COACE Archive: WHY SO SERIOUS?

Stupid, conceited and arrogant Computer Monkey. Spiking my Red Bull. Last time I rent "Planet of the Apes" for him. And he got monkey juice all over the keyboard. I hate it when he cybers and doesn't clean up.

Sorry about that rant ladies and gentleman. My "employee" seems to think that he's being funny. I will give him some credit, some of his comments did cause me to chuckle.

I said some!

Jerk.

Well when I do housework, the day seems to get away from me,

which means that I have to go with the old 'plan B'.

So here ya go...a long survey, with more than just one or two word answers. And for one of those very few times, all my answers will be kept to a fairly serious tone. Or not. We'll just have to see.

If the world was to end tomorrow, what would you be doing right now?

Probably the same thing I am doing now. It's only the end of the world. It's not like it's the end of time and space. Maybe there would be some far distant future being who would unearth my waste of space, and all of a sudden the church of Jose Says brings peace, love and prosperity to the universe.

What was the last thing you heard?
I'm listening to Martina McBride's "Anyway"

and before that I heard the "tap tap tap" of my keyboard.

Do you think slavery was wrong?
Slavery is wrong. One should never hold another human being as property

...although for all you religious zealots, here's a little bit of 'wisdom' from the bible.

“Your male and female slaves are to come from the nations around you; from them you may buy slaves. You may also buy some of the temporary residents living among you and members of their clans born in your country, and they will become your property.”(Leviticus 25:44-45

How's that for irony.

Have you ever seen somebody get shot?

Thankfully no. There are somethings in this world I wish never to witness, this being one of them.

Do you use big words?

Yes I do, but only when the sentence calls for that particular word.

Have you ever been called a 'slut' or 'whore'?

Yes I have, on more than one occasion too. Although my favorite time I was being called that by a girlfriend who after her tirade, had become an ex-girlfriend.

Have you ever injected a drug?

No, but I have had a few doctors and nurses inject me. Not something I care for at all.

When was the last time you saw your father?

I think I was about 5-6 years old. My aunt was watching me, and he came for a visit and gave me $20.00

Name a lyric from the song you’re listening to?

and she swears there's nothing wrong,
I hear her playing that same old song
she puts me off and puts me on

Do you use your friends?

No, I do not use my friends. Although they do like to use me.

Do you have to check in with your parents before you go someplace?

No I do not have to check in with anybody.

How often do you shower?

Usually once a day, sometimes twice. Or whenever I have more "funk" then George Clinton.

Do you have any picture frames in your room?

No I do not. All my pictures are in boxes in the garage.

Where did you spend

Christmas Day was spent at my mothers house.

Ever smoked a cigarette?

Yes. Yes I have. Quite a few as a matter of fact and for a number of years.

Do you think the whole day is better if you smoke pot?

No. Not the whole day.

The screen name you have now, was it your first screen name?
No, as a matter of

fact my first screen name was "Nightgaunt"

Do you get good grades?

No. I never got good grades.

I always got average grades.

Have you ever been intoxicated twice in one week?

Yes. Yes I have. But not for a few weeks now.

Do you know a secret about anybody?

We all know a secret about somebody. That's like asking if you know someone named Jesus.

Who cooks dinner in your home?

My roommate and I split the cooking duties. Although I do prefer when she cooks.

Did you ever go to a special learning center?

No, I never did.

Does a kiss make you feel better?

Yes and no. One kiss did. It's the kiss that every kiss that came before and has come after has been judged against, and they have all been found lacking.

Do you start the water before you get in the shower or when you get in?

Before I get in. I have a tendency to either freeze myself or scald myself.

Have you ever brushed your teeth while in the shower?

I use to do it all the time, until I made the mistake of rinsing my hair and rinsing out the toothpaste at the same time.

Have you ever had stitches?

Yes, when they removed three keloids.

How long ago did you hug someone?

3 hours and 21 minutes ago (obviously I wrote this answer at 12:21 A.M.). It was at 9:05 P.M. It's a post meeting ritual.

Do you like the Red Sox or Yankees?

Neither. I'm not into baseball at all.

What are you doing this weekend?

I have a couple appointments but other than that nothing.

Whats your favorite cereal?

My favorite unhealthy cereal is Frosted Flakes, and the healthy cereal is Grape Nuts.

Have you ever had an oreo with peanut butter on it?

No, I'm afraid I haven't. I don't think I will either. It just does not sound appealing.

What are you doing today?

I'm making a few phone calls, going to the bank and I have an appointment at 8:00.

Where’s your favorite place to be?

Sadly it's a place I know I will never be in again.

What’s your favorite song?

Right now my favorite song is Andrew W.K.'s "Into the Clear"

Are you more of a coffee or tea drinker?

I am a Red Bull drinker. Lots and lots of Red Bull.

Have you ever thrown shoes on a telephone wire?

Are you kidding? I like my shoes.

Have you ever climbed up a water tower?

No, mainly because I'm a coward.

Have you ever been arrested?

Yes I have. Although the police officers who arrested me, said I was the "most compliant and well behaved arrest they ever had." Yay me.

Do you dream in black and white?

Ironically I do not. I'm told this is not normal.

Do you talk in your sleep?

I don't know. I don't think so.

Funniest thing you heard?

Him - "She's so hot!"
Me - "Dude she's an amazon, she can kick your ass!"
Him - "I know, just like Xena."
Me - "Dude She's so hot!"

Last time you had butterflies in your stomach?