SPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAM II

So yesterday we talked about male/performance enhancement, how to date safer/smarter, more sex partners/orgasms/pleasure and watches.

Heh heh heh...you know typing it like that it just seems so silly. I mean what does male performance have to do with anything? I mean why does it matter if he's a early finisher? I mean apparently it still felt good to him. I mean he was able to finish.

What?

Say that again..."watch" doesn't fit? I mean of course watch doesn't fit, I was just testing you to see if you were paying attention. Thank goodness you were, because if you weren't I would have sent you back to read the previous blog again. But since you were paying attention shall we continue...

So now according to the spammers they think I need a new car. Well I happen to like my car. It's the car that I actually learned how much fun driving is. It fit's my lard ass in just fine and I know how she handles. I also know that soon she will be mine with no strings attached.

Stupid loan people.

Oh yeah...why do the spammers want me to get credit cards? I don't want credit cards. I'm an irresponsible man when it comes to credit cards. This I know. This my wife knows. So why is it that the credit card spammers keep trying to lead me down the dark path...again. I mean you don't have to lead me, I'll walk it myself. That's not an issue. I just wish they weren't so pushy. I'll walk that road to ruin in my pace, no need to push and/or shove. I'm waxing up the rocket sled that will take me to ruin as we speak.

Now here's another one.

Why do I need cash in 24 hours. I mean if I needed cash wouldn't I just go to the ATM? I mean that's just silly to wait 24 hours for money when I can go to an ATM and get cash in like 15 minutes. There's no need to fall for that one my friends.

You see...along with writing a blog, I'm also serving the public with useful information. Now why do I supply this service free of charge? Because that's just the way I roll.

Now these last two spam offers confused me the most. You see the first was one for the hottest ring tones. You know I was sitting at a Denny's with my wife the other day, and I asked her if she remembered the days when ringing phones sounded like phones? I mean sure they were a little bit annoying but it sure as Hades doesn't need thermal underwear, you were never confused by the rings.

I find it so confusing why a phone would ring with "Cold Hard Bitch" by Jet and the man responds with "Hi Darling."

Or one of my favorites "Bitch" by Meredith Brooks and the owner of the phone went, "Hey sis, whassup?"

I've also heard "I want a lover who won't drive me crazy,"(No honey, I'm leaving the office right now...I should be there in about 20 minutes) and "I'm all lit up again," (DUUUUUDE, yeah we are so going out, but dude you gotta get us hooked up.)

So why would I look at my emails for the hottest ring tones, if all they do is give away who is calling and why?

You never see that on the TV commercials. On the TV commercials not only do you get the hottest ring tones, but you get the coolest games and screen savers. Now I'll be honest it's the screen savers that's the selling point for me. I mean where else will you get a puppy licking your little phone screen if not from the people who offer the hottest ring tones/games/screen savers. Just saying.

Now this one is more of an annoyance.

I mean it is March on the planet Earth right? I'm not on warp speed and missed the winter did I? It is winter where you all are, right? I know there might not be any snow, but that doesn't change the fact that according to the calendar in the northern hemisphere that the seasons are pretty much running on track as they have for hundreds of years correct?

Than why am I being sent information asking me if I'm paying too much on my winter auto insurance? Wouldn't that information have been of more use back...umm..in..say October or November. I swear sometimes I think that the spammers are robots or programs that don't do any thinking for themselves.

They all seem to use the same opening message and I know I'm no marketing agent nor am I in advertising, but isn't the whole key to getting someone to look and want your product by making it unique? But when all you spamming people send out the same message in the subject line, well people will tend to ignore you. But that's just my two cents worth.