IT WAS FOR SCIENCE

I wanted a cigarette.

I have for the past 2 weeks.

Yesterday, I finally broke down.

I bought a pack.

Pall Mall Light 100's.

That used to be my brand.

Sat in the car.

Contemplated having one.

Finally, I said, "It's an experiment."

I opened the pack.

I took out a cigarette.

I lit it.

I smoked a cigarette.

It was awful.

The need to vomit was overpowering.

Did not vomit.

Later that day...

for some reason unknown to me

I did it again.

I took out another cigarette.

I lit it.

I smoked another cigarette.

It was awful.

The need to vomit was still overpowering.

Did not vomit.

I actually had a few more.

It was in the interest of science.

THESE ARE THE RESULTS OF MY EXPERIMENT

I have a headache that won't quit.

My throat hurts.

I feel nauseous.

My mouth tastes like the cats shat in there.

The pornado sanctum stinks.

My clothes stink.

My hair smells like bar room floor.

Overall I think that experiment went quite badly.

That officially cures my want of cigarette.