VALENTINE'S DAY ,sure it's late, but it's worth it.

OK. I get it.

Some of you don't like Valentine's Day.

I understand.

What I understand least about this particular topic, is the reasons why some of you hate this "holiday."

So I (in my infinite lack of wisdom and tact), will sit here, type away and make some lame jokes, so that I might understand your feelings.

OK?

1. He/she doesn't know what type of gift/goodies to give or are desired.

If you're with someone, and you love them it doesn't matter what you get them. That kind of thinking is like beating a dead horse. Sure it may make you feel good and the "squish" sounds may be kind of cool, but ultimately all you'll be doing is attracting flies and getting nowhere fast.

If they like flowers/plants buy them one.

If they have a sweet tooth...by all that is good and holy get them some chocolate.

If they like jewelery AND you can afford it, get them a little trinket.

Hell most guys would be happy with a decent DVD/Video Game/CD. Price $10-$25.

Most women would be happy with a card and some kind of flower. Price $10-$25.

Shopping is done.

Now on to more important things. Whether to go out for dinner and entertainment or stay home and cuddle. Either way it's a win win situation.

HOWEVER--If your entire relationship hinders on the perfect gift, get the hell out of dodge. Run to the hills. Get to steppin'.

No relationship should ever be so fragile as to hang on the balance of a gift of any kind. Which pretty much means you think you are driving down a 2-way street, but sadly it's a one way and if you look closely up ahead you can see that it dead ends.


2. It makes single people feel like losers because they are single.

Actually it's not this so-called holiday that makes people feel like losers. That particular piece of blame falls into the jurisdiction of...drum roll please...US. WE THE PEOPLE. Your peers.

This is true because no-one can make you feel more like crap than those you trust and love the most. So this goes out to all of you, The Friends/The Pals/The Chums who think they know better...

SHUT UP!!

Just because you're in a relationship, it doesn't make you any better than anyone else...EVER!

It also does not mean you have the ability to dispense advice like a seasoned veteran, it just means you were lucky to find someone who is willing to put up with you, for whatever reason they choose to call it.

This does not raise your status in the world. It does not elevate you or your wisdom.

It doesn't make you a better person in any way. It just makes you NOT single.

Just remember, you're only one word from being single again...and that word is "GOOD-BYE."


3. Valentine's Day is such an important holiday for couples.

OK, and anyone who believes this should be drawn and quartered. After being kicked in the Jimmy/Jane multiple times, with pointy boots/shoes.

WHY?

Because you are too stupid to breathe. You should not wait until Feb. 14th to tell anyone how you feel.

This should be done repeatedly, everyday and for no reason at all.

If you want to propose than propose. Doing it on a Hallmark holiday does NOT make it more romantic, it makes it cliche.

If Valentines day reminds you how special the one you're with is...end it right now. You should be reminded of this fact every time they breathe. Because, in all honesty, no one really needs any one person to live.

If you're happy with who you are, you don't need someone to else to define you.

Ever.