends, cohorts and those yet undecided, Today I'm smooth like the vocal stylings of the great Rick Astley...now that's SMOOOOooooooth!!
"Maybe I would have been thinner, richer and more sober if my childhood Idol wasn't Bluto Blutarsky from Animal House."
"My mission, is to one day be as cool of a human as my doggies think I already am."
"KILLER whales. Not Cuddle Whales. Not Soft Whales. They're called KILLER whales. How does this point escape people?"
How NOT to build up self esteem...
Mom - You should lose weight.
Me - Why? To be healthy?
Mom - No.
Me - To get a Girlfriend?
Mom - No.
Me - Why then?
Mom - Because you're fat.
A Nightmare On Elm Street (2010) Trailer - THIS MY FRIENDS MAKES ME VERY VERY HAPPY because this one actually looks very very scary...*waving arms like Kermit the Frog* "YAAAAAAY!!!!!"
Hello my friends, cohorts and those still undecided...Today I am smooth like heartburn...Damn you Ponza Rotta's from yesterday...Damn You...but YOU WERE SO GOOD...I'll see you soon *wink*!!!
"Damn. Woke up this morning and my house is on top of a witch."
YOU ARE EVIL!!! Or I just don't like ICP...well I don't like them, so that makes YOU EVIL!!! Problem solving in my head is fun...even Evel Knievel couldn't make the leaps my brain makes when jumping to conclusions...heh
"A parent's only as good as their dumbest kid. If one wins a Nobel Prize but the other gets robbed by a hooker, you failed."
"If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?"
Hello my friends, cohorts and those still undecided...Today I am smooth like a freshly shaved face...so very smoo...awww crap I missed a patch....screw it, I'll reshave later today...
"I have invented a cocktail called The Pint Of Whisky that uses a pint glass, whisky, and slapping anyone asking for a cocktail."
A true friend doesn't care what you're wearing, if you're home is tidy or not, if you're car is making funny noises, that you only have $5 in the bank this week, or that you and you're loved ones aren't perfect and do actually fight...a true friend just likes you for you! Repost this if you have at least one true friend
"USA = we lose hockey games, win wars & give ppl freedom. Canada = wins hockey games, strip clubs & good crepes."
Dear Internet, By all that is Great and Holy I did not realize that staying away from the computer for one day would then equal 3 hours of reading updates, emails and status's. I'm sorry internet, I will not neglect you again. Signed, Internet's Bitch
"Dear empty tummy, Shhhhhhh. So loud! You're scaring the dogs. Sincerely, the rest of our body"
Hello my friends. cohorts and those still undecided...Today I'm smooth...like Tang...because it's yummy, orange and good enough for astronauts, and if it's good enough for astronauts it's good enough for me.
"Apparently Oral Roberts is dead, but no reports yet of his being staked, beheaded and garlic being shoved in the stump"
"I 'ate my feelings' and I think they may have given me diarrhea."
"I dreamed a baby grizzly bear was my friend but then it ended up crushing my head. Luckily I woke up before he totally ended the friendship"
Dear Snowplow, Thank you for filling in the driveway, I had nothing else planned for this morning...signed The guy who gave you the one finger salute.
Dear Mr. One Finger Salute, I saw your rude gesture. I'm only doing my job, today my job is to make sure I put MORE snow in your driveway....signed "What's MY name, Bitch!"
"Sexy and scary, it's a fine line."
"The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less."
"Do living rooms eventually sicken & die?"
How NOT to build up self esteem...
Mom - Don't worry, with looks like yours, be grateful you have a strong personality.
Me - Don't you mean good?
Mom - No.
"I used to think of all the billions of people in the world, and of all those people, how was I going to meet the right ones? The right ones to be my friends, the right one to be my husband. Now I just believe you meet the people you're supposed to meet."
"Not wearing underpants and watching Castle. My Bucket List gets shorter every day."
Hello friends cohorts and those yet undcided, Today I'm smooth...like ICE...but not just any ICE, I'm talking about that patch that sits right where the garbage cans go, the place where unsuspecting victims, can slip and fall on their pasty, fat asses as a few carloads of people drive by...yeah I'm that smooth
"How come I can spend $$$ on shoes w/o batting an eye but I wait until the damn screen falls off the back of my laptop before I get a new 1 ?"
"Jesus, what a weird day. Time to sit around naked and drink whisky under the stars. Until some cop tases me."
"Best way to ease emotional pain? Laugh your tushy off. I also find doing the running man to old Salt-n-Pepa works wonders."
"The question I've been struggling with is as follows: Do I teach my son to hate the same people/places/things I do, or let him learn to hate on his own?.... And as a follow up, what is the appropriate age for a first sword?"
"A sense of humor is a power in life...try to find yours if you've lost it..."
"Can someone explain to me how a man-slut gets the same network coverage as our President or a telethon for Haiti. Anyone?"
"Why would i want to check a voicemail on my cell phone? People want to talk to me, call again. If i want to talk to you, I'll answer."
OH YEAH!!! Here's a little throwback to all the fans of the 80's rock...oh yeah there's some course language, so it's not suitable for all ages...wow look at me being a 'sponsible 'dult.
"Your mother made a batch of meatballs last night. Some are for you, some are for me, but more are for me. Remember that. More. Me."
Hello my friends, cohorts and those yet undecided, Today I'm smooth like velvet...black velvet...Black velvet and that little boy's smile, Black velvet with that slow southern style, A new religion that'll bring ya to your knees, Black velvet if you please
"It costs nothing to say something kind. Even less to shut up altogether."
Hello my friends, cohorts and those yet undecided, Today I'm smooth like the vocal stylings of the great Rick Astley...now that's SMOOOOooooooth!!
"Maybe I would have been thinner, richer and more sober if my childhood Idol wasn't Bluto Blutarsky from Animal House."
"My mission, is to one day be as cool of a human as my doggies think I already am."
"KILLER whales. Not Cuddle Whales. Not Soft Whales. They're called KILLER whales. How does this point escape people?"
How NOT to build up self esteem...
Mom - You should lose weight.
Me - Why? To be healthy?
Mom - No.
Me - To get a Girlfriend?
Mom - No.
Me - Why then?
Mom - Because you're fat.
A Nightmare On Elm Street (2010) Trailer - THIS MY FRIENDS MAKES ME VERY VERY HAPPY because this one actually looks very very scary...*waving arms like Kermit the Frog* "YAAAAAAY!!!!!"
Hello my friends, cohorts and those still undecided...Today I am smooth like heartburn...Damn you Ponza Rotta's from yesterday...Damn You...but YOU WERE SO GOOD...I'll see you soon *wink*!!!
"Damn. Woke up this morning and my house is on top of a witch."
YOU ARE EVIL!!! Or I just don't like ICP...well I don't like them, so that makes YOU EVIL!!! Problem solving in my head is fun...even Evel Knievel couldn't make the leaps my brain makes when jumping to conclusions...heh
"A parent's only as good as their dumbest kid. If one wins a Nobel Prize but the other gets robbed by a hooker, you failed."
"If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?"
Hello my friends, cohorts and those still undecided...Today I am smooth like a freshly shaved face...so very smoo...awww crap I missed a patch....screw it, I'll reshave later today...
"I have invented a cocktail called The Pint Of Whisky that uses a pint glass, whisky, and slapping anyone asking for a cocktail."
A true friend doesn't care what you're wearing, if you're home is tidy or not, if you're car is making funny noises, that you only have $5 in the bank this week, or that you and you're loved ones aren't perfect and do actually fight...a true friend just likes you for you! Repost this if you have at least one true friend
"USA = we lose hockey games, win wars & give ppl freedom. Canada = wins hockey games, strip clubs & good crepes."
Dear Internet, By all that is Great and Holy I did not realize that staying away from the computer for one day would then equal 3 hours of reading updates, emails and status's. I'm sorry internet, I will not neglect you again. Signed, Internet's Bitch
Jan 10, 2011
2010 in Review (January)...Facebook style
Hello my friends, cohorts and those that aren't either...Today I'm smooth like hardwood floors...after someone decides to use lemon Pledge on the floor that's right in front of the doorway so that when you wake up and are making a mad dash to the restroom, you slip and fall on your Pale and Fat Mexican Ass...Hello New Year, I guess I'll be your bitch too...
HOLY CRAP...my sister is getting married!!!....and I believe the next sign of the Apocalypse is the Four Horsemen regroup and go on a nationwide tour...
Hello my friends, cohorts and those that aren't either...Today I'm smooth...like a pick-up line...
Me: So what's you're sign
HER: We Reserve The Right To Refuse Service To Anyone
Hello my friends, cohorts and those that aren't either...Today I am smooth...Like a fine wine..."Noooo I don't wanna get out of beeeeeeeed, I'm waaaaarm and coooomyyyyyy!!! Leeeeave Meeeeee Aloooone!!!"
Hello my friends, cohorts and those that aren't either...Today I'm smooth like...Steve McQueen **blink blink** Oh who am I kidding, I'll never be that smooth.
"He asked God, 'Lord, You have commanded me to be happy, but You haven't told me how. Please, Lord what does it take for two people to be happy?' But the Lord had said all that He would say."
a fan - "sorry but you look old. specially your neck & cheecks at the second shot.."
Demi Moore - "I'm 47 how am I supposed to look?"
"Perhaps the most difficult choices to make are the ones that deny us those things our heart wants most, because, as it's been said, without reason nor prudence, the heart wants what the heart wants, and more often than not, it will not be denied."
"When someone says, 'you can't do it!' or 'You're good enough!' You do what I do, look them in the eye and say SHUT UP MOM!"
I am trying so hard not to go into the Perv part of the brain after reading this...
I'm not slow...I'm retarded...oh wait that does not make me sound good or nice
Maybe you need to use a dry heat to start houses on fire??
Ironically, I can't login to facebook, yet I can still do this...sometimes Facebook makes me want to cry...or punch Facebook right in the nose.
Started the early morning/late night with some Pantera. Then some Puya & now some Sepultura, its been a good music early morning/late night
HOLY CRAP!!! I'M OLD!!! Stupid white hairs growing...I even tried doing the myspace posing to hide them...stupid getting older...well let's see how long this pic stays up before I get sick of my face...
"Never walk away from a fight thats worth fighting...Never hesitate when you know, you're gonna act...Never waste your words on a fool, you won't listen...Never sell your soul cause you'll never buy it...back"
I've come to realize that...me - sleep = silly emo, so to correct this equation...Me + sleep = NOT emo & I wanna be NOT emo. That's my plan
I decided to kick it old skool when it came to music today...I pulled out the old boom box and the book of CD's and on this chilly chilly day these are the bands that I have been kicking it with so far today...Type-O Negative - Bloody Kisses, Love/Hate - Blackout in the Red Room, Slik Toxik - Doin' the Nasty, TUFF - What Comes Around Goes Around, Wildside - Under the Influence and XYZ - Hungry.
"Sometimes the mind, for reasons we don't necessarily understand, just decides to go to the store for a quart of milk."
"Watching football is like watching pornography. There's plenty of action, and I can't take my eyes off it, but when it's over, I wonder why the hell I spent an afternoon doing it."
There's something heart warming about reading a Tweet that simply says "Good Morning Sinners!"
"Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die."
thas right beee-yah-chess....that means i am mature.... :P...so take that
"Haven't trimmed my beard in so long that it's gone from Crackling Virility Hedge to Hobo Rape Thicket."
"Don’t kneel at my alter and then change your religion. It stings like a motherfucker.”
It's time for me to get some badly needed sleep. My insomnia is finally getting the beat down it deserves. Bon nuit mes amies, Bon nuit.
My IQ 173 beats Judith Polgar ( IQ=170 ), Albert Einstein ( IQ=160 ) and Bill Gates ( IQ=160 ). LMAO...yeah me smart...funny lil box that shows boobies say to me, Me am smart
Dishes and the kitchen are officially clean.....er than it was 30 minutes ago..heehee
Hello friends, cohorts and those undecided, Today I'm SMOOTH like a flat tire...all pretty on top and a let down on the bottom...
I'm trying to bribe a local law enforcement officer (he's my cousin) to let me hold his taser...he said "NO!!!" and it makes me sad
Hello my friends, cohorts and those that aren't either...Today I am smooth like an operator... a smooth operator, smooth operator, smooth operator.
and so the epic battle began...one man stood against insurmountable odds. With a reslove of steel forged in countless battles, he approaches the beast. He could smell the evil coming off of it like waves. He will be victorious. He has no choice. He's out of clean socks and unmentionables...damn the beast known as laundry...damn the beast.
I watched Leverage, The depths of awesomeness that is Leverage makes the Grand Canyon look like a crack in the sidewalk
I am KICKIN laundry behinds today...2 more loads and I am DONE!!!
Laundry's ass...OFFICIALLY KICKED!!! I even watched Daybreakers at the same time...Jose's ass...officially bored...I say wait for cable or at least as a free rental
LOL...ok...but I won't wash your unmentionables...and I don't fold clothes...except for towels, those I'll fold
"It occurred to me this morning, as I was pumping my milk whilst reading Twitter, my life would seem odd to the Amish."
"Everything right & wrong with America summed up in this slogan: 'A corndog is a hot dog in a delicious sweater.'"
Hello friends. cohorts and those undecided, Today I'm smooth like silk...the fake milk not the cocoons made by larvae
Hello friends. cohorts and those undecided, Today I'm smooth like the ground...now I wish everybody would get their damn pants off of me
Is Jesus Vampire Hunter still available on Netflix? I wanted to watch it, but I just couldn't force myself to
When people curse at me I just stare at them and after a few seconds, with "surprise" in my voice I go, 'Oh that's it? Sorry I thought you were going to be original. Sorry, I was giving you too much credit. My bad.'
"Since I am huge Dallas Cowboy fan, does that make me a Romo-sexual? Playoff football-I LOVE IT"
Hello my friends, cohorts, and those undecided...Today I am smooth like Jell-o, any Jell-o except Orange Jell-o. Orange Jell-o is gross.
Hello friends, cohorts and those undecided, Today I'm smooth like a root beer float...A&W root beer, not Barq's...NEVER BARQ"S!!!
"How come it's $2 for an In-n-out burger and $32 for a pilates class? You leave me with no choice..."
Why are Native Americans called Native Americans when they were Native before there was an America?
A small boy was lost at a large shopping mall. He approached a uniformed policeman and said, "I've lost my grandpa!" The cop asked, "What's he like?" The little boy replied, "Jack Daniels and women with big tits".
Nope, I can not see through people. I try and accept exactly what they show me. Sometimes it's good, other times not so much.
No I can't hide from myself...I have tried and I always come to the same conclusion...apparently I'm a really good tracker because I find myself every time.
"a pharmaceutical laced touch to combat the unfriendly touch of time...and memories."
I rarely feel lost, more like misplaced in familiar surroundings. Like a smile on a tear stained face. I always found that disturbing. Or I could be missing, without a trace. Running from the hand I'm holding. I rarely feel lost. But sometimes, I wish I was escaping the thoughts in my head that need erasing. Or it could be that I'm not lost at all, it's just that I haven't been found yet.
Your words are like scalpels, cutting through the pristine to expose the the torment that lies just below the skin...thank you for sharing.
"Your enemy is never a villain in his own eyes. Keep this in mind; it may offer a way to make him your friend. If not, you can kill him without hate--and quickly."
Thank you for putting into words, the desolation some of us feel often.
I believe that we are supposed to remember the joy of youth and embrace life with the same fervor. I hope that the lessons of youth have taught us which path to take. I pray that the dreams of youth continue to fuel the people we have become. I believe that acting like children is never the problem. I believe that acting childish is.
Your words, carefully crafted as they are, continue to open my eyes to new perspectives through your perceptions.
My dark and stormy night was, an insanely humid day, when others lost faith and trust in the man I was and for the first time I saw the sickened creature hiding behind the facade of my creation.
..What do I know of Life?
Life is...
just, unjust, difficult and easy
fair, unfair, spiteful and forgiving
too long, too short, finished or unfinished
A collection of moments strung together in a fragile mosaic
the past we reflect on, the present that passes by
where you started and where you end up
the dreams we strive and hope
beautiful, ugly, joyous, tragic
Life is...
What do I know of Life.
I believe no memory good or bad is ever truly forgotten or erased. To dwell on either is akin to swimming in the vastness of the ocean drowning in glory days or in moments of misery. But every new experience whether good or bad keeps you moving, towards the shores of living
They could accomplish everything they have ever wanted to do and their life would never be complete. That is the curse of those that spend their time looking towards the heavens and not on the path at their feet.
I welcome those negative people with open arms. If it wasn't for all the people who have told me what I couldn't do, then I wouldn't have tried so hard to prove them wrong. And I wouldn't have known what I had been capable of all this time.
I am saddened by the gifts I'll never get to give to the person that "was not there"...and thank you for reminding me...that I am not the only one who feels this way
"For newcomers, Warren's Rule: if Warren has been awake less than 2 hours, it is Morning, no matter what the clock says."
Hello my friends, cohorts and those yet undecided, Today I'm smooth...And It's just like the ocean, Under the moon, Well it's the same as the emotion that I get from you, You got the kinda loving that can be so smooth : )
Hello my friends, cohorts and those yet undecided, Today I', smooth like Superman, only with a towel as a cape, and underwear on the inside.
Hello friends, cohort, and those still undecided,Today I'm smooth...Like the Ability to lose the power of speech...
Her: So what's your name?
Me: He...Uh...Heh...heheheheheheheh
Hello my friends, cohorts & those yet undecided, Today I'm smooth like Batman...only not filled with angst, a little doughy, not in peak physical condition, goes to bed by midnight, not rich, and has no cool toys. But other than that, just like Batman.
Sadly you know those biscuits in the exploding paper tube...all of a sudden I know what I would look like in spandex....*SHUDDER*
Hello my friends, cohorts and those still undecided...today I'm smooth like ice... Ice ice baby vanilla, Ice ice baby (oh-oh) vanilla, Ice ice baby vanilla, Ice ice baby vanilla ice, Yo man let's get out of here, Word to your mother, Ice ice baby too cold, Ice ice baby too cold too cold
Hello my friends. cohorts and those still undecided...Today I'm smooth...like butter...on fresh from the oven banana bread...mmmm fresh and hot banana bread
Hello my friends, cohorts and those still undecided...today I'm smooth like a pick up line...
Me: Hi, so what's your name?
Her: Ida
Me: Ida?
Her: Ida beat your ass, but I don't hit girls!
HOLY CRAP...my sister is getting married!!!....and I believe the next sign of the Apocalypse is the Four Horsemen regroup and go on a nationwide tour...
Hello my friends, cohorts and those that aren't either...Today I'm smooth...like a pick-up line...
Me: So what's you're sign
HER: We Reserve The Right To Refuse Service To Anyone
Hello my friends, cohorts and those that aren't either...Today I am smooth...Like a fine wine..."Noooo I don't wanna get out of beeeeeeeed, I'm waaaaarm and coooomyyyyyy!!! Leeeeave Meeeeee Aloooone!!!"
Hello my friends, cohorts and those that aren't either...Today I'm smooth like...Steve McQueen **blink blink** Oh who am I kidding, I'll never be that smooth.
"He asked God, 'Lord, You have commanded me to be happy, but You haven't told me how. Please, Lord what does it take for two people to be happy?' But the Lord had said all that He would say."
a fan - "sorry but you look old. specially your neck & cheecks at the second shot.."
Demi Moore - "I'm 47 how am I supposed to look?"
"Perhaps the most difficult choices to make are the ones that deny us those things our heart wants most, because, as it's been said, without reason nor prudence, the heart wants what the heart wants, and more often than not, it will not be denied."
"When someone says, 'you can't do it!' or 'You're good enough!' You do what I do, look them in the eye and say SHUT UP MOM!"
I am trying so hard not to go into the Perv part of the brain after reading this...
I'm not slow...I'm retarded...oh wait that does not make me sound good or nice
Maybe you need to use a dry heat to start houses on fire??
Ironically, I can't login to facebook, yet I can still do this...sometimes Facebook makes me want to cry...or punch Facebook right in the nose.
Started the early morning/late night with some Pantera. Then some Puya & now some Sepultura, its been a good music early morning/late night
HOLY CRAP!!! I'M OLD!!! Stupid white hairs growing...I even tried doing the myspace posing to hide them...stupid getting older...well let's see how long this pic stays up before I get sick of my face...
"Never walk away from a fight thats worth fighting...Never hesitate when you know, you're gonna act...Never waste your words on a fool, you won't listen...Never sell your soul cause you'll never buy it...back"
I've come to realize that...me - sleep = silly emo, so to correct this equation...Me + sleep = NOT emo & I wanna be NOT emo. That's my plan
I decided to kick it old skool when it came to music today...I pulled out the old boom box and the book of CD's and on this chilly chilly day these are the bands that I have been kicking it with so far today...Type-O Negative - Bloody Kisses, Love/Hate - Blackout in the Red Room, Slik Toxik - Doin' the Nasty, TUFF - What Comes Around Goes Around, Wildside - Under the Influence and XYZ - Hungry.
"Sometimes the mind, for reasons we don't necessarily understand, just decides to go to the store for a quart of milk."
"Watching football is like watching pornography. There's plenty of action, and I can't take my eyes off it, but when it's over, I wonder why the hell I spent an afternoon doing it."
There's something heart warming about reading a Tweet that simply says "Good Morning Sinners!"
"Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die."
thas right beee-yah-chess....that means i am mature.... :P...so take that
"Haven't trimmed my beard in so long that it's gone from Crackling Virility Hedge to Hobo Rape Thicket."
"Don’t kneel at my alter and then change your religion. It stings like a motherfucker.”
It's time for me to get some badly needed sleep. My insomnia is finally getting the beat down it deserves. Bon nuit mes amies, Bon nuit.
My IQ 173 beats Judith Polgar ( IQ=170 ), Albert Einstein ( IQ=160 ) and Bill Gates ( IQ=160 ). LMAO...yeah me smart...funny lil box that shows boobies say to me, Me am smart
Dishes and the kitchen are officially clean.....er than it was 30 minutes ago..heehee
Hello friends, cohorts and those undecided, Today I'm SMOOTH like a flat tire...all pretty on top and a let down on the bottom...
I'm trying to bribe a local law enforcement officer (he's my cousin) to let me hold his taser...he said "NO!!!" and it makes me sad
Hello my friends, cohorts and those that aren't either...Today I am smooth like an operator... a smooth operator, smooth operator, smooth operator.
and so the epic battle began...one man stood against insurmountable odds. With a reslove of steel forged in countless battles, he approaches the beast. He could smell the evil coming off of it like waves. He will be victorious. He has no choice. He's out of clean socks and unmentionables...damn the beast known as laundry...damn the beast.
I watched Leverage, The depths of awesomeness that is Leverage makes the Grand Canyon look like a crack in the sidewalk
I am KICKIN laundry behinds today...2 more loads and I am DONE!!!
Laundry's ass...OFFICIALLY KICKED!!! I even watched Daybreakers at the same time...Jose's ass...officially bored...I say wait for cable or at least as a free rental
LOL...ok...but I won't wash your unmentionables...and I don't fold clothes...except for towels, those I'll fold
"It occurred to me this morning, as I was pumping my milk whilst reading Twitter, my life would seem odd to the Amish."
"Everything right & wrong with America summed up in this slogan: 'A corndog is a hot dog in a delicious sweater.'"
Hello friends. cohorts and those undecided, Today I'm smooth like silk...the fake milk not the cocoons made by larvae
Hello friends. cohorts and those undecided, Today I'm smooth like the ground...now I wish everybody would get their damn pants off of me
Is Jesus Vampire Hunter still available on Netflix? I wanted to watch it, but I just couldn't force myself to
When people curse at me I just stare at them and after a few seconds, with "surprise" in my voice I go, 'Oh that's it? Sorry I thought you were going to be original. Sorry, I was giving you too much credit. My bad.'
"Since I am huge Dallas Cowboy fan, does that make me a Romo-sexual? Playoff football-I LOVE IT"
Hello my friends, cohorts, and those undecided...Today I am smooth like Jell-o, any Jell-o except Orange Jell-o. Orange Jell-o is gross.
Hello friends, cohorts and those undecided, Today I'm smooth like a root beer float...A&W root beer, not Barq's...NEVER BARQ"S!!!
"How come it's $2 for an In-n-out burger and $32 for a pilates class? You leave me with no choice..."
Why are Native Americans called Native Americans when they were Native before there was an America?
A small boy was lost at a large shopping mall. He approached a uniformed policeman and said, "I've lost my grandpa!" The cop asked, "What's he like?" The little boy replied, "Jack Daniels and women with big tits".
Nope, I can not see through people. I try and accept exactly what they show me. Sometimes it's good, other times not so much.
No I can't hide from myself...I have tried and I always come to the same conclusion...apparently I'm a really good tracker because I find myself every time.
"a pharmaceutical laced touch to combat the unfriendly touch of time...and memories."
I rarely feel lost, more like misplaced in familiar surroundings. Like a smile on a tear stained face. I always found that disturbing. Or I could be missing, without a trace. Running from the hand I'm holding. I rarely feel lost. But sometimes, I wish I was escaping the thoughts in my head that need erasing. Or it could be that I'm not lost at all, it's just that I haven't been found yet.
Your words are like scalpels, cutting through the pristine to expose the the torment that lies just below the skin...thank you for sharing.
"Your enemy is never a villain in his own eyes. Keep this in mind; it may offer a way to make him your friend. If not, you can kill him without hate--and quickly."
Thank you for putting into words, the desolation some of us feel often.
I believe that we are supposed to remember the joy of youth and embrace life with the same fervor. I hope that the lessons of youth have taught us which path to take. I pray that the dreams of youth continue to fuel the people we have become. I believe that acting like children is never the problem. I believe that acting childish is.
Your words, carefully crafted as they are, continue to open my eyes to new perspectives through your perceptions.
My dark and stormy night was, an insanely humid day, when others lost faith and trust in the man I was and for the first time I saw the sickened creature hiding behind the facade of my creation.
..What do I know of Life?
Life is...
just, unjust, difficult and easy
fair, unfair, spiteful and forgiving
too long, too short, finished or unfinished
A collection of moments strung together in a fragile mosaic
the past we reflect on, the present that passes by
where you started and where you end up
the dreams we strive and hope
beautiful, ugly, joyous, tragic
Life is...
What do I know of Life.
I believe no memory good or bad is ever truly forgotten or erased. To dwell on either is akin to swimming in the vastness of the ocean drowning in glory days or in moments of misery. But every new experience whether good or bad keeps you moving, towards the shores of living
They could accomplish everything they have ever wanted to do and their life would never be complete. That is the curse of those that spend their time looking towards the heavens and not on the path at their feet.
I welcome those negative people with open arms. If it wasn't for all the people who have told me what I couldn't do, then I wouldn't have tried so hard to prove them wrong. And I wouldn't have known what I had been capable of all this time.
I am saddened by the gifts I'll never get to give to the person that "was not there"...and thank you for reminding me...that I am not the only one who feels this way
"For newcomers, Warren's Rule: if Warren has been awake less than 2 hours, it is Morning, no matter what the clock says."
Hello my friends, cohorts and those yet undecided, Today I'm smooth...And It's just like the ocean, Under the moon, Well it's the same as the emotion that I get from you, You got the kinda loving that can be so smooth : )
Hello my friends, cohorts and those yet undecided, Today I', smooth like Superman, only with a towel as a cape, and underwear on the inside.
Hello friends, cohort, and those still undecided,Today I'm smooth...Like the Ability to lose the power of speech...
Her: So what's your name?
Me: He...Uh...Heh...heheheheheheheh
Hello my friends, cohorts & those yet undecided, Today I'm smooth like Batman...only not filled with angst, a little doughy, not in peak physical condition, goes to bed by midnight, not rich, and has no cool toys. But other than that, just like Batman.
Sadly you know those biscuits in the exploding paper tube...all of a sudden I know what I would look like in spandex....*SHUDDER*
Hello my friends, cohorts and those still undecided...today I'm smooth like ice... Ice ice baby vanilla, Ice ice baby (oh-oh) vanilla, Ice ice baby vanilla, Ice ice baby vanilla ice, Yo man let's get out of here, Word to your mother, Ice ice baby too cold, Ice ice baby too cold too cold
Hello my friends. cohorts and those still undecided...Today I'm smooth...like butter...on fresh from the oven banana bread...mmmm fresh and hot banana bread
Hello my friends, cohorts and those still undecided...today I'm smooth like a pick up line...
Me: Hi, so what's your name?
Her: Ida
Me: Ida?
Her: Ida beat your ass, but I don't hit girls!
Jul 6, 2010
MOVIE REVIEWS 18
You know what has always bugged me? Movie reviews that take a "I'm so much smarter than you" route. Every movie review I have ever read takes this approach. They sit there and with a fine tooth comb and condemn every aspect of the movie or they praise the intellectual aspects of this cinematic experience.
Me, I just want a simple review. Did the movie achieve it's goal. How was the acting? Was the script/story any good. Was the movie entertaining. Add a positive comment. Add a negative comment. Finally make a simple scale and rate that movie accordingly.
It's not asking for much.
Reading a movie review shouldn't have to be a chore.
So let's make that scale
1. Punch me in the FACE, because that's gonna be better than this movie.
2. I will never watch the movie again
3. Did I actually pay to see this?
4. I wish I saw it on cable.
5. I'll only watch it if its free on cable.
6. Can't find the remote...so I guess I'll watch this
7. This is better then the other stuff that's on.
8. I will watch the movie again
9. I CAN'T WAIT to watch the movie again
10. This movie WILL be owned, in any form because it's that damn good!!.
Now let's review some movies...
KNIGHT AND DAY
I went in expecting nothing. I got a romantic comedy with tons of action. It's like they wanted to make a movie like Jerry Mcguire and then give it Mission Impossible action. Which it succeeds in doing. It's not a great movie, but it's fun, sweet, funny and it doesn't leave you feeling like you wasted time or money.
The story is OK, the acting is average, the plot line is pretty standard and there are no "WOW" moments. This is a movie that is carried entirely by the charm of of the characters played by Cameron Diaz and Tom Cruise.
7/10
SPLICE
I have been itching to see this movie since I saw a trailer for it a year or so ago. It looked like it was going to be a great sci-fi horror flick.
What I got was a decent Sci-fi movie, that I had already seen. The special effects were good and so was the acting but the story wasn't solid and the whole movie predictable. You could actually physically count all of the sci-fi cliches that were evident. I was completely let down.
3/10
THE LAST AIRBENDER
For those who don't know, this was a cartoon on Nickelodean called Avatar:The Last Airbender, and it was very good. On Nickelaodean the story had three seasons to tell the story of Aang, Katara, Sokka and Zuko. Since each season had 20 or so episodes, this made for quite an epic series filled with interesting characters, places and events. Each of these moments were integral to the story and the characters. It helped move the story while showing charcter growth. I am a big fan of the animated series.
However, when you try and squeeze 5 hours of animation (20 episodes) into a 1 hour and 43 minutes, you lose a lot of the things that made the series so special. They don't have time to develop the emotions, you can't see the personal growth of the characters and it lost a lot of the innocence that really allowed you to connect with the story and the characters.
The special effects were amazing and the actors that were chosen for their specific roles were visually almost perfect. (Although I did have a complaint with the actor who played Uncle Iroh but that's more of a visual problem, because the actor did a great job in portraying the caring uncle.) But the story was rushed and felt choppy. There was no charcter developement. The whole movie felt forced. This is a movie that could have greatly benefitted from the 150 minute time limit, but that is not the case.
4/10 and it really pains me to give it such a low rating.
THE TWILIGHT SAGA - ECLIPSE
OK. I have to admit of the three so far this movies pretty good. Albeit the "does she or doesn't she" gets old pretty quick, this one actually kept my attention. The story is pretty straight forward with no real surprises. There are some action sequences, some foreshadowing, some teen romance, some verbal tete a tete and the gratuitous "funny" moments. The special effects are quite stunning and again not over done. Many of the characters finally get some back stories. And for once, this didn't feel like a chapter. It actually felt like a stand alone movie, and for the most part it is. It actually does quite a good job of referencing a lot of information from the first two movies, without the need to see them, because the references themselves are self explanatory.
Overall I actually enjoyed this movie.
8/10
Jun 16, 2010
MOVIE REVIEW 16
You know what has always bugged me? Movie reviews that take a "I'm so much smarter than you" route. Every movie review I have ever read takes this approach. They sit there and with a fine tooth comb and condemn every aspect of the movie or they praise the intellectual aspects of this cinematic experience.
Me, I just want a simple review. Did the movie achieve it's goal. How was the acting? Was the script/story any good. Was the movie entertaining. Add a positive comment. Add a negative comment. Finally make a simple scale and rate that movie accordingly.
It's not asking for much.
Reading a movie review shouldn't have to be a chore.
So let's make that scale
1. Punch me in the FACE, because that's gonna be better than this movie.
2. I will never watch the movie again
3. Did I actually pay to see this?
4. I wish I saw it on cable.
5. I'll only watch it if its free on cable.
6. Can't find the remote...so I guess I'll watch this
7. This is better then the other stuff that's on.
8. I will watch the movie again
9. I CAN'T WAIT to watch the movie again
10. This movie WILL be owned, in any form because it's that damn good!!.
Now let's review some movies...
The Karate Kid (2010)
Let me start by saying I am a fan of all the KK movies. I am a child of the 80's so the original will have a special place in my memories, as do a lot of the iconic 80's films. But with all that said, the Original KK was predictable, the acting was weak, the story was the usual 80's coming of age storyline and the one endearing factor was Mr Miyagi.
The updated version holds true to the original story, where the there's a new kid getting bullied and has to learn to stand up for himself, with the help of a wise mentor.
The story was good, the acting average (although seeing Jackie Chan do something that required more acting and less action was a pleasant surprise) the plot predictable and the characters weren't always believable.
This version of the movie, does a better job at fleshing out the story, it also does a lot of subtle and wonderful homages to the original. If you're looking for academy award winning material, you won;t find it here. What you will find is a pleasant, inspirational and moral family movie.
7/10
Prince of Persia - The Sands of Time
The fact that this is based on a video game leaves me a little worried. For some reason, when it comes to movies based on video games (with the exception of the Resident Evil movies) are always lacking in substance and story.
I was pleasantly surprised by this movie. It your usual summer blockbuster with lots of special effects and your all start cast. But what I wasn't expecting was that it had a pretty decent story. The story was pretty good, the acting was very good albeit they had a strong cast of very good actors, the storyline lends itself into making this a very a profitable and multimovie franchise and the special effects were amazing.
This is of course an action adventure movie, and in and of itself , doesn't have many surprises. But it is a fun ride from beginning to end.
7/10
Youth in Revolt
Although an entertaining film, I never know when or if I should ever take this movie seriously. Micheal Cera does a wonderful job of playing dual roles in this movie, but even when he's being his "bad" self he's still endearing.
Like I said it is an enjoyable film, with a coherent storyline, decent plot, wonderful actors and believable (although slightly exaggerated) characters. This movie does a great job of being both innocent and pompous with situations that are quite over the top, while being tongue in cheek during the same situations.
But I'm still not sure whether I actually liked the movie...and I'm not sure whether or not I will watch the movie again, but I was entertained...if not a little befuddled.
6/10
Iron Man 2
I wanted to love this movie. I thoroughly enjoyed the first one and I love everything that Robert Downey Jr has been in. but I felt underwhelmed by Iron Man 2. The special effects were amazing and the acting was above average. But in the end I just didn't care. I had no emotional investment in the battel between good and evil. It didn't matter to me who would win the "epic" battle.
Although the 100 MPH banter between Pepper and Tony almost mad the movie for me...almost.
When super hero movies set the bar high for themselves, sometimes, they just don't reach that level again. And in my humble opinion, Iron Man 2 fell just short of greatness.
5/10
Me, I just want a simple review. Did the movie achieve it's goal. How was the acting? Was the script/story any good. Was the movie entertaining. Add a positive comment. Add a negative comment. Finally make a simple scale and rate that movie accordingly.
It's not asking for much.
Reading a movie review shouldn't have to be a chore.
So let's make that scale
1. Punch me in the FACE, because that's gonna be better than this movie.
2. I will never watch the movie again
3. Did I actually pay to see this?
4. I wish I saw it on cable.
5. I'll only watch it if its free on cable.
6. Can't find the remote...so I guess I'll watch this
7. This is better then the other stuff that's on.
8. I will watch the movie again
9. I CAN'T WAIT to watch the movie again
10. This movie WILL be owned, in any form because it's that damn good!!.
Now let's review some movies...
The Karate Kid (2010)
Let me start by saying I am a fan of all the KK movies. I am a child of the 80's so the original will have a special place in my memories, as do a lot of the iconic 80's films. But with all that said, the Original KK was predictable, the acting was weak, the story was the usual 80's coming of age storyline and the one endearing factor was Mr Miyagi.
The updated version holds true to the original story, where the there's a new kid getting bullied and has to learn to stand up for himself, with the help of a wise mentor.
The story was good, the acting average (although seeing Jackie Chan do something that required more acting and less action was a pleasant surprise) the plot predictable and the characters weren't always believable.
This version of the movie, does a better job at fleshing out the story, it also does a lot of subtle and wonderful homages to the original. If you're looking for academy award winning material, you won;t find it here. What you will find is a pleasant, inspirational and moral family movie.
7/10
Prince of Persia - The Sands of Time
The fact that this is based on a video game leaves me a little worried. For some reason, when it comes to movies based on video games (with the exception of the Resident Evil movies) are always lacking in substance and story.
I was pleasantly surprised by this movie. It your usual summer blockbuster with lots of special effects and your all start cast. But what I wasn't expecting was that it had a pretty decent story. The story was pretty good, the acting was very good albeit they had a strong cast of very good actors, the storyline lends itself into making this a very a profitable and multimovie franchise and the special effects were amazing.
This is of course an action adventure movie, and in and of itself , doesn't have many surprises. But it is a fun ride from beginning to end.
7/10
Youth in Revolt
Although an entertaining film, I never know when or if I should ever take this movie seriously. Micheal Cera does a wonderful job of playing dual roles in this movie, but even when he's being his "bad" self he's still endearing.
Like I said it is an enjoyable film, with a coherent storyline, decent plot, wonderful actors and believable (although slightly exaggerated) characters. This movie does a great job of being both innocent and pompous with situations that are quite over the top, while being tongue in cheek during the same situations.
But I'm still not sure whether I actually liked the movie...and I'm not sure whether or not I will watch the movie again, but I was entertained...if not a little befuddled.
6/10
Iron Man 2
I wanted to love this movie. I thoroughly enjoyed the first one and I love everything that Robert Downey Jr has been in. but I felt underwhelmed by Iron Man 2. The special effects were amazing and the acting was above average. But in the end I just didn't care. I had no emotional investment in the battel between good and evil. It didn't matter to me who would win the "epic" battle.
Although the 100 MPH banter between Pepper and Tony almost mad the movie for me...almost.
When super hero movies set the bar high for themselves, sometimes, they just don't reach that level again. And in my humble opinion, Iron Man 2 fell just short of greatness.
5/10
Jun 5, 2010
PAUSING FOR STATION IDENTIFICATION
WELCOME TO "MANUEL IN A DIGITAL WORLD."
THIS IS MY BLOG.
I WRITE HERE.
IT'S USUALLY NOT THAT GOOD.
BUT, IT IS MY BABY.
AND I AM IT'S WEIRD MOTHER.
THIS IS ME. SORTA.
I'M JOSE.
I DO SPEND SOME TIME ON THE INTERNET
AMONG OTHER THINGS I AM A BLOGGER
I REALLY AM
OK, I'M NOT A GREAT BLOGGER
BUT I KEEP TRYING
BUT I CAN BE FOUND ALL OVER THE PLACE
FOR EXAMPLE I CAN BE FOUND ON
FACEBOOK
http://is.gd/cCpXR
AND ON
TWITTER
http://twitter.com/jose_says
I ENJOY SPENDING TIME HERE
WATCH MOVIES ONLINE
http://www.movies-links.tv/users/jose_says/
AND WATCHING TV HERE
HULU
http://is.gd/cCrsU
THIS IS A GUILTY PLEASURE
YOUTUBE
http://www.youtube.com/user/TheDirtZero
AND THIS IS A PLACE I PUT PICTURES
...sometime's. It's been a little while but it will get updated soon...
PHOTOS
http://coacevisual.blogspot.com/
AND THIS IS WHERE
EVERYTHING I'VE EVER WRITTEN GOES
http://coacearchive.blogspot.com/
SO WELCOME TO "MANUEL IN A DIGITAL WORLD."
THIS IS MY BLOG.
THIS IS WHERE I WRITE.
THIS IS MY BLOG.
I WRITE HERE.
IT'S USUALLY NOT THAT GOOD.
BUT, IT IS MY BABY.
AND I AM IT'S WEIRD MOTHER.
THIS IS ME. SORTA.
I'M JOSE.
I DO SPEND SOME TIME ON THE INTERNET
AMONG OTHER THINGS I AM A BLOGGER
I REALLY AM
OK, I'M NOT A GREAT BLOGGER
BUT I KEEP TRYING
BUT I CAN BE FOUND ALL OVER THE PLACE
FOR EXAMPLE I CAN BE FOUND ON
http://is.gd/cCpXR
AND ON
http://twitter.com/jose_says
I ENJOY SPENDING TIME HERE
WATCH MOVIES ONLINE
http://www.movies-links.tv/users/jose_says/
AND WATCHING TV HERE
HULU
http://is.gd/cCrsU
THIS IS A GUILTY PLEASURE
YOUTUBE
http://www.youtube.com/user/TheDirtZero
AND THIS IS A PLACE I PUT PICTURES
...sometime's. It's been a little while but it will get updated soon...
PHOTOS
http://coacevisual.blogspot.com/
AND THIS IS WHERE
EVERYTHING I'VE EVER WRITTEN GOES
http://coacearchive.blogspot.com/
SO WELCOME TO "MANUEL IN A DIGITAL WORLD."
THIS IS MY BLOG.
THIS IS WHERE I WRITE.
Jun 4, 2010
MODEL PRISONER
My cage has no walls
no bars.
no windows
no doors.
But it is still a cage.
It is not made of iron
steel
glass
or wood.
But it is still a cage.
It has no visiting hours
no visitors.
But it is still a cage.
It has no bunk
sink
toilet.
But it is still a cage.
There are no guards
cell mates
wardens.
But it is still a cage.
There are no parole boards.
It has no early release for good behavior.
My cage has one captive
prisoner
inmate.
Just one.
Me.
And I am a model prisoner.
May 31, 2010
ONCE MORE UNTO THE BREACH, DEAR FRIENDS, ONCE MORE
It's been a long time since I sat behind this keyboard and actually wrote something...or anything that could be construed as new. Or at least anything that wasn't more than a line or two long. OK, that's not entirely true either. I'm in the middle of writing a few stories, that I have hit a slight mental block on, but will be posted when they are done.
But I haven't written a blog in quite a while.
I, in the last few...wait a second...umm do any of you even know anything about me?
Oh I know there a few lovely ladies have been on me to start writing again, and thank you for the emails, they made me feel special and filled me with happiness. And one gentleman who has wondered where I have been, and I promise you all that I will never be away for that long again.
Let's answer a few of those inquiries first...
I'm Jose and this is my blog and at this exact moment in time, I am sitting in a smokey room and the night is literally about to end. Thank you Bon Jovi for that little bit of prose. I know one person in here and the rest of the room is filled with people I have never met before. The smell of stale beer, cheap cologne and way too much perfume assaults my sense of smell like the battle of Normandy. I have a diet coke, a pack of smokes, a fully charged laptop and compulsion to write. I don't have any clue what it is I am going to write, but here I sit with my fingers doing the Elaine dance all over the keyboard.
I'm a recovering alcoholic and in just a few weeks I will have spent one year sober. Which is probably the only positive thing I have done in my life. It doesn't mean I haven't tried to do positive things before, just that when your looking at the world through the distorted bottom of a bottle, it's pretty hard to see things clearly. It's even harder to see what kind of person you are or can be. Instead you have to look back through the years of devastation and self pity to get a clear picture, and it's never pretty. Although it is eye opening and quite a humbling experience.
I'm also going through a divorce. Don't feel bad about this. I finally came to terms with it in April after being separated for a year. I don't feel bad that my marriage ended but I do mourn the fact that I lost a really good friend. Although I am happy that she will finally be able to find a partner and live a life that will make her happy.
Less then a week ago there was a girl who I thought was perfect for me, well she ended our blossoming relationship. Mainly because I am overweight. But one point this relationship drove home is the simple fact that if you can't be with me during my low points, you don't deserve me when I reach my high points. What bugs me about this that in the beginning, it wasn't an issue, but through a Dear John letter it was. For someone who claimed to always be honest, she failed and quite spectacularly at that.
I should be really upset about the pettiness of it all, but it proved to me two things.
First that I am ready to start a relationship with someone who is willing to be completely honest and second, that honesty is something that is proven not promised. Those are some amazing lessons to learn, and I am very glad I did.
That's been my last couple of months.
Now the near future has a few more changes happening. My baby sister is getting married to a good guy. That makes me very happy.
This just goes to prove that life is constantly evolving and so am I. Normally, all of these things would have sent me down the road of righteous rage and justifiable anger but it seems it takes a lot more than this to get my hackles up nowadays.
Somehow, someway I have found some peace of mind and the riptide of anger that fueled me for most of my life seems to be less and less of an issue.
So with all that said, thank you for being patient with me. I've spent to long away from you all and from myself. I am a writer, and I will no longer deny myself that honest truth. I may never be a published writer nor will I ever be paid for this, but by god, this makes me happy. And It's about time I made myself happy...
Not that way you perverts...
LOL
With all that said, I am Jose and this is my blog. Welcome and welcome back...
But I haven't written a blog in quite a while.
I, in the last few...wait a second...umm do any of you even know anything about me?
Oh I know there a few lovely ladies have been on me to start writing again, and thank you for the emails, they made me feel special and filled me with happiness. And one gentleman who has wondered where I have been, and I promise you all that I will never be away for that long again.
Let's answer a few of those inquiries first...
I'm Jose and this is my blog and at this exact moment in time, I am sitting in a smokey room and the night is literally about to end. Thank you Bon Jovi for that little bit of prose. I know one person in here and the rest of the room is filled with people I have never met before. The smell of stale beer, cheap cologne and way too much perfume assaults my sense of smell like the battle of Normandy. I have a diet coke, a pack of smokes, a fully charged laptop and compulsion to write. I don't have any clue what it is I am going to write, but here I sit with my fingers doing the Elaine dance all over the keyboard.
I'm a recovering alcoholic and in just a few weeks I will have spent one year sober. Which is probably the only positive thing I have done in my life. It doesn't mean I haven't tried to do positive things before, just that when your looking at the world through the distorted bottom of a bottle, it's pretty hard to see things clearly. It's even harder to see what kind of person you are or can be. Instead you have to look back through the years of devastation and self pity to get a clear picture, and it's never pretty. Although it is eye opening and quite a humbling experience.
I'm also going through a divorce. Don't feel bad about this. I finally came to terms with it in April after being separated for a year. I don't feel bad that my marriage ended but I do mourn the fact that I lost a really good friend. Although I am happy that she will finally be able to find a partner and live a life that will make her happy.
Less then a week ago there was a girl who I thought was perfect for me, well she ended our blossoming relationship. Mainly because I am overweight. But one point this relationship drove home is the simple fact that if you can't be with me during my low points, you don't deserve me when I reach my high points. What bugs me about this that in the beginning, it wasn't an issue, but through a Dear John letter it was. For someone who claimed to always be honest, she failed and quite spectacularly at that.
I should be really upset about the pettiness of it all, but it proved to me two things.
First that I am ready to start a relationship with someone who is willing to be completely honest and second, that honesty is something that is proven not promised. Those are some amazing lessons to learn, and I am very glad I did.
That's been my last couple of months.
Now the near future has a few more changes happening. My baby sister is getting married to a good guy. That makes me very happy.
This just goes to prove that life is constantly evolving and so am I. Normally, all of these things would have sent me down the road of righteous rage and justifiable anger but it seems it takes a lot more than this to get my hackles up nowadays.
Somehow, someway I have found some peace of mind and the riptide of anger that fueled me for most of my life seems to be less and less of an issue.
So with all that said, thank you for being patient with me. I've spent to long away from you all and from myself. I am a writer, and I will no longer deny myself that honest truth. I may never be a published writer nor will I ever be paid for this, but by god, this makes me happy. And It's about time I made myself happy...
Not that way you perverts...
LOL
With all that said, I am Jose and this is my blog. Welcome and welcome back...
May 2, 2010
MOVIE REVIEWS 15
You know what has always bugged me? Movie reviews that take a "I'm so much smarter than you" route. Every movie review I have ever read takes this approach. They sit there and with a fine tooth comb and condemn every aspect of the movie or they praise the intellectual aspects of this cinematic experience.
Me, I just want a simple review. Did the movie achieve it's goal. How was the acting? Was the script/story any good. Was the movie entertaining. Add a positive comment. Add a negative comment. Finally make a simple scale and rate that movie accordingly.
It's not asking for much.
Reading a movie review shouldn't have to be a chore.
So let's make that scale
1. Punch me in the FACE, because that's gonna be better than this movie.
2. I will never watch the movie again
3. Did I actually pay to see this?
4. I wish I saw it on cable.
5. I'll only watch it if its free on cable.
6. Can't find the remote...so I guess I'll watch this
7. This is better then the other stuff that's on.
8. I will watch the movie again
9. I CAN'T WAIT to watch the movie again
10. This movie WILL be owned, in any form because it's that damn good!!.
Now let's review some movies...
Kick-Ass
10 shades of brilliant!! This move does in fact KICK ASS!! Solid story, well paced plot, just enough humor, romance, and corniness to off set the large levels of ultra violence. Solid and consistent acting from each character, and each one almost believable. From beginning to end, this movie creates one response after another from laugh out loud moments to OMG!! moments.
10/10
but if you are not a fan of ultra violence you should stay away from this movie, because it has it in spades.
How To Train Your Dragon
I had no expectations with this movie. None at all. I enjoyed it all. The story was well written, and the plot moved flowed fairly well. They could have spent a little more on character development but you got enough so that it didn't hinder the story. Although I am quickly becoming less of a fan of the gross anatomy deformity present in just about all CGI movies. The movie had heart and quirkiness without it ever detracting from the overall feel of the movie.
My only real complaint is the jerky camera movements that have become popular to signify dramatic fight scenes, doesn't translate very well in an animated movie.
But this movie is a lot of fun.
9/10
Clash of the Titans (2010)
How can you possibly screw up such a simple story? How can you make a movie that is damn near visually perfect, and have such a dull story? How can you take the caliber of acting talent that was present and literally make it disappear?
I don't know either but this remake did it.
I want to sit here and just complain, and criticize the movie, but I won't do that.
3/10 and that's ONLY because visually, this move is amazing...
The Losers
Wow. Wow! WOW!!! What a fun action movie! From the beginning. this movie had drama, was action filled and laugh out loud funny. Even the cliched moments felt refreshing. I actually held my breath during some of the intense moments. The story itself could have been a little more fluid and the characters a little more developed...but over all a really fun way to spend 90 minutes of my life. Here's hoping they continue this as a franchise, because there's still a lot more stories they can tell.
8/10
Me, I just want a simple review. Did the movie achieve it's goal. How was the acting? Was the script/story any good. Was the movie entertaining. Add a positive comment. Add a negative comment. Finally make a simple scale and rate that movie accordingly.
It's not asking for much.
Reading a movie review shouldn't have to be a chore.
So let's make that scale
1. Punch me in the FACE, because that's gonna be better than this movie.
2. I will never watch the movie again
3. Did I actually pay to see this?
4. I wish I saw it on cable.
5. I'll only watch it if its free on cable.
6. Can't find the remote...so I guess I'll watch this
7. This is better then the other stuff that's on.
8. I will watch the movie again
9. I CAN'T WAIT to watch the movie again
10. This movie WILL be owned, in any form because it's that damn good!!.
Now let's review some movies...
Kick-Ass
10 shades of brilliant!! This move does in fact KICK ASS!! Solid story, well paced plot, just enough humor, romance, and corniness to off set the large levels of ultra violence. Solid and consistent acting from each character, and each one almost believable. From beginning to end, this movie creates one response after another from laugh out loud moments to OMG!! moments.
10/10
but if you are not a fan of ultra violence you should stay away from this movie, because it has it in spades.
How To Train Your Dragon
I had no expectations with this movie. None at all. I enjoyed it all. The story was well written, and the plot moved flowed fairly well. They could have spent a little more on character development but you got enough so that it didn't hinder the story. Although I am quickly becoming less of a fan of the gross anatomy deformity present in just about all CGI movies. The movie had heart and quirkiness without it ever detracting from the overall feel of the movie.
My only real complaint is the jerky camera movements that have become popular to signify dramatic fight scenes, doesn't translate very well in an animated movie.
But this movie is a lot of fun.
9/10
Clash of the Titans (2010)
How can you possibly screw up such a simple story? How can you make a movie that is damn near visually perfect, and have such a dull story? How can you take the caliber of acting talent that was present and literally make it disappear?
I don't know either but this remake did it.
I want to sit here and just complain, and criticize the movie, but I won't do that.
3/10 and that's ONLY because visually, this move is amazing...
The Losers
Wow. Wow! WOW!!! What a fun action movie! From the beginning. this movie had drama, was action filled and laugh out loud funny. Even the cliched moments felt refreshing. I actually held my breath during some of the intense moments. The story itself could have been a little more fluid and the characters a little more developed...but over all a really fun way to spend 90 minutes of my life. Here's hoping they continue this as a franchise, because there's still a lot more stories they can tell.
8/10
Apr 25, 2010
MILK AND SUGAR WITH YOUR INSANITY?
After sharing the Disappointment Saga (don't worry, more chapters are coming) I was feeling a bit nostalgic. So I went back and started looking through the ARCHIVES.
Wow!! Heh!! OMG!! So for the next week...I'm going to be sharing some of my favorite past entries...and basically giving you directors commentary. Think of it as a lowbudget dvd special feature...
Wow!! Heh!! OMG!! So for the next week...I'm going to be sharing some of my favorite past entries...and basically giving you directors commentary. Think of it as a lowbudget dvd special feature...
This story was of course written before the end of my marriage, so that is why the editors note reads the way it does...at the time I had all my stories "proofread" by her, and she would add the occasional little comment. Most times it added that final bit of flair that I love my blogs to have. That's why it stayed.
But it really is OK...my life has recently taken a bizarre turn which I will be talking about in the very near future.
So after all that talking, let me share with you...
MILK AND SUGAR WITH YOUR INSANITY?
QUOTE OF THE DAY:
Albert Einstein
I believe there is some quote or proverb that says something about life and experience being two of the greatest teachers we can learn from.
But when it comes to those particular lessons, I must have either skipped out of class or had a substitute teacher.
This journey starts way back in the first grade. I was rummaging around the pantry for some tasty goodies. I noticed a shiny wrapped object, which warranted further investigation. Upon further investigation, what I discovered was akin to finding a light saber.
I have always been a firm believer in the "if it looks like (fill in the blank) and smells like (fill in the blank), then by all evidence presented it should be (fill in the blank)."
Baking chocolate does not subscribe to this philosophy. As a matter of fact, baking chocolate laughs in the face of that philosophy. It mocks it while wearing monkey pants. But I believe I am digressing.
It smells like a delicious chocolate bar. It looks like one of the biggest chocolate bars I had ever seen. So with my first grade understanding of these simple and basic truths, this was going to be one of the greatest chocolate experiences in my life.
I was mistaken.
I can still remember acrid bitterness after the first three chews. The conflicting moments between my taste buds screaming "THIS IS NOT CHOCOLATE...SPIT IT OUT NOW!!!!" while my brain was pleading in a whiny tone to my taste buds "BUT IT LOOKED AND SMELLED LIKE CHOCOLATE! IT'S NOT MY FAULT."
Luckily I had the wherewithal to trust my taste buds and make a mad dash to the sink where I proceeded to spit the remains out.
You know those moments alarming clarity that seem to sneak up on you? I am about to have two of those moments.
1. I had not yet learned the fine art of spitting.
2. I couldn't reach the sink properly.
As a five, almost six, year old lad, I was a little bit on the pudgy and short side. On a good day and with some planning I could do the infamous run and jump that all young lads and lassies do when there are vertical obstacles.
This would not be one of my good days.
Luckily, the apartment my mom and I lived in had a very tiny kitchen so I was able to take a step, grab a chair, pull it over, climb on it and do that dribble spit thing that children are oft to do, into the sink.
There was a moment of illumination while leaning over the sink and spitting out the bitterness that had overwhelmed my unsuspecting tongue; my mouth had been open during my baking chocolate ordeal.
Allow me to paint by number a picture for you. As I stare at the mess in the sink, on my shirt, shoes, on the chair, and all over the floor I begin to cry, which wakes up my mother. Her first reaction is of course to be quite upset, but settled down pretty quick. There was no parental punishment to be dealt out this time.
My mother believed I had learned from my mistake.
I would prove her wrong.
It happened while I was living in El Paso, Texas when I was 8 years old and I had a hankering for something sweet. So again I explore the pantry. And again I find a chocolate bar. I had this tingly sensation that I had been at this crossroads before.
I chalked it up to guilt.
Until I took that first bite.
My fourth grade mind vividly remembered my first grade experience. BUT this time things would be different.
First I remembered to keep my mouth shut, tight.
Secondly I was finally tall enough to be able to spit out the horrendous reminder into the sink.
Third I had mastered the spitting technique. I had actually won a few spitting contests on the playground during recess.
Of course this would be the exact moment my mom would walk in the door.
With a mixture of horror, wonder, and disappointment she asked me why I didn't learn my lesson the first time I had done this.
I simply said "I just thought the other one was a bad batch of chocolate."
The horror and wonder left her face. The disappointment lingered while she said "I sure hope you learned your lesson this time."
I would prove her wrong.
Again.
I was a senior in high school and I was taking a home economics cooking class. The teacher had on some occasion brought in chocolate treats for her students. We had broken up into cooking teams and she starts to hand out some chocolate bars. Ms. Teacher and I were on the same page of the book, although her interpretation was very different than mine.
She begins to say "This is baking chocolate, and not very good to eat."
I heard 'This is..' as I was biting into what is now my third foray into the consumption of this deceptive food product.
Only the look of pain on my face gave any indication that I had done something stupid.
It became felony stupid when I decided to tell my mom about my home economics experience. This time her expression was simply disbelief, mixed with a touch of "he seems so bright, and then he does this".
"Are you ever going to learn?" my mother asked me. I don't know which was more humbling. Her asking me that question or the fact that you could almost hear the last embers of hope quickly growing cold.
"Yes mother. I have learned my lesson."
Seven years later I see it in the pantry.
AGAIN.
I walk away.
I know it tastes bad.
I know the disappointment I will suffer if I take a bite.
I remember first grade and the shame.
I remember fourth grade and embarrassment.
I remember 12th grade and the look I got.
Somehow with all this going through my wasted grey matter, I somehow forget that it tastes like absolute shite, I grab it and take a bite. I, of course, proceed to spit it out.
This time I do not tell my mother. I don't want to hear her heart break.
Now what does all of this have to do with today.
Yesterday, I was helping my mom clean out her pantry. Take a guess what was in there.
I am sitting here typing out this story to remind myself that taking a bite of unsweetened baking chocolate is not a good idea.
Yet...
I wonder...
Editor's note:
I, the wife, just read this. I guess I'd better hide the baking chocolate I bought this afternoon for Christmas cookies. Otherwise, I have a sneaking suspicion it will go missing, and I'll never EVER know where it went.
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