Feb 5, 2010


You know what has always bugged me?  Movie reviews that take a "I'm so much smarter than you" route.  Every movie review I have ever read takes this approach.  They sit there and with a fine tooth comb and condemn every aspect of the movie or they praise the intellectual aspects of this cinematic experience.

Me, I just want a simple review.  Did the movie achieve it's goal.  How was the acting?  Was the script/story any good.  Was the movie entertaining.  Add a positive comment.  Add a negative comment.  Finally make a simple scale and rate that movie accordingly.

It's not asking for much.

Reading a movie review shouldn't have to be a chore.

So let's make that scale

   1.  Punch me in the FACE, because that's gonna be better than this movie.
   2.  I will never watch the movie again
   3.  Did I actually pay to see this?
   4.  I wish I saw it on cable.
   5.  I'll only watch it if its free on cable.
   6.  Can't find the remote...so I guess I'll watch this
   7.  This is better then the other stuff that's on.
   8.  I will watch the movie again
   9.  I CAN'T WAIT to watch the movie again
 10.  This movie WILL be owned, in any form because it's that damn good!!.

Now let's review some movies...

The Spy Next Door

Being a fan of Jackie Chan's movies I knew this wasn't going to be one of his best. It's a story that's been done a few times over, some were better and some were worse.

This movie can either be called a fun action movie for the whole family, or Jackie Chan lite. Although the action sequences were done well, they were all the same stunts he has done before. The "wow" factor just wasn't there.

If I take this is just an family movie, then, yes, it lots of fun with just enough silliness to make it worthwhile. But it's a Jackie Chan movie so I expected a lot more, and this movie just didn't deliver.

The acting was good, the story was OK, the pacing was spotty, the plot was basic, the action sequences were average and although I was let down, this movie would be a great introduction to Jackie Chan's style of martial arts and movies.  Considering the opening credits include may of his previous films.


The Princess And The Frog

This is in every sense a typical Disney cartoon. It follows the same formula as Aladdin, Beauty and the Beast and the Little Mermaid. I know that sounds a little snarky, but I say this with absolute joy. Welcome back Disney 2-D animation, you have been away far too long. If you like Disney cartoons you'll like this movie.

This movie also has two of the best emotional moments I have ever seen.

10/10 (I admit outright that this rating is a little skewed, but I have always loved the Disney cartoons)

I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell

The first 75% of this movie is quite irreverently funny. From the first offensive comment to the last even more offensive statements, I was in stitches. What I wasn't expecting was character development and character growth.

At first glance this movie is very similar to 'The Hangover', but it's the last 25% of the movie is where it really takes off.

The story is pretty good, the acting is average, the plot progression was done very well.


Where The Wild Things Are

As a kid, when this was read to my 2nd grade class, I fell in love with this book. Every time it was my turn to pick out the book for story time I would choose this one. It captured my imagination.

I haven't read it nor have I picked it since then.

This is a very dark movie and quite frightening at times. It's also very sad and tragic. There are also some heart warming moments, that will leave you with a warm glow.

All of the characters go through love/hate moments and some characters you never really like.

But what a wonderful fairytale/fantasy. All good movies elicit some kind of emotional reaction, which this movie does in spades. This is not a movie for children. This is a movie for adults. It follows all the rules for a fairy tale and no fairy tale was ever all unicorns and rainbows. Every fairy tale I remember has some truly awful things happen. The big bad wolf eats a grandmother, the wicked stepmother poisons/enslaves/plots to kill the heroine and children kick witches into ovens. This movie is no different. This movie also has the ending that fits a fairytale. It's not a logical ending, but a "happily ever after" ending.

The story is very good, the acting and the special f/x are amazing. The plot flows very well, and even the pacing is spot on.

I'm no longer in 2nd grade and haven't been for a number of years, but this movie captured my imagination again, and for the first time.


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