USELESS UPDATES

I'm still just screwing around with some of the functions on the Flock browser. I guess it's a decent tool. I'm just having a lazy day.

First things first...did anyone, besides me that is, catch the Knight Rider movie?

For an updating and revamping it wasn't that bad. It had just the perfect amount of bad acting, very cool visual effects and straight out silliness that was trademark for the show. So I was pleasantly surprised.

Now I'm just waiting for the 4th Indy movie.

I finished reading Brother Odd...OH MY GOD that was the best book so far. If you haven't read the Odd Thomas books by Dean Koontz you really should.

Well other than waiting for Monday Night Raw and screwing around with more of the thingies on this browser, I guess that's all for this moment

TWITTER THOUGHTS

Another thing I can use to waste time, space and all things anti-matter in between.

WOW THIS MAKES THINGS SO MUCH EASIER...i think

I'm playing around with some programs and browsers, and so far Flock is OK. That is until my needs change, I get smarter or I finally figure out this thing that I sit in front of and download porn.

OK sometimes it's a TV.

Sometimes it's nothing at all.

Yeah, that'll do pig, that'll do.

For now.

TWITTER THOUGHTS

Right now I am looking for ways to make wasting time on the world wide web more efficient.

WASTING TIME, PRODUCTIVELY

It seems like all I do anymore, is try and figure out ways to be more productive with my ability to waste time.

I'm looking to be more efficient in the laziness.

All because I can't really sleep.

God, this just sucks.

MARTINA McBRIDE - MY VALENTINE

You know...the song is sappy, and the words are pretty common to just about every love song ever written...but today at this moment, every word sings true.

I Love You,
You Will Always Be,
The One Meant For Me,

My Susan,
My Wife,
My Love

GLOBAL WARMING MY ASS

It's been a while since the snow has been piled up in the parking lots of department stores...(am I aging myself calling them department stores?) as high as the store itself, like in the image below

GOD, that is still so damn cool.

It used to be one of my favorite things from my childhood. I waited and hoped that Sunday would get here faster, because that was the only day they'd be closed.

We "deviants" would grab our sleds, claim a "mountain", climb it and take the plunge (sometimes almost straight down, so that the first few landings would knock the snot AND air out of you) down, just to do it again.

I know it would have been easier and probably safer to just use the hills that were readily available. BUT, damn, to have your very own mountain to trek up, then having the stupidity to try and slide down it!!

That's what being a boy was all about.


Sadly, my digital camera took a dump, so I had to find an image that closely resembled said childhood memory/current snowfall status.

This one actually comes close.

Thank you Mr. Internet for having such images ready and available for us with digital camera issues.

BEAUTY AND THE BEAST THEME

So what?? Sure, I mean who isn't all weepy for a Disney cartoon?

ALADDIN - A WHOLE NEW WORLD

NEW KNIGHT RIDER

KITT comes back. KNIGHT RIDER returns. OH MY GOD!!!! The sad part is that I don't care if it's not a Trans Am. I don't care that it's a Ford Shelby instead. Hell I don't even care that Val Killmer is the new voice of KITT. I"m actually happy about the fact that they actually spent some money on this and it won't be as hokey as Team Knight Rider, as predictable as Knight Rider 2000 and as useless as Knight Rider 2010.

Yeah I know, no matter how old I get I still "geek" out way too much for it to be healthy...WOOOO HOOOOO!!!!"

MY SPACE ADDICT

Myspace is the Devil (pronounced deb-bull).

Thas fo shoe.

I can't believe how much time I waste on here.

I actually came to check my email, which reminds me, I still have to check my email.

Between the blogs and bulletins...Good and Holy Father Christmas, I wasted a good 2 1/2 hours.

I Looked at the time and went "You know what Einstein, this explains why you have no time to do everything you actually plan to do."

My response to myself was "SHUT UP!!! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!!" Followed by rolling up a My Space doobie.

I answered back "You now maybe...just maybe you have a problem..."

I tell myself "That's not true! I can quit anytime I want!" as I'm chopping some My Space on a mirror.

"I think it's time for an intervention." I say to myself.

"I DON'T HAVE A MY SPACE PROBLEM!!! WHY DON'T YOU LISTEN TO ME!!!" as I'm tapping the syringe filled with My Space while I tie off my mouse clicking wrist.

The above scenario was a dramatization of an actual moment.

OK, it was a complete falsehood, but it sure was funny in my head.

It just came to me as I was going through my online rituals.

I check My Space.

I check my emails.

I check out POGO.

I go to Project Play list spend a few minutes there.

Afterwards I look at the time and realize I have used up all my time and I have to rejoin the real world (NOT the MTV series...albeit the best one was Real world 2 L. A.). So I quickly write down some nonsense and hope you don't realize what a piece of crap it is.

INTERMISSION

OK, The Internet is the Devil (pronounced deb-bull).

Thas fo shoe.

Since I mentioned The Real World, I actually went and looked to see what happened to Jon, Irene, Dominic, Aaron, Beth 1 and 2, Glenn, Tami and David. A sad truth is that I knew their names without having to look them up.

OK back to the regularly scheduled blog entry.

INTERMISSION OVER

And that my friends is the how and why of my blogs. It's sad that I know all this, and I still try and write one of these things as often as I can.

You guys deserve better quality blogs.

With that said, ladies and gents, I'll be calling this the end for todays entry.

Damn it, I still have to check my email!!

Mahalo â nui

FREE RANGE, ORIGINAL RECIPE or EXTRA CRISPY revisited

My wife tells me that I have to redo this entry. She looked at me and asked "Are you even trying anymore?"

I was all like "What you doin' gettin' all up in mah bizness!" in my head.

The words that actually came out were "Umm honey I was kind of tired, and I wanted to get it down before I forgot."

Which now that I think about were also the words in my head when I was originally asked if I was even trying.

I think I gots to keep away frum dat MTV...word.

So she suggested that I should probably rewrite it.

So I guess here you have Free Range, Original Recipe or Extra Crispy revisited...

It's Saturday afternoon, and we just finished a stint at the white trash Bloomingdales (I have this love/hate thing with Wal-Mart shoppers) and my wife sees the sign for the Elegant Farmer. She sees this damn sign at least once a week, and at least once a week she says one of these days we should check it out. It finally turned into one of these days, and my wife and I were on our way to the Elegant Farmer.

Gentlefolks, let me explain that I'm not a very big fan of the rustic/farm/craft type establishments (which this totally was) and looking back I should not have been surprised...but I'm getting ahead of myself.

My wife was looking at all the products they carry. Jam's, pies, fresh dairy products, some knick-knacks , you know. Basically, if it has a price tag on it she's going to give it a once over.

Not me, all I was looking for the freshly slaughtered and ready to cook animals that will fill my belly with goodness.

AND I FIND IT!!!

Wooooohoooo went the victory scream!

Hunter/Provider find meat.

Hunter/Provider bring meat to cave.

Hunter/Provider is interrupted with words.

Hunter/Provider is confused.

Sign say this "happy chicken."

These are happy chickens? They have been fed a good and healthy diet? They are free range? They have had a happy life? They are HOW FRIKKEN MUCH?!?!?

And all the other meat products have very similar descriptions.

And they all have pretty much the same reaction from me. Emphasizing "the HOW FRIKKEN MUCH?!?!?" part.

I Like Meat.

Not in the gay way, but in the steak with a side of steak and some pork chops or chicken to take home kind of way.

YUMMY STEAKS! A GOOD BURGER WITH BACON. DEEP FRIED CHICKEN. NOW THAT'S EATIN FOLKS.

Believe me when I say I am no friend of PETA.

I think that every pet is an emergency meal (you know, when the end of the world comes).

I may not go actively hunt said critters, but I fully support those that do.

I think that if a couple thousand bunny rabbits and mice must suffer for make-up that the woman I love wears, than by god put that lip gloss on Mickey and Bugs needs some blush.

If I get to live a little bit longer because they used said little critters in medical experiments, than by all that's holy, I'll get you a few more myself.

I'm getting off track. Sorry.

My PETA thoughts are on a back burner for a wee bit longer. This is about the happy animals that are going to be my lunch/dinner.

I don't care what kind of life my food had. I don't care if it ate well. I don't care if it was from an award winning stock.

All I care about is whether its 350 degrees for 40 minutes or 340 degrees for 50 minutes.

I do not want a history lesson with my meal. I don't want to know what part of the country my tomatoes were grown in. I don't need to know what kind of cow gave me milk for the ice cream I am eating.

I really don't need to know how happy my dinner was.

Because unless I am not mistaken, at this point happiness in no longer part of the equation. The only part of the equation left is "and what sides would you like with your meal?"

So a happy chicken? Who cares.

A fried chicken in a bucket of extra crispy with a side of slaw and mashed taters, please and thank you.


So lovely wifey o'miney...is this up to my usual witty yet pointless waste of cyberspace that you expect and love me for??

I ALMOST FORGOT

WAY TO GO GIANTS!!!!

ANY TEAM THAT DOES NOT

AND I REPEAT

DOES NOT HAVE RANDY MOSS CAN WIN!!!

THIS TIME IT HAPPENS TO BE THE GIANTS!!!

I can live with that.

FREE RANGE, ORIGINAL, or EXTRA CRISPY

Over the weekend Season and I were checking out the Elegant Farmer. I guess if you is from a big city where there isn't much access to a working farm, this would be an impressive place. But for us almost on a farm types...it's pretty much old hat.

But anyway, we were walking around and something finally hit me.

We were looking at the "Happy Chickens." Yes, the frozen dead ready to cook Happy chickens. The 30 minutes at 350 degrees and then you have a meal happy chickens. I'm sorry, I don't think these are happy chickens anymore.

In my personal opinion, there are no such things as free range chickens. If you have to feed them or else they starve, that is not free range, it's just a bigger more open cage.

I also don't want to hear how well they lived. I don't need to know their dietary habits. All I want to know is if it's original or extra crispy.

This actually goes for all animals that are bred and raised to be a meal or a clothing item.

It's not because knowing the truth might skew my desire for meat or leather. It's a much simpler reason than that. I just don't care enough for it to matter. They will all die in one way or another. Just this way I get good food and cool coats.

And what else is there after that?

PART OF YOUR WORLD - The LITTLE MERMAID

Yeah still going through my sappy moment. I LOOOVE this song.

KISS THE GIRL - The LITTLE MERMAID

I'm such a sap. I LOVE this song. Yes, I'm the fool who sang along while it was playing. After I found it, I had to "check" to make sure the link worked just so I could sing it again.

P.S. My favorite part is when the seagull comes and does his screeching "wahhh wah wah" part.

TAKE ON ME - A-HA (family guy version)

THIS IS THE MOMENT - SEBASTIAN BACH

A BIKE AND GOD

Little Carol came into the kitchen where her mother was making dinner.

Her birthday was coming up and she thought this was a good time to tell her mother what she wanted. 'Mom, I want a bike for my birthday.'

Now, Little Carol was a bit of a troublemaker. She had gotten into trouble at school and at home. Carol's mother asked her if she thought she deserved to get a bike for her birthday. Little Carol, of course, thought she did.

Carol's mother, being a Christian woman, wanted her to reflect on her behavior over the last year, and write a letter to God and tell him why she deserved a bike for her birthday. Little Carol stomped up the steps to her room and sat down to write God a letter.

LETTER 1:

Dear God:

I have been a very good girl this year and I would like a bike for my birthday. I want a red one.

Your friend, Carol

Carol knew this wasn't true. She had not been a very good girl this year, so she tore up the letter and started over.

LETTER 2:

Dear God:

This is your friend Carol. I have been a pretty good girl this year, and I wouldlike a red bike for my birthday.

Thank you, Carol

Carol knew this wasn't true either. She tore up the letter and started again.

LETTER 3:

Dear God:

I know I haven't been a good girl this year. I am very sorry. I will be a good girl if you just send me a red bike for my birthday.

Thank you, Carol

Carol knew, even if it was true, this letter was not going to get her a bike. By now, she was very upset. She went downstairs and told her mother she wanted to go to church. Carol's mother thought her plan had worked because Carol looked very sad.

'Just be home in time for dinner,' her mother said. Carol walked down the street to the church and up to the altar. She looked around to see if anyone was there. She picked up a statue of the Virgin Mary , slipped it under her jacket and ran out of the church, down the street, into her house, and up to her room. She shut the door and sat down and wrote her letter to God.

LETTER 4:

I GOT YOUR MAMA.

IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN, SEND THE BIKE.

Signed, YOU KNOW WHO

THANK U - ALANIS MORRISETTE