Nov 17, 2009


“This -- this was what made life: a moment of quiet, the water falling in the fountain, the girl's voice... a moment of captured beauty. He who is truly wise will never permit such moments to escape.” -  Louis L'Amour

I've been in my head, mulling over my existence over the last few weeks.  Where I've been, what I've done, where I'm going and where I need to go, but rarely do I think about the present.

This exact moment.

And I don't know why?

The present is the easiest place in our place in time to think about.  It takes no amount of energy because it's happening at this precise moment.  The facts are easiest to recall, because they are happening to you with every breath that enters your lungs.  It's happening as every ounce of blood travels through your body; feeding, nourishing and healing.  At this specific place and time, while you sit and read these words, it is the only moment that should exist.  To live, grow and experience the exact instant that the universe happens.

That seems to be the only place that I can't seem to live in or grasp the concept of.  I can talk and remember the past and I can speculate about the future but I am at a loss when it comes to enjoying the present.

If you take a moment to stop and look around yourself, you can really see the world and yourself in the purest form.  You can see yourself alive.  You can see what is so completely important and vital to really understand yourself and the world you live in.

How glorious is that?

And how heartbreaking it is to know that it's just slightly out of reach.

I've spent so much time, energy and emotions thinking about everything else.

Like most of us, I've never stopped to realize what the world has to show me.

How often have we taken the time to be completely lost in the exact moment of any given experience?

When you think of nothing but the kiss and you don't have thoughts like I hope my breath doesn't smell.  When you hug a loved one and enjoy the closeness and surrender of that person, and you don't think about how crappy your day has gone.  When you have a good laugh and enjoy that moment of bliss, without feeling selfconscious when no one else seems to laugh as loud or as long.

I wonder how much of the world I have missed by not paying attention to the here and now.  Even as I write this, I have a foot in yesterday, contemplating what I have missed.

I have been in so may diverse situations that had I been in the moment, I could have really opened my eyes to each every wonderful and painful moment.  Instead I have wasted so much of myself in the "could have's and should have's", that I wonder if I even know how to live in the moment.

My CD and Book recommendations

Lords of Acid - Lust

Belinda by Anne Rice

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