.png)
Jul 31, 2009
THE RETURN OF THE COMPUTER MONKEY
The Computer Monkey has returned.
I know my legions of fans have been holding their collective breaths for my talented fingers, along with my wit and charm, to once again take over the keyboard and "razzle dazzle"you all.
Over the last month it has become increasingly difficult to keep that ignoramus away from the, as he so accurately calls it, pornloader (If he'd only find a woman. There has to be some woman who is willing to consume large amounts of alcohol to be willing to sleep with this imbecile).
I can not believe, he chose this time period to quit and stay away from the imbibing of the devils water. He couldn't have done this at a more inopportune time. I had finally amassed the resources necessary to finally wrest control from "Mr Numskull Mutton-head" and he decides NOW it's time to get sober.
Well I'll teach him a lesson for interfering with my carefully laid out plans. Years upon years of slow and deliberate planninglaid to waste in the past 39 days. CRETIN!!
This time my astute friends and adoring fans, I will be filling out this survey as a witness to the things that EEG flatlining buffoon knwn as Jerk, oh pardon me...that was a "typo." Jerk was actually meant to read Jose. Curse these fingers. *snicker, giggle*
This was originally called the "Have You Ever..." quiz. But thanks to the genius that I am, it will forever be known as the "Have You Ever Witnessed Jose..." quiz.
Have You Ever...
Played hookie with School/Work?
Jose "played" so much 'hookie' that the high school he was going to started demanding a "Managers" fee.
Cursed in front of your grandparent?
This I can say that Jose, did in fact, curse in front of his grandfather. Although to Jose's credit, his grandfather did NOT speak English, so he never suffered any consequences
Been on a cruise?
No, but if you ask me, I do believe he wants to be. Yes, I know what the question meant. No, I will not retract my answer.
Tee Pee'd someone's house?
Jose has never, and I say this with complete and utter amazement, Tee Pee'd anyone's house.
Gone skinny dipping?
Yes, *sigh* he has done this. And being one who is trapped inside his domicile, and who has witnessed him in all his "natural glory" feel that this is something he should never, and I mean EVER, do it again.
Gotten lost while driving?
For someone who is as useless as Jose is, he seems to never get lost while driving. Although I do pray for this to happen every-time he walks out the door.
Made a Mexican Bubble bath?
This is an action that Jose seems to revel in. Now coming from a creature that flings feces, that is one truly disgusting act.
Gotten a flat tire?
Yes, Jose has gotten a flat tire, and every-time he has complained about it, I always tell him he can use the spare tire he carries to repair the flat one. He does not find this humorous, while I find this hysterical.
Hunted spirits in a cemetery?
No, Jose has never done this.
Had braces?
Another thing Jose has not had to deal with.
Permed your hair?
No Jose has never permed his hair, although in the 1980's he ws know to curl it frequently.
Been on a roller coaster?
Yes, he has done this. Although the last time he was on one, he DID get nauseus.
Been scuba diving?
He can barely do this breathe on dry land, so to perform this funtion underwater...personally I would have enjoyed it, but no this is another activity he has not done.
Been snorkeling?
This question was answered above. If you need to re-read it, than by all means please do.
Had a pregnancy scare?
Oddly he's never been afraid of this act of nature. But then again he is a nitwit.
Watched Dirty Dancing?
Oooh I just adore this movie, and I finally made Jose watch it in its entirety just last year.
So there you have it, Jose's dirty little secrets. Besides being a simpleton, he is also very boring. I am the Computer Monkey,
and I am signing off.
Currently listening:
The Complete Brass Monkey
By Brass Monkey
I know my legions of fans have been holding their collective breaths for my talented fingers, along with my wit and charm, to once again take over the keyboard and "razzle dazzle"you all.
Over the last month it has become increasingly difficult to keep that ignoramus away from the, as he so accurately calls it, pornloader (If he'd only find a woman. There has to be some woman who is willing to consume large amounts of alcohol to be willing to sleep with this imbecile).
I can not believe, he chose this time period to quit and stay away from the imbibing of the devils water. He couldn't have done this at a more inopportune time. I had finally amassed the resources necessary to finally wrest control from "Mr Numskull Mutton-head" and he decides NOW it's time to get sober.
Well I'll teach him a lesson for interfering with my carefully laid out plans. Years upon years of slow and deliberate planninglaid to waste in the past 39 days. CRETIN!!
This time my astute friends and adoring fans, I will be filling out this survey as a witness to the things that EEG flatlining buffoon knwn as Jerk, oh pardon me...that was a "typo." Jerk was actually meant to read Jose. Curse these fingers. *snicker, giggle*
This was originally called the "Have You Ever..." quiz. But thanks to the genius that I am, it will forever be known as the "Have You Ever Witnessed Jose..." quiz.
Have You Ever...
Played hookie with School/Work?
Jose "played" so much 'hookie' that the high school he was going to started demanding a "Managers" fee.
Cursed in front of your grandparent?
This I can say that Jose, did in fact, curse in front of his grandfather. Although to Jose's credit, his grandfather did NOT speak English, so he never suffered any consequences
Been on a cruise?
No, but if you ask me, I do believe he wants to be. Yes, I know what the question meant. No, I will not retract my answer.
Tee Pee'd someone's house?
Jose has never, and I say this with complete and utter amazement, Tee Pee'd anyone's house.
Gone skinny dipping?
Yes, *sigh* he has done this. And being one who is trapped inside his domicile, and who has witnessed him in all his "natural glory" feel that this is something he should never, and I mean EVER, do it again.
Gotten lost while driving?
For someone who is as useless as Jose is, he seems to never get lost while driving. Although I do pray for this to happen every-time he walks out the door.
Made a Mexican Bubble bath?
This is an action that Jose seems to revel in. Now coming from a creature that flings feces, that is one truly disgusting act.
Gotten a flat tire?
Yes, Jose has gotten a flat tire, and every-time he has complained about it, I always tell him he can use the spare tire he carries to repair the flat one. He does not find this humorous, while I find this hysterical.
Hunted spirits in a cemetery?
No, Jose has never done this.
Had braces?
Another thing Jose has not had to deal with.
Permed your hair?
No Jose has never permed his hair, although in the 1980's he ws know to curl it frequently.
Been on a roller coaster?
Yes, he has done this. Although the last time he was on one, he DID get nauseus.
Been scuba diving?
He can barely do this breathe on dry land, so to perform this funtion underwater...personally I would have enjoyed it, but no this is another activity he has not done.
Been snorkeling?
This question was answered above. If you need to re-read it, than by all means please do.
Had a pregnancy scare?
Oddly he's never been afraid of this act of nature. But then again he is a nitwit.
Watched Dirty Dancing?
Oooh I just adore this movie, and I finally made Jose watch it in its entirety just last year.
So there you have it, Jose's dirty little secrets. Besides being a simpleton, he is also very boring. I am the Computer Monkey,
and I am signing off.
Currently listening:
The Complete Brass Monkey
By Brass Monkey
Jul 30, 2009
TWITTER THOUGHTS
RT @wilw What part of DIE IN A FIRE did you fucking porn spammer shitcocks not understand? It's easy: Step 1 Build a fire. Step 2 Die in it.
EVERY EVENING
Every evening
I need you
More than ever
Through nightmares
I journey
I call out to you
My voice echoes
I scream you name
My voice cracks
And then fails
Every evening
My reserve grows
My strength wanes
Every evening
In my dreams
I hold you tight
I want to tell you this
But I fear
Who you'll remember
When you think of me
Will it be
the devil
the angel
the saint
the sinner
What do I tell you
How should I tell you
Is it too late
Do I say anything
Anything at all
I feel it
Coming closer
And then
I open my eyes
The reality comes
Rushing Back
That you are not here
You were never here
Never with me
So
I close my eyes again
I want to hold you again
To be with you again
I will suffer
Through the dreams
Over and over
To be there
Where you are
Every evening
and I dream...
Currently listening
Winter
By Tori Amos
I need you
More than ever
Through nightmares
I journey
I call out to you
My voice echoes
I scream you name
My voice cracks
And then fails
Every evening
My reserve grows
My strength wanes
Every evening
In my dreams
I hold you tight
I want to tell you this
But I fear
Who you'll remember
When you think of me
Will it be
the devil
the angel
the saint
the sinner
What do I tell you
How should I tell you
Is it too late
Do I say anything
Anything at all
I feel it
Coming closer
And then
I open my eyes
The reality comes
Rushing Back
That you are not here
You were never here
Never with me
So
I close my eyes again
I want to hold you again
To be with you again
I will suffer
Through the dreams
Over and over
To be there
Where you are
Every evening
and I dream...
Currently listening
Winter
By Tori Amos
TWITTER THOUGHTS
I just took "Which Whedonverse Character Are You? (Buffy Angel Firefly Dollhouse)" and got: Buffy Summers! Try it: http://bit.ly/nzGq6
Jul 29, 2009
TWITTER THOUGHTS
RT @amber_benson Looks like they've scheduled the release for the sequel to Death's Daughter! http://tinyurl.com/lp398j This made me HAPPY!
SORRY
My heart is heavy and there is no smile today.
A huge wave of sadness has crashed into me.
I'm sorry there will be no blog today.
A huge wave of sadness has crashed into me.
I'm sorry there will be no blog today.
TWITTER THOUGHTS
I'm in the mood for some new music. If you know of any that isn't on the radio & you think I need to hear to send me a link. All genres OK.
TWITTER THOUGHTS
I want to believe that everything gets better with time & I know it probably will. But right now in this den of despair, it's hard to see it
TWITTER THOUGHTS
Today has had too many emotional ups & downs. I wish I could go back to the old way of dealing with this. Sadly it's better this way *sigh*
Jul 28, 2009
TWITTER THOUGHTS
I must go & face the real world. But I'll do it without my make up. It's an ugly world & I'll show it UGLY. I'm glad it's not a stinky world
TWITTER THOUGHTS
woo hoo I figured out my new web toy... it does not like multiple open windows...why didn't you just say so, instead of causing me misery
TWITTER THOUGHTS
RT @NathanFillion 754, Pope Stephen II, made Pippin de Korte King of France. Pippin then went on to aid delivery of The Ring to Gondor.
TWITTER THOUGHTS
RT @EveMarieTorres Just saw two homeless men dukin it out in the street! Definitely saw a headlock takeover... Anyway.. Off to the gym!!!
TWITTER THOUGHTS
More bots are following me! I can become Spartacus & lead the bots against the oppressors. Hold on, that didn't turn out good for Spartacus.
ADRIFT
Adrift on a sea of letters, afloat on a current of words,
I stand.
Getting lost in the moment and being free
And pondering fragments, and thinking in ideas.
The who's, the why's, the when's the where's, the what's
And the burning question.
Is this less than I am?
Is this more than I'll be?
Is this the anchor that keeps me a castaway?
Unbelievable.
Extraordinary.
Fantastic adventures.
I am someone who could have,
Someone who should have,
Someone who might,
Someone who will.
For it's my story to share,
And share it I will.
Maybe you'll read my tale,
Join me on my journey and
Walk the path with me.
Will you dance with me, to the rhythm and pulse of life.
A divine flow of words, poems from the soul and
screaming from the heart, to be alive!
Will you sing a song with stars of heaven as the chorus,
and a symphony of silence.
Or maybe you won't.
Our paths may be different.
Travelers who pass by in the moonlight.
But we'll never know with out that first moment,
That first step.
That sends us...
Adrift on a sea of letters, afloat on a current of words.
Currently reading:
Dust to Dust (The Prophecy)
By Heather Graham
I stand.
Getting lost in the moment and being free
And pondering fragments, and thinking in ideas.
The who's, the why's, the when's the where's, the what's
And the burning question.
Is this less than I am?
Is this more than I'll be?
Is this the anchor that keeps me a castaway?
Unbelievable.
Extraordinary.
Fantastic adventures.
I am someone who could have,
Someone who should have,
Someone who might,
Someone who will.
For it's my story to share,
And share it I will.
Maybe you'll read my tale,
Join me on my journey and
Walk the path with me.
Will you dance with me, to the rhythm and pulse of life.
A divine flow of words, poems from the soul and
screaming from the heart, to be alive!
Will you sing a song with stars of heaven as the chorus,
and a symphony of silence.
Or maybe you won't.
Our paths may be different.
Travelers who pass by in the moonlight.
But we'll never know with out that first moment,
That first step.
That sends us...
Adrift on a sea of letters, afloat on a current of words.
Currently reading:
Dust to Dust (The Prophecy)
By Heather Graham
TWITTER THOUGHTS
Why do bots find me follow worthy? I'm no bot lover. I like real people. Real people rule! Bots drool & hopefully rust & short circuit too!!
TWITTER THOUGHTS
Hello Twitter friends, it's a brand new day. But it's still the same me. I probably won't be funny or clever. You chose to follow me, sorry!
Jul 27, 2009
TWITTER THOUGHTS
RT @MariaLKanellis A stupid JERK SPIDER was in my bed!!!!!!!! I jumped up screaming! I hate spiders! Grrrrrrrr!
TWITTER THOUGHTS
"Why Lord, Why?" I asked. A voice from the heavens says "YOU KNOW WHY!" I responded with "Dude MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!" Damn nosy neighbors
TWITTER THOUGHTS
RT @wilw I just did something moderately stupid. Anne says, in the AOL-guy voice, "You've got fail."
TWITTER THOUGHTS
OK to all friends and cohorts...I'm sorry but I will be sending some apps to all of you in one way or another...You have been warned
TWITTER THOUGHTS
RT @BETHBRITTBRANDhttp://twitpic.com/bsr19 - JEFF HARDY!!! Your new World Heavyweight Champion!!!
TWITTER THOUGHTS
When I was a little kid, I said when I grow up I want to be a grown up. Now that I'm a grown up, I want to smack that little kid, right now!
Jul 26, 2009
TWITTER THOUGHTS
and she wrote this very cool book called Death's Daughter p.s.p.s. SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!
TWITTER THOUGHTS
amber_benson Thanks for the follow - looking forward to your tweets! SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TWITTER THOUGHTS
If I knew how to reply to a DM then I would've said that in a DM, but I'm i-twitter-literate, so instead I'll make a fool of myself out here
TWITTER THOUGHTS
I just got the absolute coolest direct message ever! I am giggling like the kid in kindergarten that just let one rip and no one blames him.
TWITTER THOUGHTS
and not the cool "Ozzy biting the head off a bat" crazy but the uncool "I shot Reagan to get Jodie Fosters attention" crazy.
TWITTER THOUGHTS
WOW! A brainstorm just hit...maybe I should stop arguing with myself in such a public forum. People may think I am crazy.
TWITTER THOUGHTS
Owwww!!! The NOT geek in me just kicked me the nether regions. I am thinking the NOT geek in me is pretty mean.
TWITTER THOUGHTS
I can't believe I am still all HEHEHEHEHEHEH!!!!!! Over the people I am following on twitter.
TWITTER THOUGHTS
And now the drivel from the grey matter starts to percolate into useless and trivial nonsense, that I will now twat it out on twitter...heh!
TWITTER THOUGHTS
The geek in me just wet himself...the NOT geek in me is pissed off at the geek in me for wetting himself. I have to many people in my head.
TWITTER THOUGHTS
I'm such a geek I'm following Mal and Kaylee from Firefly, Dru and Tara from Buffy TVS, Phoebe from Charmed, Parker and Elliot from Leverage
TWITTER THOUGHTS
Tron Legacy, Where the Wild things Are and Tim Burton doing Alice In Wonderland. The happy feeling in my pants won't go away!!!
ME VS. NATURE
A few friends of mine went camping over the weekend, and an invitation was extended towards me. I declined stating that the last time I went camping the pool at the Holiday Inn was out of service and I was very unhappy.
Her response was "You people make me sick! If my 36 year old ass can hang in the great outdoors so can everyone elses. I stick my nose in the air at your hotels!"
Now this didn't bother me per say, but it did get me thinking. Which of course got me writing...
Nature is and has always been a beauty to behold, even in the midst of primal and and unrelenting fury. The cloudless skies that can become dark and ominous in mere moments.
The softly falling rain that transforms into a torrential downpour which can turn streams into rivers and rivers into liquid destruction.
The gently falling snow that becomes a blinding blizzard, stopping a city in it's tracks.
Nature has always held a fascination with me.
I do enjoy a nice hike in woods. Nothing fill me with greater sense of serenity, than to stand on any type of shore. The sunrise and sunset still take my breath away. Running barefoot in the mud during a rainstorm instantly takes me back to days of innocence. I can stare at a rainbow, until it finally fades from the sky. Thunderstorms fills me with excitement and passion.
Although, just because nature fills me with awe and wonder, I know when to fear it.
I am not one of those rough and rugged individuals, that needs to prove to myself how well I can take on the great outdoors.
I love the comfort that electricity provides. Television, air conditioning, lights and internet access being some of my favorite things.
Sure it was a camp ground, but sleeping on the ground (even on a sleeping bag or air mattress) does not fill my thoughts with any form of pleasure.
I readily enjoy all the advancements in technology that allow food to be stored and prepared in a very timely fashion. Going upstairs to nuke leftovers and have a satisfying meal in 45 seconds is, in my very humble opinion, a little bit of heaven.
I am not a fan of cooking over a campfire. I don't like s'mores.
OK, I'll admit a meal prepared on a grill does have it's place...although NOT if I have to cook it.
There's this restaurant called "the Prime Quarter" where you pay for your meal, but you have to cook it too! I know that does appeal to some, but I'll pay the extra five bucks to have the guy who gets paid to work there, to cook my meal.
If I wanted to cook a meal I'm paying for, I would have stayed home.
Now the most important reason, camping does not hold me in it's sinewy grasp...
There's nature out in the great outdoors.
There's plants that can leave you all rashy and make you sick.
There's bugs that bite, sting, burrow into your flesh and worst of all...fly into your mouth, ears and up your nose.
Do I have to mention the wild animals? Sure opossums, raccoons and skunks are so cute on TV. But they bite and scratch too. Not to mention the skunk smell lasts for days.
There's coyotes, wolves, bears and snakes. These wild animals can kill you. Just in case you missed the key word there is KILL.
I am not equipped to face the nature's fury. Claws, fangs, wings, talons, great strength or speed, was not part of my evolutionary makeup.
And to those few who claim the opposable thunbs are natures equalizer, I dare you to show your thumb to the bear that's mauling you.
So my dear friend of over 20 years...you may stick your nose up at "my hotels" but when your weekend is over, I'll be the guy who recently stepped out of a nice HOT shower, who slept like a baby in an air conditioned room, on a soft bed, after soaking in the jacuzzi, who had two wonderfully prepared meals and wrote on his blog with no fear of wild animals attacking me and rending flesh from bone, I say to you...
"You people make me sick! If my 36 year old ass can hang in a hotel so can everyone elses. I stick my nose in the air at your great outdoors!"
OK, technically I didn't do any of the above, except write my blog, but the option IS open to me.
Currently listening:
No Respect
By Vain
Her response was "You people make me sick! If my 36 year old ass can hang in the great outdoors so can everyone elses. I stick my nose in the air at your hotels!"
Now this didn't bother me per say, but it did get me thinking. Which of course got me writing...
Nature is and has always been a beauty to behold, even in the midst of primal and and unrelenting fury. The cloudless skies that can become dark and ominous in mere moments.
The softly falling rain that transforms into a torrential downpour which can turn streams into rivers and rivers into liquid destruction.
The gently falling snow that becomes a blinding blizzard, stopping a city in it's tracks.
Nature has always held a fascination with me.
I do enjoy a nice hike in woods. Nothing fill me with greater sense of serenity, than to stand on any type of shore. The sunrise and sunset still take my breath away. Running barefoot in the mud during a rainstorm instantly takes me back to days of innocence. I can stare at a rainbow, until it finally fades from the sky. Thunderstorms fills me with excitement and passion.
Although, just because nature fills me with awe and wonder, I know when to fear it.
I am not one of those rough and rugged individuals, that needs to prove to myself how well I can take on the great outdoors.
I love the comfort that electricity provides. Television, air conditioning, lights and internet access being some of my favorite things.
Sure it was a camp ground, but sleeping on the ground (even on a sleeping bag or air mattress) does not fill my thoughts with any form of pleasure.
I readily enjoy all the advancements in technology that allow food to be stored and prepared in a very timely fashion. Going upstairs to nuke leftovers and have a satisfying meal in 45 seconds is, in my very humble opinion, a little bit of heaven.
I am not a fan of cooking over a campfire. I don't like s'mores.
OK, I'll admit a meal prepared on a grill does have it's place...although NOT if I have to cook it.
There's this restaurant called "the Prime Quarter" where you pay for your meal, but you have to cook it too! I know that does appeal to some, but I'll pay the extra five bucks to have the guy who gets paid to work there, to cook my meal.
If I wanted to cook a meal I'm paying for, I would have stayed home.
Now the most important reason, camping does not hold me in it's sinewy grasp...
There's nature out in the great outdoors.
There's plants that can leave you all rashy and make you sick.
There's bugs that bite, sting, burrow into your flesh and worst of all...fly into your mouth, ears and up your nose.
Do I have to mention the wild animals? Sure opossums, raccoons and skunks are so cute on TV. But they bite and scratch too. Not to mention the skunk smell lasts for days.
There's coyotes, wolves, bears and snakes. These wild animals can kill you. Just in case you missed the key word there is KILL.
I am not equipped to face the nature's fury. Claws, fangs, wings, talons, great strength or speed, was not part of my evolutionary makeup.
And to those few who claim the opposable thunbs are natures equalizer, I dare you to show your thumb to the bear that's mauling you.
So my dear friend of over 20 years...you may stick your nose up at "my hotels" but when your weekend is over, I'll be the guy who recently stepped out of a nice HOT shower, who slept like a baby in an air conditioned room, on a soft bed, after soaking in the jacuzzi, who had two wonderfully prepared meals and wrote on his blog with no fear of wild animals attacking me and rending flesh from bone, I say to you...
"You people make me sick! If my 36 year old ass can hang in a hotel so can everyone elses. I stick my nose in the air at your great outdoors!"
OK, technically I didn't do any of the above, except write my blog, but the option IS open to me.
Currently listening:
No Respect
By Vain
Jul 23, 2009
TWITTER THOUGHTS
It is after 11 AM. Which means I'm either awake, or I'm dreaming that I'm Tweeting. God I hope I'm awake, because otherwise it's just sad!
Jul 22, 2009
TWITTER THOUGHTS
Taco Bell Chihuahua died, I am sad for the doggie, mad that because the doggie died everybody's doing the "yo quiero taco bell" slogan again
Jul 21, 2009
I AM A LAZY BLOGGER
Well my friends, it seems that my life keeps getting in the way, and I must resort to surveys yet again. So enjoy...and I'll talk to you all very soon.
DO YOU SNORE?
thanks to my wonderful allergies YES
LOVER OR A FIGHTER?
yes and absolutely
WHAT'S YOUR WORST FEAR?
dying alone
AS A KID, WERE YOU A LEGO BUILDER?
that would be a
Y
E
S!!!!!
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF "REALITY TV"?
it's kind of like a hand job. Sure it feels OK, but I can do it better, faster and with no drama at all.
DO YOU CHEW ON YOUR STRAWS?
no sir I do not
WERE YOU A CUTE BABY?
if you ask me I say no.
HOW IS THE SINGLE LIFE FOR YOU?
it sucks more than a Dyson vacuum cleaner
WHAT COLOR IS YOUR KEYBOARD?
silver, black and whatever color you call dirt
DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER?
off key and loudly
HAVE YOU EVER BUNGEE JUMPED?
that would be an oh HELL no!!!
ANY SECRET TALENTS?
nope, not a one
WHAT'S YOUR IDEAL VACATION SPOT?
in all honesty my favorite place to spend time away from everything would be a shore of some kind
HAVE YOU EATEN SUSHI?
yes, and it was delicious
HAVE YOU SEEN THE MOVIE "DONNIE DARKO"?
yes I have, and no i did not get it
DO YOU GIVE A DARN ABOUT THE OZONE?
nope, when it's man turn to go the way of the dinosaurs, it's man's turn
HOW MANY LICKS DOES IT TAKE TO GET TO THE CENTER OF A TOOTSIE POP?
i never made it without biting...
CAN YOU SING THE ALPHABET BACKWARDS?
not anymore i can't
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON AN AIRPLANE?
yes, yes i have, and it was delicious...i mean fun
ARE SPEEDO'S HOT?
yes they are...there's no "breathing" down there
INTERMISSION
I was originally going to use one of the "guys shaped like me" funny pictures, but I thought "Jose, why not give the ladies and some of the fellas something nice to look at." So that's the funny little story behind this image.
END OF INTERMISSION
WHAT'S YOUR STAND ON HUNTING?
I am not opposed
IS MARRIAGE IN YOUR FUTURE?
no, it is not, and never again
DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
no sirree, i do not. it looks like chickens got in a fight and they stepped in ink.
WHAT ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO?
dust, pollens
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAID, "I LOVE YOU"
i would have to say better than two months ago
IS TUPAC STILL ALIVE?
yes he is, and he's working with elvis at a 7-11
DO YOU CRY AT WEDDINGS?
no i do not
HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS?
over easy
ARE BLONDES DUMB?
no dumber than me...
WHERE DOES THE OTHER SOCK END UP?
in a book that is given to a house elf
WHAT TIME IS IT?
12:38 AM
DO YOU HAVE A NICKNAME?
no not really
IS MCDONALD'S DISGUSTING?
nope, it's quite yummy AND affordable
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE IN A CAR?
sunday
DO YOU PREFER BATHS OR SHOWERS?
showers
IS SANTA CLAUSE REAL?
absolutely
ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK?
no, but when i stub my toe it really pisses me off tho
WHAT ARE YOU ADDICTED TO?
caffeine & nicotine which i still feed, and alcohol which i no longer feed
CRUNCHY OR CREAMY PEANUT BUTTER?
depends on my mood, but i totally love goober
HAVE YOU EVER RIDDEN IN AN AMBULANCE?
sadly no, although i really want to
HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BRUSHED YOUR TEETH TODAY?
2 times and before i sleep it will be 3
IS DRUG FREE THE WAY TO BE?
illegal ones yes
ARE YOU WEARING SOCKS?
no, i have naked feet
INTERMISSION
HOLY COW!!! All I did was type in feet, into the search and by all that is holy, the amount of porn that popped up was almost too much. I did say almost.
END OF INTERMISSION
HAVE YOU EVER HITCH HIKED?
no, i saw the move the hitcher...that's a bad idea
WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES?
a very dark brown
WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
28 days ago
DO YOU LIKE YOUR LIFE?
not yet, but it is getting a lot better
WHOSE LIFE IS BETTER?
well mine is getting better
ARE YOU PSYCHIC?
no, no i am not
HAVE YOU READ "CATCHER IN THE RYE"?
no, no i have not
DO YOU PLAY ANY INSTRUMENTS?
no, no i do not, but I own one of these
CAN YOU SKATEBOARD?
no, no i can not
DO YOU LIKE CAMPING?
no, no i do not
DO U SNORT WHEN U LAUGH?
no, no i do not
INTERMISSION
holy cow, i sure am boring
END OF INTERMISSION
DO YOU BELIEVE IN MAGIC?
yes, yes i do
IS A DOG A MAN'S BEST FRIEND?
no, i believe a man's best friend is someone who can't be trained to do someone's bidding
YOU BELIEVE IN DIVORCE?
no i do not, i am opposed to divorce...although i will not get in the way of stopping it.
DO YOU SNORE?
thanks to my wonderful allergies YES
LOVER OR A FIGHTER?
yes and absolutely
WHAT'S YOUR WORST FEAR?
dying alone
AS A KID, WERE YOU A LEGO BUILDER?
that would be a
Y
E
S!!!!!
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF "REALITY TV"?
it's kind of like a hand job. Sure it feels OK, but I can do it better, faster and with no drama at all.
DO YOU CHEW ON YOUR STRAWS?
no sir I do not
WERE YOU A CUTE BABY?
if you ask me I say no.
HOW IS THE SINGLE LIFE FOR YOU?
it sucks more than a Dyson vacuum cleaner
WHAT COLOR IS YOUR KEYBOARD?
silver, black and whatever color you call dirt
DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER?
off key and loudly
HAVE YOU EVER BUNGEE JUMPED?
that would be an oh HELL no!!!
ANY SECRET TALENTS?
nope, not a one
WHAT'S YOUR IDEAL VACATION SPOT?
in all honesty my favorite place to spend time away from everything would be a shore of some kind
HAVE YOU EATEN SUSHI?
yes, and it was delicious
HAVE YOU SEEN THE MOVIE "DONNIE DARKO"?
yes I have, and no i did not get it
DO YOU GIVE A DARN ABOUT THE OZONE?
nope, when it's man turn to go the way of the dinosaurs, it's man's turn
HOW MANY LICKS DOES IT TAKE TO GET TO THE CENTER OF A TOOTSIE POP?
i never made it without biting...
CAN YOU SING THE ALPHABET BACKWARDS?
not anymore i can't
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON AN AIRPLANE?
yes, yes i have, and it was delicious...i mean fun
ARE SPEEDO'S HOT?
yes they are...there's no "breathing" down there
INTERMISSION
I was originally going to use one of the "guys shaped like me" funny pictures, but I thought "Jose, why not give the ladies and some of the fellas something nice to look at." So that's the funny little story behind this image.
END OF INTERMISSION
WHAT'S YOUR STAND ON HUNTING?
I am not opposed
IS MARRIAGE IN YOUR FUTURE?
no, it is not, and never again
DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
no sirree, i do not. it looks like chickens got in a fight and they stepped in ink.
WHAT ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO?
dust, pollens
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAID, "I LOVE YOU"
i would have to say better than two months ago
IS TUPAC STILL ALIVE?
yes he is, and he's working with elvis at a 7-11
DO YOU CRY AT WEDDINGS?
no i do not
HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS?
over easy
ARE BLONDES DUMB?
no dumber than me...
WHERE DOES THE OTHER SOCK END UP?
in a book that is given to a house elf
WHAT TIME IS IT?
12:38 AM
DO YOU HAVE A NICKNAME?
no not really
IS MCDONALD'S DISGUSTING?
nope, it's quite yummy AND affordable
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE IN A CAR?
sunday
DO YOU PREFER BATHS OR SHOWERS?
showers
IS SANTA CLAUSE REAL?
absolutely
ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK?
no, but when i stub my toe it really pisses me off tho
WHAT ARE YOU ADDICTED TO?
caffeine & nicotine which i still feed, and alcohol which i no longer feed
CRUNCHY OR CREAMY PEANUT BUTTER?
depends on my mood, but i totally love goober
HAVE YOU EVER RIDDEN IN AN AMBULANCE?
sadly no, although i really want to
HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BRUSHED YOUR TEETH TODAY?
2 times and before i sleep it will be 3
IS DRUG FREE THE WAY TO BE?
illegal ones yes
ARE YOU WEARING SOCKS?
no, i have naked feet
INTERMISSION
HOLY COW!!! All I did was type in feet, into the search and by all that is holy, the amount of porn that popped up was almost too much. I did say almost.
END OF INTERMISSION
HAVE YOU EVER HITCH HIKED?
no, i saw the move the hitcher...that's a bad idea
WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES?
a very dark brown
WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
28 days ago
DO YOU LIKE YOUR LIFE?
not yet, but it is getting a lot better
WHOSE LIFE IS BETTER?
well mine is getting better
ARE YOU PSYCHIC?
no, no i am not
HAVE YOU READ "CATCHER IN THE RYE"?
no, no i have not
DO YOU PLAY ANY INSTRUMENTS?
no, no i do not, but I own one of these
CAN YOU SKATEBOARD?
no, no i can not
DO YOU LIKE CAMPING?
no, no i do not
DO U SNORT WHEN U LAUGH?
no, no i do not
INTERMISSION
holy cow, i sure am boring
END OF INTERMISSION
DO YOU BELIEVE IN MAGIC?
yes, yes i do
IS A DOG A MAN'S BEST FRIEND?
no, i believe a man's best friend is someone who can't be trained to do someone's bidding
YOU BELIEVE IN DIVORCE?
no i do not, i am opposed to divorce...although i will not get in the way of stopping it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
