Jan 10, 2011

2010 in Review (January)...Facebook style

Hello my friends, cohorts and those that aren't either...Today I'm smooth like hardwood floors...after someone decides to use lemon Pledge on the floor that's right in front of the doorway so that when you wake up and are making a mad dash to the restroom, you slip and fall on your Pale and Fat Mexican Ass...Hello New Year, I guess I'll be your bitch too...

HOLY CRAP...my sister is getting married!!!....and I believe the next sign of the Apocalypse is the Four Horsemen regroup and go on a nationwide tour...

Hello my friends, cohorts and those that aren't either...Today I'm smooth...like a pick-up line...
Me: So what's you're sign
HER: We Reserve The Right To Refuse Service To Anyone

Hello my friends, cohorts and those that aren't either...Today I am smooth...Like a fine wine..."Noooo I don't wanna get out of beeeeeeeed, I'm waaaaarm and coooomyyyyyy!!! Leeeeave Meeeeee Aloooone!!!"

Hello my friends, cohorts and those that aren't either...Today I'm smooth like...Steve McQueen **blink blink** Oh who am I kidding, I'll never be that smooth.

"He asked God, 'Lord, You have commanded me to be happy, but You haven't told me how. Please, Lord what does it take for two people to be happy?' But the Lord had said all that He would say."

a fan      - "sorry but you look old. specially your neck & cheecks at the second shot.." 
Demi Moore - "I'm 47 how am I supposed to look?"

"Perhaps the most difficult choices to make are the ones that deny us those things our heart wants most, because, as it's been said, without reason nor prudence, the heart wants what the heart wants, and more often than not, it will not be denied."

"When someone says, 'you can't do it!' or 'You're good enough!' You do what I do, look them in the eye and say SHUT UP MOM!"

I am trying so hard not to go into the Perv part of the brain after reading this...

I'm not slow...I'm retarded...oh wait that does not make me sound good or nice

Maybe you need to use a dry heat to start houses on fire??

Ironically, I can't login to facebook, yet I can still do this...sometimes Facebook makes me want to cry...or punch Facebook right in the nose.

Started the early morning/late night with some Pantera. Then some  Puya & now some Sepultura, its been a good music early morning/late night

HOLY CRAP!!!  I'M OLD!!!  Stupid white hairs growing...I even tried doing the myspace posing to hide them...stupid getting older...well let's see how long this pic stays up before I get sick of my face...

"Never walk away from a fight thats worth fighting...Never hesitate when you know, you're gonna act...Never waste your words on a fool, you won't listen...Never sell your soul cause you'll never buy it...back"

I've come to realize that...me - sleep = silly emo, so to correct this equation...Me + sleep = NOT emo & I wanna be NOT emo. That's my plan

I decided to kick it old skool when it came to music today...I pulled out the old boom box and the book of CD's and on this chilly chilly day these are the bands that I have been kicking it with so far today...Type-O Negative - Bloody Kisses, Love/Hate - Blackout in the Red Room, Slik Toxik - Doin' the Nasty, TUFF - What Comes Around Goes Around, Wildside - Under the Influence and XYZ - Hungry.

"Sometimes the mind, for reasons we don't necessarily understand, just decides to go to the store for a quart of milk."

"Watching football is like watching pornography. There's plenty of action, and I can't take my eyes off it, but when it's over, I wonder why the hell I spent an afternoon doing it."

There's something heart warming about reading a Tweet that simply says "Good Morning Sinners!"

"Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die."

thas right beee-yah-chess....that means i am mature.... :P...so take that

"Haven't trimmed my beard in so long that it's gone from Crackling Virility Hedge to Hobo Rape Thicket."

"Don’t kneel at my alter and then change your religion. It stings like a motherfucker.”

It's time for me to get some badly needed sleep. My insomnia is finally getting the beat down it deserves. Bon nuit mes amies, Bon nuit.

My IQ 173 beats Judith Polgar ( IQ=170 ), Albert Einstein ( IQ=160 ) and Bill Gates ( IQ=160 ). LMAO...yeah me smart...funny lil box that shows boobies say to me, Me am smart

Dishes and the kitchen are officially clean.....er than it was 30 minutes ago..heehee

Hello friends, cohorts and those undecided, Today I'm SMOOTH like a flat tire...all pretty on top and a let down on the bottom...

I'm trying to bribe a local law enforcement officer (he's my cousin) to let me hold his taser...he said "NO!!!" and it makes me sad

Hello my friends, cohorts and those that aren't either...Today I am smooth like an operator... a smooth operator, smooth operator, smooth operator.

and so the epic battle began...one man stood against insurmountable odds. With a reslove of steel forged in countless battles, he approaches the beast. He could smell the evil coming off of it like waves. He will be victorious. He has no choice. He's out of clean socks and unmentionables...damn the beast known as laundry...damn the beast.

I watched Leverage, The depths of awesomeness that is Leverage makes the Grand Canyon look like a crack in the sidewalk

I am KICKIN laundry behinds today...2 more loads and I am DONE!!!

Laundry's ass...OFFICIALLY KICKED!!! I even watched Daybreakers at the same time...Jose's ass...officially bored...I say wait for cable or at least as a free rental

LOL...ok...but I won't wash your unmentionables...and I don't fold clothes...except for towels, those I'll fold

"It occurred to me this morning, as I was pumping my milk whilst reading Twitter, my life would seem odd to the Amish."

"Everything right & wrong with America summed up in this slogan: 'A corndog is a hot dog in a delicious sweater.'"

Hello friends. cohorts and those undecided, Today I'm smooth like silk...the fake milk not the cocoons made by larvae

Hello friends. cohorts and those undecided, Today I'm smooth like the ground...now I wish everybody would get their damn pants off of me

Is Jesus Vampire Hunter still available on Netflix? I wanted to watch it, but I just couldn't force myself to

When people curse at me I just stare at them and after a few seconds, with "surprise" in my voice I go, 'Oh that's it? Sorry I thought you were going to be original. Sorry, I was giving you too much credit. My bad.'

"Since I am huge Dallas Cowboy fan, does that make me a Romo-sexual? Playoff football-I LOVE IT"

Hello my friends, cohorts, and those undecided...Today I am smooth like Jell-o, any Jell-o except Orange Jell-o. Orange Jell-o is gross.

Hello friends, cohorts and those undecided, Today I'm smooth like a root beer float...A&W root beer, not Barq's...NEVER BARQ"S!!!

"How come it's $2 for an In-n-out burger and $32 for a pilates class? You leave me with no choice..."

Why are Native Americans called Native Americans when they were Native before there was an America?

A small boy was lost at a large shopping mall. He approached a uniformed policeman and said, "I've lost my grandpa!" The cop asked, "What's he like?" The little boy replied, "Jack Daniels and women with big tits".

Nope, I can not see through people.  I try and accept exactly what they show me.  Sometimes it's good, other times not so much.

No I can't hide from myself...I have tried and I always come to the same conclusion...apparently I'm a really good tracker because I find myself every time.

"a pharmaceutical laced touch to combat the unfriendly touch of time...and memories."

I rarely feel lost, more like misplaced in familiar surroundings.  Like a smile on a tear stained face.  I always found that disturbing.  Or I could be missing, without a trace. Running from the hand I'm holding.  I rarely feel lost.  But sometimes, I wish I was escaping the thoughts in my head that need erasing.  Or it could be that I'm not lost at all, it's just that I haven't been found yet.

Your words are like scalpels, cutting through the pristine to expose the the torment that lies just below the skin...thank you for sharing.

"Your enemy is never a villain in his own eyes. Keep this in mind; it may offer a way to make him your friend. If not, you can kill him without hate--and quickly."

Thank you for putting into words, the desolation some of us feel often.

I believe that we are supposed to remember the joy of youth and embrace life with the same fervor.  I hope that the lessons of youth have taught us which path to take.  I pray that the dreams of youth continue to fuel the people we have become.  I believe that acting like children is never the problem.  I believe that acting childish is.

Your words, carefully crafted as they are, continue to open my eyes to new perspectives through your perceptions.

My dark and stormy night was, an insanely humid day, when others lost faith and trust in the man I was and for the first time I saw the sickened creature hiding behind the facade of my creation.

..What do I know of Life?
Life is...
just, unjust, difficult and easy
fair, unfair, spiteful and forgiving
too long, too short, finished or unfinished
A collection of moments strung together in a fragile mosaic
the past we reflect on, the present that passes by
where you started and where you end up
the dreams we strive and hope
beautiful, ugly, joyous, tragic
Life is...
What do I know of Life.

I believe no memory good or bad is ever truly forgotten or erased.  To dwell on either is akin to swimming in the vastness of the ocean drowning in glory days or in moments of misery.  But every new experience whether good or bad keeps you moving, towards the shores of living

They could accomplish everything they have ever wanted to do and their life would never be complete. That is the curse of those that spend their time looking towards the heavens and not on the path at their feet.

I welcome those negative people with open arms.  If it wasn't for all the people who have told me what I couldn't do, then I wouldn't have tried so hard to prove them wrong.  And I wouldn't have known what I had been capable of all this time.

I am saddened by the gifts I'll never get to give to the person that "was not there"...and thank you for reminding me...that I am not the only one who feels this way

"For newcomers, Warren's Rule: if Warren has been awake less than 2 hours, it is Morning, no matter what the clock says."

Hello my friends, cohorts and those yet undecided, Today I'm smooth...And It's just like the ocean, Under the moon, Well it's the same as the emotion that I get from you, You got the kinda loving that can be so smooth : )

Hello my friends, cohorts and those yet undecided, Today I', smooth like Superman, only with a towel as a cape, and underwear on the inside.

Hello friends, cohort, and those still undecided,Today I'm smooth...Like the Ability to lose the power of speech...
Her: So what's your name?
Me: He...Uh...Heh...heheheheheheheh

Hello my friends, cohorts & those yet undecided, Today I'm smooth like Batman...only not filled with angst, a little doughy, not in peak physical condition, goes to bed by midnight, not rich, and has no cool toys. But other than that, just like Batman.

Sadly you know those biscuits in the exploding paper tube...all of a sudden I know what I would look like in spandex....*SHUDDER*

Hello my friends, cohorts and those still undecided...today I'm smooth like ice... Ice ice baby vanilla, Ice ice baby (oh-oh) vanilla, Ice ice baby vanilla, Ice ice baby vanilla ice, Yo man let's get out of here, Word to your mother, Ice ice baby too cold, Ice ice baby too cold too cold

Hello my friends. cohorts and those still undecided...Today I'm smooth...like butter...on fresh from the oven banana bread...mmmm fresh and hot banana bread

Hello my friends, cohorts and those still undecided...today I'm smooth like a pick up line...
Me: Hi, so what's your name?
Her: Ida
Me: Ida?
Her: Ida beat your ass, but I don't hit girls!

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