MORE CRAP ABOUT ME...YOU MIGHT NEED A PLUNGER

1) Do you panic when people come over and feel the need for your home to be "perfect?"

YES!!!

2) On a scale from 1-10, how organized are you?

3

3) Have you ever played laser tag? Paint ball?

NO!!! I don't like being shot at. Period!

4) How many bottles of wine are in your house right now? Liquor? Cases of beer?

0, 0, 0

5) Have you ever tried "Eastern" methods of medicine or other "alternative" methods?

Nope

6) What is your desktop picture? Screen saver?

Some comic my wife found on the net, and no screen saver

7) Who put on the best concert you've ever been to?

Motley Crue

8) How many songs do you have in iTunes (or other mp3 organizer)? About how many cds do you own?

0, and close to 400

9) What is your favorite piece of computer software?

the whole thing...if it was just a piece, wouldn't that mean it was broken?

10) Why did the chicken cross the road?

cuz it was easier than trying to drive with those claws and wings

BACK AGAIN...FRONT AGAIN...SIDE TO SIDE...NOW WERE DOING THE CHA CHA

I've been married to my wife for 199 days and been living with her for 564 days and she is THE girl.

She fills me with joy, pain, happiness, sadness, lust, desire, love and pisses me off beyond belief.

She's the girl I can't walk or runaway from, and being a guy who has done both(a lot) that's saying quite a bit.

She leaves me little notes in my emails. They're little one or two sentences statements, but they mean the world to me.

Right now she's sleeping, and I was watching her sleep, and it is one of the most beautiful sights I have been witness to. I am able to see the wonder of her sleeping and waking up.

I'm born again every time I see her smile and laugh and I die a little bit every time she cries or is in pain, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

We share the little adventures, tragedies and mundane moments that, when you piece them together, is our lives.

This blog is named after the moment that we started to realize that we were meant to be friends, partners, lovers, husband and wife. It was a simple little dance, done to appease an un-relentless friend...and we danced.

That was the first true step we took together on our journey.

When I stumble or fall, I swallow my pride, and I take that extended hand.

I may kick and scream while doing it, but there it is, my hand in hers.

It's early and this slow dance song is over. I have a wonderful woman waiting for me, and I've kept her waiting long enough.

The next song will start shortly.

WELL OK WHAT THE HELL

This damn SOB is still working so I figured I'd just say hi....."SO HI MO FO"S" If'n you actually want me to say somthing more...than leave a comment. If'n you don't...well than don't. Hell I keep it simple.

Jose

I FOUND MY VOICE TODAY

I found my voice today

It screams and yells
It says cunt and fuck
Nigger and spic
Faggot and dyke

I found my voice today

It says mother and father
Brother and sister
Aunt and uncle
Grandpa and grandma

I found my voice today

It laughs and cries
Brutal and gentle
Soft and loud
Soothing and aggravating

I found my voice today

And it had nothing to say
Everything has already been said
I can't hurt you with my words
Somebody else already has
And you let them

I found my voice today

And it had nothing to say
I can't defend myself
But I don't want to
You can't hurt me with your words
Somebody already has
And I let them

I heard my voice today
And it sounds just like it did yesterday

I heard your voice today

It screams and yells
It says cunt and fuck
Nigger and spic
Faggot and dyke

I heard your voice today

It says mother and father
Brother and sister
Aunt and uncle
Grandpa and grandma

I heard your voice today

It laughs and cries
Brutal and gentle
Soft and loud
Soothing and aggravating

We all have nothing to say.

Nothing.

TRUST

Trust is such a wondrous and powerful word. It builds friendships, relationships, love and reinforces each and every one of those feelings. It's the yard stick we use to measure how much we'll let people affect us and how far we are willing to affect them (or at least try to). It guides us in everyday situations and those "once in a moment" opportunities that end up shaping who we are and who we will be.

Like I said, it's a very powerful and wondrous word.

But trust broken, is as devastating as a blow to the head with a lead pipe. It affects how we deal with people and situations and how those situations affect and deal with us. It affects relationships, families, friends and your inner self. Mistrust is actually a lot more destructive than a loaded gun, with longer lasting results.

If you shoot the gun right, it may never hurt at all and even if you don't that scar will eventually heal.

Mistrust is not so easy to comeback from.

I know this from past and present experience.

Everyday is a step forward, and everyday is a step back.

But in my case, I gotta keep moving.

That's the truth.

Keep walking, keep moving, because anything is better than just giving up.

That's my dedication for the day.

Thanks for listening.

AN UNPLEASANT MEMORY

You know those triggers that automatically kicks a bad memory into a "relive" moment?

That happened to me on 6/2/06.

There's this stupid song called "The Rodeo Song", and if you don't know it, here's the lyrics...

Well it's 40 below and I don't give a ****
Got a heater in my truck and I'm off to the rodeo
And it's Alabama left Alabama right
Come on ya fuckin' dummy get your right step right
Get off the stage ya god damn goof ya know
Piss me off ya fuckin' jerk get on my nerves
Well here comes Johnny with his pecker in his hand
He's a one ball man and he's off to the rodeo
And it's Alabama left and Alabama right
Come on ya fuckin' dummy get your right step right
Get off the stage god damn goof ya know
Piss me off ya fuckin' jerk get on my nerves
Well it's 40 below and I don't give a ****
Got a heater in my truck and I'm off to the rodeo
And it's Alabama left Alabama right
Come on ya fuckin' dummy get your right step right
Get off the stage ya god damn goof ya know
Piss me off ya fuckin' jerk get on my nerves
Well here comes Johnny with his pecker in his hand
He's a one ball man and he's off to the rodeo
And it's Alabama left Alabama right
Come on ya fuckin' dummy get your right step right
Get off the stage ya god damn goof ya know
Piss me off fuckin' jerk get on my nerves


There it is...the last time I heard that song I was 12

My step-dad was drunk and my mom was pregnant with my sister. He smashed her head into the windshield of a blue Chevy Malibu, my step-brother was crying, I was sitting in silence and terror and my step-dad was screaming that if my mom was going to leave, she better have an abortion or else he was gonna kick her in the stomach to make sure she loses the baby.

This was almost 22 years ago.

This all started because I made the mistake of asking if we were going to be leaving the bar soon.

My step-dad had just put money in the jukebox, and this song started. My mom, in a very hushed tone said "Be quiet! You don't want step-dad to hear you!'

But drunk ears pick up everything.

He started screaming at me, "I'm not wasting my hard earned money!! I worked all week, and it was hard work, I deserve this Friday night out. It's MY reward for putting food on the table!!!"

"You are one selfish little prick for even asking something like that!!!"

My mom said, "Don't worry he'll be quiet from now on." I think she was trying to calm him down.

It did not work.

"Don't protect the little shit! He has to learn that the world isn't like his god damn books!!"

My mom got up, and walked out the door.

By herself.

She left all three of us there.

She left me there.

Than step-dad in a very nice and calm voice told step-bro to get his stuff ready, grabbed me by the arm, and shoved me out the door.

I could see that my mom was halfway down the block, walking away and leaving me behind.

Step-dad told us to get in the car.

He drove the car and told my mom to get in.

She didn't.

She said "You're so drunk you're gonna kill him, and I don't wanna see that!!"

So that's when he started screaming "If you're going to leave, you better have an abortion or else I'm was gonna kick you in the stomach to make sure you lose that baby!!"

My mom got in the car.

Just as she settles in, he rams her head into the windshield. Instantly creating a spiderweb.

"You don't never embarrass me in front of my friends ever again!" he yells at her.

During the 20 minute drive home, step-dad is still screaming at me, for ruining his night out.

When we get home, I get sent to my room and he takes step-bro home.

Through the door I ask my mom if she's OK?

During the time that he's gone, my mom says nothing.

I walked out of my room and I ask, "Why did you leave me behind when you walked out the door?"

No response.

I go back into my room.

I sit down with my back against the door and my legs braced against the bed.

I made up mind that night, no matter what happens, I would not run away this time.

I would stand and fight.

When he cames home, he and my mom start up all over again.

While they were screaming at each other, I was getting ready for my confrontation with my step-dad.

Then there was this awful silence.

Step-dad says "Jesus Christ, what have you done this time?"

I run out of my room.

I see my step-dad standing in the middle of the living room.

I see my mom with the phone in her hand and blood streaming down her face.

Step dad went to the bathroom.

I stand there horrified and frozen.

That's my mom, and she's bleeding.

As I look at her, she looks at me, and with a blank stare she hits herself in the head with the phone.

Somehow, (and even to this day I don't know what happened) I had the phone in my hand, and I called 911.

While this was happening, all I could hear was this retching sound coming from the bathroom.

I hung up the phone, walked to the bathroom where the acrid smell of urine and vomit assaulted my senses, grabbed some towels, saw my step-dad with his face in the toilet and kneeling in a puddle of piss.

When the ambulance arrived they took my mom to the hospital.

The cops asked me what happened.

I stood there in silence.

They asked me if I was OK.

I stood there in silence.

Step-dad comes out of the bathroom and says "We were having a fight then she hit herself in the head with the phone, then I called the boy to see if he could do something."

The cop asked me if this was true.

I stood there in silence.

The cop asked me if I was going to be OK.

I nodded. I knew then that this was my only chance to do something, and I failed.

The cops left.

As I stood there in silence, knowing exactly what would happen next, my step-dad approached me, raised his hand and proceeded to give the beating of a lifetime.

"How dare you bring outside people into family business! This is all your fault! If you would only learn to keep your damn mouth shut!"

I took the punches and the slaps in silence.

Tears streamed down my face, but I didn't make a single sound.

A few hours later my mom came back home.

Her head was wrapped in gauze, she gave me a hug and then laid down on the couch.

The next morning, step-dad asks me what happened to the living room, why my mom's head is bandaged and what I did to "fuck everything up?"

I stood there in silence.

All these memories flooded back into my head, because someone played that song.

I really hate that song.

79 THINGS ABOUT ME...that I haven't said before...I think

1. EVER BEEN GIVEN AN ENGAGEMENT RING?
No but I gave one.

2. LONGEST RELATIONSHIP?
7 years

3. LAST GIFT YOU RECEIVED?
Maximum Ride: School's Out Forever...it's a book.

4. WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU WORKED OUT?
does work count?

5. LAST THING YOU SPENT ALOT OF MONEY ON?
Car Payment

6. LAST FOOD YOU ATE?
Dark Chocolate Klondike Bar

7. FIRST THING LOOK AT FIRST ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX?
How they comapare to my wife

8. ONE FAVORITE SONG?
If You're Going Through Hell

9. WHERE DO YOU LIVE?
at home

10. HIGH SCHOOL YOU ATTENDED?
the one that's 7 blocks from where I live

12. FAVORITE MALL STORE?
Spencer's Gifts

13. LONGEST JOB YOU HAD?
7 years

14. DO YOU OWN A PAIR OF DICE?
yes

15. DO YOU PRANK CALL PEOPLE?
Nope

16. LAST WEDDING ATTENDED?
mine

17. FIRST PERSON YOU'D CALL IF YOU WON THE LOTTERY?
my wife

18. LAST TIME YOU ATTENDED CHURCH?
for a friend of my wife's wedding

19. FAVORITE FAST FOOD RESTAURANT?
Arby's

20. WHERE'S YOUR FAVORITE PLACE TO EAT?
The Bedroom

21. CAN YOU COOK?
Yes

22. WHAT CAR DO YOU DRIVE?
1999 Isuzu Rodeo

23. LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
Yesterday morning

24. MOST DISLIKED FOOD?
FISH

25. THING YOU LIKE MOST ABOUT YOURSELF?
adaptability

26. THING YOU DISLIKE MOST ABOUT YOURSELF?
I'm overweight

27. LONGEST SHIFT YOU HAVE WORKED AT A JOB?
34.5 hours

28. FAVORITE MOVIE?
ever...or right now??...well ever...Star Wars...yes ALL OF THEM!! and Right now...well that would be NeverLand

29. CAN YOU SING?
In the Shower

30. LAST CONCERT ATTENDED?
a true concert...Tommy Lee

31. THING YOU NEVER LEAVE HOME WITHOUT?
Pants/shorts

32. FAVORITE VACATION SPOT?
In the arms of my wife

33. DO YOU LIKE CHINESE FOOD?
yes

34. IS YOUR ROOM CLEAN?
Never

35. LAPTOP OR DESKTOP COMPUTER?
Desktop

36. FAVORITE COMEDIAN?
 right now...Carlos Mencia

37. SLEEP WITH OR WITHOUT CLOTHES?
in the pj's that god gave me

38. LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS WORK?
depends on the people

39. HAVE YOU BEEN PULLED OVER?
yes

40. PANCAKES OR FRENCH TOAST?
French Toast

41. DO YOU LIKE COFFEE?
when in the mood

42. HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS?
Cooked

43. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ASTROLOGY?
nope, but it is fun to read.

44. MCDONALDS OR BURGER KING? BK

45. NUMBER OF PILLOWS?
none...sometimes 2

46. WHAT ARE YOU HEARING NOW?
an infomercial

47. PICK ANY LYRIC OR SONG?
If You're Going Through Hell

If you're going through hell
Keep on moving, Face that fire
Walk right through it
You might get out
Before the devil even knows you're there
If you're going through hell
Keep on going, Don't slow down
If you're scared, don't show it
You might get out
Before the devil even knows you're there

48. WHAT KIND OF JELLY DO YOU LIKE ON YOUR PB & j?
strawberry

49. CAN YOU PLAY POOL?
sometimes but never well

50. DO YOU KNOW HOW TO SWIM?
Yes but just enough to not drown

51. FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
Blue Bunny Banana Split

52. DO YOU LIKE MAPS?
Yes until it comes time to re-fold them

53. TELL ME A RANDOM FACT ABOUT YOURSELF?
Right now...I'm almost out of cigarettes

54. EVER ATTEND A THEME PARTY?
yes

55. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON?
summer

56. LAST TIME YOU LAUGHED AT SOMETHING STUPID?
5 hours ago

57. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP THIS MORNING?
I didn't

58. BEST THING ABOUT WINTER?
Snuggling

59. LAST TIME A COP GAVE YOU A TICKET?
Feb 2005

60. NAME OF YOUR FIRST PET?
Christmas

61. DO YOU LIKE GETTING FLOWERS?
Yes

62. WHAT ARE YOU DOING THIS WEEKEND?
Making love to my wife...and some cleaning

63. WHAT IS THE THIRD LETTER OF YOUR FIRST NAME?
s

64. HOW OLD ARE YOUR PET(S)?
I dunno

65. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR BACKPACK?
grey, grey w/ Dale Sr pic., burgandy, tan, and blue...yes I have 5

66. ARE YOU SICK?
mentally or physically?

67. ARE YOU ON A LAPTOP?
No

68. ARE YOU SMILING?
yes

69. DO YOU HAVE ON EYELINER?
Not since the 80's

70. DO YOU MISS SOMEONE RIGHT NOW?
Yes

71. IF YOU COULD GO ANYWHERE WHERE WOULD YOU GO?
to sleep

72. ARE YOU IN LOVE? AND IF YES WITH WHOM?
Yes, my wife

73. ARE YOU IN HIGH SCHOOL?
nope

74. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NAME?
Inara

75. DOES YOUR SCHOOL START IN AUGUST?
If I had a school, it would start in January, last 3 hours a day and everyone would be naked

76. DID YOU GO ON VACATION LAST MONTH?
No

77. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A CRUISE?
No

78. DO YOU HAVE A SISTER?
Yes

79. ARE YOU UPSTAIRS?
Yes

And the song is over...please put another quarter in the jukebox, than we can dance again.

WHEN DID THIS BECOME AN ISSUE

Ok, I know I'm never on the cutting edge of news and news topics...but since when has breast feeding been an issue??

I mean in a time when presidents can have affairs, perjure, sell secrets and start wars.

Where the vice presidents, can make bold faced lies and shoot their friends in the face.

In a time when religious leaders are committing the very sins that they preach against.

In a time when oil companies are doubling and tripling their profits, while maintaining that there is an oil shortage.

In a time when wardrobe malfunctions are common place.

Breastfeeding in public is an issue?  When child abuse and neglect are at an all time high, you want to give a breastfeeding mother a hard time?

You do know that that is the main function of the breast right?

You do realize that it does serve a function and those people who think that that should be done behind closed doors are idiots.

I'm sorry, but I guess there are more important things in life that deserve to be squabbled over.

How closed minded have we become that feeding and nurturing a child because you might see a boob, or more specifically a nipple, is a reason to scoff the women who do it?

I guess I would rather spend my time arguing about the incompetence of our political leaders and the hypocrisies of our religious leaders than to argue about a breast, especially if it's being used for the reason that nature intended.

You know for living in one of the greatest nations in the world...we really have become the same controlling authority we originally left to start a "free world". With that said...this song is done.

A MOTHER'S DAY COME AND GONE

I love my mom, I really do. I just don't like her very much. So I did the obligatory visit, and I hated it. I hated spending time with her and pretending that I was enjoying every minute. If it wasn't for my wife, I would have never gone. I would have bought a card, dropped it off, and come home and quickly drank till I passed out. But with my wife by my side, I'm able to face the ghosts of my past and endure the emotions that were boiling under the surface. So that's that. This time I was wallflowering it. Until the next song...

THE LOST AMONG THE FOUND

Just an old thing that I wrote...about a year and a half ago...and thought I would share...


A cacophony of inane conversations over a one hit wonder that's emanating from everywhere,

Stale smoke, a cold beer, a shot of Jack Daniels and a half a pack of cigarettes,

A broken observer watching, listening

Completely removed from it all.

Bikers and suits, freaks and geeks, and the strong and the meek, and they are communicating, congregating, existing and living.

Some are commenting on my penmanship, and the fact that the writing is small.

I tell them it's just the way I write but the truth is so they can't read it.

Watching girls bend over as they play pool, exposing assets and other things.

Bartender works hard and is tired but smiling.

Strangers sitting next to me, talking about a bad gambling experience.

Lynard Skynard starts to play and the sing along begins.

I'm still separate from it all.

A guy is sitting to my right drinking a Bacardi and Coke, and I could care less.

So than what's wrong with me?

That I would rather sit here, write, watch and observe.

Am I simply dead inside?

So I sit here wondering and pondering if I'm guessing or second guessing myself.

A HOLIDAY WISH

The old year is ending,
the passing of good times,
bad times,
loves lost,
loves found,
friendships made,
friendships forgotten,
friendships that will remain constant,
friendships missed,
an old year is ending.
A new year is beginning,
with new hopes and aspirations,
with unknowns and uncertainties,
with prospects of the heart, mind and soul,
with the idea of tomorrow,
a new year is beginning...
yet I will always remain

BELIEVE

To one and all,
great and small,
to those with
snow covered hands,
or 100 degree sands,
to snow days,
and heat waves,
to the Christians,
or the Jews,
the Arabs,
and the Hindu's.
to those that believe,
in a savior born,
or jolly elves,
to those that light,
Christmas candles,
or menorahs,
to all my neighbors,
in this world,
to you all I wish you,
a season of joy,
a season of hope,
a season of love,
but mostly ,
I wish you to know,
that a stranger today,
sends a prayer your way,
to believe in peace,
to believe in love,
but mostly just to believe.

MOSTLY FILLER

I walk and talk, laugh and cry,
I'm mobile and converse,
I live and I'll die,
I exist, to make you all happy...but you.
I can't make you happy, I just do, just like you make me happy.
I look and see, lie and deny
I breathe so that life, still resides,But I'm not alive.
I'm barely human.
I'm a pariah of my own making.
I carry a Jezebel goblet, and a liars face,
unless you are near me.
Than I wear the face of the friend.
It's a lie.
I am your friend.
But I want more.
I need more.
A friend is not enough.
I want you.
I dream about you.
I call your name.
I scream for your heart.
I long for you.
I miss you when you are near me.
I'm dying when you aren't.
I confessed my desire.
You shared with me that same desire.
I walk and talk, laugh and cry,
When you are not here,
I'm mostly filler....

WHY

why do you love me when no one else did?

why do you listen to every word that's said?

why do you want me in your mad existence?

why do you need me to stand with you?

why do you hold me when I cry at night?

why do you laugh at the stupid things I say?

why do you cry when it's me that hurts?

why do you trust me when it could so easily be a lie?

why do you sleep with me when I steal the covers?

why do you look at me the way you do?

why do you question all the silly things?

why do you accept the tragic things?

why did you dance with me?

why did you keep your secrets?

why do you want to marry me?

why do you want my children?

why do you want me?

why did you choose me?


why?

TO CHOOSE

to stand or fall...I choose to walk
to laugh or cry I...I choose to talk
to sleep or wake...I choose to be
not for you
but for me
to love or hate ...I choose to listen
to sing or dance...I choose to run
to shine or fade...I choose to smoke
not for you
but for me

THE DOOR TO TOMORROW

If life handed you an apple pie and it tasted like apples, that's a good thing, right?

And If life hands you a lemon, you're supposed to make lemonade, correct?

So than, what do you do when life keeps handing you happiness?

I'm not a very nice person (I have ex's who can attest to that).

If someone pisses me off i.e. a person who I thought was a friend and turns out that they did not trust me enough to come with me about something, I'm still nice and pleasant to them.

If a somebody says things about me (race, religion. etc. etc.) that has nothing to do with my personality or generalizes me as nothing but a race, religion etc., I still treat then the same way.

You see before Season I would have torn into them and let loose the hounds of hell so that they knew without any doubt how I felt. That what was done to me did bother me, but now I don't.

You see I feel sorry for them. Not in the "I pity you fool" sort of way, but in the "man, you'll never get me, and that just sucks" kind of way.

I feel bad for us, because when they do this, all it ends up doing is creating a gap between us. The feelings of friendship are now a chasm that separates us.

I will never talk to them the same way I used too. I will not trust them. They are kept at arms length (and I keep hoping my arms get longer).

Now? Well now, the people who do hurt me will never know what their unkind words did.

Instead they get my bogus smile and laugh and a false friend who is keeping his enemies close.

But some how and for some reason, I have the affection and love from the woman who has married me. She looks at me like I really matter and still listens to me, as if my words could move mountains.

She has blessed my life with conversation, with silly topics and the serious discussions. I am fortunate to have a partner, a friend and a wife who wants to share her life with me.

The strength we share, has allowed me to face many of my demons, no matter how ugly they were. She stood by me and still looks at me with love filled eyes.

I thought this was just stories and lies, but here I stand. A believer that true love exists. And that it can keep growing day by day.

So I'm looking at the apple pie and lemonade in front of me. And I'm thinking to myself...do I really deserve this? I honestly don't think so, but Season, she makes me feel like I do. So I take a slice of that apple pie and a swig from the lemonade and revel in the fact that it really is OK to be happy. That it is really OK to find bliss in the person next to you.

That happiness is not a mat that sits on your doorway, but the key that opens the door to a future you never looked towards.

So with that I remain simply...

a happy fool

I DON'T KNOW

I don't know what I'm doing right now,
I'm not following my usual "M.O."
It's something of an idea
to just say what comes in my head
and see where it takes me.
I usually have at least a pattern I follow,
but for once I'm saying "fuck it"
and it seems I get kinda lost doing things this way.
I'm really never sure how to do many things,
I try to take the pass least taken,
but doing that all the time,
it becomes a pattern that I'm trying to break.
I still don't know what I'm doing.
But I'm doing it anyway.

CAN'T

I have been losing control
since I met you
I want to bare my feelings
before your gone
My heart is starting to break
I stand alone

I can't do this by myself
I don't have the strength
I can't lose you
I can't refuse you
I can't do this by myself

Digital talks, late night drinks
take out for two
We danced again, the first time
we walked away
My heart is starting to break
I cried alone

I can't do this by myself
I don't have the strength
I can't lose you
I can't refuse you
I can't do this by myself

A gathering of masses
I think alone
Confessions and retractions
than I chose you
My heart is starting to mend
I'm not alone

I can't do this by myself
I don't have the strength
I can't lose you
I can't refuse you
I can't do this by myself

The first kiss was tentative,
next one lingered
Our lips met, unrestrained love
two became one
My heart is starting to mend
finally home

I can't do this by myself
I don't have the strength
I can't lose you
I can't refuse you
I can't do this by myself

I AM

I never know what to say when I have the words speak
I don't ever know what to look for in a painting
I have no clue what to hear in a song.
I can't dance,
I have no rhythm.
I do not dream because
I do not sleep.
Faith is lost to me because
I don't know what to believe in.
I don't know how to pray,
I never learned.
I cry because there is a sadness
I can't hold in.
I laugh because
I get the joke.
I'm alone because no one else gets it.
I suffocate because
I can't breathe.
I fly because
I finally spread my wings.
I stand because
I refuse to lay down.
I fall and stumble because
I am human.
I live because
I simply do...

A GREATER LOVE

I have never known a greater love
than a baby's smile
or a kittens purr.

I have never seen a brighter light
than a mother's love
or an early morning dawn.

I have never felt a hotter fire
in my lovers eyes
and in her beating heart.

I have never felt a greater love
than being held in her arms
when she comes home from work,
or when I lay myself down for slumber.

I have never known a greater love
until I met you.
I never knew love before,
now I do.

I know my greater love,
It's you.