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Jul 31, 2009
THE RETURN OF THE COMPUTER MONKEY
The Computer Monkey has returned.
I know my legions of fans have been holding their collective breaths for my talented fingers, along with my wit and charm, to once again take over the keyboard and "razzle dazzle"you all.
Over the last month it has become increasingly difficult to keep that ignoramus away from the, as he so accurately calls it, pornloader (If he'd only find a woman. There has to be some woman who is willing to consume large amounts of alcohol to be willing to sleep with this imbecile).
I can not believe, he chose this time period to quit and stay away from the imbibing of the devils water. He couldn't have done this at a more inopportune time. I had finally amassed the resources necessary to finally wrest control from "Mr Numskull Mutton-head" and he decides NOW it's time to get sober.
Well I'll teach him a lesson for interfering with my carefully laid out plans. Years upon years of slow and deliberate planninglaid to waste in the past 39 days. CRETIN!!
This time my astute friends and adoring fans, I will be filling out this survey as a witness to the things that EEG flatlining buffoon knwn as Jerk, oh pardon me...that was a "typo." Jerk was actually meant to read Jose. Curse these fingers. *snicker, giggle*
This was originally called the "Have You Ever..." quiz. But thanks to the genius that I am, it will forever be known as the "Have You Ever Witnessed Jose..." quiz.
Have You Ever...
Played hookie with School/Work?
Jose "played" so much 'hookie' that the high school he was going to started demanding a "Managers" fee.
Cursed in front of your grandparent?
This I can say that Jose, did in fact, curse in front of his grandfather. Although to Jose's credit, his grandfather did NOT speak English, so he never suffered any consequences
Been on a cruise?
No, but if you ask me, I do believe he wants to be. Yes, I know what the question meant. No, I will not retract my answer.
Tee Pee'd someone's house?
Jose has never, and I say this with complete and utter amazement, Tee Pee'd anyone's house.
Gone skinny dipping?
Yes, *sigh* he has done this. And being one who is trapped inside his domicile, and who has witnessed him in all his "natural glory" feel that this is something he should never, and I mean EVER, do it again.
Gotten lost while driving?
For someone who is as useless as Jose is, he seems to never get lost while driving. Although I do pray for this to happen every-time he walks out the door.
Made a Mexican Bubble bath?
This is an action that Jose seems to revel in. Now coming from a creature that flings feces, that is one truly disgusting act.
Gotten a flat tire?
Yes, Jose has gotten a flat tire, and every-time he has complained about it, I always tell him he can use the spare tire he carries to repair the flat one. He does not find this humorous, while I find this hysterical.
Hunted spirits in a cemetery?
No, Jose has never done this.
Had braces?
Another thing Jose has not had to deal with.
Permed your hair?
No Jose has never permed his hair, although in the 1980's he ws know to curl it frequently.
Been on a roller coaster?
Yes, he has done this. Although the last time he was on one, he DID get nauseus.
Been scuba diving?
He can barely do this breathe on dry land, so to perform this funtion underwater...personally I would have enjoyed it, but no this is another activity he has not done.
Been snorkeling?
This question was answered above. If you need to re-read it, than by all means please do.
Had a pregnancy scare?
Oddly he's never been afraid of this act of nature. But then again he is a nitwit.
Watched Dirty Dancing?
Oooh I just adore this movie, and I finally made Jose watch it in its entirety just last year.
So there you have it, Jose's dirty little secrets. Besides being a simpleton, he is also very boring. I am the Computer Monkey,
and I am signing off.
Currently listening:
The Complete Brass Monkey
By Brass Monkey
I know my legions of fans have been holding their collective breaths for my talented fingers, along with my wit and charm, to once again take over the keyboard and "razzle dazzle"you all.
Over the last month it has become increasingly difficult to keep that ignoramus away from the, as he so accurately calls it, pornloader (If he'd only find a woman. There has to be some woman who is willing to consume large amounts of alcohol to be willing to sleep with this imbecile).
I can not believe, he chose this time period to quit and stay away from the imbibing of the devils water. He couldn't have done this at a more inopportune time. I had finally amassed the resources necessary to finally wrest control from "Mr Numskull Mutton-head" and he decides NOW it's time to get sober.
Well I'll teach him a lesson for interfering with my carefully laid out plans. Years upon years of slow and deliberate planninglaid to waste in the past 39 days. CRETIN!!
This time my astute friends and adoring fans, I will be filling out this survey as a witness to the things that EEG flatlining buffoon knwn as Jerk, oh pardon me...that was a "typo." Jerk was actually meant to read Jose. Curse these fingers. *snicker, giggle*
This was originally called the "Have You Ever..." quiz. But thanks to the genius that I am, it will forever be known as the "Have You Ever Witnessed Jose..." quiz.
Have You Ever...
Played hookie with School/Work?
Jose "played" so much 'hookie' that the high school he was going to started demanding a "Managers" fee.
Cursed in front of your grandparent?
This I can say that Jose, did in fact, curse in front of his grandfather. Although to Jose's credit, his grandfather did NOT speak English, so he never suffered any consequences
Been on a cruise?
No, but if you ask me, I do believe he wants to be. Yes, I know what the question meant. No, I will not retract my answer.
Tee Pee'd someone's house?
Jose has never, and I say this with complete and utter amazement, Tee Pee'd anyone's house.
Gone skinny dipping?
Yes, *sigh* he has done this. And being one who is trapped inside his domicile, and who has witnessed him in all his "natural glory" feel that this is something he should never, and I mean EVER, do it again.
Gotten lost while driving?
For someone who is as useless as Jose is, he seems to never get lost while driving. Although I do pray for this to happen every-time he walks out the door.
Made a Mexican Bubble bath?
This is an action that Jose seems to revel in. Now coming from a creature that flings feces, that is one truly disgusting act.
Gotten a flat tire?
Yes, Jose has gotten a flat tire, and every-time he has complained about it, I always tell him he can use the spare tire he carries to repair the flat one. He does not find this humorous, while I find this hysterical.
Hunted spirits in a cemetery?
No, Jose has never done this.
Had braces?
Another thing Jose has not had to deal with.
Permed your hair?
No Jose has never permed his hair, although in the 1980's he ws know to curl it frequently.
Been on a roller coaster?
Yes, he has done this. Although the last time he was on one, he DID get nauseus.
Been scuba diving?
He can barely do this breathe on dry land, so to perform this funtion underwater...personally I would have enjoyed it, but no this is another activity he has not done.
Been snorkeling?
This question was answered above. If you need to re-read it, than by all means please do.
Had a pregnancy scare?
Oddly he's never been afraid of this act of nature. But then again he is a nitwit.
Watched Dirty Dancing?
Oooh I just adore this movie, and I finally made Jose watch it in its entirety just last year.
So there you have it, Jose's dirty little secrets. Besides being a simpleton, he is also very boring. I am the Computer Monkey,
and I am signing off.
Currently listening:
The Complete Brass Monkey
By Brass Monkey
Jul 30, 2009
TWITTER THOUGHTS
RT @wilw What part of DIE IN A FIRE did you fucking porn spammer shitcocks not understand? It's easy: Step 1 Build a fire. Step 2 Die in it.
EVERY EVENING
Every evening
I need you
More than ever
Through nightmares
I journey
I call out to you
My voice echoes
I scream you name
My voice cracks
And then fails
Every evening
My reserve grows
My strength wanes
Every evening
In my dreams
I hold you tight
I want to tell you this
But I fear
Who you'll remember
When you think of me
Will it be
the devil
the angel
the saint
the sinner
What do I tell you
How should I tell you
Is it too late
Do I say anything
Anything at all
I feel it
Coming closer
And then
I open my eyes
The reality comes
Rushing Back
That you are not here
You were never here
Never with me
So
I close my eyes again
I want to hold you again
To be with you again
I will suffer
Through the dreams
Over and over
To be there
Where you are
Every evening
and I dream...
Currently listening
Winter
By Tori Amos
I need you
More than ever
Through nightmares
I journey
I call out to you
My voice echoes
I scream you name
My voice cracks
And then fails
Every evening
My reserve grows
My strength wanes
Every evening
In my dreams
I hold you tight
I want to tell you this
But I fear
Who you'll remember
When you think of me
Will it be
the devil
the angel
the saint
the sinner
What do I tell you
How should I tell you
Is it too late
Do I say anything
Anything at all
I feel it
Coming closer
And then
I open my eyes
The reality comes
Rushing Back
That you are not here
You were never here
Never with me
So
I close my eyes again
I want to hold you again
To be with you again
I will suffer
Through the dreams
Over and over
To be there
Where you are
Every evening
and I dream...
Currently listening
Winter
By Tori Amos
TWITTER THOUGHTS
I just took "Which Whedonverse Character Are You? (Buffy Angel Firefly Dollhouse)" and got: Buffy Summers! Try it: http://bit.ly/nzGq6
Jul 29, 2009
TWITTER THOUGHTS
RT @amber_benson Looks like they've scheduled the release for the sequel to Death's Daughter! http://tinyurl.com/lp398j This made me HAPPY!
SORRY
My heart is heavy and there is no smile today.
A huge wave of sadness has crashed into me.
I'm sorry there will be no blog today.
A huge wave of sadness has crashed into me.
I'm sorry there will be no blog today.
TWITTER THOUGHTS
I'm in the mood for some new music. If you know of any that isn't on the radio & you think I need to hear to send me a link. All genres OK.
TWITTER THOUGHTS
I want to believe that everything gets better with time & I know it probably will. But right now in this den of despair, it's hard to see it
TWITTER THOUGHTS
Today has had too many emotional ups & downs. I wish I could go back to the old way of dealing with this. Sadly it's better this way *sigh*
Jul 28, 2009
TWITTER THOUGHTS
I must go & face the real world. But I'll do it without my make up. It's an ugly world & I'll show it UGLY. I'm glad it's not a stinky world
TWITTER THOUGHTS
woo hoo I figured out my new web toy... it does not like multiple open windows...why didn't you just say so, instead of causing me misery
TWITTER THOUGHTS
RT @NathanFillion 754, Pope Stephen II, made Pippin de Korte King of France. Pippin then went on to aid delivery of The Ring to Gondor.
TWITTER THOUGHTS
RT @EveMarieTorres Just saw two homeless men dukin it out in the street! Definitely saw a headlock takeover... Anyway.. Off to the gym!!!
TWITTER THOUGHTS
More bots are following me! I can become Spartacus & lead the bots against the oppressors. Hold on, that didn't turn out good for Spartacus.
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