100 THINGS ABOUT ME

Good day to all who read this...this is the translation for all my recent entries. I guess I’m telling you because soon it’s going to be written in other languages in their characters so now you'll know what it means. Well anyways I’ve been meaning to do this for a while, I thought it would be a cool thing to do. It’s basically a list of 100 things about me that you didn't know. While there are a few of you who know some of these things its a way for the rest of you to get to know me...so here we go


1 I'm Mexican not Hispanic


2 I hate having short hair


3 my mom is one of my closest and best friends


4 my dad is not


5 I have many siblings but only call one my sister


6 my mom gave birth to her


7 I’m the older of 2 (by 12 years)


8 I love snow leopards


9 I’m at work right now


10 this is actually pretty hard to do


11 I’m also an uncle to a niece I’ve met once


12 I love Chinese food


13 I hate spicy food (no not the garlic kind, the melts your tongue kind)


14 I watch wrestling


15 I have since I was 5


16 I love to read


17 I love music


18 so far I've never been arrested


19 so far never had a ticket of any kind


20 I have a real respect for law enforcement they are just doing their jobs


21 I smoke


22 have smoked since I was 15


23 I started because I was bored at work


24 in my immediate family I’m the only smoker


25 smoked pot for the first time when I was 27


26 my virginity was lost at age 12


27 it is a regret


28 I am/was a father at 16.  I didn't know


29 the child was aborted


30 Tina told me almost 2 years later


31 I still hate her


32 that’s the age I currently am


33 I plan on changing that every year


34 I think Johnny Depp is beautiful and talented as an actor


35 no I’m not gay


36 Just that comfortable with myself


37 I hate facial hair


38 I hate shaving more


39 I know it is possible to cut your self with an electric shaver


40 I hate liars


41 I'm good at listening


42 I'm good at talking


43 I'm bad at patience


44 I like cartoons


45 I don't like it when people don't give them a chance


46 I hate people who tell me I’m not using my full potential


47 I love movies


48 I love Amy lee's voice (ask if you don't know)


49 I’ve had 9 girlfriends


50 in high school, I missed 223 days


51 I had to repeat my senior year


52 I graduated and hang my diploma proudly (although its at my moms)


53 I like Jack Daniels


54 he usually hates me the next day


55 I’m not religious


56 but I am spiritual


57 I’m going to have a cigarette now


58 I’m back


59 silence bothers me


60 I don't like crowds


61 I have a fear of ladders and heights


62 I love to laugh


63 I also cry


64 I never cheated on my most current ex


65 she's the only I never cheated on


66 I have a pet chinchilla


67 I want a Great Pyrenees


68 I love 80's hair bands (remember when they were called glam bands?)


69 hehehehehehe


70 I write poetry


71 I think its just ok


72 I like backstreet boys and n*synch


73 I love my job


74 I want to name my son Kyle Jeffery


75 I’ll probably never have children


76 this thought is a sad one


77 I want to get married some day


78 this also will probably never happen


79 I want to name my daughter Ryoko Nicole


80 I have 2 tattoos


81 I want many more


82 I’m easy to talk to


83 I’m easy to get along with


84 I’m impossible to live with


85 I love my car


86 I have no attention span for video games


87 except for Tetris


88 I was born on June 2nd 1972


89 I love driving to new places


90 I hate the city I live in


91 I’m 5'10" and overweight


92 for the first time ever, I’m living on my own


93 that's changing in a couple of days


94 I don't know if I’m keen on that idea


95 my smile is my best feature


96 I’m content right now


97 I don't believe in sharing, if it's mine, it’s mine


98 I never want to see Mexico


99 I’m fiercely loyal to my friends


100 the only reason I do this is because my friend Beverly had a blog site and I thought it was kind of cool, so I started one too. Thank you Bev


and with that

I still and will always remain

Jose AKA J2

ps although now you all know a little more about me  

A NEEDLE'S KISS

an invading kiss

that rips into my skin,

you're lava like tongue

tracing my veins,

you're single tooth

leading me in a death dance,

not releasing me.

forever in your thrall.

holding me in your grasp,

an unrelenting need,

an reproachable hunger,

that makes me a prisoner,

in my own flesh.

your seduction complete.

like a cast iron grip

that scares my mind,

my body

and my soul,

if you ever leave me,

even for just a moment.

a longing left in me

by you,

my needle's kiss.

a desperation to feel...

anything,

anything at all.

TIME

time.

ticks away
at the same speed,
second by second,
but when desire and wants
are added to the dance,
fleeting they are,
and forever they take.
time ticks away
at the same speed,
minute by minute,
but when like and love
are added to the dance,
there's never enough,
or it takes too long.
time ticks away
at the same speed,
hour by hour,
but when longing and yearning
are added to the dance,
that which remains
but for a brief time
and eternity stands permanent,
time ticks away
at the same speed,
never fast enough
and never long enough.

time

I TOOK MY FIRST STEP TODAY

i took my first step today.

the same as i did tomorrow,

i tripped yet i stood up,
than got back down to fall again,

the sidewalk gets smaller the closer i converge,

i'm nearly to my destination,
only to realize i never left,

i looked down at the sidewalk,
only to see the sky looking up at me,

i was walking nowhere,
getting farther than ever before,

i was losing my sanity,
only to stay insane,

I took my first step today.

different than i did yesterday,

i walked off the sidewalk,
to find myself already there,

to ask myself

'what took you so long?'

only to respond 'i was found but now i'm lost',

i laughed at myself,

'you were caged, now you're free' i said,

'being free is frightening' was my reply,

'yeah it is' i answered 'but feeling "anything" is new to you',

'i felt things before' i countered,

'you never felt alive or free before' i retorted,

i took my first step today.

than i took my second.

than i took my third...

REFLECTIONS

Who do you see,

my reflective twin,

my mirror self.

What do you see,

when you stare back at me?

Do you even like that person?

Or do you hate him?

Do you envy me?

Are you jealous because of my substance?

Or am I empty just like you,

flat and two dimensional,

with no real shape.

Am I just a reflection of you?

Am I the mirror image to your existence?

Do you see the person I used to be?

That angry man I used to be.

The child I pretend to be.

Or do you see me the way I am now?

Confused and questioning myself.

Am I living or existing?

Do you see the person I will soon become?

Do you pass judgment on where I’ve been?

Do you see a child, an adolescent, or an adult?

Do you see my joy, my anger, my tears my smile?

Do you know my soul, my heart?

Do you see me?

Do you care to see me?

That’s the question I ask of you, my reflection.

Who do you see when you look at me?

Are you only happy when I’m happy?

Are you only sad when I’m sad?

Do you only see me when I see you?

Or do I only see me when I see you?

SUDDENLY

Suddenly...

it comes to me in a flash of light,

like a bolt of lightning,

dancing and cutting the darks skies.

Suddenly...

like a raging inferno,

enveloping, scorching, searing,

melting and blistering my very essence.

Suddenly...

wide-awake and attentive,

my insight to reality,

now vigilant and wary.

Suddenly...

apprehensive,

to the relevant and obscure.

Suddenly...

everything makes sense.

Suddenly...

absorbed to the banalities

of what isn't

and what won't be.

Suddenly...

I find myself absent,

devoid and hollow.

Suddenly...

I feel a longing,

hungering,

so ravenous,

still craving and yearning for everything.

Yet, all is unobtainable,

absurd,

futile,

impassable,

impractical,

unfeasible,

unreasonable,

unthinkable,

useless,

and unattainable.

Suddenly...

I feel so...alive.

Yet I am not yet born.

Suddenly...

IT'S MAH BIRFDAY WOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOO

Hi one and all, Its my birthday and well its really early in the AM, so, I'll be back later to actually write. Thank you...buh bye 4 now.


Jose

THE 4 AM PHILOSOPHER

Hello, hi, and howdy all you losers, freaks and geeks! You all be my peeps, my peers and my friends.

It's been an emotional tornado, a spiritual revitalization, and one damn confusing time. Now I know we've all been there, and some of us will go there again and again.

So just remember you're never alone, even when there's nobody there.

Now what philosophical gibberish am I spewing with the force of projectile vomit?

I have no clue. I never do. I think it I type it. It comes to me in this torrential wave of needing to say something yet never knowing what it is I have to say. I simply call it the "the bullshit world of Jose and my need to drag you all in".

Behind the mask of a higgledy-piggledy, topsy-turvy and slaphappy fool, lies the heart of a confused, scared, happy, sad and angry young man.

Unless you think 30-something is old than that last part changes to old man.

"I'm sorry everything I do is wrong, to you and, you do everything you can to make me feel subhuman".

But my story and life are as unwritten as that to-do list we always tell ourselves we're going to write. Or the New Years resolutions that we never intend to keep.

Confused yet?

It's OK, so am I. But that's cool, we're supposed to be confused. We're not supposed to know all the answers. We are supposed to be imperfect creatures.

Why? OK, here's why. If we know everything than how do we make ourselves a better people? If there is nothing to learn or tribulations to endure, we ourselves become a mere shadow of existence. Never truly alive or living. Just an empty silhouette of someone we have the potential to be, yet never achieving it.

But through the challenges of everyday life for example

• waking up
• talking to the person who you find attractive
• roller blading for the first time
• even just smiling at someone

it is through this simple yet minuscule challenges that make, define and stimulate the greater person you are destined to be. I like that about us humans. We have potential...now prove me wrong like you always do.

I BREATHE IN AND BREATH OUT, PUT ONE FOOT IN FRONT OF THE OTHER

On this day I start a new life in the same way I started my “life.”

Kicking, screaming, surrounded by strangers, hoping someone will hold me and keep me safe.

I have come to terms with my fear of being alone. I slept in a bed knowing no one will be there when I wake up. I made dinner for one. I walked around my apartment looking at it for the first time. I walked around and thought to myself, “I no longer have a girlfriend who I have shared the last eight years with. I said 'goodbye' to that girl who I cared about and who I thought cared about me. Nor do I have a friend that was as close to me as a brother. Whose every word meant the world to me and who spoke the truth with absolute certainty.”

For the first time in nearly a decade, I am on my own, thinking my own thoughts and walking my own path. That's a pretty scary feeling when you see it coming and damn near paralyzing when it broadsides you. Although I am not dealing with the "Oh crap I'm lonely" fear, but the "wow, so where do I go from here" fear.

And, oddly, I'm OK with that.

My life's not over. It just rebooting. I think everyone has to hit the reboot once in a while to be able to embrace the world in all it's magnificent beauty and brutality. I stand here before you all and I'm doing it on my own terms. Naked, bare and stronger than ever before.

Just because I said goodbye doesn't mean that I hate her. All it means is that I know we won't be walking the same path together. But now and then our paths will cross as they are supposed to. Today I walk a path with a mission in my head and a quest in my soul. I intend to look for the person meant only for me. The person who will love me because of who I am. The person who will love me, even if I can't make dreams come true.

I will do all this while breathing. I'll take a deep breath in and I'll and breathe out. While placing one foot in front of the other. Taking one day at a time.

And I'll continue to do this until I'm no longer telling myself to do this. I'll keep doing this until I find that moment when I suddenly realize I'm not walking alone, and you are there. Matching me breath for breath and step for step.

LISTEN AND LEARN or PAY ATTENTION PEOPLE!!!

I feel particularly rant-full today, being surrounded by stupid mother fuckers is driving me absolutely insane. Today I had the absolute pleasure of buying a lawn mower from your friendly neighborhood SEARS Lawn and Garden Center. What a bunch of anal cling-ons they are!

SECTION 1 (this is for customer service douche bags.)

Is it really hard to be happy at work? If you aren't happy don't take your shit out on me. I mean come on already. If I'm in a bad mood I sure as hell will try to keep you out of it. If you hate your job, and your job is dealing with people...well what can I say besides QUIT GODAMNIT, and stop wasting my time. There is no need to belittle the people who come to you for help. There's no need to be a pompous ass. How hard is it really, to say "I'm busy, can you give me a minute and I'll help you"? Or "sure you can borrow a pen but I need it back". Not hard at all!

SECTION 2 (this is for the customers of SEARS)

How hard is it to say "Thank you for getting the door", or "Excuse me for jabbing you in the crotch with my purse"? I'm not asking for dissertations. I'm not asking for a thesis on your PHD. I'm asking for simple consideration. I mean does anybody know the response for "thank you"? Or better yet does anyone know the precursor to the words "you're welcome"?

SECTION 3 (for all of us)

What happened to all of you? Did you all get kicked in the head? Or maybe now that we're older we can forget the niceties and polite conversations we we're forced to endure as children. When after getting a spanking you still had to say thank you. Or is it so hard to let someone finish what they are saying without interrupting? I mean it's not like anyone of us will ever run out of things to say. I mean we have movies, music, politics, romance, sex, lack of sex, who's single, who's going to be single soon, cars, woman, sex, how many times we had sex, who we wish we could have sex with (I'm a guy we talk about it all the time). So why can't we let the speaker finish his/her thought. It's not like they're going to use up all the good topics. Another thing why is it that no one ever listens to people anyway? How many times does someone ask a question only to have it answered with a bogus reply for example:

How you doing? Fine.

If you don't really want to know don't ask. If you don't want to answer say so.

Its easy people. Its not rocket science. Its simple communication skills.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is pay attention to who you are and what you say and how you say it. Its easy. Not hard at all. Just use the communication skills that you already have, which includes listening.

TO SIT AND WONDER

actually today a pseudo-poem came to my mind as i was sitting here thinking. yeah i know the poem is dumb.


it wasn't mean to be anything at all.


i was just kinda writing down some indiscriminate words and statements for future consideration and lo and behold the result.

so read and enjoy.

so here we go, have fun.



i sit and perceive in all things must be

a force much greater than me.

is it an unknown and future or destiny?

many reasons to question and doubt.

many reasons to scream and shout.

many reasons to laugh and cry.

many reasons to question who or why.

many reasons to accept, or deny,

answers to questions never spoken

hidden in ourselves, is a truth. a token

of who we really are and the reflection not broken.

I sit here and ponder these trivial things.

I sit here and wonder.

so I sit here and remain....

THERE IS NO "I" IN TEAM or THE MOST COMMON WORDS SAID RIGHT BEFORE YOU HAVE TO DO SOMETHING ON YOUR OWN

Have you ever notice that the moment before you get something dumped on you, you get one of these phrases barked (or cooed, depending on who's saying it)at you.


“There is no 'I' in team”...”take one for the team”...”it's all about teamwork”...”the team is right behind you”...”the team depends on you” or something similar to one of these phrases.


I find it hard to believe that I am doing anything with a team. If it is/was a team effort why am "I" all of a sudden responsible for the team? Where is the rest of the team? Why should "I" take one for the team, because there is 'no "I" in team!' But there is a "me" in team, along with meat and tame.


I sit here reflecting on that little word. I know it probably derives from ancient text that I should probably research, if I really cared that much to learn the etymology of the word, but I don't want to. But if you're just as lazy as me, we'll all just accept that the fact that the word "team" has a rich and beautiful history.


Back to my tirade, I realize "team" is the perfect word for patsy, sucker and weak-willed. It's a word perfectly designed to play on the fear of being an individual and alone.


Would you care for some proof?


OK, these are just observations that I have made over the years.


First of all...when I was in soccer (back then I was bamboozled into thinking I had to be a part of a team...... but I'm much better now) when the team was running the “end of practice” laps, the stars of the team made sure they were far out front and out pacing us insecure sheep.


When the running was done, the coach was there to tell us wheezing and gasping fodder, err i mean athletes, that we were weak and not supporting the team (but had anyone seen this particular display, five individuals were standing there smug, while the rest of the "team" was berated).

The coach than made this inspirational statement, which sparked the thought that became an idea that a few years later became this little space on the web.


"I need to see hustle the few can't carry the team, THERE IS NO "I" IN TEAM!!


Thats also when a smart-ass individual that would eventually evolve into the man typing on this particular keyboard, started to rear his ugly face. I was always accused of speaking before thinking. This would be one of those moments. I raised my hand and said "But coach there is a 'me' in team and without the 'me' there is no team.”


20 laps later I realized that maybe, just maybe, I'm not a "team" player. I eventually walked away from the game of soccer.


My story doesn't end there, though. A few years after that incident, I was working at Arby's, (the following scene would continue at every place of employment), and I was asked to cover a shift because someone called in sick. Normally, I would have said 'yes,' but this is one of those times that I had actually made some after work plans.


So I said "sorry I can't".


The statement that followed was simple and to the point. "You know Jose' we are a team here and as a team we do have to cover for each other".

Thats also when a smart-ass individual that was still evolving into the man typing on this particular keyboard, started to rear his ugly face. I was always accused of speaking before thinking. This would be one of those moments. I raised my hand and said "But Randy, you do know that there is a 'me' in team and without the 'me' there is no team.”


Three days later, after my suspension for insubordination, I was back at work, albeit with a chip on my shoulder. I would eventually be promoted TEAM leader (which is a nice way of saying Assistant Managers Bitch). In true Jose fashion, after I received the little plastic name tag with my name engraved into it, I looked at Randy and said "Randy, you do know that there is a 'me' in team and without the 'me' there is no team.”


That story still makes me chuckle.


As I bring this to an end, no, I am not a team player. Not being a team player means I take both credit and blame for all that "I" do. There may be no "I" in team, but there is an "I" in individual, intelligent and integrity. So stay true and be true to yourself.

WORDS TO PONDER

"Mother is the name of God on the lips and hearts of all children." -Eric Draven from the Motion Picture "The Crow"

I heard it the other day for the millionth time and I thought "That's so true!!!" So, I figured I'd write it down. This would be a pretty powerful sentiment, that sometimes as we get older, cranky and senile, we tend to overlook the biggest things in our life, that take up the littlest spaces.

CONFESSIONS OF A THIRD SHIFT SLACKER

Here's a warning to all of us who partake in the slacker lifestyle. Big brother is, indeed, watching, and getting excited!

My boss once asked me why I didn't finish the paperwork that the previous shift left behind.

I looked at him and asked, “Excuse me?”

“Jose, I was just wondering why you didn't finish the second shift paperwork, I mean you do work third shift, and you do have a lot of down time don't you?”

“No Clyde, I do not. Between the normal third shift duties, which includes washing the towels for the unit, you also put me in charge of ordering the clothes and sundries for the kids and the cleaning supplies and extra sundries for the unit. I also get all the paperwork ready for the week, reorder the progress sheets, and get the menu ready. Don't forget that you also wanted me to make sure the dish sink and the bathroom sinks were clean and had soap at them. Let's add 2-3 bed checks every hour, and since last night was Wednesday, I also had to make sure the bed sheets were washed, dried and folded. Plus you want me to make sure the office stays clean. So NO CLYDE, I did not have any down time.”

So he left a note in our communication book. Which is a notebook that most of the employees don't ever fill out much less read. Saying each shift had to take care of their own paperwork. Which pretty much means I now have no more extra responsibilities.

Now what Clyde did not know was that everything I said I had to do I could pretty much do in about 3-4 hours.

So what exactly did I do with my down time?
I would watch DVDs on the Playstation 2. I would go through 2-3 DVDs a night.

I watched X-files, Buffy the Vampire Slayer and every bad film Burt Reynolds was in from Smokey and the Bandit to Stroker Ace. I had access to technology that could play DVDs, so I watched DVDs.

If I forgot to rent some DVDs for the night, I played video games on the PS2. I would play the most current version of FINAL FANTASY or GTA. I borrowed the game and now I got to show off how much I absolutely suck at playing them.

Of course if I wasn't in the mood for either of those slacker addictions there was always the INTERNET.

I know some of you need and use the Internet for appropriate reasons, and some of them are even good reasons.

Not me.

If I wasn't looking at (ahem, cough, cough) type of sites I would be using yahoo messenger. That's how I kept in touch with my best friend. I would read on line comics and write on my blog (which became a daily activity).

That was what this slacker did when there was no one around. I bet my boss would be angry if he ever read this.

THE FASTEST MAN ALIVE or HOW MANY EXCUSES DOES IT TAKE TO GET OUT OF DOING LAUNDRY?

It’s a brisk Wednesday morning, and I just returned home from a long night at work, a quick stop at Wal-Mart and Bath and Body Works.


Now, you're asking yourself, why? Well let me tell you true believer. Let me tell you why this was such an important moment in this aging dog's life.


I was horrified and shocked that last night after my daily cleansing rituals, a revelation was made. I had no clean socks or boxers!


I asked my girlfriend at the time the most innocent and harmless of questions (in other words put my size 12's firmly in my “quick to ask slowly to think...of consequences” mouth).


That little insignificant question was... "Why haven't you done laundry yet, because I got no clean socks or boxers?"


The response to my rhetorical question was a thunderous


"SLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"


To which I subtly replied..."WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR YOU CRAZY BITCH! DAMN THAT HURT"


Needless to say, no sooner had I spoken those words that the reality of my first statement hit me. Than the reality of my second statement hit me. I never said I was a genius. But in true male fashion I stuck to my erroneous words. Of course the only thought that was permeating through the throbbing brain was "Aw SHIT".


As my exclamation hung in the air, I could actually hear her synapses firing in her brain. I stood there quietly.


In a calm and serene voice she says “Do your own damn clothes.” I was calculating the depth of the pile of fecal matter I was currently in s she walked past me and down the stairs.


Since I was getting ready for work I had no time to do laundry. I would have to wait till after my shift to be able to do laundry.


Work, on this particular evening was unusually busy and very stressful, so afterwards I was not in the mood nor did I have the energy to do laundry.


So I did what any pig-headed, tired stressed and just got paid guy would do. I went to Wal-Mart, and bought 2 packs of socks and 3 packs of underwear.


Hey, it's cool I know I'm in the wrong, but the ego of the alpha male/hunter/provider/and any other testosterone filled word that describes men at their most stupid, won't admit it...out loud.


Oh Yeah did I mention that I also bought some flowers and chocolates and a gift certificate from Bath and Body Works.


Yes, I know its bribery, but it's better than the cold shoulder and the "Mad 'X' of no entry" (just in case some of you have no clue what that is, it means I get denied access to the holiest of holies).


So now its time for me to finish this and grovel (and if my groveling skills are up to par I might get some afterwards).

J2

WHY IS IT, WHEN YOU LOSE SOMETHING, YOU LOOK LIKE HELL FOR IT?

You ever notice the only time you lose something and find the need to look for it, are the times right before you have to leave for somewhere and you need it for something?


But of course for the last 2 weeks it has meant nothing, not a care as to where or what it is. But now you're running late and the need to know where said object is and because it is imperative that it leave your home with you. Than and only than does it becomes a mad obsession.


You have to find it. Right now at this moment, because later will not suffice. At this juncture there is no later.


The only thing worse than the frenzied and panicked scramble, is when you call out the search party (you know, whoever finds it necessary to help out) that it becomes a life or death predicament.


Than when you have looked everywhere and have exhausted all you top secret resources (like looking in between the couch cushions or digging through the trash) that you try to call off the dogs from this code blue DEF-CON 5 engagement, that now it becomes a dire situation.


Now the rescue party doesn't listen (believing they know what's most prudent at this juncture), they continue looking for said object with idée fixe that makes King Kong's fixation on blonds seem like a passing fancy.


At this time I have accepted that the long lost object is MIA-presumed dead. I'm playing TAPS on the now long gone dealie-bob (can you believe I actually got that word from dictionary.com.....crazy).


During this moment the search party are still collecting data and going over the files and statistics repeatedly making sure that no stone went unturned (ergo looking in the same spots over and over again, yet coming up with the same results repeatedly). Yet here I am going (and yes I am making the stupid quote marks with my fingers) "its gone fergetaboutit!"


Now 10 minutes has gone by and I have mourned the missing object and I have found the strength to go on.


I am informed that the rescue parties have finally come to the same conclusion that I came to (even though I came to it 10 minutes earlier), it's gone the way of the planes over the Bermuda Triangle, gone, poof and mysteriously disappeared.


Why do I bring this up? Because I seem to find a little bit of happiness in the fact that since I could not rescue said object from the jaws of mystery that neither could anyone else.


I gave up on said object earlier, than to watch my cohorts frantically search the same places as if they were virginal and untouched (even though I know that not less than 30 seconds ago they had checked the same place). Needless to say it brought up a wonderful conclusion and anecdote, which I choose to share.


Look for something only as long as you have to.


There are things, no matter what you do, that happen. Not for the good or the bad, but they JUST happen.


Life with all of its ups, and downs, does not mean keep looking back and searching in the places you have already looked. It's about looking around as we travel forward, facing the future and exploring the unknown.

So today............... I Like It Here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR BOYS AND GIRLS, MEN AND WOMEN, YOUNG AND OLD, HAPPY NEW YEAR AND FACE THE FUTURE

WELL COULD YOU AT LEAST LEAVE A "HEY YOU'RE BEING STUPID!!"

LOL...just my way of saying leave a message when you visit. Tonight's a short entry day. Just wanted to say that little blurb is all. Since I don't work tomorrow, I'll go on my usual rant about something or other... but for now I'm...

J2 thas me

OMG...ITS SNOW!

My friends and countryman, its winter time in the Midwest. It happens every year. It's almost a seasonal occurrence, and people are already complaining. This is an annoyance. Seriously. But not the most irritating one.

What’s worse, you ask? People in the Midwest who say "well it’s the first snowfall” and this excuses you for driving like an idiot!

NO! ABSOLUTELY NOT! That is not acceptable. It won't be acceptable later today, tomorrow, next week, next month or next year.

That excuse only works if you moved here from Florida or any place that has summer all year round.

But if you have lived in the Midwest all your life......PLEASE SHUT UP AND SIT THE FUCK DOWN!

Why are these people on my naughty list? Why do these people deserve a special hell that involves small openings, broken glass a,d lots of water?

"Well" said the writer with an evil gleam in his eye, “The reason these people piss me off is because it’s not their first snow fall!”

You’ve seen snow fall a million times, and you driven walked and ran in said snow falls. So it shouldn't be a surprise if it’s slippery...unless you're an idiot!

I mean come on already. I could sit here and tear you all a new one but I won’t have too, you all know who you are so STOP IT ALLREADY!

Now don't get me wrong, I think most drivers are idiots when you add one of these elements

* booze (duh),
* any in climate weather (rain sleet snow etc.)
* the statement "I just got my license"
* the freeway (oh come on we're all geniuses till you put any of us on the freeway because we either turn into Dale Earnhart or were driving Miss Daisy).


But to sit and complain that the 6 car pile up was because of the first snow, in a state that is known for it's winter vacation spots that include snow and snow related activities, is just plain idiotic.

MY FAMILY and PEOPLE WHO ANNOY ME

Oh good, I'm still here. Hard to believe that another Turkey Day with relatives you don't like, kids who won't eat, and nothing on TV but football and parades, has passed on by, and I survived. I have to add this. At a family get together, function or reunion, you usually put on the fake smile and wish one and all a happy whatever it is, because you choose to. You hug the aunt with the halitosis that would make Satan weep because you choose to. You agree with everything you're overbearing cousins have to say even when they say the moon is made of blue cheese because you choose too. You put up with your siblings significant others retarded jokes and useless advice because you choose too. You do all this because you choose too. If you didn't, than you wouldn't have gone.

It’s the unwritten rule of family functions. You came because you wanted to, not because you had to. That is unless you're dragging your kids along only because it was the same hell your parents put you through, and it is your job as a parent to do the same to them.

Now you may think 'so what, we all go through that, what makes you so special?' Well let me tell you.....nothing, nothing at all.

If I wasn't annoyed at a family function, than I would have been annoyed with strangers, like standing behind the one person in the world who still has no clue how to use an ATM.

See, its not that I hate everyone, you just all annoy me. I'm ok with that because I probably annoy you too. Let's some time on the people that annoy me. Sadly, this is an ever growing list and won't ever be complete. Everyday there's another dumb mother fucker born, which means there's another chance some fucktard will annoy me. But alas I am digressing.

Being in the express lane (you know, the 10 items or less lane) with the one person who can count to 30 but somehow misses the number 10 in the process?

Those "truth" commercials, because obviously all smokers have no clue that smoking causes cancer. Let me shed a little light on this. It's not that we don't believe smoking causes cancer, we do! It’s just that we don't believe it'll happen to us. That’s the real truth. We aren't dumb or stupid. We just live in denial. So when I'm outside smoking, because I'm not allowed to smoke inside and someone gives me that dirty look for smoking outside...well all I'll can tell you is this, I didn't go out of my way to talk to you because apparently I don't and didn't find you that interesting...SO LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!

People who constantly chew, with their mouths open are on that list. Come on already! Manners costs nothing, but keep that up and it'll cost you my boot in your ass.

People who still ask "does this make me look fat?" If you're asking it probably does. But in direct conflict to my own statement, if you feel good wearing it, and you like the way you look, who cares what someone like me says.

As a matter of fact that goes out to anyone and everyone. If you are reading this, take what I say as an editorial on the things I see. Some days things may be the most annoying thing ever and on other days I won't have an issue. I'm just going on a day to day viewpoint.

So do it if you want or don't. I mean someone out there just got fed up with me as I got tired of someone else. That’s life, deal with it.

I do. I just happen to dwell on it long enough to think if I should write about it. Is this going to be a funny anecdote or a serious prose. Will this be a rant or a rave? Should I even be thinking this much about it? That's how I deal with it.

HELLO...JUST BORED

Yes, I am bored. It happens now and then. You can have the most adventurous life filled with mystery and intrigue, and every once in a while, you'll have a “bored” moment. So that's what I'm having right now.

I'm also having a “blank and empty mind” moment. Which basically translates to, when I have a deep thought or real need to write I'm usually too busy or too far from a computer. But when I set aside some time and have some privacy, that's when I'm hit with my “blank and empty mind” moment.

So since I really don't have anything to say other than that, I guess I'll go on to the next page. Who knew that you could actually waste some time and get out a couple of paragraphs talking about being bored and and blank.

I might actually have to rethink this writing thing I'm doing. I mean if I can pull this off I might have a career in advertising or politics. Isn't that the two career choices if you are a professional waste of time and space?

Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quote of the Week: Spike can't bite Willow

Spike: I don't understand. This sort of thing has never happened to me before.
Willow: Maybe you were nervous.
Spike: I felt all right when it started. Well let's try it again.
[Spike tries to bite Willow and he backs off screaming in pain.] Spike: Damn it! What's wrong with me?
Willow: Maybe you're trying too hard. Doesn't this happen to every vampire?
Spike: Not to me it doesn't!
Willow: It's me isn't it?
Spike: What are you talking about?
Willow: Well you came here looking for Buffy, and settled. You didn't want to bite me, I just happened to be around.
Spike: Piffle!
Willow: I know I'm not the kind of girl vamps like to sink their teeth into. It's all ways, "ooo, you're like a sister to me," or "oh, we're such good friends."
Spike: Don't be ridiculous. I'd bite you in a heartbeat.
Willow: This doesn't make you anymore scary.
Spike: Don't patronize me. I'm only 126 years old!
Willow: You’re being too hard on yourself. Why we don't wait a half an hour and try again?

Lame quote time:
why is it that when you're wrong no one forgets but when you're right, no ones around?