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You know what has always bugged me? Movie reviews that take a "I'm so much smarter than you" route. Every movie review I have ever read takes this approach. They sit there and with a fine tooth comb and condemn every aspect of the movie or they praise the intellectual aspects of this cinematic experience.
Me, I just want a simple review. Did the movie achieve it's goal. How was the acting? Was the script/story any good. Was the movie entertaining. Add a positive comment. Add a negative comment. Finally make a simple scale and rate that movie accordingly.
It's not asking for much.
Reading a movie review shouldn't have to be a chore.
So let's make that scale
1. Punch me in the FACE, because that's gonna be better than this movie.
2. I will never watch the movie again
3. Did I actually pay to see this?
4. I wish I saw it on cable.
5. I'll only watch it if its free on cable.
6. Can't find the remote...so I guess I'll watch this
7. This is better then the other stuff that's on.
8. I will watch the movie again
9. I CAN'T WAIT to watch the movie again
10. This movie WILL be owned, in any form because it's that damn good!!.
Now let's review some movies...
Family Guy: Something, Something, Something Darkside
Yes
I like Family Guy. Yes I like Star Wars. Yes some of the jokes make
the 5, 8, 12 year old in me cry a little bit. But this was a pretty
good follow up to Blue Harvest. Blue Harvest will always be a little
bit funnier, being the first with all of the unexpected jokes, spoofs
and commentary, but overall this is really funny. Some of the one
liners are hilarious! I was laughing pretty hard! With the attention
to detail you can tell these "spoofs" are a labor of love. And with
the backhanded bitchslap they prove that absolutely nothing is sacred.
AND THAT MY FRIENDS IS WHAT MAKES GREAT COMEDY!
10/10
Sherlock Holmes
This
film is an over-the-top a holiday action thriller. Despite this, the
plot is devious, romantic, comedic and quite satisfying. Using great
visual devices such as flashbacks, slowmotion explanation for his
future actions, a few flashforwards and some Oceans 11 style "fill in
the gap" moments really allow us to get into the mind of Holmes and how
others see him. In the end, for every stereotypical action movie
moment, there are indie film style intimate moments.
But what really made the movie for me was three simple things.
8/10
Whip It
This
is such a quirky little movie. The story was OK. The acting was OK.
The whole package was OK. Cameos up the wazoo. Taken on each
individual factor, there's nothing special about this movie...Yet it
was tons of fun. If you accept it for what it is, a coming of
age/growing into yourself movie, you will enjoy it. It's not a great
movie, but it is fun. This movie won't rewrite cinematic history, but
then again, that's not what I was looking for. Instead I got exactly
what I expected, and that was to be entertained.
8/10
DAYBREAKERS
This
movie could have been awesome...it could have been great...but it
wasn't. The idea that the world is dying because of the vampires was
awesome. Their execution on the other hand was not. The story was
weak. The acting was average. Even the characters showed no
imagination. They took every stereotype, put a good actor in the role,
and did nothing to make the character believable. This movie gets
kudos for pushing the envelope, but they should have developed the
story and the characters better.
I give this 3/10
My CD and Book recommendations
CD
Don Juan DeMarco : Original Motion Picture Soundtrack
Book
The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring by J.R.R. Tolkien
Me, I just want a simple review. Did the movie achieve it's goal. How was the acting? Was the script/story any good. Was the movie entertaining. Add a positive comment. Add a negative comment. Finally make a simple scale and rate that movie accordingly.
It's not asking for much.
Reading a movie review shouldn't have to be a chore.
So let's make that scale
1. Punch me in the FACE, because that's gonna be better than this movie.
2. I will never watch the movie again
3. Did I actually pay to see this?
4. I wish I saw it on cable.
5. I'll only watch it if its free on cable.
6. Can't find the remote...so I guess I'll watch this
7. This is better then the other stuff that's on.
8. I will watch the movie again
9. I CAN'T WAIT to watch the movie again
10. This movie WILL be owned, in any form because it's that damn good!!.
Now let's review some movies...
Family Guy: Something, Something, Something Darkside
Yes
I like Family Guy. Yes I like Star Wars. Yes some of the jokes make
the 5, 8, 12 year old in me cry a little bit. But this was a pretty
good follow up to Blue Harvest. Blue Harvest will always be a little
bit funnier, being the first with all of the unexpected jokes, spoofs
and commentary, but overall this is really funny. Some of the one
liners are hilarious! I was laughing pretty hard! With the attention
to detail you can tell these "spoofs" are a labor of love. And with
the backhanded bitchslap they prove that absolutely nothing is sacred.
AND THAT MY FRIENDS IS WHAT MAKES GREAT COMEDY!
10/10
Sherlock Holmes
This
film is an over-the-top a holiday action thriller. Despite this, the
plot is devious, romantic, comedic and quite satisfying. Using great
visual devices such as flashbacks, slowmotion explanation for his
future actions, a few flashforwards and some Oceans 11 style "fill in
the gap" moments really allow us to get into the mind of Holmes and how
others see him. In the end, for every stereotypical action movie
moment, there are indie film style intimate moments.
But what really made the movie for me was three simple things.
- Holmes was likable.
- Watson was treated like an equal and not the idiot sidekick.
- And
the chemistry of their friendship seemed genuine (which is also a very
good reason why some of the humorous moments work so well).
8/10
Whip It
This
is such a quirky little movie. The story was OK. The acting was OK.
The whole package was OK. Cameos up the wazoo. Taken on each
individual factor, there's nothing special about this movie...Yet it
was tons of fun. If you accept it for what it is, a coming of
age/growing into yourself movie, you will enjoy it. It's not a great
movie, but it is fun. This movie won't rewrite cinematic history, but
then again, that's not what I was looking for. Instead I got exactly
what I expected, and that was to be entertained.
8/10
DAYBREAKERS
This
movie could have been awesome...it could have been great...but it
wasn't. The idea that the world is dying because of the vampires was
awesome. Their execution on the other hand was not. The story was
weak. The acting was average. Even the characters showed no
imagination. They took every stereotype, put a good actor in the role,
and did nothing to make the character believable. This movie gets
kudos for pushing the envelope, but they should have developed the
story and the characters better.
I give this 3/10
My CD and Book recommendations
CD
Don Juan DeMarco : Original Motion Picture Soundtrack
Book
The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring by J.R.R. Tolkien
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