ORIGINALLY POSTED 7/13/08
A few years after the "Belly and the Bottle" incident at the Spot, I decided to see if things had changed at all.
Yes, I am a glutton for punishment.
No, I am not a fast learner.
I asked my girlfriend at the time (after this I will refer to her as "the ex") if she wanted to go with me. She completely surprised me by saying "Why not. This way I can see what the big deal with strip clubs is all about."
We went to the Spot, but somethings had changed.
The place had been bought, remodeled, renamed and the talent had been upgraded. I was shocked, to say the least.
The Spot-lite had been turned into a pretty decent establishment. It was clean. I forgot to mention previously that hygiene and cleanliness was not that big on the Spot's list of must do activities. It actually had a stage, well it was more of a riser but, still technically a stage. The bar itself was a separate entity, where the fear of getting a stripper heel in your drink or knocking over an ash tray was no longer a concern
It had about 75 or so patrons of all legal age groups.
There were nine dancers and not a single scar or "belly covering thong" was present. They were all attractive and could actually dance.
The two bartenders were both young and very good at their trade. Which means I did not have to wait for a single drink. I was thinking "Well alright. My bad strip club mojo has finally ended." (Ironically, the next strip club I would go to would end up to be, and still is, my favorite place for my 3B's. Boobies, beers, and burgers.)
The ex and I find a seat at the bar with a good view of the stage, when one of the dancers comes over and starts talking to us.
Besides one of the bartenders and the exotic dancers, the ex was the only female in there. I jokingly said, "You're the only girl in here not getting paid." The ex did not find that funny, but I was giggling like a ten year old who hears the teacher say penis.
The dancer asked us the usual questions that dancers ask as they non-verbally demand their tip.
Her - "How are you guys doing?"
Me - "I'm good and yourself?" I learned from my B & B Adventure with Mike that being polite and using manners is always a good way to start a conversation with a half nekkid lady that you just met.
The ex - "Fine."
Her - "Did/are you enjoying the show?"
Me - "We walked in at the tail end of your routine, so we didn't really catch it." I learned from Dino, that if you say that to the dancer, it's a "get out of tipping" comment. Usually reserved for the ones who did not put on a good performance, or if you REALLY did just walk in.
The ex - "Sorry, I was to busy looking for an open bar spot."
Her - "Is this your first time here?"
Me - "Well I was here when it was just the Spot, but the place looks great now." I learned from Dino, always compliment the establishment. You never know if you'll be back, or if you'll run across the same dancer at another establishment.
The ex - "Yes. I wanted to see what the big deal with strip clubs was."
Her - "Well I'll be back on stage in about an hour, I hope you stick around."
Me - "Well my calender is clear." Insert laugh here.
The ex - "I guess."
So we sat there, drinking our alcoholic beverages of choice and another dancer came around after her set to non-verbally demand her tip and, she pretty much asked the same questions with the exception of the "back on stage" comment.
The answers stayed more or less the same.
Next thing I know the first dancer sits next to the ex and starts talking to her. They are laughing and talking which results in yours truly able to enjoy the current performer on the stage.
For some unknown reason I get this feeling, like something isn't kosher.
The dancer and the ex are still deep in conversation. Yet my spider sense is tingling.
The current dancer finishes her set, and does the walk around. She get's to the area where the ex, the first dancer, and I are sitting and she joins in their conversation.
She gets her tip.
Looks at me and goes "Hi."
Me - "Hello. So are you having a good night?"
Her 3 - "It's pretty good."
I give her the tip.
Her 3 - "Thank you."
Me - "You're..."
She walks to the next eager patron.
Me - "welcome."
That funny feeling I had before, is starting to become clear...so I wait and see if it happens again.
Dancers 4, 6, and 8 all ask the usual questions.
Dancers 5, 7, and 9 do not.
I glance over at the ex and notice that she and dancer 1 are still talking.
Then the light bulb finally illuminates those dark crevices of thought.
The motions, the laughs, the hair twirling, the glancing touches, I know I have seen this all before. It's the things that girls who are flirting do.
I wave the bartender over, order a drink and I casually ask him "So five of the dancers are lesbians aren't they?"
Bartender - "Uh yeah, five of the girls ARE gay."
Me - "The one talking to the ex is too, isn't she?"
Bartender - "Yeah, she is." Insert bartender laugh.
Her - "I gotta get ready for my set."
The ex - "OK."
Dancer 1 leaves.
Me - "The ex, you do realize she's been flirting with you."
The ex - "What?!"
Me - "Ask the bartender."
The ex - "Is she...?"
Bartender - "Yeah" Insert bartender laugh...again "She is."
And you can see the realization come across the ex's face.
The ex - "Jose, we ARE leaving now."
Me - "Umm OK."
Why was there an "umm" moment? Because it dawned on me, that the ex was getting hit on, and I was chopped liver. The ex was getting real flirt action, while your unsung hero, wasn't even getting fake flirt action. Which is quite a massive blow to the frail male ego.
I have never returned to the Spot/Spot-lite.
NEXT DISAPPOINTMENT 3 - IT'S NOT EASY BEING ORANGE