ME VS. NATURE

A few friends of mine went camping over the weekend, and an invitation was extended towards me. I declined stating that the last time I went camping the pool at the Holiday Inn was out of service and I was very unhappy.

Her response was "You people make me sick! If my 36 year old ass can hang in the great outdoors so can everyone elses. I stick my nose in the air at your hotels!"


Now this didn't bother me per say, but it did get me thinking. Which of course got me writing...


Nature is and has always been a beauty to behold, even in the midst of primal and and unrelenting fury. The cloudless skies that can become dark and ominous in mere moments.

The softly falling rain that transforms into a torrential downpour which can turn streams into rivers and rivers into liquid destruction.

The gently falling snow that becomes a blinding blizzard, stopping a city in it's tracks.

Nature has always held a fascination with me.

I do enjoy a nice hike in woods. Nothing fill me with greater sense of serenity, than to stand on any type of shore. The sunrise and sunset still take my breath away. Running barefoot in the mud during a rainstorm instantly takes me back to days of innocence. I can stare at a rainbow, until it finally fades from the sky. Thunderstorms fills me with excitement and passion.

Although, just because nature fills me with awe and wonder, I know when to fear it.

I am not one of those rough and rugged individuals, that needs to prove to myself how well I can take on the great outdoors.

I love the comfort that electricity provides. Television, air conditioning, lights and internet access being some of my favorite things.

Sure it was a camp ground, but sleeping on the ground (even on a sleeping bag or air mattress) does not fill my thoughts with any form of pleasure.

I readily enjoy all the advancements in technology that allow food to be stored and prepared in a very timely fashion. Going upstairs to nuke leftovers and have a satisfying meal in 45 seconds is, in my very humble opinion, a little bit of heaven.

I am not a fan of cooking over a campfire. I don't like s'mores.

OK, I'll admit a meal prepared on a grill does have it's place...although NOT if I have to cook it.

There's this restaurant called "the Prime Quarter" where you pay for your meal, but you have to cook it too! I know that does appeal to some, but I'll pay the extra five bucks to have the guy who gets paid to work there, to cook my meal.

If I wanted to cook a meal I'm paying for, I would have stayed home.

Now the most important reason, camping does not hold me in it's sinewy grasp...

There's nature out in the great outdoors.

There's plants that can leave you all rashy and make you sick.

There's bugs that bite, sting, burrow into your flesh and worst of all...fly into your mouth, ears and up your nose.

Do I have to mention the wild animals? Sure opossums, raccoons and skunks are so cute on TV. But they bite and scratch too. Not to mention the skunk smell lasts for days.

There's coyotes, wolves, bears and snakes. These wild animals can kill you. Just in case you missed the key word there is KILL.

I am not equipped to face the nature's fury. Claws, fangs, wings, talons, great strength or speed, was not part of my evolutionary makeup.

And to those few who claim the opposable thunbs are natures equalizer, I dare you to show your thumb to the bear that's mauling you.

So my dear friend of over 20 years...you may stick your nose up at "my hotels" but when your weekend is over, I'll be the guy who recently stepped out of a nice HOT shower, who slept like a baby in an air conditioned room, on a soft bed, after soaking in the jacuzzi, who had two wonderfully prepared meals and wrote on his blog with no fear of wild animals attacking me and rending flesh from bone, I say to you...

"You people make me sick! If my 36 year old ass can hang in a hotel so can everyone elses. I stick my nose in the air at your great outdoors!"

OK, technically I didn't do any of the above, except write my blog, but the option IS open to me.



Currently listening:

No Respect
By Vain