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1. EVER BEEN GIVEN AN ENGAGEMENT RING?
No but I gave one.
2. LONGEST RELATIONSHIP?
7 years
3. LAST GIFT YOU RECEIVED?
Maximum Ride: School's Out Forever...it's a book.
4. WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU WORKED OUT?
does work count?
5. LAST THING YOU SPENT ALOT OF MONEY ON?
Car Payment
6. LAST FOOD YOU ATE?
Dark Chocolate Klondike Bar
7. FIRST THING LOOK AT FIRST ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX?
How they comapare to my wife
8. ONE FAVORITE SONG?
If You're Going Through Hell
9. WHERE DO YOU LIVE?
at home
10. HIGH SCHOOL YOU ATTENDED?
the one that's 7 blocks from where I live
12. FAVORITE MALL STORE?
Spencer's Gifts
13. LONGEST JOB YOU HAD?
7 years
14. DO YOU OWN A PAIR OF DICE?
yes
15. DO YOU PRANK CALL PEOPLE?
Nope
16. LAST WEDDING ATTENDED?
mine
17. FIRST PERSON YOU'D CALL IF YOU WON THE LOTTERY?
my wife
18. LAST TIME YOU ATTENDED CHURCH?
for a friend of my wife's wedding
19. FAVORITE FAST FOOD RESTAURANT?
Arby's
20. WHERE'S YOUR FAVORITE PLACE TO EAT?
The Bedroom
21. CAN YOU COOK?
Yes
22. WHAT CAR DO YOU DRIVE?
1999 Isuzu Rodeo
23. LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
Yesterday morning
24. MOST DISLIKED FOOD?
FISH
25. THING YOU LIKE MOST ABOUT YOURSELF?
adaptability
26. THING YOU DISLIKE MOST ABOUT YOURSELF?
I'm overweight
27. LONGEST SHIFT YOU HAVE WORKED AT A JOB?
34.5 hours
28. FAVORITE MOVIE?
ever...or right now??...well ever...Star Wars...yes ALL OF THEM!! and Right now...well that would be NeverLand
29. CAN YOU SING?
In the Shower
30. LAST CONCERT ATTENDED?
a true concert...Tommy Lee
31. THING YOU NEVER LEAVE HOME WITHOUT?
Pants/shorts
32. FAVORITE VACATION SPOT?
In the arms of my wife
33. DO YOU LIKE CHINESE FOOD?
yes
34. IS YOUR ROOM CLEAN?
Never
35. LAPTOP OR DESKTOP COMPUTER?
Desktop
36. FAVORITE COMEDIAN?
right now...Carlos Mencia
37. SLEEP WITH OR WITHOUT CLOTHES?
in the pj's that god gave me
38. LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS WORK?
depends on the people
39. HAVE YOU BEEN PULLED OVER?
yes
40. PANCAKES OR FRENCH TOAST?
French Toast
41. DO YOU LIKE COFFEE?
when in the mood
42. HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS?
Cooked
43. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ASTROLOGY?
nope, but it is fun to read.
44. MCDONALDS OR BURGER KING? BK
45. NUMBER OF PILLOWS?
none...sometimes 2
46. WHAT ARE YOU HEARING NOW?
an infomercial
47. PICK ANY LYRIC OR SONG?
If You're Going Through Hell
If you're going through hell
Keep on moving, Face that fire
Walk right through it
You might get out
Before the devil even knows you're there
If you're going through hell
Keep on going, Don't slow down
If you're scared, don't show it
You might get out
Before the devil even knows you're there
48. WHAT KIND OF JELLY DO YOU LIKE ON YOUR PB & j?
strawberry
49. CAN YOU PLAY POOL?
sometimes but never well
50. DO YOU KNOW HOW TO SWIM?
Yes but just enough to not drown
51. FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
Blue Bunny Banana Split
52. DO YOU LIKE MAPS?
Yes until it comes time to re-fold them
53. TELL ME A RANDOM FACT ABOUT YOURSELF?
Right now...I'm almost out of cigarettes
54. EVER ATTEND A THEME PARTY?
yes
55. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON?
summer
56. LAST TIME YOU LAUGHED AT SOMETHING STUPID?
5 hours ago
57. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP THIS MORNING?
I didn't
58. BEST THING ABOUT WINTER?
Snuggling
59. LAST TIME A COP GAVE YOU A TICKET?
Feb 2005
60. NAME OF YOUR FIRST PET?
Christmas
61. DO YOU LIKE GETTING FLOWERS?
Yes
62. WHAT ARE YOU DOING THIS WEEKEND?
Making love to my wife...and some cleaning
63. WHAT IS THE THIRD LETTER OF YOUR FIRST NAME?
s
64. HOW OLD ARE YOUR PET(S)?
I dunno
65. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR BACKPACK?
grey, grey w/ Dale Sr pic., burgandy, tan, and blue...yes I have 5
66. ARE YOU SICK?
mentally or physically?
67. ARE YOU ON A LAPTOP?
No
68. ARE YOU SMILING?
yes
69. DO YOU HAVE ON EYELINER?
Not since the 80's
70. DO YOU MISS SOMEONE RIGHT NOW?
Yes
71. IF YOU COULD GO ANYWHERE WHERE WOULD YOU GO?
to sleep
72. ARE YOU IN LOVE? AND IF YES WITH WHOM?
Yes, my wife
73. ARE YOU IN HIGH SCHOOL?
nope
74. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NAME?
Inara
75. DOES YOUR SCHOOL START IN AUGUST?
If I had a school, it would start in January, last 3 hours a day and everyone would be naked
76. DID YOU GO ON VACATION LAST MONTH?
No
77. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A CRUISE?
No
78. DO YOU HAVE A SISTER?
Yes
79. ARE YOU UPSTAIRS?
Yes
And the song is over...please put another quarter in the jukebox, than we can dance again.
May 24, 2006
WHEN DID THIS BECOME AN ISSUE
Ok, I know I'm never on the cutting edge of news and news topics...but since when has breast feeding been an issue??
I mean in a time when presidents can have affairs, perjure, sell secrets and start wars.
Where the vice presidents, can make bold faced lies and shoot their friends in the face.
In a time when religious leaders are committing the very sins that they preach against.
In a time when oil companies are doubling and tripling their profits, while maintaining that there is an oil shortage.
In a time when wardrobe malfunctions are common place.
Breastfeeding in public is an issue? When child abuse and neglect are at an all time high, you want to give a breastfeeding mother a hard time?
You do know that that is the main function of the breast right?
You do realize that it does serve a function and those people who think that that should be done behind closed doors are idiots.
I'm sorry, but I guess there are more important things in life that deserve to be squabbled over.
How closed minded have we become that feeding and nurturing a child because you might see a boob, or more specifically a nipple, is a reason to scoff the women who do it?
I guess I would rather spend my time arguing about the incompetence of our political leaders and the hypocrisies of our religious leaders than to argue about a breast, especially if it's being used for the reason that nature intended.
You know for living in one of the greatest nations in the world...we really have become the same controlling authority we originally left to start a "free world". With that said...this song is done.
I mean in a time when presidents can have affairs, perjure, sell secrets and start wars.
Where the vice presidents, can make bold faced lies and shoot their friends in the face.
In a time when religious leaders are committing the very sins that they preach against.
In a time when oil companies are doubling and tripling their profits, while maintaining that there is an oil shortage.
In a time when wardrobe malfunctions are common place.
Breastfeeding in public is an issue? When child abuse and neglect are at an all time high, you want to give a breastfeeding mother a hard time?
You do know that that is the main function of the breast right?
You do realize that it does serve a function and those people who think that that should be done behind closed doors are idiots.
I'm sorry, but I guess there are more important things in life that deserve to be squabbled over.
How closed minded have we become that feeding and nurturing a child because you might see a boob, or more specifically a nipple, is a reason to scoff the women who do it?
I guess I would rather spend my time arguing about the incompetence of our political leaders and the hypocrisies of our religious leaders than to argue about a breast, especially if it's being used for the reason that nature intended.
You know for living in one of the greatest nations in the world...we really have become the same controlling authority we originally left to start a "free world". With that said...this song is done.
May 14, 2006
A MOTHER'S DAY COME AND GONE
I love my mom, I really do. I just don't like her very much. So I did the obligatory visit, and I hated it. I hated spending time with her and pretending that I was enjoying every minute. If it wasn't for my wife, I would have never gone. I would have bought a card, dropped it off, and come home and quickly drank till I passed out. But with my wife by my side, I'm able to face the ghosts of my past and endure the emotions that were boiling under the surface. So that's that. This time I was wallflowering it. Until the next song...
Jan 9, 2006
THE LOST AMONG THE FOUND
Just an old thing that I wrote...about a year and a half ago...and thought I would share...
A cacophony of inane conversations over a one hit wonder that's emanating from everywhere,
Stale smoke, a cold beer, a shot of Jack Daniels and a half a pack of cigarettes,
A broken observer watching, listening
Completely removed from it all.
Bikers and suits, freaks and geeks, and the strong and the meek, and they are communicating, congregating, existing and living.
Some are commenting on my penmanship, and the fact that the writing is small.
I tell them it's just the way I write but the truth is so they can't read it.
Watching girls bend over as they play pool, exposing assets and other things.
Bartender works hard and is tired but smiling.
Strangers sitting next to me, talking about a bad gambling experience.
Lynard Skynard starts to play and the sing along begins.
I'm still separate from it all.
A guy is sitting to my right drinking a Bacardi and Coke, and I could care less.
So than what's wrong with me?
That I would rather sit here, write, watch and observe.
Am I simply dead inside?
So I sit here wondering and pondering if I'm guessing or second guessing myself.
A cacophony of inane conversations over a one hit wonder that's emanating from everywhere,
Stale smoke, a cold beer, a shot of Jack Daniels and a half a pack of cigarettes,
A broken observer watching, listening
Completely removed from it all.
Bikers and suits, freaks and geeks, and the strong and the meek, and they are communicating, congregating, existing and living.
Some are commenting on my penmanship, and the fact that the writing is small.
I tell them it's just the way I write but the truth is so they can't read it.
Watching girls bend over as they play pool, exposing assets and other things.
Bartender works hard and is tired but smiling.
Strangers sitting next to me, talking about a bad gambling experience.
Lynard Skynard starts to play and the sing along begins.
I'm still separate from it all.
A guy is sitting to my right drinking a Bacardi and Coke, and I could care less.
So than what's wrong with me?
That I would rather sit here, write, watch and observe.
Am I simply dead inside?
So I sit here wondering and pondering if I'm guessing or second guessing myself.
Dec 31, 2005
A HOLIDAY WISH
The old year is ending,
the passing of good times,
bad times,
loves lost,
loves found,
friendships made,
friendships forgotten,
friendships that will remain constant,
friendships missed,
an old year is ending.
A new year is beginning,
with new hopes and aspirations,
with unknowns and uncertainties,
with prospects of the heart, mind and soul,
with the idea of tomorrow,
a new year is beginning...
yet I will always remain
the passing of good times,
bad times,
loves lost,
loves found,
friendships made,
friendships forgotten,
friendships that will remain constant,
friendships missed,
an old year is ending.
A new year is beginning,
with new hopes and aspirations,
with unknowns and uncertainties,
with prospects of the heart, mind and soul,
with the idea of tomorrow,
a new year is beginning...
yet I will always remain
Dec 22, 2005
BELIEVE
To one and all,
great and small,
to those with
snow covered hands,
or 100 degree sands,
to snow days,
and heat waves,
to the Christians,
or the Jews,
the Arabs,
and the Hindu's.
to those that believe,
in a savior born,
or jolly elves,
to those that light,
Christmas candles,
or menorahs,
to all my neighbors,
in this world,
to you all I wish you,
a season of joy,
a season of hope,
a season of love,
but mostly ,
I wish you to know,
that a stranger today,
sends a prayer your way,
to believe in peace,
to believe in love,
but mostly just to believe.
great and small,
to those with
snow covered hands,
or 100 degree sands,
to snow days,
and heat waves,
to the Christians,
or the Jews,
the Arabs,
and the Hindu's.
to those that believe,
in a savior born,
or jolly elves,
to those that light,
Christmas candles,
or menorahs,
to all my neighbors,
in this world,
to you all I wish you,
a season of joy,
a season of hope,
a season of love,
but mostly ,
I wish you to know,
that a stranger today,
sends a prayer your way,
to believe in peace,
to believe in love,
but mostly just to believe.
Dec 20, 2005
MOSTLY FILLER
I walk and talk, laugh and cry,
I'm mobile and converse,
I live and I'll die,
I exist, to make you all happy...but you.
I can't make you happy, I just do, just like you make me happy.
I look and see, lie and deny
I breathe so that life, still resides,But I'm not alive.
I'm barely human.
I'm a pariah of my own making.
I carry a Jezebel goblet, and a liars face,
unless you are near me.
Than I wear the face of the friend.
It's a lie.
I am your friend.
But I want more.
I need more.
A friend is not enough.
I want you.
I dream about you.
I call your name.
I scream for your heart.
I long for you.
I miss you when you are near me.
I'm dying when you aren't.
I confessed my desire.
You shared with me that same desire.
I walk and talk, laugh and cry,
When you are not here,
I'm mostly filler....
I'm mobile and converse,
I live and I'll die,
I exist, to make you all happy...but you.
I can't make you happy, I just do, just like you make me happy.
I look and see, lie and deny
I breathe so that life, still resides,But I'm not alive.
I'm barely human.
I'm a pariah of my own making.
I carry a Jezebel goblet, and a liars face,
unless you are near me.
Than I wear the face of the friend.
It's a lie.
I am your friend.
But I want more.
I need more.
A friend is not enough.
I want you.
I dream about you.
I call your name.
I scream for your heart.
I long for you.
I miss you when you are near me.
I'm dying when you aren't.
I confessed my desire.
You shared with me that same desire.
I walk and talk, laugh and cry,
When you are not here,
I'm mostly filler....
Aug 4, 2005
WHY
why do you love me when no one else did?
why do you listen to every word that's said?
why do you want me in your mad existence?
why do you need me to stand with you?
why do you hold me when I cry at night?
why do you laugh at the stupid things I say?
why do you cry when it's me that hurts?
why do you trust me when it could so easily be a lie?
why do you sleep with me when I steal the covers?
why do you look at me the way you do?
why do you question all the silly things?
why do you accept the tragic things?
why did you dance with me?
why did you keep your secrets?
why do you want to marry me?
why do you want my children?
why do you want me?
why did you choose me?
why?
why do you listen to every word that's said?
why do you want me in your mad existence?
why do you need me to stand with you?
why do you hold me when I cry at night?
why do you laugh at the stupid things I say?
why do you cry when it's me that hurts?
why do you trust me when it could so easily be a lie?
why do you sleep with me when I steal the covers?
why do you look at me the way you do?
why do you question all the silly things?
why do you accept the tragic things?
why did you dance with me?
why did you keep your secrets?
why do you want to marry me?
why do you want my children?
why do you want me?
why did you choose me?
why?
TO CHOOSE
to stand or fall...I choose to walk
to laugh or cry I...I choose to talk
to sleep or wake...I choose to be
not for you
but for me
to love or hate ...I choose to listen
to sing or dance...I choose to run
to shine or fade...I choose to smoke
not for you
but for me
to laugh or cry I...I choose to talk
to sleep or wake...I choose to be
not for you
but for me
to love or hate ...I choose to listen
to sing or dance...I choose to run
to shine or fade...I choose to smoke
not for you
but for me
Jun 29, 2005
THE DOOR TO TOMORROW
If life handed you an apple pie and it tasted like apples, that's a good thing, right?
And If life hands you a lemon, you're supposed to make lemonade, correct?
So than, what do you do when life keeps handing you happiness?
I'm not a very nice person (I have ex's who can attest to that).
If someone pisses me off i.e. a person who I thought was a friend and turns out that they did not trust me enough to come with me about something, I'm still nice and pleasant to them.
If a somebody says things about me (race, religion. etc. etc.) that has nothing to do with my personality or generalizes me as nothing but a race, religion etc., I still treat then the same way.
You see before Season I would have torn into them and let loose the hounds of hell so that they knew without any doubt how I felt. That what was done to me did bother me, but now I don't.
You see I feel sorry for them. Not in the "I pity you fool" sort of way, but in the "man, you'll never get me, and that just sucks" kind of way.
I feel bad for us, because when they do this, all it ends up doing is creating a gap between us. The feelings of friendship are now a chasm that separates us.
I will never talk to them the same way I used too. I will not trust them. They are kept at arms length (and I keep hoping my arms get longer).
Now? Well now, the people who do hurt me will never know what their unkind words did.
Instead they get my bogus smile and laugh and a false friend who is keeping his enemies close.
But some how and for some reason, I have the affection and love from the woman who has married me. She looks at me like I really matter and still listens to me, as if my words could move mountains.
She has blessed my life with conversation, with silly topics and the serious discussions. I am fortunate to have a partner, a friend and a wife who wants to share her life with me.
The strength we share, has allowed me to face many of my demons, no matter how ugly they were. She stood by me and still looks at me with love filled eyes.
I thought this was just stories and lies, but here I stand. A believer that true love exists. And that it can keep growing day by day.
So I'm looking at the apple pie and lemonade in front of me. And I'm thinking to myself...do I really deserve this? I honestly don't think so, but Season, she makes me feel like I do. So I take a slice of that apple pie and a swig from the lemonade and revel in the fact that it really is OK to be happy. That it is really OK to find bliss in the person next to you.
That happiness is not a mat that sits on your doorway, but the key that opens the door to a future you never looked towards.
So with that I remain simply...
a happy fool
And If life hands you a lemon, you're supposed to make lemonade, correct?
So than, what do you do when life keeps handing you happiness?
I'm not a very nice person (I have ex's who can attest to that).
If someone pisses me off i.e. a person who I thought was a friend and turns out that they did not trust me enough to come with me about something, I'm still nice and pleasant to them.
If a somebody says things about me (race, religion. etc. etc.) that has nothing to do with my personality or generalizes me as nothing but a race, religion etc., I still treat then the same way.
You see before Season I would have torn into them and let loose the hounds of hell so that they knew without any doubt how I felt. That what was done to me did bother me, but now I don't.
You see I feel sorry for them. Not in the "I pity you fool" sort of way, but in the "man, you'll never get me, and that just sucks" kind of way.
I feel bad for us, because when they do this, all it ends up doing is creating a gap between us. The feelings of friendship are now a chasm that separates us.
I will never talk to them the same way I used too. I will not trust them. They are kept at arms length (and I keep hoping my arms get longer).
Now? Well now, the people who do hurt me will never know what their unkind words did.
Instead they get my bogus smile and laugh and a false friend who is keeping his enemies close.
But some how and for some reason, I have the affection and love from the woman who has married me. She looks at me like I really matter and still listens to me, as if my words could move mountains.
She has blessed my life with conversation, with silly topics and the serious discussions. I am fortunate to have a partner, a friend and a wife who wants to share her life with me.
The strength we share, has allowed me to face many of my demons, no matter how ugly they were. She stood by me and still looks at me with love filled eyes.
I thought this was just stories and lies, but here I stand. A believer that true love exists. And that it can keep growing day by day.
So I'm looking at the apple pie and lemonade in front of me. And I'm thinking to myself...do I really deserve this? I honestly don't think so, but Season, she makes me feel like I do. So I take a slice of that apple pie and a swig from the lemonade and revel in the fact that it really is OK to be happy. That it is really OK to find bliss in the person next to you.
That happiness is not a mat that sits on your doorway, but the key that opens the door to a future you never looked towards.
So with that I remain simply...
a happy fool
Jun 17, 2005
I DON'T KNOW
I don't know what I'm doing right now,
I'm not following my usual "M.O."
It's something of an idea
to just say what comes in my head
and see where it takes me.
I usually have at least a pattern I follow,
but for once I'm saying "fuck it"
and it seems I get kinda lost doing things this way.
I'm really never sure how to do many things,
I try to take the pass least taken,
but doing that all the time,
it becomes a pattern that I'm trying to break.
I still don't know what I'm doing.
But I'm doing it anyway.
I'm not following my usual "M.O."
It's something of an idea
to just say what comes in my head
and see where it takes me.
I usually have at least a pattern I follow,
but for once I'm saying "fuck it"
and it seems I get kinda lost doing things this way.
I'm really never sure how to do many things,
I try to take the pass least taken,
but doing that all the time,
it becomes a pattern that I'm trying to break.
I still don't know what I'm doing.
But I'm doing it anyway.
Jun 16, 2005
CAN'T
I have been losing control
since I met you
I want to bare my feelings
before your gone
My heart is starting to break
I stand alone
I can't do this by myself
I don't have the strength
I can't lose you
I can't refuse you
I can't do this by myself
Digital talks, late night drinks
take out for two
We danced again, the first time
we walked away
My heart is starting to break
I cried alone
I can't do this by myself
I don't have the strength
I can't lose you
I can't refuse you
I can't do this by myself
A gathering of masses
I think alone
Confessions and retractions
than I chose you
My heart is starting to mend
I'm not alone
I can't do this by myself
I don't have the strength
I can't lose you
I can't refuse you
I can't do this by myself
The first kiss was tentative,
next one lingered
Our lips met, unrestrained love
two became one
My heart is starting to mend
finally home
I can't do this by myself
I don't have the strength
I can't lose you
I can't refuse you
I can't do this by myself
since I met you
I want to bare my feelings
before your gone
My heart is starting to break
I stand alone
I can't do this by myself
I don't have the strength
I can't lose you
I can't refuse you
I can't do this by myself
Digital talks, late night drinks
take out for two
We danced again, the first time
we walked away
My heart is starting to break
I cried alone
I can't do this by myself
I don't have the strength
I can't lose you
I can't refuse you
I can't do this by myself
A gathering of masses
I think alone
Confessions and retractions
than I chose you
My heart is starting to mend
I'm not alone
I can't do this by myself
I don't have the strength
I can't lose you
I can't refuse you
I can't do this by myself
The first kiss was tentative,
next one lingered
Our lips met, unrestrained love
two became one
My heart is starting to mend
finally home
I can't do this by myself
I don't have the strength
I can't lose you
I can't refuse you
I can't do this by myself
Jun 14, 2005
I AM
I never know what to say when I have the words speak
I don't ever know what to look for in a painting
I have no clue what to hear in a song.
I can't dance,
I have no rhythm.
I do not dream because
I do not sleep.
Faith is lost to me because
I don't know what to believe in.
I don't know how to pray,
I never learned.
I cry because there is a sadness
I can't hold in.
I laugh because
I get the joke.
I'm alone because no one else gets it.
I suffocate because
I can't breathe.
I fly because
I finally spread my wings.
I stand because
I refuse to lay down.
I fall and stumble because
I am human.
I live because
I simply do...
I don't ever know what to look for in a painting
I have no clue what to hear in a song.
I can't dance,
I have no rhythm.
I do not dream because
I do not sleep.
Faith is lost to me because
I don't know what to believe in.
I don't know how to pray,
I never learned.
I cry because there is a sadness
I can't hold in.
I laugh because
I get the joke.
I'm alone because no one else gets it.
I suffocate because
I can't breathe.
I fly because
I finally spread my wings.
I stand because
I refuse to lay down.
I fall and stumble because
I am human.
I live because
I simply do...
May 29, 2005
A GREATER LOVE
I have never known a greater love
than a baby's smile
or a kittens purr.
I have never seen a brighter light
than a mother's love
or an early morning dawn.
I have never felt a hotter fire
in my lovers eyes
and in her beating heart.
I have never felt a greater love
than being held in her arms
when she comes home from work,
or when I lay myself down for slumber.
I have never known a greater love
until I met you.
I never knew love before,
now I do.
I know my greater love,
It's you.
than a baby's smile
or a kittens purr.
I have never seen a brighter light
than a mother's love
or an early morning dawn.
I have never felt a hotter fire
in my lovers eyes
and in her beating heart.
I have never felt a greater love
than being held in her arms
when she comes home from work,
or when I lay myself down for slumber.
I have never known a greater love
until I met you.
I never knew love before,
now I do.
I know my greater love,
It's you.
May 25, 2005
A USELESS RHYME
the sun rose today, to meet me at noon
the birds flew away, they said I came back to soon
the dog licked his lips and than much lower
we both ran to avoid the javelin thrower
what a silly day this has been
the dreams are starting to begin
a moment of nonsense I share with you
of soap, conditioner and shampoo
a momentary lapse of judgment
and sharing of letters just sent
no rhyme or reason, I don't need one
just a Coke and a cinnamon bun
now that we wasted time
with this useless rhyme
this happy guy
will just say bye...
...for now.
the birds flew away, they said I came back to soon
the dog licked his lips and than much lower
we both ran to avoid the javelin thrower
what a silly day this has been
the dreams are starting to begin
a moment of nonsense I share with you
of soap, conditioner and shampoo
a momentary lapse of judgment
and sharing of letters just sent
no rhyme or reason, I don't need one
just a Coke and a cinnamon bun
now that we wasted time
with this useless rhyme
this happy guy
will just say bye...
...for now.
May 21, 2005
A MOMENT OF DOUBT
There are times when somethings hit me like a runaway freight train. It's like something in me feels something for the first time.
Today I felt a true anguish that shook me down to my core. I felt a sense of loss.
A true loss, not the "Oh crap where are my car keys' feeling, but the "Oh shit, something in me just died" kind of loss. This time it was very different.
It was the "am I really allowed to be this happy" kind of feeling.
I am with a partner who loves me what I feel for her can only be described as bliss. But at the same time I ask myself "Can I make her truly happy?"
I don't know. I don't have all the answers. I can't even pretend to have them. All I know is that I feel so complete when I am with her.
There used to be this HUGE pool of anger that bubbled and boiled deep inside of me.
Now I only find hope, love and a wonderful feeling called tomorrow. I pray that I can give her this everyday. Because inside of my strange little soul I find it whenever I hear her heart beat or whenever she smiles at me. I find myself happier than ever before in my pitiful existence.
For some reason today after watching the fall of fictional character, I find myself wondering. Do I make her happy? Do I make her feel complete? Do I do to her what she does for me? Can I save her?
I don't know, maybe I'm just being stupid, it's something I do a lot. I still wonder "am I what she has been searching for?"
I guess that's all I really wanted to say. She makes my world, my life and my soul complete. I just pray that I do the same thing for her.
Today I felt a true anguish that shook me down to my core. I felt a sense of loss.
A true loss, not the "Oh crap where are my car keys' feeling, but the "Oh shit, something in me just died" kind of loss. This time it was very different.
It was the "am I really allowed to be this happy" kind of feeling.
I am with a partner who loves me what I feel for her can only be described as bliss. But at the same time I ask myself "Can I make her truly happy?"
I don't know. I don't have all the answers. I can't even pretend to have them. All I know is that I feel so complete when I am with her.
There used to be this HUGE pool of anger that bubbled and boiled deep inside of me.
Now I only find hope, love and a wonderful feeling called tomorrow. I pray that I can give her this everyday. Because inside of my strange little soul I find it whenever I hear her heart beat or whenever she smiles at me. I find myself happier than ever before in my pitiful existence.
For some reason today after watching the fall of fictional character, I find myself wondering. Do I make her happy? Do I make her feel complete? Do I do to her what she does for me? Can I save her?
I don't know, maybe I'm just being stupid, it's something I do a lot. I still wonder "am I what she has been searching for?"
I guess that's all I really wanted to say. She makes my world, my life and my soul complete. I just pray that I do the same thing for her.
May 9, 2005
DEAR CLOSE MINDED PEOPLE
Dear Closed Minded People,
How are you doing today?
I'm feeling a bit of spit and vinegar towards you today.
I saw a shirt that truly pissed me off and well that led me to this little outburst. The shirt said "Straight Pride" on the front and "God made Adam and Eve, not Adam on Steve on the back. This shirt just made me realize how simple minded some of you are...no wait, I mean it made me realize what simple minded mother fuckers some of you are.
Gay, Bi or Lesbian, they are still people with real voices and ideas. They didn't ask you to join them in their lives, but you make sure you try to drag them down anyway.
What they do is not a matter or concern for you.
You are just a drop of piss in the toilet bowl of your own existence.
They like most of us don't care what your opinion is. They like most of don't want to hear your opinion.
So stop trying to force it down my throat. I can form my own opinions. I'm special like that. I like to make my own opinions. I usually use things like facts to help but I'm really weird like that.
I don't need you to bring a higher power into a debate over what is right or wrong. The Bible gave us two simple rules...Love God, and Love each other because in doing so, you love God. I've read the Bible, a few times. Never does it say, tear your fellow man down. Nor does it say beat them up in my name. Again, and just to reitterate, Love God, and Love each other because in doing so, you love God.
Here are a couple of rules that are evident in the bible...
Turn the other cheek...sound familiar?
Love thy brother as you would thy self...any bells ringing?
I mean we have all heard the saying ignorance is bliss right? But let's all be honest, it's only blissful when the ignorant leave.
So to all you close minded afterbirths, whose conception was just because the semen leaked after an anal encounter, I have this last statement.
Let it go.
The only true waste of the gene pool, is not the little gay couple having a dinner, but the waste that won't leave them alone.
Get over it.
You really aren't that special.
Sincerely,
Me
How are you doing today?
I'm feeling a bit of spit and vinegar towards you today.
I saw a shirt that truly pissed me off and well that led me to this little outburst. The shirt said "Straight Pride" on the front and "God made Adam and Eve, not Adam on Steve on the back. This shirt just made me realize how simple minded some of you are...no wait, I mean it made me realize what simple minded mother fuckers some of you are.
Gay, Bi or Lesbian, they are still people with real voices and ideas. They didn't ask you to join them in their lives, but you make sure you try to drag them down anyway.
What they do is not a matter or concern for you.
You are just a drop of piss in the toilet bowl of your own existence.
They like most of us don't care what your opinion is. They like most of don't want to hear your opinion.
So stop trying to force it down my throat. I can form my own opinions. I'm special like that. I like to make my own opinions. I usually use things like facts to help but I'm really weird like that.
I don't need you to bring a higher power into a debate over what is right or wrong. The Bible gave us two simple rules...Love God, and Love each other because in doing so, you love God. I've read the Bible, a few times. Never does it say, tear your fellow man down. Nor does it say beat them up in my name. Again, and just to reitterate, Love God, and Love each other because in doing so, you love God.
Here are a couple of rules that are evident in the bible...
Turn the other cheek...sound familiar?
Love thy brother as you would thy self...any bells ringing?
I mean we have all heard the saying ignorance is bliss right? But let's all be honest, it's only blissful when the ignorant leave.
So to all you close minded afterbirths, whose conception was just because the semen leaked after an anal encounter, I have this last statement.
Let it go.
The only true waste of the gene pool, is not the little gay couple having a dinner, but the waste that won't leave them alone.
Get over it.
You really aren't that special.
Sincerely,
Me
Sep 24, 2004
HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN
Have you forgotten the stolen moments that defines your heart?
The fleeting passage that rang true and straight?
The sliver that broke your heart and the needle that pierced your soul?
Have you forgotten the first tear you shed in heartache?
Have you forgotten the first kiss of youthful love?
Have you forgotten the puddles and the mud?
Have you forgotten you first dance to your first love song?
Have you forgotten how to laugh?
Have you forgotten how to cry?
Have you forgotten how to live?
Only to remember how to die.
Have you forgotten the sky so blue and bright?
Have you forgotten the grass so green and fresh?
Have you forgotten the lake so cold and clear?
Have you forgotten the snow sparkled and white?
Have you forgotten the sunburned noses?
Have you forgotten the cold and wet feet?
Have you forgotten how to scream?
Have you forgotten how to shout?
Have you forgotten how to weep?
Have you forgotten how sing and dance?
Have you forgotten the puppies wet nose?
Have you forgotten the kittens sandpaper tongue?
Have you forgotten how to be a child?
Have you forgotten to open your eyes?
Have you forgotten how to hear the ideas that come from innocence?
Have you forgotten how to live?
Only to remember how to die?
Have you forgotten.
The fleeting passage that rang true and straight?
The sliver that broke your heart and the needle that pierced your soul?
Have you forgotten the first tear you shed in heartache?
Have you forgotten the first kiss of youthful love?
Have you forgotten the puddles and the mud?
Have you forgotten you first dance to your first love song?
Have you forgotten how to laugh?
Have you forgotten how to cry?
Have you forgotten how to live?
Only to remember how to die.
Have you forgotten the sky so blue and bright?
Have you forgotten the grass so green and fresh?
Have you forgotten the lake so cold and clear?
Have you forgotten the snow sparkled and white?
Have you forgotten the sunburned noses?
Have you forgotten the cold and wet feet?
Have you forgotten how to scream?
Have you forgotten how to shout?
Have you forgotten how to weep?
Have you forgotten how sing and dance?
Have you forgotten the puppies wet nose?
Have you forgotten the kittens sandpaper tongue?
Have you forgotten how to be a child?
Have you forgotten to open your eyes?
Have you forgotten how to hear the ideas that come from innocence?
Have you forgotten how to live?
Only to remember how to die?
Have you forgotten.
Jun 29, 2004
LIKE LIFE
the smell of a hot summer day reminds me of playgrounds and tether ball
swings and slides
of exhilaration when you jump off the swing at its apex
and the tears of the scraped knees when you landed
the sounds of laughter remind me to live in today
look forward to tomorrow
and not dwell on yesterday
the full moon rising reminds me of romance when I'm with you,
and of werewolves when I'm not
the images of wrestling remind me of Sunday mornings with my grandfather and cousins,
and bruises from drop kicks gone awry before church
the sounds of the ice cream man
still make me call for my mom and ask her for a dollar
to get some cool delicious treats that normally ended up melting
because of the brain freeze slowed down the eating
by the time the brain thaw kicked in the “sugar high frozen for mass consumption”
had already melted
the sight and smell of roses shows me that all things beautiful have another side
and that usually you can reach them if you take the time to get to know them
and than realize that even the thorns can be beautiful
the sounds of keyboard keys remind me that I need to write more frequently
the sound of music makes me want to dance
than the sight of me dancing for some reason makes everyone else laugh
and that makes me dance harder and faster
because laughter is still the most beautiful music a man can make
the sounds of thunder make my heart race
my palms sweat
my desire grow
the smell of rain
the sound of rain
the images of rain
is a lot like life
fast and fleeting
longer than some and shorter than others
there are times its scary
and times its peaceful
there are times you're happy to see it
and times when you wish
"rain rain go away"
but mostly its like life.
swings and slides
of exhilaration when you jump off the swing at its apex
and the tears of the scraped knees when you landed
the sounds of laughter remind me to live in today
look forward to tomorrow
and not dwell on yesterday
the full moon rising reminds me of romance when I'm with you,
and of werewolves when I'm not
the images of wrestling remind me of Sunday mornings with my grandfather and cousins,
and bruises from drop kicks gone awry before church
the sounds of the ice cream man
still make me call for my mom and ask her for a dollar
to get some cool delicious treats that normally ended up melting
because of the brain freeze slowed down the eating
by the time the brain thaw kicked in the “sugar high frozen for mass consumption”
had already melted
the sight and smell of roses shows me that all things beautiful have another side
and that usually you can reach them if you take the time to get to know them
and than realize that even the thorns can be beautiful
the sounds of keyboard keys remind me that I need to write more frequently
the sound of music makes me want to dance
than the sight of me dancing for some reason makes everyone else laugh
and that makes me dance harder and faster
because laughter is still the most beautiful music a man can make
the sounds of thunder make my heart race
my palms sweat
my desire grow
the smell of rain
the sound of rain
the images of rain
is a lot like life
fast and fleeting
longer than some and shorter than others
there are times its scary
and times its peaceful
there are times you're happy to see it
and times when you wish
"rain rain go away"
but mostly its like life.
100 THINGS ABOUT ME
Good day to all who read this...this is the translation for all my recent entries. I guess I’m telling you because soon it’s going to be written in other languages in their characters so now you'll know what it means. Well anyways I’ve been meaning to do this for a while, I thought it would be a cool thing to do. It’s basically a list of 100 things about me that you didn't know. While there are a few of you who know some of these things its a way for the rest of you to get to know me...so here we go
1 I'm Mexican not Hispanic
2 I hate having short hair
3 my mom is one of my closest and best friends
4 my dad is not
5 I have many siblings but only call one my sister
6 my mom gave birth to her
7 I’m the older of 2 (by 12 years)
8 I love snow leopards
9 I’m at work right now
10 this is actually pretty hard to do
11 I’m also an uncle to a niece I’ve met once
12 I love Chinese food
13 I hate spicy food (no not the garlic kind, the melts your tongue kind)
14 I watch wrestling
15 I have since I was 5
16 I love to read
17 I love music
18 so far I've never been arrested
19 so far never had a ticket of any kind
20 I have a real respect for law enforcement they are just doing their jobs
21 I smoke
22 have smoked since I was 15
23 I started because I was bored at work
24 in my immediate family I’m the only smoker
25 smoked pot for the first time when I was 27
26 my virginity was lost at age 12
27 it is a regret
28 I am/was a father at 16. I didn't know
29 the child was aborted
30 Tina told me almost 2 years later
31 I still hate her
32 that’s the age I currently am
33 I plan on changing that every year
34 I think Johnny Depp is beautiful and talented as an actor
35 no I’m not gay
36 Just that comfortable with myself
37 I hate facial hair
38 I hate shaving more
39 I know it is possible to cut your self with an electric shaver
40 I hate liars
41 I'm good at listening
42 I'm good at talking
43 I'm bad at patience
44 I like cartoons
45 I don't like it when people don't give them a chance
46 I hate people who tell me I’m not using my full potential
47 I love movies
48 I love Amy lee's voice (ask if you don't know)
49 I’ve had 9 girlfriends
50 in high school, I missed 223 days
51 I had to repeat my senior year
52 I graduated and hang my diploma proudly (although its at my moms)
53 I like Jack Daniels
54 he usually hates me the next day
55 I’m not religious
56 but I am spiritual
57 I’m going to have a cigarette now
58 I’m back
59 silence bothers me
60 I don't like crowds
61 I have a fear of ladders and heights
62 I love to laugh
63 I also cry
64 I never cheated on my most current ex
65 she's the only I never cheated on
66 I have a pet chinchilla
67 I want a Great Pyrenees
68 I love 80's hair bands (remember when they were called glam bands?)
69 hehehehehehe
70 I write poetry
71 I think its just ok
72 I like backstreet boys and n*synch
73 I love my job
74 I want to name my son Kyle Jeffery
75 I’ll probably never have children
76 this thought is a sad one
77 I want to get married some day
78 this also will probably never happen
79 I want to name my daughter Ryoko Nicole
80 I have 2 tattoos
81 I want many more
82 I’m easy to talk to
83 I’m easy to get along with
84 I’m impossible to live with
85 I love my car
86 I have no attention span for video games
87 except for Tetris
88 I was born on June 2nd 1972
89 I love driving to new places
90 I hate the city I live in
91 I’m 5'10" and overweight
92 for the first time ever, I’m living on my own
93 that's changing in a couple of days
94 I don't know if I’m keen on that idea
95 my smile is my best feature
96 I’m content right now
97 I don't believe in sharing, if it's mine, it’s mine
98 I never want to see Mexico
99 I’m fiercely loyal to my friends
100 the only reason I do this is because my friend Beverly had a blog site and I thought it was kind of cool, so I started one too. Thank you Bev
and with that
I still and will always remain
Jose AKA J2
ps although now you all know a little more about me
1 I'm Mexican not Hispanic
2 I hate having short hair
3 my mom is one of my closest and best friends
4 my dad is not
5 I have many siblings but only call one my sister
6 my mom gave birth to her
7 I’m the older of 2 (by 12 years)
8 I love snow leopards
9 I’m at work right now
10 this is actually pretty hard to do
11 I’m also an uncle to a niece I’ve met once
12 I love Chinese food
13 I hate spicy food (no not the garlic kind, the melts your tongue kind)
14 I watch wrestling
15 I have since I was 5
16 I love to read
17 I love music
18 so far I've never been arrested
19 so far never had a ticket of any kind
20 I have a real respect for law enforcement they are just doing their jobs
21 I smoke
22 have smoked since I was 15
23 I started because I was bored at work
24 in my immediate family I’m the only smoker
25 smoked pot for the first time when I was 27
26 my virginity was lost at age 12
27 it is a regret
28 I am/was a father at 16. I didn't know
29 the child was aborted
30 Tina told me almost 2 years later
31 I still hate her
32 that’s the age I currently am
33 I plan on changing that every year
34 I think Johnny Depp is beautiful and talented as an actor
35 no I’m not gay
36 Just that comfortable with myself
37 I hate facial hair
38 I hate shaving more
39 I know it is possible to cut your self with an electric shaver
40 I hate liars
41 I'm good at listening
42 I'm good at talking
43 I'm bad at patience
44 I like cartoons
45 I don't like it when people don't give them a chance
46 I hate people who tell me I’m not using my full potential
47 I love movies
48 I love Amy lee's voice (ask if you don't know)
49 I’ve had 9 girlfriends
50 in high school, I missed 223 days
51 I had to repeat my senior year
52 I graduated and hang my diploma proudly (although its at my moms)
53 I like Jack Daniels
54 he usually hates me the next day
55 I’m not religious
56 but I am spiritual
57 I’m going to have a cigarette now
58 I’m back
59 silence bothers me
60 I don't like crowds
61 I have a fear of ladders and heights
62 I love to laugh
63 I also cry
64 I never cheated on my most current ex
65 she's the only I never cheated on
66 I have a pet chinchilla
67 I want a Great Pyrenees
68 I love 80's hair bands (remember when they were called glam bands?)
69 hehehehehehe
70 I write poetry
71 I think its just ok
72 I like backstreet boys and n*synch
73 I love my job
74 I want to name my son Kyle Jeffery
75 I’ll probably never have children
76 this thought is a sad one
77 I want to get married some day
78 this also will probably never happen
79 I want to name my daughter Ryoko Nicole
80 I have 2 tattoos
81 I want many more
82 I’m easy to talk to
83 I’m easy to get along with
84 I’m impossible to live with
85 I love my car
86 I have no attention span for video games
87 except for Tetris
88 I was born on June 2nd 1972
89 I love driving to new places
90 I hate the city I live in
91 I’m 5'10" and overweight
92 for the first time ever, I’m living on my own
93 that's changing in a couple of days
94 I don't know if I’m keen on that idea
95 my smile is my best feature
96 I’m content right now
97 I don't believe in sharing, if it's mine, it’s mine
98 I never want to see Mexico
99 I’m fiercely loyal to my friends
100 the only reason I do this is because my friend Beverly had a blog site and I thought it was kind of cool, so I started one too. Thank you Bev
and with that
I still and will always remain
Jose AKA J2
ps although now you all know a little more about me
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