Feb 29, 2004


actually today a pseudo-poem came to my mind as i was sitting here thinking. yeah i know the poem is dumb.

it wasn't mean to be anything at all.

i was just kinda writing down some indiscriminate words and statements for future consideration and lo and behold the result.

so read and enjoy.

so here we go, have fun.

i sit and perceive in all things must be

a force much greater than me.

is it an unknown and future or destiny?

many reasons to question and doubt.

many reasons to scream and shout.

many reasons to laugh and cry.

many reasons to question who or why.

many reasons to accept, or deny,

answers to questions never spoken

hidden in ourselves, is a truth. a token

of who we really are and the reflection not broken.

I sit here and ponder these trivial things.

I sit here and wonder.

so I sit here and remain....

Feb 25, 2004


Have you ever notice that the moment before you get something dumped on you, you get one of these phrases barked (or cooed, depending on who's saying it)at you.

“There is no 'I' in team”...”take one for the team”...”it's all about teamwork”...”the team is right behind you”...”the team depends on you” or something similar to one of these phrases.

I find it hard to believe that I am doing anything with a team. If it is/was a team effort why am "I" all of a sudden responsible for the team? Where is the rest of the team? Why should "I" take one for the team, because there is 'no "I" in team!' But there is a "me" in team, along with meat and tame.

I sit here reflecting on that little word. I know it probably derives from ancient text that I should probably research, if I really cared that much to learn the etymology of the word, but I don't want to. But if you're just as lazy as me, we'll all just accept that the fact that the word "team" has a rich and beautiful history.

Back to my tirade, I realize "team" is the perfect word for patsy, sucker and weak-willed. It's a word perfectly designed to play on the fear of being an individual and alone.

Would you care for some proof?

OK, these are just observations that I have made over the years.

First of all...when I was in soccer (back then I was bamboozled into thinking I had to be a part of a team...... but I'm much better now) when the team was running the “end of practice” laps, the stars of the team made sure they were far out front and out pacing us insecure sheep.

When the running was done, the coach was there to tell us wheezing and gasping fodder, err i mean athletes, that we were weak and not supporting the team (but had anyone seen this particular display, five individuals were standing there smug, while the rest of the "team" was berated).

The coach than made this inspirational statement, which sparked the thought that became an idea that a few years later became this little space on the web.

"I need to see hustle the few can't carry the team, THERE IS NO "I" IN TEAM!!

Thats also when a smart-ass individual that would eventually evolve into the man typing on this particular keyboard, started to rear his ugly face. I was always accused of speaking before thinking. This would be one of those moments. I raised my hand and said "But coach there is a 'me' in team and without the 'me' there is no team.”

20 laps later I realized that maybe, just maybe, I'm not a "team" player. I eventually walked away from the game of soccer.

My story doesn't end there, though. A few years after that incident, I was working at Arby's, (the following scene would continue at every place of employment), and I was asked to cover a shift because someone called in sick. Normally, I would have said 'yes,' but this is one of those times that I had actually made some after work plans.

So I said "sorry I can't".

The statement that followed was simple and to the point. "You know Jose' we are a team here and as a team we do have to cover for each other".

Thats also when a smart-ass individual that was still evolving into the man typing on this particular keyboard, started to rear his ugly face. I was always accused of speaking before thinking. This would be one of those moments. I raised my hand and said "But Randy, you do know that there is a 'me' in team and without the 'me' there is no team.”

Three days later, after my suspension for insubordination, I was back at work, albeit with a chip on my shoulder. I would eventually be promoted TEAM leader (which is a nice way of saying Assistant Managers Bitch). In true Jose fashion, after I received the little plastic name tag with my name engraved into it, I looked at Randy and said "Randy, you do know that there is a 'me' in team and without the 'me' there is no team.”

That story still makes me chuckle.

As I bring this to an end, no, I am not a team player. Not being a team player means I take both credit and blame for all that "I" do. There may be no "I" in team, but there is an "I" in individual, intelligent and integrity. So stay true and be true to yourself.

Feb 23, 2004


"Mother is the name of God on the lips and hearts of all children." -Eric Draven from the Motion Picture "The Crow"

I heard it the other day for the millionth time and I thought "That's so true!!!" So, I figured I'd write it down. This would be a pretty powerful sentiment, that sometimes as we get older, cranky and senile, we tend to overlook the biggest things in our life, that take up the littlest spaces.

Feb 2, 2004


Here's a warning to all of us who partake in the slacker lifestyle. Big brother is, indeed, watching, and getting excited!

My boss once asked me why I didn't finish the paperwork that the previous shift left behind.

I looked at him and asked, “Excuse me?”

“Jose, I was just wondering why you didn't finish the second shift paperwork, I mean you do work third shift, and you do have a lot of down time don't you?”

“No Clyde, I do not. Between the normal third shift duties, which includes washing the towels for the unit, you also put me in charge of ordering the clothes and sundries for the kids and the cleaning supplies and extra sundries for the unit. I also get all the paperwork ready for the week, reorder the progress sheets, and get the menu ready. Don't forget that you also wanted me to make sure the dish sink and the bathroom sinks were clean and had soap at them. Let's add 2-3 bed checks every hour, and since last night was Wednesday, I also had to make sure the bed sheets were washed, dried and folded. Plus you want me to make sure the office stays clean. So NO CLYDE, I did not have any down time.”

So he left a note in our communication book. Which is a notebook that most of the employees don't ever fill out much less read. Saying each shift had to take care of their own paperwork. Which pretty much means I now have no more extra responsibilities.

Now what Clyde did not know was that everything I said I had to do I could pretty much do in about 3-4 hours.

So what exactly did I do with my down time?
I would watch DVDs on the Playstation 2. I would go through 2-3 DVDs a night.

I watched X-files, Buffy the Vampire Slayer and every bad film Burt Reynolds was in from Smokey and the Bandit to Stroker Ace. I had access to technology that could play DVDs, so I watched DVDs.

If I forgot to rent some DVDs for the night, I played video games on the PS2. I would play the most current version of FINAL FANTASY or GTA. I borrowed the game and now I got to show off how much I absolutely suck at playing them.

Of course if I wasn't in the mood for either of those slacker addictions there was always the INTERNET.

I know some of you need and use the Internet for appropriate reasons, and some of them are even good reasons.

Not me.

If I wasn't looking at (ahem, cough, cough) type of sites I would be using yahoo messenger. That's how I kept in touch with my best friend. I would read on line comics and write on my blog (which became a daily activity).

That was what this slacker did when there was no one around. I bet my boss would be angry if he ever read this.