JESSICA, PETA AND ME

Well it seems that Jessica Simpson has officially enraged the tyrannical and militant terrorists...oops I mean PETA. I;m a "Whatever floats your boat." kind of guy. I really am. But there are times when I must exercise that "freedom of speech" thingy from that document signed by our fore fathers.

This is obviously a dig at her boy toys ex girlfriend Carie Underwood.  It's nothing more than a "you had your chance now he's mine" moment that ALL women do.  So what if she chooses steak and ribs over lettuce and tofu.  So do I.

When I first read that, my mind immediately surfaced right around the gutter, and I had a little chuckle.  I also know that Miss Underwood is also a VeggieHead (why I know THAT fact I'll never understand but I do) so it changed from a chuckle to a full blown "laugh out loud" moment.

Is it childish?  Yes.  Is it funny?  Absolutely.  Does it make me think any less of her?  Not even remotely possible, because I usually don't think about her at all!

Then PETA reared it's ugly head.

Now I am doing something I have never done before.  I am here to defend Jessica Simpson.

1. Meat increases the risk of breast cancer. A 2007 study of 35,000 women published in the British Journal of Cancer found that women who ate meat were far more likely to develop breast cancer than women who consumed none. Will Jessica's next t-shirt will say, "Real Girls Smoke 3 Packs a Day"?

I find this so amazing that I had my crack staff look into this.  You know what that crack staff found out?  That a 2007 study of death say that death affects 100 percent of all people involved.  The scare tactic IS using the words "far more likely"

"Far more likely" means simply, it could happen and we are guessing that it could happen because the conditions are right, but were still not 100 percent sure.  So we'll use the term "far more likely" and that will be taken as fact.

2. Real girls don't support animal abuse. Compassion is super sexy, if the huge number of hot celebs ditching meat is any indication. Young women turn vegetarian in droves when they learn that the meat industry cuts the sensitive beaks off newborn chicks and cuts off the tails of baby piglets.

I don't CARE what celebs do!!  The choices they make do not influence my life in the least!!  I don't drive a hybrid.  I don't talk about how much I hate the president or that he's a war monger.  I don't care what celebs are doing in the least.  Celebs are the second most filmed people in the world.  The first are the people who get filmed at scene of a tragic event.  Than just talk pure shit.  Like people who live along a lake/river and are completely surprised when the lake/river claims their property.  Only to rebuild in THE SAME EXACT SPOT.  Then are completely surprised when it happens AGAIN!!

Lastly, compassion may be sexy, but one thing I have never heard any of my friends say wow...look at her compassion, that is so sexy!  Usually it's a more physical thing that catches their eyes.

3. The meat industry is destroying the Earth. The only thing that's hot about the meat industry is that it's toasting the planet. According to the United Nations, raising animals for food causes more greenhouse-gas emissions than all the cars, trucks, SUVs, planes, and ships in the world combined.

That maybe true, but if you veggieheads stopped eating all the green things that take those harmful emissions and turn them into breathable air, we wouldn't have that problem.  Speaking of removing green things...how many acres of trees do you think have been eliminated by "celebs" so they can have their palatial estates?  Just wondering.

4. Meat will make you fat. All the saturated fat and cholesterol in chicken wings, pork chops, and steak eventually leads to flabby thighs and love handles. I hope the upcoming "Jessica Simpson's Intimates" line comes in plus sizes!

NO!!  MEAT WILL NOT MAKE YOU FAT!!  EATING MAKES YOU FAT!  I know this.  I like to eat.

"Going vegetarian is the best way to get slim and stay that way."

NO AGAIN!!  EXERCISE IS THE BEST WAY TO GET SLIM AND STAY THAT WAY.  I don't like to exercise. 

I like to eat.  I don't like to exercise. Thus I am fat.  I make no excuses.

5. Eating meat steals food from starving kids. Jessica's trip to help kids in Africa got a lot of media buzz, but by gnawing on meat, she's essentially stealing food from the mouths of starving children since it takes up to 16 pounds of grain to produce just 1 pound of meat. If more people went vegetarian, we'd free up enough grain to feed every person in the world.

No, if the society, religion and beliefs protects a possible food source, they are starving by choice.

If farmers are letting their crops spoil because it's to costly to farm it, that's taking food out of every bodies mouths, not just "the starving children", because obviously the starving adults don't get mentioned, so they must not matter.



So to end this spiel, which has grown a lot longer than originally intended,

There is nothing wrong with being a vegetarian as a lifestyle choice.  I don't care what you choose.  But DO NOT FORCE FEED ME YOUR VIEWS SO SCREW YOU PETA!!

Jessica eat whatever makes you happy.

I myself am about to go cook me up some pork chops.  C'mon over if you want some.