Apr 8, 2010


After sharing the Disappointment Saga (don't worry, more chapters are coming) I was feeling a bit nostalgic.  So I went back and started looking through the ARCHIVES.

Wow!!  Heh!!  OMG!!  So for the next week...I'm going to be sharing some of my favorite past entries...and basically giving you directors commentary.  Think of it as a lowbudget dvd special feature...

This is technically the very first blog I ever wrote.  I had written the occasional article for a newsletter for the comic shop I once worked at, but this was going to be in the style of my brand new hero. Spider Jerusalem.

As an homage to Spider Jerusalem, I started my first ever rant for "I HATE IT HERE...SOMETIMES", and lo and behold another blogger was born.

First of all, Spider Jerusalem is a fictional futuristic gonzo journalist, from the pages of TRANSMETROPOLITAN. 
TRANSMETROPOLITAN was a monthly comic book series that lasted 5 years.
It was written and created by Warren Ellis.
In this series Spider had a weekly column called I HATE IT HERE.
Which I really liked, so I added the "...sometimes"to be original...

I began to write my blog.

I started with an introduction of who I am and what I wanted to accomplish.

Then the cursing, swearing, and written venom came forth...like a failed spitwad that kind of dribbles down your chin and onto your shirt.  I didn't have my voice yet.  Hell I had no clue what I wanted to say.  I just knew I had to take advantage of this new medium.  I just knew I wanted to write.  On 09-16-03 I finally wrote a little piece on the the failings of Saturday Morning Cartoons.

I added a small introduction to the blog about a week later, and put the intro in before the first blog.

Since then, I have gone back and done some editing, some clarifying of the original piece while still keeping the original flavor and feel.  So with all that said, here's a look to see how it all started.  Almost 7 years later, and I still have no clue what I'm doing half the time.

Originally Written 9-16-2003

My eyes open, and with a slight panic, I glance at the clock. There's a five and an eleven. With a sigh of relief I wipe the after effects and evidence of sleep from my eyes. I leave my warm and comfy bed and head to the bathroom. Afterwards I wander into the kitchen. I drag one of the two kitchen chairs to the cupboards so I can reach an old margarine container that I use as cereal bowl. The clock now says six, one so I turn on the TV.

I know the cartoons won't start until AG-USA is over, but I can not take the chance that today for some weird reason things might change. I walk back to the cupboards to get my box of cereal. If my luck holds out I'll have Frosted Flakes and of course the worst case scenario is I get Apple Jacks or Kix. On this particular day I get Alpha Bits. It's not necessarily what I want, but for today it'll be just fine.

On the TV they are putting some metal tags on some cows ears. I think to myself “Doesn't that hurt them?” followed with a “Oh WHAT DOES THE CLOCK SAY?”

The little wind up clock that sits on top of the console TV now says six six. OK, I still have time. I have to start making the coffee for my mom, because I know she won't want to miss anything either.

Of course I later learned it was the coffee smell that woke her up. The reason she sat there next to me is she was just trying to wake up. However, as a child, it was everything and the world that she sat with me.

Not too much longer now. I check to make sure we have milk in the fridge...and yes we are cool on that front.

Afterwards I jump in the shower and wash all my naughty bits and the dirty ones too. But because I was wearing my super cool Mr. Spock pajamas I put them back on. I look at the clock six and eleven.

Alright!! I pour my Alpha Bits into the margarine bowl, add some milk and with great haste, walk into the living room. I'm spilling milk and cereal all over the place, but it's OK; I'll clean it up during the commercials. Thus begins my Saturday morning ritual.

For the next 5 hours I'll be glued to the boob tube. Spending my Saturday mornings with the likes of the The New Adventures of Mighty Mouse and Heckle & Jeckle, The Bugs Bunny/Road Runner Show, Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids, Shazam, Super Friends, Plastic Man, Captain Caveman and the Teen Angels, The Super Globetrotters, Fred and Barney Meet the Shmoo, Spider-Woman, Scooby-Doo and Scrappy-Doo, The Daffy Duck Show, Fred and Barney Meet the Thing, The New Shmoo, The New Adventures of Flash Gordon, Godzilla, Jonny Quest, and The Jetsons to name a few of the heroic, silly and memorable characters who spent many Saturday mornings with me.

Whatever happened to shows like Tom and Jerry, Popeye, Drak Pack, Thundarr, Dynomutt, The Tarzan/Lone Ranger Adventure Hour, The Fonz and the Happy Days Gang, Richie Rich, Heathcliff/Dingbat, Plastic Man and Baby Plas, Hong Kong Phooey, and The Flintstone Comedy Show

What happened to the cartoons based on video games like Pole Position, Captain N: The Game Master, Pac-Man, Q*bert, Dragon's Lair, Frogger, Donkey Kong, Donkey Kong, Jr. and Space Ace?

Or the cartoons based on Dungeons and Dragons or music videos (the show was called Kid Video)?

What happened to innocent fun and hi-jinks? Even then I knew that Saturday morning cartoons were basically really long commercials, but at least they were entertaining and FUN.

Sure we all got older, and waking up at the crack of dawn to watch some stupid cartoons on a Saturday morning wasn't the same thrill it used to be. I wasn't spending those Saturdays alone. I was eating that bowl of cereal with my mom was right next to me, coffee in hand and laughing at all the silliness that was happening on TV.

Now this isn't just as a days gone by kinda rant. When I was in my 20's I was living with a now ex-girlfriend and her family. Come Saturday morning, her youngest brother and I would be sitting there watching the Saturday morning cartoons. I mean who was cooler than the X-Men and Batman? Well no one was.

Now it seems those days are gone. Now on Saturday morning you get news and world reports. I mean, back then I would sit through AG-USA to make sure that I didn't miss a single cartoon. I guess it is kinda silly that at 1:41 AM on a Monday morning I'm here talking about those long gone Saturday mornings, but I miss them. Those days of awe struck wonder. The days of the Bugs and Tweety Show. The days of the Lone Ranger and Tarzan Adventure Hour. The days of Shazam and Isis. But put more simply...I miss the simple and innocent days.

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