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Feb 21, 2008
TWITTER THOUGHTS
Remember, it is not for any of us to discount the level of importance that others see in us.
126 Life Experiences I've Had
Level one
( ) I have had an asthma attack
(X) Smoked A Cigarette
(X) Smoked A Cigar
(X) Been drunk
(X) Been In Love or still in love
(X) Been Dumped
( ) Been Fired
(X) Been In A Fist Fight
(X) Snuck Out Of A Parent's House
Total so far: 7
Level two
(X) Had Feelings For Someone Who Didn't Have Them Back
(X) Been Arrested or Seen Someone You Know Get Arrested
(X) Made Out With A Stranger
(X) Gone Out On A Blind Date
(X) Had Crush On someone older than you
(X) Skipped School
(X) Slept With A Co-worker/ team mate
(X) Seen Someone / Something Die
Total so far: 15
Level three
(X) Been On A Plane
(X) Thrown Up From Drinking
(X) Eaten Sushi
( ) Been Snowboarding/Skiing
(X) Been Moshing
(X) Taken Pain Killers
(X) Loved or Lost Someone Who You Can't Have
(X) Been in a bad relationship
Total so far: 22
Level four
(X) Laid On Your Back And Watched Cloud Shapes Go By
(X) Made A Snow Angel
( ) Had A Tea Party
(X) Flown A Kite
(X) Built A Sand Castle
(X) Gone Puddle Jumping
(X) Played Dress Up
(X) Jumped Into A Pile Of Leaves
(X) Gone Sledding
(X) Cheated While Playing A Game
Total so far: 31
Level five
(X) Been Lonely
(X) Fallen Asleep At Work / School
(X) Used A Fake / Someone Else's ID
(X) Watched The sun set/ sun rise
( ) Felt An Earthquake
( ) Kissed A Snake
(X) Been Tickled
(X) Been Robbed / Vandalized
(X) Robbed Someone
(X) Been Misunderstood...
Total so far: 39
Level six
( ) Pet A Deer
(X) Won A Contest
(X) Been Suspended
(X) Had Detention
(X) Been In A Car/ Motorcycle Accident
( ) Had / Have Braces
(X) Eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
(X) Had deja vu
(X) Danced in the moonlight
(X) Hated The Way You Look
Total so far: 47
Level seven
(X) Questioned Your Heart
(X) Been obsessed with post-it-notes
(X) Squished Barefoot Through The Mud
(X) Been Lost
( ) Been To The Opposite Side Of The World
( ) Swam In The Ocean
(X) Felt Like You Were Dying
(X) Cried Yourself To Sleep
Total so far: 53
Level eight
(X) Played Cops And Robbers
(X) Recently Colored With Crayons / Colored Pencils / Markers
(X) Sang Karaoke
(X) Done Something You Told Yourself You Wouldn't
(X) Made Prank Phone Calls
(X) Laughed Until Some Kind Of Beverage Came Out Of Your Nose
(X) Kissed In The Rain
(X) Written A Letter To Santa Claus
(X) Been Kissed Under the Mistletoe
Total: 62
Level nine
(X) Watched The Sun Set With Someone You Care / Cared About
(X) Blown Bubbles
(X) Made A Bonfire
(X) Crashed A Party
(X) Have Traveled More Than 5 Days With A Car Full Of People
(X) Gone Rollerskating / Blading
(X) Had A Wish Come True
( ) Been Humped By A Monkey
( ) Worn Pearls
(x) Jumped Off A Bridge
Total: 70
Level ten
( ) Swam With Dolphins
(X) Got Your Tongue Stuck To A Pole/ Freezer/Ice Cube
( ) Kissed A Fish
(X) Worn The Opposite Sex's Clothes
(X) Sat On A Roof Top
(X) Screamed At The Top Of Your Lungs
(X) Done / Attempted A One-Handed Cartwheel
(X) Talked on the phone for more than 6 hours
(X) Stayed Up All Night
Total: 77
Level eleven
(X) Picked And Ate An Apple Right Off The Tree
(X) Climbed A Tree
(X) Had / Been In A Tree House
(X) Have been/Are scared To Watch Scary Movies Alone
(X) Seen/heard a Ghost
( ) Have/had More Than 30 Pairs Of Shoes or Flip Flops
(X) Gone streaking
(X) Been to/Visited Someone At Jail
(X) Played Chicken
(X) Been pushed into a pool with your clothes on
Total: 86
Level twelve
(X) Broken a bone
(X) Been Easily Amused
(x) Caught A Fish
(X) Caught A Butterfly
(X) Laughed So Hard You Cried
(X) Cried So Hard You Laughed
(X) Mooned / Flashed Someone
(X) Had someone Moon / Flash You
Total: 94
Level thirteen
(X) Cheated On A Test
(X) Forgotten Someone's Name
(X) French braided someones hair
(X) Been Kicked Out Of Your House
(X) Rode A Roller Coaster
(X) Went Scuba-Diving / Snorkeling
(X)Had A Cavity
Total: 102
Level fourteen
(X) Been Used
(X) Fell Going Up The Stairs
(X) Licked A Cat
(X) Bitten Someone
(X) Licked Someone
(X) Been shot at
(X) Flattened someone's tires
(X) Drove/rode in a car until the gas light came on
(X) Had five dollars or less and bought something
total: 115
( ) I have had an asthma attack
(X) Smoked A Cigarette
(X) Smoked A Cigar
(X) Been drunk
(X) Been In Love or still in love
(X) Been Dumped
( ) Been Fired
(X) Been In A Fist Fight
(X) Snuck Out Of A Parent's House
Total so far: 7
Level two
(X) Had Feelings For Someone Who Didn't Have Them Back
(X) Been Arrested or Seen Someone You Know Get Arrested
(X) Made Out With A Stranger
(X) Gone Out On A Blind Date
(X) Had Crush On someone older than you
(X) Skipped School
(X) Slept With A Co-worker/ team mate
(X) Seen Someone / Something Die
Total so far: 15
Level three
(X) Been On A Plane
(X) Thrown Up From Drinking
(X) Eaten Sushi
( ) Been Snowboarding/Skiing
(X) Been Moshing
(X) Taken Pain Killers
(X) Loved or Lost Someone Who You Can't Have
(X) Been in a bad relationship
Total so far: 22
Level four
(X) Laid On Your Back And Watched Cloud Shapes Go By
(X) Made A Snow Angel
( ) Had A Tea Party
(X) Flown A Kite
(X) Built A Sand Castle
(X) Gone Puddle Jumping
(X) Played Dress Up
(X) Jumped Into A Pile Of Leaves
(X) Gone Sledding
(X) Cheated While Playing A Game
Total so far: 31
Level five
(X) Been Lonely
(X) Fallen Asleep At Work / School
(X) Used A Fake / Someone Else's ID
(X) Watched The sun set/ sun rise
( ) Felt An Earthquake
( ) Kissed A Snake
(X) Been Tickled
(X) Been Robbed / Vandalized
(X) Robbed Someone
(X) Been Misunderstood...
Total so far: 39
Level six
( ) Pet A Deer
(X) Won A Contest
(X) Been Suspended
(X) Had Detention
(X) Been In A Car/ Motorcycle Accident
( ) Had / Have Braces
(X) Eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
(X) Had deja vu
(X) Danced in the moonlight
(X) Hated The Way You Look
Total so far: 47
Level seven
(X) Questioned Your Heart
(X) Been obsessed with post-it-notes
(X) Squished Barefoot Through The Mud
(X) Been Lost
( ) Been To The Opposite Side Of The World
( ) Swam In The Ocean
(X) Felt Like You Were Dying
(X) Cried Yourself To Sleep
Total so far: 53
Level eight
(X) Played Cops And Robbers
(X) Recently Colored With Crayons / Colored Pencils / Markers
(X) Sang Karaoke
(X) Done Something You Told Yourself You Wouldn't
(X) Made Prank Phone Calls
(X) Laughed Until Some Kind Of Beverage Came Out Of Your Nose
(X) Kissed In The Rain
(X) Written A Letter To Santa Claus
(X) Been Kissed Under the Mistletoe
Total: 62
Level nine
(X) Watched The Sun Set With Someone You Care / Cared About
(X) Blown Bubbles
(X) Made A Bonfire
(X) Crashed A Party
(X) Have Traveled More Than 5 Days With A Car Full Of People
(X) Gone Rollerskating / Blading
(X) Had A Wish Come True
( ) Been Humped By A Monkey
( ) Worn Pearls
(x) Jumped Off A Bridge
Total: 70
Level ten
( ) Swam With Dolphins
(X) Got Your Tongue Stuck To A Pole/ Freezer/Ice Cube
( ) Kissed A Fish
(X) Worn The Opposite Sex's Clothes
(X) Sat On A Roof Top
(X) Screamed At The Top Of Your Lungs
(X) Done / Attempted A One-Handed Cartwheel
(X) Talked on the phone for more than 6 hours
(X) Stayed Up All Night
Total: 77
Level eleven
(X) Picked And Ate An Apple Right Off The Tree
(X) Climbed A Tree
(X) Had / Been In A Tree House
(X) Have been/Are scared To Watch Scary Movies Alone
(X) Seen/heard a Ghost
( ) Have/had More Than 30 Pairs Of Shoes or Flip Flops
(X) Gone streaking
(X) Been to/Visited Someone At Jail
(X) Played Chicken
(X) Been pushed into a pool with your clothes on
Total: 86
Level twelve
(X) Broken a bone
(X) Been Easily Amused
(x) Caught A Fish
(X) Caught A Butterfly
(X) Laughed So Hard You Cried
(X) Cried So Hard You Laughed
(X) Mooned / Flashed Someone
(X) Had someone Moon / Flash You
Total: 94
Level thirteen
(X) Cheated On A Test
(X) Forgotten Someone's Name
(X) French braided someones hair
(X) Been Kicked Out Of Your House
(X) Rode A Roller Coaster
(X) Went Scuba-Diving / Snorkeling
(X)Had A Cavity
Total: 102
Level fourteen
(X) Been Used
(X) Fell Going Up The Stairs
(X) Licked A Cat
(X) Bitten Someone
(X) Licked Someone
(X) Been shot at
(X) Flattened someone's tires
(X) Drove/rode in a car until the gas light came on
(X) Had five dollars or less and bought something
total: 115
Feb 20, 2008
TWITTER THOUGHTS
I am not confused or baffled by homosexuality, but I am confused and baffled by people who are confused and baffled by homosexuality.
Feb 19, 2008
VALENTINE'S DAY ,sure it's late, but it's worth it.
OK. I get it.
Some of you don't like Valentine's Day.
I understand.
What I understand least about this particular topic, is the reasons why some of you hate this "holiday."
So I (in my infinite lack of wisdom and tact), will sit here, type away and make some lame jokes, so that I might understand your feelings.
OK?
1. He/she doesn't know what type of gift/goodies to give or are desired.
If you're with someone, and you love them it doesn't matter what you get them. That kind of thinking is like beating a dead horse. Sure it may make you feel good and the "squish" sounds may be kind of cool, but ultimately all you'll be doing is attracting flies and getting nowhere fast.
If they like flowers/plants buy them one.
If they have a sweet tooth...by all that is good and holy get them some chocolate.
If they like jewelery AND you can afford it, get them a little trinket.
Hell most guys would be happy with a decent DVD/Video Game/CD. Price $10-$25.
Most women would be happy with a card and some kind of flower. Price $10-$25.
Shopping is done.
Now on to more important things. Whether to go out for dinner and entertainment or stay home and cuddle. Either way it's a win win situation.
HOWEVER--If your entire relationship hinders on the perfect gift, get the hell out of dodge. Run to the hills. Get to steppin'.
No relationship should ever be so fragile as to hang on the balance of a gift of any kind. Which pretty much means you think you are driving down a 2-way street, but sadly it's a one way and if you look closely up ahead you can see that it dead ends.
2. It makes single people feel like losers because they are single.
Actually it's not this so-called holiday that makes people feel like losers. That particular piece of blame falls into the jurisdiction of...drum roll please...US. WE THE PEOPLE. Your peers.
This is true because no-one can make you feel more like crap than those you trust and love the most. So this goes out to all of you, The Friends/The Pals/The Chums who think they know better...
SHUT UP!!
Just because you're in a relationship, it doesn't make you any better than anyone else...EVER!
It also does not mean you have the ability to dispense advice like a seasoned veteran, it just means you were lucky to find someone who is willing to put up with you, for whatever reason they choose to call it.
This does not raise your status in the world. It does not elevate you or your wisdom.
It doesn't make you a better person in any way. It just makes you NOT single.
Just remember, you're only one word from being single again...and that word is "GOOD-BYE."
3. Valentine's Day is such an important holiday for couples.
OK, and anyone who believes this should be drawn and quartered. After being kicked in the Jimmy/Jane multiple times, with pointy boots/shoes.
WHY?
Because you are too stupid to breathe. You should not wait until Feb. 14th to tell anyone how you feel.
This should be done repeatedly, everyday and for no reason at all.
If you want to propose than propose. Doing it on a Hallmark holiday does NOT make it more romantic, it makes it cliche.
If Valentines day reminds you how special the one you're with is...end it right now. You should be reminded of this fact every time they breathe. Because, in all honesty, no one really needs any one person to live.
If you're happy with who you are, you don't need someone to else to define you.
Ever.
Some of you don't like Valentine's Day.
I understand.
What I understand least about this particular topic, is the reasons why some of you hate this "holiday."
So I (in my infinite lack of wisdom and tact), will sit here, type away and make some lame jokes, so that I might understand your feelings.
OK?
1. He/she doesn't know what type of gift/goodies to give or are desired.
If you're with someone, and you love them it doesn't matter what you get them. That kind of thinking is like beating a dead horse. Sure it may make you feel good and the "squish" sounds may be kind of cool, but ultimately all you'll be doing is attracting flies and getting nowhere fast.
If they like flowers/plants buy them one.
If they have a sweet tooth...by all that is good and holy get them some chocolate.
If they like jewelery AND you can afford it, get them a little trinket.
Hell most guys would be happy with a decent DVD/Video Game/CD. Price $10-$25.
Most women would be happy with a card and some kind of flower. Price $10-$25.
Shopping is done.
Now on to more important things. Whether to go out for dinner and entertainment or stay home and cuddle. Either way it's a win win situation.
HOWEVER--If your entire relationship hinders on the perfect gift, get the hell out of dodge. Run to the hills. Get to steppin'.
No relationship should ever be so fragile as to hang on the balance of a gift of any kind. Which pretty much means you think you are driving down a 2-way street, but sadly it's a one way and if you look closely up ahead you can see that it dead ends.
2. It makes single people feel like losers because they are single.
Actually it's not this so-called holiday that makes people feel like losers. That particular piece of blame falls into the jurisdiction of...drum roll please...US. WE THE PEOPLE. Your peers.
This is true because no-one can make you feel more like crap than those you trust and love the most. So this goes out to all of you, The Friends/The Pals/The Chums who think they know better...
SHUT UP!!
Just because you're in a relationship, it doesn't make you any better than anyone else...EVER!
It also does not mean you have the ability to dispense advice like a seasoned veteran, it just means you were lucky to find someone who is willing to put up with you, for whatever reason they choose to call it.
This does not raise your status in the world. It does not elevate you or your wisdom.
It doesn't make you a better person in any way. It just makes you NOT single.
Just remember, you're only one word from being single again...and that word is "GOOD-BYE."
3. Valentine's Day is such an important holiday for couples.
OK, and anyone who believes this should be drawn and quartered. After being kicked in the Jimmy/Jane multiple times, with pointy boots/shoes.
WHY?
Because you are too stupid to breathe. You should not wait until Feb. 14th to tell anyone how you feel.
This should be done repeatedly, everyday and for no reason at all.
If you want to propose than propose. Doing it on a Hallmark holiday does NOT make it more romantic, it makes it cliche.
If Valentines day reminds you how special the one you're with is...end it right now. You should be reminded of this fact every time they breathe. Because, in all honesty, no one really needs any one person to live.
If you're happy with who you are, you don't need someone to else to define you.
Ever.
Feb 18, 2008
USELESS UPDATES
I'm still just screwing around with some of the functions on the Flock browser. I guess it's a decent tool. I'm just having a lazy day.
First things first...did anyone, besides me that is, catch the Knight Rider movie?
For an updating and revamping it wasn't that bad. It had just the perfect amount of bad acting, very cool visual effects and straight out silliness that was trademark for the show. So I was pleasantly surprised.
Now I'm just waiting for the 4th Indy movie.
I finished reading Brother Odd...OH MY GOD that was the best book so far. If you haven't read the Odd Thomas books by Dean Koontz you really should.
Well other than waiting for Monday Night Raw and screwing around with more of the thingies on this browser, I guess that's all for this moment
First things first...did anyone, besides me that is, catch the Knight Rider movie?
For an updating and revamping it wasn't that bad. It had just the perfect amount of bad acting, very cool visual effects and straight out silliness that was trademark for the show. So I was pleasantly surprised.
Now I'm just waiting for the 4th Indy movie.
I finished reading Brother Odd...OH MY GOD that was the best book so far. If you haven't read the Odd Thomas books by Dean Koontz you really should.
Well other than waiting for Monday Night Raw and screwing around with more of the thingies on this browser, I guess that's all for this moment
TWITTER THOUGHTS
Another thing I can use to waste time, space and all things anti-matter in between.
WOW THIS MAKES THINGS SO MUCH EASIER...i think
I'm playing around with some programs and browsers, and so far Flock is OK. That is until my needs change, I get smarter or I finally figure out this thing that I sit in front of and download porn.
OK sometimes it's a TV.
Sometimes it's nothing at all.
Yeah, that'll do pig, that'll do.
For now.
OK sometimes it's a TV.
Sometimes it's nothing at all.
Yeah, that'll do pig, that'll do.
For now.
Feb 17, 2008
TWITTER THOUGHTS
Right now I am looking for ways to make wasting time on the world wide web more efficient.
WASTING TIME, PRODUCTIVELY
It seems like all I do anymore, is try and figure out ways to be more productive with my ability to waste time.
I'm looking to be more efficient in the laziness.
All because I can't really sleep.
God, this just sucks.
I'm looking to be more efficient in the laziness.
All because I can't really sleep.
God, this just sucks.
Feb 14, 2008
MARTINA McBRIDE - MY VALENTINE
You know...the song is sappy, and the words are pretty common to just about every love song ever written...but today at this moment, every word sings true.
I Love You,
You Will Always Be,
The One Meant For Me,
My Susan,
My Wife,
My Love
Feb 12, 2008
GLOBAL WARMING MY ASS
It's been a while since the snow has been piled up in the parking lots of department stores...(am I aging myself calling them department stores?) as high as the store itself, like in the image below
GOD, that is still so damn cool.
It used to be one of my favorite things from my childhood. I waited and hoped that Sunday would get here faster, because that was the only day they'd be closed.
We "deviants" would grab our sleds, claim a "mountain", climb it and take the plunge (sometimes almost straight down, so that the first few landings would knock the snot AND air out of you) down, just to do it again.
I know it would have been easier and probably safer to just use the hills that were readily available. BUT, damn, to have your very own mountain to trek up, then having the stupidity to try and slide down it!!
That's what being a boy was all about.
Sadly, my digital camera took a dump, so I had to find an image that closely resembled said childhood memory/current snowfall status.
This one actually comes close.
Thank you Mr. Internet for having such images ready and available for us with digital camera issues.
GOD, that is still so damn cool.
It used to be one of my favorite things from my childhood. I waited and hoped that Sunday would get here faster, because that was the only day they'd be closed.
We "deviants" would grab our sleds, claim a "mountain", climb it and take the plunge (sometimes almost straight down, so that the first few landings would knock the snot AND air out of you) down, just to do it again.
I know it would have been easier and probably safer to just use the hills that were readily available. BUT, damn, to have your very own mountain to trek up, then having the stupidity to try and slide down it!!
That's what being a boy was all about.
Sadly, my digital camera took a dump, so I had to find an image that closely resembled said childhood memory/current snowfall status.
This one actually comes close.
Thank you Mr. Internet for having such images ready and available for us with digital camera issues.
Feb 11, 2008
Feb 10, 2008
Feb 9, 2008
NEW KNIGHT RIDER
KITT comes back. KNIGHT RIDER returns. OH MY GOD!!!! The sad part is that I don't care if it's not a Trans Am. I don't care that it's a Ford Shelby instead. Hell I don't even care that Val Killmer is the new voice of KITT. I"m actually happy about the fact that they actually spent some money on this and it won't be as hokey as Team Knight Rider, as predictable as Knight Rider 2000 and as useless as Knight Rider 2010.
Yeah I know, no matter how old I get I still "geek" out way too much for it to be healthy...WOOOO HOOOOO!!!!"
Feb 8, 2008
MY SPACE ADDICT
Myspace is the Devil (pronounced deb-bull).
Thas fo shoe.
I can't believe how much time I waste on here.
I actually came to check my email, which reminds me, I still have to check my email.
Between the blogs and bulletins...Good and Holy Father Christmas, I wasted a good 2 1/2 hours.
I Looked at the time and went "You know what Einstein, this explains why you have no time to do everything you actually plan to do."
My response to myself was "SHUT UP!!! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!!" Followed by rolling up a My Space doobie.
I answered back "You now maybe...just maybe you have a problem..."
I tell myself "That's not true! I can quit anytime I want!" as I'm chopping some My Space on a mirror.
"I think it's time for an intervention." I say to myself.
"I DON'T HAVE A MY SPACE PROBLEM!!! WHY DON'T YOU LISTEN TO ME!!!" as I'm tapping the syringe filled with My Space while I tie off my mouse clicking wrist.
The above scenario was a dramatization of an actual moment.
OK, it was a complete falsehood, but it sure was funny in my head.
It just came to me as I was going through my online rituals.
I check My Space.
I check my emails.
I check out POGO.
I go to Project Play list spend a few minutes there.
Afterwards I look at the time and realize I have used up all my time and I have to rejoin the real world (NOT the MTV series...albeit the best one was Real world 2 L. A.). So I quickly write down some nonsense and hope you don't realize what a piece of crap it is.
INTERMISSION
OK, The Internet is the Devil (pronounced deb-bull).
Thas fo shoe.
Since I mentioned The Real World, I actually went and looked to see what happened to Jon, Irene, Dominic, Aaron, Beth 1 and 2, Glenn, Tami and David. A sad truth is that I knew their names without having to look them up.
OK back to the regularly scheduled blog entry.
INTERMISSION OVER
And that my friends is the how and why of my blogs. It's sad that I know all this, and I still try and write one of these things as often as I can.
You guys deserve better quality blogs.
With that said, ladies and gents, I'll be calling this the end for todays entry.
Damn it, I still have to check my email!!
Mahalo รข nui
Thas fo shoe.
I can't believe how much time I waste on here.
I actually came to check my email, which reminds me, I still have to check my email.
Between the blogs and bulletins...Good and Holy Father Christmas, I wasted a good 2 1/2 hours.
I Looked at the time and went "You know what Einstein, this explains why you have no time to do everything you actually plan to do."
My response to myself was "SHUT UP!!! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!!" Followed by rolling up a My Space doobie.
I answered back "You now maybe...just maybe you have a problem..."
I tell myself "That's not true! I can quit anytime I want!" as I'm chopping some My Space on a mirror.
"I think it's time for an intervention." I say to myself.
"I DON'T HAVE A MY SPACE PROBLEM!!! WHY DON'T YOU LISTEN TO ME!!!" as I'm tapping the syringe filled with My Space while I tie off my mouse clicking wrist.
The above scenario was a dramatization of an actual moment.
OK, it was a complete falsehood, but it sure was funny in my head.
It just came to me as I was going through my online rituals.
I check My Space.
I check my emails.
I check out POGO.
I go to Project Play list spend a few minutes there.
Afterwards I look at the time and realize I have used up all my time and I have to rejoin the real world (NOT the MTV series...albeit the best one was Real world 2 L. A.). So I quickly write down some nonsense and hope you don't realize what a piece of crap it is.
INTERMISSION
OK, The Internet is the Devil (pronounced deb-bull).
Thas fo shoe.
Since I mentioned The Real World, I actually went and looked to see what happened to Jon, Irene, Dominic, Aaron, Beth 1 and 2, Glenn, Tami and David. A sad truth is that I knew their names without having to look them up.
OK back to the regularly scheduled blog entry.
INTERMISSION OVER
And that my friends is the how and why of my blogs. It's sad that I know all this, and I still try and write one of these things as often as I can.
You guys deserve better quality blogs.
With that said, ladies and gents, I'll be calling this the end for todays entry.
Damn it, I still have to check my email!!
Mahalo รข nui
Feb 7, 2008
FREE RANGE, ORIGINAL RECIPE or EXTRA CRISPY revisited
My wife tells me that I have to redo this entry. She looked at me and asked "Are you even trying anymore?"
I was all like "What you doin' gettin' all up in mah bizness!" in my head.
The words that actually came out were "Umm honey I was kind of tired, and I wanted to get it down before I forgot."
Which now that I think about were also the words in my head when I was originally asked if I was even trying.
I think I gots to keep away frum dat MTV...word.
So she suggested that I should probably rewrite it.
So I guess here you have Free Range, Original Recipe or Extra Crispy revisited...
It's Saturday afternoon, and we just finished a stint at the white trash Bloomingdales (I have this love/hate thing with Wal-Mart shoppers) and my wife sees the sign for the Elegant Farmer. She sees this damn sign at least once a week, and at least once a week she says one of these days we should check it out. It finally turned into one of these days, and my wife and I were on our way to the Elegant Farmer.
Gentlefolks, let me explain that I'm not a very big fan of the rustic/farm/craft type establishments (which this totally was) and looking back I should not have been surprised...but I'm getting ahead of myself.
My wife was looking at all the products they carry. Jam's, pies, fresh dairy products, some knick-knacks , you know. Basically, if it has a price tag on it she's going to give it a once over.
Not me, all I was looking for the freshly slaughtered and ready to cook animals that will fill my belly with goodness.
AND I FIND IT!!!
Wooooohoooo went the victory scream!
Hunter/Provider find meat.
Hunter/Provider bring meat to cave.
Hunter/Provider is interrupted with words.
Hunter/Provider is confused.
Sign say this "happy chicken."
These are happy chickens? They have been fed a good and healthy diet? They are free range? They have had a happy life? They are HOW FRIKKEN MUCH?!?!?
And all the other meat products have very similar descriptions.
And they all have pretty much the same reaction from me. Emphasizing "the HOW FRIKKEN MUCH?!?!?" part.
I Like Meat.
Not in the gay way, but in the steak with a side of steak and some pork chops or chicken to take home kind of way.
YUMMY STEAKS! A GOOD BURGER WITH BACON. DEEP FRIED CHICKEN. NOW THAT'S EATIN FOLKS.
Believe me when I say I am no friend of PETA.
I think that every pet is an emergency meal (you know, when the end of the world comes).
I may not go actively hunt said critters, but I fully support those that do.
I think that if a couple thousand bunny rabbits and mice must suffer for make-up that the woman I love wears, than by god put that lip gloss on Mickey and Bugs needs some blush.
If I get to live a little bit longer because they used said little critters in medical experiments, than by all that's holy, I'll get you a few more myself.
I'm getting off track. Sorry.
My PETA thoughts are on a back burner for a wee bit longer. This is about the happy animals that are going to be my lunch/dinner.
I don't care what kind of life my food had. I don't care if it ate well. I don't care if it was from an award winning stock.
All I care about is whether its 350 degrees for 40 minutes or 340 degrees for 50 minutes.
I do not want a history lesson with my meal. I don't want to know what part of the country my tomatoes were grown in. I don't need to know what kind of cow gave me milk for the ice cream I am eating.
I really don't need to know how happy my dinner was.
Because unless I am not mistaken, at this point happiness in no longer part of the equation. The only part of the equation left is "and what sides would you like with your meal?"
So a happy chicken? Who cares.
A fried chicken in a bucket of extra crispy with a side of slaw and mashed taters, please and thank you.
So lovely wifey o'miney...is this up to my usual witty yet pointless waste of cyberspace that you expect and love me for??
I was all like "What you doin' gettin' all up in mah bizness!" in my head.
The words that actually came out were "Umm honey I was kind of tired, and I wanted to get it down before I forgot."
Which now that I think about were also the words in my head when I was originally asked if I was even trying.
I think I gots to keep away frum dat MTV...word.
So she suggested that I should probably rewrite it.
So I guess here you have Free Range, Original Recipe or Extra Crispy revisited...
It's Saturday afternoon, and we just finished a stint at the white trash Bloomingdales (I have this love/hate thing with Wal-Mart shoppers) and my wife sees the sign for the Elegant Farmer. She sees this damn sign at least once a week, and at least once a week she says one of these days we should check it out. It finally turned into one of these days, and my wife and I were on our way to the Elegant Farmer.
Gentlefolks, let me explain that I'm not a very big fan of the rustic/farm/craft type establishments (which this totally was) and looking back I should not have been surprised...but I'm getting ahead of myself.
My wife was looking at all the products they carry. Jam's, pies, fresh dairy products, some knick-knacks , you know. Basically, if it has a price tag on it she's going to give it a once over.
Not me, all I was looking for the freshly slaughtered and ready to cook animals that will fill my belly with goodness.
AND I FIND IT!!!
Wooooohoooo went the victory scream!
Hunter/Provider find meat.
Hunter/Provider bring meat to cave.
Hunter/Provider is interrupted with words.
Hunter/Provider is confused.
Sign say this "happy chicken."
These are happy chickens? They have been fed a good and healthy diet? They are free range? They have had a happy life? They are HOW FRIKKEN MUCH?!?!?
And all the other meat products have very similar descriptions.
And they all have pretty much the same reaction from me. Emphasizing "the HOW FRIKKEN MUCH?!?!?" part.
I Like Meat.
Not in the gay way, but in the steak with a side of steak and some pork chops or chicken to take home kind of way.
YUMMY STEAKS! A GOOD BURGER WITH BACON. DEEP FRIED CHICKEN. NOW THAT'S EATIN FOLKS.
Believe me when I say I am no friend of PETA.
I think that every pet is an emergency meal (you know, when the end of the world comes).
I may not go actively hunt said critters, but I fully support those that do.
I think that if a couple thousand bunny rabbits and mice must suffer for make-up that the woman I love wears, than by god put that lip gloss on Mickey and Bugs needs some blush.
If I get to live a little bit longer because they used said little critters in medical experiments, than by all that's holy, I'll get you a few more myself.
I'm getting off track. Sorry.
My PETA thoughts are on a back burner for a wee bit longer. This is about the happy animals that are going to be my lunch/dinner.
I don't care what kind of life my food had. I don't care if it ate well. I don't care if it was from an award winning stock.
All I care about is whether its 350 degrees for 40 minutes or 340 degrees for 50 minutes.
I do not want a history lesson with my meal. I don't want to know what part of the country my tomatoes were grown in. I don't need to know what kind of cow gave me milk for the ice cream I am eating.
I really don't need to know how happy my dinner was.
Because unless I am not mistaken, at this point happiness in no longer part of the equation. The only part of the equation left is "and what sides would you like with your meal?"
So a happy chicken? Who cares.
A fried chicken in a bucket of extra crispy with a side of slaw and mashed taters, please and thank you.
So lovely wifey o'miney...is this up to my usual witty yet pointless waste of cyberspace that you expect and love me for??
Feb 5, 2008
I ALMOST FORGOT
WAY TO GO GIANTS!!!!
ANY TEAM THAT DOES NOT
AND I REPEAT
DOES NOT HAVE RANDY MOSS CAN WIN!!!
THIS TIME IT HAPPENS TO BE THE GIANTS!!!
I can live with that.
ANY TEAM THAT DOES NOT
AND I REPEAT
DOES NOT HAVE RANDY MOSS CAN WIN!!!
THIS TIME IT HAPPENS TO BE THE GIANTS!!!
I can live with that.
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