BE HONEST NO MATTER WHAT

01. Who was your last text from? And how old are they?

Well by text if you mean email...than it would be the make my penis bigger people.
If by text you mean snail mail, than that would be the Electric Company.
If you mean one of those small hand held devices that most people find more important to use when they should be paying attention to the fact that they are behind the wheel of a vehicle, than that would be 4 years ago, and it was some girl who I met "the morning after".

02. Where was your default picture taken?

Right before a friend of my wife's wedding.

03. What's your middle name?

It's usually the name after your first name, unless you have more than 3 names...than I am not too sure.

04. Your current relationship status?

Married and off the market. No resale value.

05. Does your crush like you back ?

I don't know if Orange, Grape, Strawberry, Chocolate, Cherry, Peach, Blue Raspberry, Diet Orange, Diet Cream Soda, Diet Grape, Crush Frozen Orange Dream, Sour Apple (briefly offered in 2005), Lime Crush, Pineapple Crush, Crush Birch Beer, Crush Cream Soda (Canada only), Crush Grape Fruit, Crush Tropical Punch or Wild Cherry Crush (1989 Johnny Bench commemorative can) really has any feelings...being that it is a soda

06. What is your current mood?

I'm awake and answering these questions as honestly as possible...so I guess my mood would be honest

07. What is your dads name?

I like to refer to him as Asshole...but that's just me.

08. What color shirt are you wearing?

Kind of a khaki.

09. Would you kiss the last person you kissed?

Isn't this a self defeating question. Apparently the answer would be yes, because umm well you already kissed them. Wouldn't it be more accurate to ask "would you kiss the last person you kissed, again?" I'm just saying.

10. If you could go back in time and change something would you?

NOPE

11. Have a crazy side?

Sure who doesn't?

12. Ever had a near death experience?

I was doing chest compressions when they died...is that "near" enough??

13. Something you do a lot?

Be angry at the world and the people who perpetuate stupidity and ignorance.

14. Angry at anyone?

See the above answer.

15. Are you a pervert?

Compared to who??
The Pope? than sure...Annie Sprinkle? than not even close

17. Last time you cried?

The last time I felt the need to

18. Who would you do anything for?

Myself...and anyone (with the exception of Mother Theresa) who says otherwise is lying.

19. Who is your hero?

Right now...let's just say Spider Jerusalem

20. Know anyone with cancer?

Know them personally...no one anymore

20. Notice there are two number twenties?

Yes I did...but I also noticed there was no "16"

21. What color describes you?

Usually...RED

22. Where is your ex?

Right after the double you and before the why

23. What is your favorite TV program?

I would say Monday Night Raw

24. Do you still watch kiddie things?

What are considered kiddie things? You know I would love to meet the writers of these things and beat them with a mannequin head so that they can learn by osmosis that truly stupid actions have truly stupid consequences

25. What are you drinking or eating at this moment?

Sugar Free Kool-Aid
Fruit Punch Flavor

26. Speak any other languages?

Yes, just not very well

27. Favorite smell?

The "it rained for 15 minutes and now it's cooled off a bit" smell

28. Describe your life.

I was born...I am aging...and one day I will die. It's not that different than what you all are going through.

29. Ever kissed in the rain?

Sure have

30. Like the rain?

Sure do

31. What are you thinking about now?

I'm thinking maybe I come across as one truly unhappy individual.

32. Favorite song?

At this moment in time I have to go with
"In to the Clear" by Andrew W.K.

33. Favorite memory?

My first kiss from my wife.

34. If you had your own TV show what would it be called?

"You Too, Can Be Canceled in One Episode"

35. How many things do you own?

Nothing. I only half own...I am Married.

36. Last person you shouted at?

That would be some dumb ass hat of a driver who can drive a car and talk on cell phone but can't seem to use directional lights.

37. Are you holding anything back from anyone?

Nothing that matters to anyone but me.

38. Do you act different around the person you like?

Different no. More honest yes.

39. Natural hair color?

Dark brown...with some white showing through

40. Last person to make you smile?

There's only one person who makes me smile and that's my WIFE!!